🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

No one told Sweet that people have means of defending themselves (like guns) should Sweet show up to try and attack with an "eight inch bone knife." Remember also that Sweet himself admitted that he attacked his brother, but his brother fought back. Sweet wasn't expecting him to do that, and seemed mad about it in his recollection of it.

If Sweet really intends to actually assault, torture, and kill people, he needs to be removed from society.

Sweet thinks that all of his enemies are unarmed, utterly defenseless, violence-hating liberals who will meekly submit to being murdered by a fat-fingered, chinless, psychopathic, retarded ogre with a fart fetish. It never occurs to him that some of us might be -- for the sake of argument -- large, in-shape military veterans who are life members of the National Rifle Association with instructor certificates in rifle, pistol and shotgun training and who possess what news reports could someday refer to as "a home arsenal." No, that's not possible. We are all eloi, while the Crown Prince of the Mold Kingdom has, as a secondary title, Lord of the Morlocks.

I thought that the best part of his death threat was his claim to own a pike. As in his pathetic novels and short stories, his attempt to create what he envisions as a chilling tableau of mortal dread makes the inevitable sharp left turn into laugh-out-loud comedy when he starts lisping and hissing about putting his enemies' heads atop a medieval weapon that he doesn't possess. He might as well claim that he's going to kill us with his trebuchet or torture us to death in his iron maiden. (If he weren't so ignorant, he could have maximized the unintentional humor by claiming to own one of the more obscure pole arms, promising to put our heads on a halberd or a glaive. But no, stupid is as stupid does.) What an asshat.

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

Dr. Merk, I'm thinking he thinks putting someone's head on a "pike" is just sticking it on some sort of sharpened stake. Otherwise, yeah, he'd look up some really obscure name and use that - "Lochaber axe," e.g.

Anyway, are you busy later? I hate to be a bother, but you're well-acquainted with my BBC fetish, and you know that despite their excellent, bad-boy-free journalism, I don't mean the news organization...

 

[Adamska]

I love it when Sweets decides to show off why he got kicked out of college; sane people don't up and threaten murder and barbaric acts of terror.

The photos I've seen of her on FB were taken outdoors in public places. She was neatly dressed and groomed in all of them.

So signs point to she never ever goes into his room. He probably lies to her about its condition too.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

So after thinking about it I don't see myself doing anything with this. Certainly not going to the authorities to snitch on the goof. Honestly I found it funny more than anything else. Now if the good @Dr. Merkwurdichliebe wanted to alert DA to his threats I would be more than willing to cooperate with DA. As it is though? Naw, I'm good.

Oh and because I'm sure people would want proof that this happened I uploaded the threat. Hopefully I did this right.

 

[Ruin]

So after thinking about it I don't see myself doing anything with this. Certainly not going to the authorities to snitch on the goof. Honestly I found it funny more than anything else. Now if the good @Dr. Merkwurdichliebe wanted to alert DA to his threats I would be more than willing to cooperate with DA. As it is though? Naw, I'm good.

Oh and because I'm sure people would want proof that this happened I uploaded the threat. Hopefully I did this right.

While making sweets lose control over yet another section of the internet would be fun, getting him kicked off Deviantart would shut down the only source of info we currently have on him which would ensure this thread's death giving him what he wants.

 

[Le Bateleur]

So after thinking about it I don't see myself doing anything with this. Certainly not going to the authorities to snitch on the goof. Honestly I found it funny more than anything else. Now if the good @Dr. Merkwurdichliebe wanted to alert DA to his threats I would be more than willing to cooperate with DA. As it is though? Naw, I'm good.

Oh and because I'm sure people would want proof that this happened I uploaded the threat. Hopefully I did this right.

My, my, my - what an intensely homoerotic death threat Sweet Bro wrote!

"eight-inch bone knife"

Fruity.

 

[DrJonesHat]

On further examination, let him flail impotently at us. It's funny. We should, however keep an eye on him to ensure he's not going to escalate beyond making threats.

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

It just worries me a bit how oddly specific the size and type of the knife was. Not seven inches, not nine, not a machete...

