How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Squanto Airi]

Maybe he knows I'm fat

Just his type then

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Reading up on investing and realizing I won't live to retire anyway. As long as I can find work or reap unemployment and wont go homeless, why do I need that big of a safety net? Not like I'm gonna blow it on a boat or whatever, but sometimes I genuinely wonder why life is so fixated on those 5-15 years you get to live without a job at the tail-end of it.

I saw a guy in twitch chat say he got lucky with bitcoin and retired at 23. Then what? I'd still continue part-time working, what else is there to do? A 23 year old does not have the experience to find ways to entertain himself for another 60 years, and he also likely didn't make enough that he can actually travel 3 times a year off passive income. Man, life is fucked. What is it even for?

God clearly thinks I'm too dumb to have taken all the subtle hints and is now going for broad comedy. I await the next cosmic joke with dread.

God knows you're the most shining ray of sunshine and targets you specifically with suffering much like the one he put on his son... himself? I don't know how Jesus works.

I'm so used to being treated like a freak show irl by backwater hillbilly cousin fuckers where I'm from that when I go anywhere with actual civilization, or even in online communities, it tends to baffle me whenever someone is bare minimum polite to me.

I'm not treated poorly but while I'm used to people being nice at work, genuinely at that, I freeze whenever I meet people outside work who wants to talk. I'm like fuck, what am I? Outside a job context I'm an inexperienced loser. I've spent most of my life online and playing games yet I'd rather not talk about either. A 70-year old neighbor asked me inside and we spoke a bunch and I just felt inadequate. I've been to the other side of the world on a solo trip etc, but I feel inexperienced because I haven't been in a proper relationship, well-aware how even the mentally stunted can get one. It proves nothing.

The idea alone that I can just say hi to strangers and not be judged on the contents of my dating bio or the shortcomings of my linkedin career is confusing to me. Motivating and empowering, but weird. I'd love to talk to more strangers but you're not allowed to do so in public spaces, on public transport, at work, while they're doing things, while they're... you're just never allowed to talk to people.

My girlfriend may be a furry and I hate her for it.

As someone who spent my teens among furries, I genuinely do not understand why people still find it appealing let alone join it as a newcomer. Porn, OCs, terminally-online? Bro that's every community these days. I remember seeing 1 woman in the fandom per 250 dudes, and suddenly there's plenty of women, granted they all use selfies instead of OCs for pfps; openly talk about how they 'cuddle' all their friends and generally behave like pick-me's. There's just nothing at the core of the fandom. Even bronies got the MLP shows.

 

[Motherf*cker]

Mouse poo.
In my sock and underwear drawer, in my bed, in the carpet, in the bathroom cupboard, in the kitchen cupboards/drawers.

As I was cleaning all the poo I cursed the little mouse until I found it mummified body in the washer and it's the legacy of piss and feces documenting all the places it used as a cozy home during the winter.
Bastard ate all my towels.

 

[Overly Serious]

God knows you're the most shining ray of sunshine and targets you specifically with suffering much like the one he put on his son... himself? I don't know how Jesus works.

You might be thinking of Job rather than Jesus. I really don't want to be the former and I don't think I qualify for the latter. But thank you. I took it in good humour but it was funny to see because I'm not kidding. I was literally still looking at blue skies as the rain began to fall on me.

Or, maybe:

Cute. Maybe.

 

[New & Improved Username]

My girlfriend may be a furry and I hate her for it.

I really hate men telling women what to do but you've got to at least shame that shit out of her. Don't command, just treat it as pathetic, embarrassing and degenerate.

 

[PlapPlapPlapPlapPlap]

>spend $9 (nine dollars) on a pound of ground beef yesterday
>looks totally fine
>sell by was for tomorrow 6/10
>ff to just now
>potatoes and onions all ready
>time to cook the beef
>open fridge
>the shit turned fucking granite colored overnight
[pippa voice] IM GONNA FUCKING SHOOT UP A PUBLIIIIIX in minecraft
guess I'm cooking eggs instead

 

[Shlomo XL]

Would it have been more masculine to have blown up or done something drastic to a dude half my weight after he's screamed at me for the seventh time...?

Bend his knees 180 degrees. This is legal advice.

 

[ForgedBlades]

Rough couple of months. Don't get old, kids.

General update: Cherry on top of the shit sundae; I had an allergic reaction to the antibiotic they gave me. Sunday I woke up and my feet were excruciatingly itchy. By the afternoon a hives-like rash had broken out on my feet and when I woke up yesterday it had spread to my chest, back, arms, and legs. I went back to prompt care and they were like, "Yep, that's a classic delayed reaction to this antibiotic ¯\_(ツ)_/¯". They pulled me off of it and gave me an oral steroid to calm down my immune system. The good news, the itching was confined only to my feet. I can't fathom how miserable I would be if the rest of my body itched like my feet do. Luckily the itch is subsiding a bit. The bad news is that if I stand naked in the mirror I look like something out of a goddamn dermatology textbook.

