🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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I get bored when some little tech pinhead starts nattering on at me about "blah blah blah Kickstarter blah blah blah Patreon yab yab yab Instagram and Twitter and makeup and stickers and Myspace.com... and you could have all this!". My eyes glaze over. I don't know what those things are. Or, more precisely, I hear faraway, vague rumors from somewhere over a very distant horizon about them, but we don't have that here. It is alien to me. I don't live among the trendistas. I don't know anyone who can show me how to use this stuff. I'm not allowed to go back to Arkansas State University, where I've given a myriad of reasons why my life would be better, healthier and vastly improved, but all I ever hear back is, "Nuh nuh nuh, yee-oo is not has that, them's our perks, yee-oo is too old to has that now, duh, hurr hurr hurr hurrr".**
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How the hell did he figure YouTube out but not those sites?
You know what I do if I don't understand anything? I push random buttons and see what happens. I felt like a fucking wizard when I made my first email account (I was an impressionable 12-year old, shut up).

I get yelled at and mocked when I suggest creating my own version of ASU on the outside. So I will suggest a third option.
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Tell us again how you would get your moldy bunker to be legally recognized as a University! (keyword: University).

Suddenly, Kengle bragging about his twitter certificate doesn't seem so pathetic.
 
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John Titor dijo:
Suddenly, Kengle bragging about his twitter certificate doesn't seem so pathetic.
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While it may be that no one told Kengle about using a technology, Kengle actually puts forth effort to (at least try to) learn the usage of new technology on his own (like Inkscape over the "juuust fine" MSPaint). Kengle is about a decade older than Sweet, I think.

Oh yeah, and Kengle doesn't make death threats at people at the job he got fired from, nor those who make fun of him online.
 
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Kengle is literally better than Sweet in every way. Not only does he make better comics, he's not a virgin and, despite being older than Jonny, Kengle looks decades younger than him.
 
I find it funny that he keeps talking about going back to ASU despite the fact that, the way he talks about it, he really just wants a place to go out and socialize. Guy could literally solve most his problems if he just went to a bar or some shit.
 
Sanae Kochiya dijo:
I find it funny that he keeps talking about going back to ASU despite the fact that, the way he talks about it, he really just wants a place to go out and socialize. Guy could literally solve most his problems if he just went to a bar or some shit.
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I think the elephant in the room regarding Sweet's social life might well be that, according to the most recently-available list, he has a warrant out for his arrest.

Also I laughed at his dismissal of Twitter as something for "millennials" and "tech pinheads" - the median age of Twitter users is 39.

Sweet Bro shows a pathological need to blame everything on external forces. I can't remember ever seeing him take responsibility for anything he's done. "Manchild" gets thrown around a lot on this site, but in Sweet's case - if the Button Cap of Fail fits, let him wear it.
 
Le Bateleur dijo:
Also I laughed at his dismissal of Twitter as something for "millennials" and "tech pinheads" - the median age of Twitter users is 39.
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I love how he continually insists that all his detractors are teens or twentysomethings who have never known the lingering apprehension of the Cold War, the taste of a McBLT, or the sound of an audiocassette rewinding, despite some of us telling him, repeatedly, that we're around his age. Dude's just bound and determined to make himself a victim, even if it's at the hands of millennials who just DON'T UNDERSTAND him. Whine more, emo kid.
 
Ffs, Sweet, then join a book club or bowling league or something. There are many ways for a grown-ass man to socialize that don't involve bars or going back to university (in fact, the latter is not the best choice for a 40 year old). But we all know you would get yourself banned from any social club you joined within two weeks.

I know he lives in the middle or nowhere but there's gotta be SOMETHING nearish to him.
 
Sanae Kochiya dijo:
I find it funny that he keeps talking about going back to ASU despite the fact that, the way he talks about it, he really just wants a place to go out and socialize. Guy could literally solve most his problems if he just went to a bar or some shit.
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A normal person could do that. An aggressive autist like he is would get punched in the face by some guy or, at best, thrown out just like he was thrown out of ASU.
 