 

[DrChristianTroy]

It just worries me a bit how oddly specific the size and type of the knife was. Not seven inches, not nine, not a machete...

Part of me thinks he heard it in some shitty direct-to-video action movie and thought "Wow that sounds badass."

 

[Adamska]

It just worries me a bit how oddly specific the size and type of the knife was. Not seven inches, not nine, not a machete...

So Jonny the ugliest man on earth's schwang is actually 4 in? I can buy that.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

getting him kicked off Deviantart would shut down the only source of info we currently have on him

Also, it's where he showcases Belch Dimension. If we were to report him and the dA staff took down his account, he could get really murderously mad at the farms and dA -- we'd be the new Herald and ASU staff so to speak, if that were to happen.

Then again, were that to happen, he may just resort to posts and angry rants on that old website he already runs, in the fine tradition of the Time Cube guy. Sweet refuses to post here, but he craves attention, so he has to get it somewhere.

 

[Francis York Morgan]

Part of me thinks he heard it in some shitty direct-to-video action movie and thought "Wow that sounds badass."

Or it could be the autism. Sort of like how Chris or ADF get weirdly specific with things that no one else would give a shit about.

 

[AJMLurker]

So after thinking about it I don't see myself doing anything with this. Certainly not going to the authorities to snitch on the goof. Honestly I found it funny more than anything else. Now if the good @Dr. Merkwurdichliebe wanted to alert DA to his threats I would be more than willing to cooperate with DA. As it is though? Naw, I'm good.

Oh and because I'm sure people would want proof that this happened I uploaded the threat. Hopefully I did this right.

This had me busting out laughing because that is the most empty threat ever. Sweet has proven himself a super exceptional individual. Sweet torturing someone, good one. He can't drive. D'oh! Too stupid to track intended victims. Can't drive. Too uncoordinated to properly attack victims. Can't drive. Doesn't own a pike.

A part of me wants to see him arrested though. Not because he's a threat, but because he needs to learn some consequences. At the same time, you know he can't do any of that shit he claims. He's just gonna be sitting in his decaying hovel, surfing the internet, watching cartoons, and farting. Oh Jonny.

Plus I think Jon saw the threat as necessary since he thought he was defending his dad's honor, but Troy's insult was a crack at Sweetness himself.

 

[DrJonesHat]

You know, if Sweet could get over his fear of new technology, he could easily go to Proboards and start his own forum. He might pick up some old AJMers. Yeah, he'd probably ban everyone who didn't agree with him, but he could at least try.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

decaying hovel

Eventually, the Sweet house may collapse if no maintenance is done on it. But it's probable that no one [you know the rest].

 

[Ruin]

I'd be lying if I said I didn't find the mental image of an 89 year old women driving a wild eyed chinless hillbilly to assassinate an internet troll hilarious.

 

[DrJonesHat]

I suspect she's wise to Sweet's schemes, and doesn't drive him anywhere without knowing why he needs to go there.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

It just worries me a bit how oddly specific the size and type of the knife was. Not seven inches, not nine, not a machete...

What I noticed is that, as usual, he's not very accurate at all. Because a knife includes this part that those of us who aren't highly trained journalists like to call "the handle," an eight-inch bone knife is going to have a blade that is only about 3.5 inches long. What he meant to write was "a bone knife with an eight-inch blade." You'd think that someone with almost twenty years of experience at writing death threats would be better at it. Alas, he's even a failure at writing terroristic threats..

 

[DrJonesHat]

I suspect the local PD in Blytheville is aware of him, and has him firmly in the "harmless idiot" column. Thing is, if he keeps emailing people's employers, eventually, he might find someone who isn't aware of Sweet's 18 year reign of terror and takes Sweet's libel seriously. He could possibly get someone fired, and at that point, he ceases to be a nuisance and becomes a real threat. He's pretty much immune to lawsuits as he has no assets, so the only deterrent is the threat of arrest. I really think that the only thing at this point that can shake him out of the little bubble he's lived in since 1998 or so is being forced to live in the real world for awhile, either by doing some time, or getting kicked out of his mom's house.

 

[Le Bateleur]

If only Sweet Bro had the means to buy things online...