Spoiler: Gross butt update

I saw the gastro doctor on Thursday and she said it sounds like a textbook internal fissure like I suspected but that it would be best to evaluate it only after the abscess had cleared up. Kept shitting blood and was in pretty horrible pain throughout the week. Saturday the abscess was draining slowly with (relatively) a lot of blood. It never swelled back to its full size on Sunday or Monday which I was actually kind of disappointed about because I wanted the surgeon to see it in its full glory.

Anyway, I had it drained by the surgeon this morning. It was a quick thing. Painful as shit though. They gave me three lidocaine shots which hurt like a motherfucker and even with those, when they started digging around after making the incision I could feel it all.

They packed it with gauze and I have to change the dressing every day. Really looking forward to that... The surgeon agreed that it was almost certainly an internal fissure and that it will be relatively easy to diagnose once the abscess fully heals. They also said that the abscess was probably making it really difficult for the fissure to heal on its own and with it gone it, hopefully it will take care of itself without further intervention. We'll see I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[Otterly]

I'd love to talk to more strangers but you're not allowed to do so in public spaces, on public transport, at work, while they're doing things, while they're... you're just never allowed to talk to people.

You don’t live in Scandinavia by any chance do you?

Reading up on investing and realizing I won't live to retire anyway. As long as I can find work or reap unemployment and wont go homeless, why do I need that big of a safety net? Not like I'm gonna blow it on a boat or whatever, but sometimes I genuinely wonder why life is so fixated on those 5-15 years you get to live without a job at the tail-end of it.

look, take the advice of someone nearer retirement than the start of their working life and save anyway. You WILL see things differently then. I’ve only had the kind of salary I can save anything for a few years now, and I’m trying my best but keep getting hammered by random expenses. If I was in a position to retire I’d be ecstatic. Save for something, you will not regret it later.

 

[Sergeant Major Buzzkill]

Fuckin tired.

I may expand on this in the grind your gears thread, but if you thought you hate cucks, think again.

Spoiler: Long Rant

This mf on a side of the family, right, has almost zero self respect on top of being fucking retarded. Most of my out of town visit when I talk to him is basically telling him to man up and father ya fuckin kid. Fuck what mom has to say, she ain’t there most the time and gives this nigga the cold shoulder.

The stupid part, is just like, look yo today, we shoulda gotten up earlier for your appt. You care about your health, right? You don’t want to die smoking squares all fuckin day? Bro peep this, this nigga was talking about some “yooo we finna make it to downtown, it finna be a movie” bro whole time we tryna catch the train with you and you’re standing there with ya mouth wide open talking about some “uhhh if you guys want to catch the train” NIGGA YOU ARE LATE KEEP MOVING

Mom told me after we dropped him off that he’s a fuckin idiot. But I’m like look not in front of the kid, alright? She probably already has some interpretations about her dad because truth be told they always getting into some weird passive aggressive argument even before I came up and it’s like alright at least keep it from the kid, yeah?

TL;DR: Cucks need to get bucked.

 

[PetiteFeet]

I am fucking exhausted.
Saw my psychologist by midday and then had an appointment at the psych ward in the late afternoon. I think I may have finally gotten the referal I've been waiting 6 months for, to finally get seen by the staff of the ward for personality disorders.
Jesus fucking Christ, how hard is it to listen to a patient the first time they say "so, yeah, my avoidant personality disorder is making my life hellish and I can't escape my own thought patterns to the point I'm suicidally ideating, can I please get some help" instead of just forking over meds with zero therapy to accompany it.
If I didn't know any better, I would be having a Joker moment. Full on nervous breakdown.

 

[Betonhaus]

Would it have been more masculine to have blown up or done something drastic to a dude half my weight after he's screamed at me for the seventh time and not gone to the female head of business with pretty much an ultimatum? Yeah probably. But I honestly don't feel nearly as much shame for talking about it and being honest with the management about where I'm at as I thought I would

I don’t know if having a temper tantrum would have been the most masculine way to handle it. You stood your ground and made your stance clear, and made clear your plans to leave if they wouldn’t listen. That was probably a decent way to handle it.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

I destroyed a Biloxi casino.
For about $17.50 net (not counting tip), after blackjack winnings, I ate a pound of snow crab and Dungeness crab meat. I played blackjack for a quarter hour or so on my way out and the dealer could not stop going bust over and over and over again.

I think it was like a 1-in-1000 odds sequence of play (some hands I did lose), doing back of envelope calculations.