Lol I'm not around his age, I'm...11 years? Younger than him, and damn it feels good. I'm a straight up gangster, a computer god, and I have Sweetie to thank for my unwarranted sense of self-righteousness and my bloated ego. THANKS BUDDY :D
 
MarineTrainedTard dijo:
I know he lives in the middle or nowhere but there's gotta be SOMETHING nearish to him.
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Well, there's the interesting people at 4am at that "news stand" (where he buys batteries from for the "Obama Cable" remote)...

Speaking of, I wonder just how angry Sweet was when analog TV shut down. Mama Sweet probably didn't have any peace for awhile.
 
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His hatred of digital tv is quite the puzzler..... it's like he hates any part of reality that dares pull him out of 1998........ yet there's plenty of things around him that SHOULD have the same effect, rudely reminding him that it's NOT 1998.... like, the PROGRAMMING for example? Yes, you could tune into a rerun, or put the "oldies" station on the radio, but, you can't turn a blind eye to the Toyota Prius in the street..... or the shuttered building downtown that used to be National Record Mart.......... it's weird how selectively hateful he is about it, though, it could be because the guvment (tm) had a hand in it.... I don't know. He's certainly unique when it comes to what sets im off whenever he goes down memory lane.
 
TowinKarz dijo:
His hatred of digital tv is quite the puzzler..... it's like he hates any part of reality that dares pull him out of 1998........ yet there's plenty of things around him that SHOULD have the same effect, rudely reminding him that it's NOT 1998.... like, the PROGRAMMING for example? Yes, you could tune into a rerun, or put the "oldies" station on the radio, but, you can't turn a blind eye to the Toyota Prius in the street..... or the shuttered building downtown that used to be National Record Mart.......... it's weird how selectively hateful he is about it, though, it could be because the guvment (tm) had a hand in it.... I don't know. He's certainly unique when it comes to what sets im off whenever he goes down memory lane.
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He hates it because he bought a cheap piece of shit converter box, is too damn retarded to find his own remote, and too lazy to get up and change the channels himself. That and he can't watch baby shows no more due to the selected cable plan or something like that.
 
He probably didn't configure the converter box correctly. Also, he's probably using a set top antenna, so yeah, his choices will be limited to stations that are close by. An external antenna would probably vastly increase his available programming but that would require effort.
 
DrJonesHat dijo:
He probably didn't configure the converter box correctly. Also, he's probably using a set top antenna, so yeah, his choices will be limited to stations that are close by. An external antenna would probably vastly increase his available programming but that would require effort.
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It requires an IQ above freezing point too and we know Jon don't have that.
 
TowinKarz dijo:
His hatred of digital tv is quite the puzzler..... it's like he hates any part of reality that dares pull him out of 1998........ yet there's plenty of things around him that SHOULD have the same effect, rudely reminding him that it's NOT 1998.... like, the PROGRAMMING for example? Yes, you could tune into a rerun, or put the "oldies" station on the radio, but, you can't turn a blind eye to the Toyota Prius in the street..... or the shuttered building downtown that used to be National Record Mart.......... it's weird how selectively hateful he is about it, though, it could be because the guvment (tm) had a hand in it.... I don't know. He's certainly unique when it comes to what sets im off whenever he goes down memory lane.
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I doubt he gets out enough to notice honestly. I know he talks a big game about going out picking up cans but I bet 99% of his time is spent in the heart of the mold kingdom, watching old cartoons on the Obama cable, so it makes sense that it would make him the angriest.
 
Adamska dijo:
He hates it because he bought a cheap piece of shit converter box
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It'd be much simpler if the Sweet house got a new DTV TV instead of keeping an old TV on life support* to keep it "still serviceable." Then again, maybe Mama Sweet is subtly trying to limit Sweet's TV watching?

*(to use an "Angry Video Game Nerd" analogy)
 
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The main problem that Sweet Bro encountered with the switch to digital TV (outside his own ignorance) was that the Mold Kingdom's TV set dated from half-past the early 1990s. Were he to use one of the slightly less obsolete CRT sets (or - heaven forfend - a flatscreen!) that people were doubtless giving away for free in the local paper, he would have had more success.
 
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