Game of Thrones Thread

[Marissa Moira]

Look I know HBO just loves to give Celebrity Diversity Hires a bunch of positions they're unqualified for, but damn they really should have not had Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder handle the post production for this episode.

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

Spoiler: Fuck you, ice niggers

Uh, so like Arya went to training solely to end Lannisters, but she gets the kill shot on Darkstar's Dad? What kind of bullshit is this?

Thank god they killed off Bear Loli before she discovered tabletop fusion.

The White Walkers predate Rhollor by just about forever. But Mel is totally involved. Eat a dick.

Bran. Did. Nothing. All the dicks.

Theon doesn't get stabbed in the dick, only to say, "You got me in my least vulnerable spot, Ice Fag."

Why was Nig King smirking for a few scenes after he got un-dragoned? Whoever directed the actor to do that should be killed.

Almost every useless character is still alive. Sansa and Dink's big emotional moment should have been a dual suicide.

Fun to watch, but so, so bad.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

My expectations were low but damn. So much time was put into these characters only to be squandered in a cringey fan service send off. Looks like we're probably getting a happy ending that was never meant to be. It's a shame Martin is still kicking, because now he has to watch this shit.

 

[_blank_]

Look I know HBO just loves to give Celebrity Diversity Hires a bunch of positions they're unqualified for, but damn they really should have not had Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder handle the post production for this episode.

I was streaming and I was getting so much pixelization I was thinking it was a streaming issue. Nope, no turns out it really was that fucking dark. Well I suppose that's one way to stretch the budget.

Also, one question, looking at next week's preview trailer... they still have that many people left in Winterfell? Seriously, did the white walkers decide to just put their weapons away halfway through and try to kill everyone with snuggles? I mean I'm glad Brienne and Podrick and mah boi Davos are alive but... y'all motherfuckers should've been dead. Like eight times over dead, plot armor be damned.

 

[DapperShark]

I thought the episode was good by itself, a pleasant surprise with how awful the show's been since season 5 but from a narrative standpoint it's extremely dissapointing if this is really the end of the Others/White Walkers, all this buildup and the Night's King just goes out like a bitch to some Mary Sue cunt? Blergh.
Hopefully Euron will start acting more like his book counterpart and fuck some shit up.

 

[StarkRavingMad]

This episode was fucking garbage. Dare I say, the entire show is ruined now. I don't give a flying fuck about what happens anymore. I'm livid.

This is the TV equivalent to The Last Jedi for me. There, I said it.

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

It's a shame Martin is still kicking, because now he has to watch this shit.

In the end, the HBO series plot bullshit is all his fault for not finishing his gay food porn series two decades ago.

Fuck that guy.

 

[Krokodil Overdose]

My expectations were low but damn. So much time was put into these characters only to be squandered in a cringey fan service send off. Looks like we're probably getting a happy ending that was never meant to be. It's a shame Martin is still kicking, because now he has to watch this shit.

Maybe it will inspire him to get off his ass and write the actual ending. [/ ]

 

[Teri-Teri]

Spoiler

So Arya is Azor Ahai or is the prophesy just farce?

 

[Judge Holden]

Im sorry but.....what?

Im not gonna lie my expectations were as low as all of you for this to be a fucking predictable cliche ridden seen-a-million-times setpiece episode but jesus fucking christ they actually gave Game of Thrones the fucking Last Jedi treatment in terms of "HAHA! I subverted the story you wanted to see and replaced it with utter pigshit!" fuckery.

This is literally like if the whole central overriding Sauron/One Ring plotline from LOTR abruptly ended in the second chapter of Return of the King when Eowyn casually whips out a fucking blow torch and melts it off Frodo's hand, thus causing Sauron to be forever banished and his entire empire to crumble into dust in a single page, and the rest of the book is spent with the Fellowship rallying a middle earth mass protest against Denathor's immigration policies or some shit.

When will these fcking hack frauds realise that dramatic subversion is utterly fucking worthless if you are replacing what the audience wants/expects with something that is not equal or greater in terms of audience investment and impact.

Hell, it would have been a better payoff if they just made this shit the ending of that whole plotline

 

[Tookie]

This is the TV equivalent to The Last Jedi for me. There, I said it.

This is worse. Last Jedi had a shit setup with Abrams' mystery boxes and generic bullshit. GoT had the best possible setup you could ask for and squandered it all.

 

[Exterminatus]

Just finished the episode and holy fucking Christ, that was so ridiculous. Like I felt like I was watching the Walking Dead with how shit the writing was here. I sadly let my excitement get the better of me and I paid for it in spades with this episode. So much build up...for that.

Also the preview for next week is almost as ridiculous, it's kind of fascinating how Dan and Dave managed to fuck up so much here.

 

[queue-anon]

TBH it's extremely unlikely a ten year old child heir, regardless of sex, would have been allowed to directly partake in a medieval battle, let alone a medieval ice zombie battle with zombie giants, ice dragons, wights and whatnot but House Mormont and the other Northern houses are so fascinating I wish they had more book time not to mention screen time.

Is the character supposed to be 10? Because the actress is 15.

 

[Judge Holden]

Oh god.... i just had a horrifying realisation....