 

[Betonhaus]

After paying more attention to my salt intake I can conclusively say that it was my own damn cooking making me sick, when I thought I was eating the healthiest was when I was the closest to heart failure. So that’s one thing I think I have sorted out. I stopped taking one mediation a month ago and barely noticed, and can probably cut out another one but don’t want to make any big changes while a bunch of other stuff is going on, but it seems that all these meds and shit I was taking were entirely moot as it was just my heart failing and they didn’t do shit for that.

 

[Wigger Rights Advocate]

Give me autism stickers or whatever, but at this time in my life I don't know a single person that has the same music taste as me and it's been pissing me off as of late (keep reading before you start laughing). I thought I didn't care that much about music but clearly 1) I do, and 2) this is a deeper issue that's been surfacing lately

Like, I'll listen to other people's interests even if I don't enjoy them and I think they're lame, because it makes them happy right? But no one ever does the same for me, and even if they did, that's not necessarily what I'm looking for... I just wanted ONE friend that genuinely likes the same stuff I do, is that so hard?
I've never had a friend/friend group where I had things in common with people, now that I think of it. Never felt comfortable to share *too* much about my interests, always too embarrassed to play my music in the car, I always feel like I'm too much. Only person that I had anything vaguely in common with was my ex, which, lmao

I know this is kind of a weird post and very unserious (Kim there's people dying) but I feel like I'm allowed to be a little upset about it. It's not even like I only enjoy these super niche underground things, far from it, so why can't I ever find my people?

 

[PetiteFeet]

After paying more attention to my salt intake I can conclusively say that it was my own damn cooking making me sick, when I thought I was eating the healthiest was when I was the closest to heart failure. So that’s one thing I think I have sorted out. I stopped taking one mediation a month ago and barely noticed, and can probably cut out another one but don’t want to make any big changes while a bunch of other stuff is going on, but it seems that all these meds and shit I was taking were entirely moot as it was just my heart failing and they didn’t do shit for that.

Brother, I need to know just how much salt you put into your god damned cooking.

Give me autism stickers or whatever, but at this time in my life I don't know a single person that has the same music taste as me and it's been pissing me off as of late (keep reading before you start laughing). I thought I didn't care that much about music but clearly 1) I do, and 2) this is a deeper issue that's been surfacing lately

Like, I'll listen to other people's interests even if I don't enjoy them and I think they're lame, because it makes them happy right? But no one ever does the same for me, and even if they did, that's not necessarily what I'm looking for... I just wanted ONE friend that genuinely likes the same stuff I do, is that so hard?
I've never had a friend/friend group where I had things in common with people, now that I think of it. Never felt comfortable to share *too* much about my interests, always too embarrassed to play my music in the car, I always feel like I'm too much. Only person that I had anything vaguely in common with was my ex, which, lmao

I know this is kind of a weird post and very unserious (Kim there's people dying) but I feel like I'm allowed to be a little upset about it. It's not even like I only enjoy these super niche underground things, far from it, so why can't I ever find my people?

So, what music do you like? Try me, as long as it isn't unintelligible metal screaming or, god forbid, country.

 

[Betonhaus]

Brother, I need to know just how much salt you put into your god damned cooking.

to taste.

Problably didn't help that I'm used to proper soy sauce but my partner at the time gets the shitty stuff that looks diluted

 

[Wigger Rights Advocate]

So, what music do you like?

I can listen to pretty much anything so I can find common ground with most people, I just want one God damn person in my life that will be just as autistically obsessed as me about Faith No More and Mr. Bungle and stuff like that

Try me, as long as it isn't unintelligible metal screaming or, god forbid, country.

Well...

 

[PetiteFeet]

I can listen to pretty much anything so I can find common ground with most people, I just want one God damn person in my life that will be just as autistically obsessed as me about Faith No More and Mr. Bungle and stuff like that


Well...

They exist, I promise you. Sometimes you just gotta dig a little longer to find that diamond.

 

[Getmeout]

I really hate men telling women what to do but you've got to at least shame that shit out of her. Don't command, just treat it as pathetic, embarrassing and degenerate.

1. Unless she has OCD there’s no way you can “shame” a grown adult out of a lifestyle
2. That’s a speedrun to her posting screenshots about her abusive discord boyfriend and getting OP harassed.
If it’s a deal breaker, then just break the deal. Whatever you do though don’t have a meltdown in her text messages.

Thread tax: Apparently my dad got me that African jersey cause he wanted to wear it on the day of the World Cup or whatever it’s called, thing is I don’t know shit about sports

Give me autism stickers or whatever, but at this time in my life I don't know a single person that has the same music taste as me and it's been pissing me off as of late

You like Bullet For My Valentine or System of A Down? I like them both but I tend more towards Attack Attack. I love screaming in songs