funny/dumb dsp quotes

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"Thank you, you fucking worthless humans, for the views!"
 
"I need tho that money, I really do. I need that money... To pay my bills..." -Phil "The Conman" Brunell


 
"He's only using online tactics dood, if he did that offline I'd win 100% of the time. Fucking scrubs dood"
 
Two from the same event "Get a fucking life.....what a fucking loser, this fuckers played a thousand matches woooowwww" and also "What are the chances this guy doesn't make money playing games like I do and just....plays alot in his parent's basement *ack ack ack*".
 
Whenever he says "Schhtahp living in the past!!!!" like from in this video clip where 9 years later he's watching himself accuse a child-fan of "living in the past". He's been telling people to stop living in the past because of how much he's changed for over half a decade at this point.
DSP is always accusing people of "living in the past" and will angrily say to people "You're living in the past!", "You can't keep living in the past!", "You gotta stop living in the past!" This is a classic narc manipulation tactic to refuse to ever address anything that happened even 1 day ago. They will dissociate by claiming that their self from the past is an entirely separate person, and you judging them and holding them accountable for what someone else did is fucked-up and actually a character flaw that you need to fix.
In a hilariously meta example of this during his Retrospective event while he was laughing hysterically watching himself from 9 years ago be an asshole to children 2018 DSP sits there and watches 2009 DSP telling a child "Stop living in the past, bro'.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=nCoMpk2TvVg:2894
 
"Whuut am I MISSING??!!

"WHUTT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO??!!".

"WOW you are not gonna believe it but I FIGURED IT OUT, this game has a bugged mechanic and what you need to do is this...It just hit me but wow fuck, oh mayyhhh Gaddd, it doesn't make sense".
 
"Twitch/Youtube/Machinima said, 'Phil, we love your content...'"
 
"Oh, the camera's on!"

"I don't have time to use butter, I'm a Gamer!"

"*SNORT*"

"Thanks for the money, dummies!"
 
"NO!!! (Wildly shakes head) That was my depression! (Points at head) "

Sounds good Phil, kind of like "Yeah, all those times I was constantly and consistently being a rampant asshole for no reason? That wasn't me, that was 'MEEE', (REEE) Okaaay?"
 
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