In order from least gay to most gay:
1. Sex with a woman. Only slightly gay if she's Italian, because then she probably has a moustache.
2. Rugby.
3. Australian Rules Football.
4. Literal gay sex.
5. American Football. Has gone from just kind of homoerotic to full homo in our lifetime. Grown men just can't wait for the National Anthem to play so they can get on their knees in front of other dudes. Ten dozen new penalties every year have made it illegal to have too much fun or even touch the quarterback. At the rate they're going, it's going to be a penalty to intercept the ball, because it would hurt the quarterback's feelings. Blown calls, blown passes, blown coverage-- everybody gets blown. Gay. Play stops every fifteen seconds so they can run a commercial in which a woman emasculates a man to sell you laundry soap or car insurance. The halftime show at the biggest game of the year is some gay pop singer like Lady Gaga or Rihanna. People watch the biggest game of the year just to watch the commercials. It's pretty fucking gay.
6. Soccer. Your gay sport has had to make an effort to crack down on sissies theatrically flopping around on the ground faking penalties and injuries. Look at this faggotry:
Oh boy, he came within six inches of me, I'll take this chance to flop around on the ground fake crying like a toddler and maybe get him to take a yellow card! Holy shit what a gay sport.
7. Europeans who use the word "handegg."