An apocalyptic force thats tied to the deepest lore of the series from the beginning and hyped up as the ultimate threat to the setting and characters for literal decades gets unceremoniously put down like a retarded puppy by an annoying Mary Sue and then the narrative abruptly shifts to a boring ass pirate infested geopolitical slapfight against a cartoonishly malicious and incompetent evil queen cliche who is a Mary Sue in her own right and who uses forbidden green WMDs to wipe out her enemies while employing mad necromancer scientists to build undead abominations to fight for her...

Game of Thrones has officially sunk to World of Warcraft tier writing

 

[Marissa Moira]

Oh god.... i just had a horrifying realisation....

An apocalyptic force thats tied to the deepest lore of the series from the beginning and hyped up as the ultimate threat to the setting and characters for literal decades gets unceremoniously put down like a retarded puppy by an annoying Mary Sue and then the narrative abruptly shifts to a boring ass pirate infested geopolitical slapfight against a cartoonishly malicious and incompetent evil queen cliche who is a Mary Sue in her own right and who uses forbidden green WMDs to wipe out her enemies while employing mad necromancer scientists to build undead abominations to fight for her...

Game of Thrones has officially sunk to World of Warcraft tier writing

That's why I think Cersi is going to wind up being queen of the dead. She's gonna be the Lich Queen and get her ass frozen in ice.

 

[Judge Holden]

That's why I think Cersi is going to wind up being queen of the dead. She's gonna be the Lich Queen and get her ass frozen in ice.

And once she is the undead monarch she effortlessly mercs all the main characters in the final battle only to then get killed by Tywin's ghost and fucking Mord from season 1

 

[Anonymous For This]

Oh god.... i just had a horrifying realisation....

An apocalyptic force thats tied to the deepest lore of the series from the beginning and hyped up as the ultimate threat to the setting and characters for literal decades gets unceremoniously put down like a retarded puppy by an annoying Mary Sue and then the narrative abruptly shifts to a boring ass pirate infested geopolitical slapfight against a cartoonishly malicious and incompetent evil queen cliche who is a Mary Sue in her own right and who uses forbidden green WMDs to wipe out her enemies while employing mad necromancer scientists to build undead abominations to fight for her...

Game of Thrones has officially sunk to World of Warcraft tier writing

Spoiler: Spoiler

I might be in the minority here, but I never felt like Arya was too much like a Mary Sue. I've always assumed the various stints she's undergone training -- be that with her Bravossi teacher or the Faceless Men -- was longer than the screen time made it seem to be.

She started out awkwardly stabbing stable boys to death before working her way up to cooking people in pies. I feel like she's earned her badass skills.

Even though her tying in a mock duel with Brienne of Tarth was dogshit. She's a spooky, scary assassin. Not a fucking warrior. And she also shouldn't have been the one to kill the Night King. This whole series set her up to slit Cersei's throat.

 

[lolwut]

Honestly, regardless of who wins or dies I was kinda 'meh' on the whole undead arc from the beginning. There's enough stories in books/vidya about 'team of plucky adventurers take on Big Bad Evil Guy(tm)'. Gimme more Little Finger/Tyrion/Varys three-way political shit-stirring. Oh wait, they killed Little Finger and Varys is Tyrion's nagging wife now. Oh, well.

Still pretty invested in Jaime's story, so at least I still have that to look forward to being disappointed about.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I was streaming and I was getting so much pixelization I was thinking it was a streaming issue. Nope, no turns out it really was that fucking dark. Well I suppose that's one way to stretch the budget.

Yeah, I have no idea what happened after Melisandre blessed the Dothraki's weapons in the beginning. I still don't understand why everything went quiet so quickly and Ser Jorah rode back with his face looking pixelated.

 

[Judge Holden]

Spoiler: Spoiler

I might be in the minority here, but I never felt like Arya was too much like a Mary Sue. I've always assumed the various stints she's undergone training -- be that with her Bravossi teacher or the Faceless Men -- was longer than the screen time made it seem to be.

She started out awkwardly stabbing stable boys to death before working her way up to cooking people in pies. I feel like she's earned her badass skills.

Even though her tying in a mock duel with Brienne of Tarth was dogshit. She's a spooky, scary assassin. Not a fucking warrior. And she also shouldn't have been the one to kill the Night King. This whole series set her up to slit Cersei's throat.

The Braavos plotline hit her characterisation hard with her becoming the ultimate "nothing personell kid" ninja after a couple months being hit by a stick by her bitch roomate. Had the series gone with GRRM's original idea of a 5 year time skip it would be slightly more believable and less insufferably stupid, but instead we get the proverbial "character goes to karate class for a couple weeks and is now the worlds greatest fighter able to beat thousand year old kung fu demons" treatment

As for narrative yeah...there are a literal dozen characters who would have been a better "haha its not Jon who kills the night king!" subversion. Jaime could have finally lived up to the "Kingslayer" name in a way he wanted while defending the boy he once tried to kill. Theon could have earned his ultimate redemption while killing the dead that never dies. Gendry could have gone all Robert Baratheon with a dragonglass hammer as the night king tries to kill Arya. Fucking Sam could have just shanked him by accident on the way to the privy. Goddamn Gilly could have just thrown a lump of dragonglass through his face while trying to pry Sam out the Privy.

Most importantly all this should have happened in the last/penultimate episode. Not before the fucking halfway point of the season