Money Financhu Crisis / Chris sells his stuff megathread

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

Do they still have jobs where you stuff envelopes from home? He could do that.

'I stuff envelopes! I stuff wrapping paper! I stuff Sellotape! I stuff Gloy Gum!'

 

[AnOminous]

Chris does pay his bills, but he never has any left over for emergencies. So everything that happens on a cycle longer than, say, 2 months will surprise him. Like property taxes.

Which is why he staggers from one crisis to another. Maybe he can handle recurring expenses he knows he has to pay every month, but every time something unexpected happens it's an immediate panic. Eventually he's going to run out of garbage to sell, and nobody really wants Blarb hoard crap. They want stuff with some connection to the Golden Age of Christory.

 

[Muscle Bra]

But Chris, you'd be the employee. If some sped comes into your workplace/store to fuck with you. Just kick them out and call the cops.

But ... what if the sped told Chris "Don't call anybody"?

Chris had a friend, who's mother worked finding employment for special needs people, offer to put him in a job program for speds so if he really wanted to work he could get work. This is just a bunch of excuses and bullshit.

Yep. That's all it is. Quite simply, Chris is just too damn lazy and to unwilling to put some sort of structure in his life to ever get a job like us plebs.

Yeah exactly, his supporters that think they're helping him by giving him money are actually doing the most long term damage. It's like these Food Lion gift cards, fucker wasn't going to actually starve, but now that bit of charity is factored into his regular begging.

I know it's a bit of a digression here, but Chris became a tranny, he's starting to think he's attracted to men, and now he's begging for food.

Bob must be so proud...

 

[Marvin]

I think he's trying to say he doesn't care what you say man. I mean, you'll tell someone they're wrong about Chris, even when there's evidence against him (like the cat missing or Chris wasting money). Anyhow , @AnOminous basically said in his post that he pays bare minimum, then right after he does that, he spends whatever is leftover, so I think you just reiterated his statement.

He was fucking with me. And yes, I was reiterating his statement.

However, regarding evidence: evidence can help support a conclusion or refute the conclusion. Emphasis on help. Ultimately the more evidence you have, the closer you get to the actual truth. I'm not claiming the evidence is not factual, but I'm claiming it's a very small piece of the overall puzzle.

I mean, you do understand what I mean here, right? "I know one thing about Chris" isn't the most important consideration. It needs to be paired with "how many things are there to know?"

For example, everyone knows Chris is a weirdo and he's not good at making friends. But I think, because of the evidence they've seen, they think Chris would never, ever make a friend. But if that's only one piece of evidence, and there's a bunch of other evidence that isn't seen (because on average, we do not stalk Chris and we do not know much about his daily life), then perhaps the truth is slightly different than that.

So, it turns out, Chris has a few friends he met at the pokemon card league. He has been friends with them for like two years before we found out about that.

Something in Chris' life going undiscovered for two years sounds bonkers based on the perception of completeness the cwcki sells you. I think most people on here would be surprised to hear about something like that.

If you're not surprised to hear that, then I'm mistaken. If people don't really believe all the hyperbole about Chris, and they're just shitposting here for fun, then there's no reason for me to counter the prevailing notions about Chris, because everyone posting on here is just joking.

But I don't think that's the case.

Which is why he staggers from one crisis to another. Maybe he can handle recurring expenses he knows he has to pay every month, but every time something unexpected happens it's an immediate panic. Eventually he's going to run out of garbage to sell, and nobody really wants Blarb hoard crap. They want stuff with some connection to the Golden Age of Christory.

Has he been selling all that much stuff in connection with the golden age of christory?

He hasn't sold any medallions in awhile. He sold the sonic totem, his porn drawings, and his ring. But he also sold Bob's stamps, Cole's stuff, and a bunch of other random garbage that he signed. He moved barbage more reliably than he moved christorical stuff.

Like for the past six months, he hustled pretty hard to scare up money. Getting back the deed to 14BC from the bean peddler, while still paying all of the normal monthly bills took a decent chunk of change.

He's been able to handle surprise bills on the scale of $4-6k. That'd cover like car repairs. It's more than I'd expect from him, and I think he'd be able to do it again too. Not right now, but if Chris sells 14BC to the scientologists in 6 months and he needs to pull another miracle like this, I think he could do it again. Probably couldn't pull off a triple play though. Not for a couple of years anyway.

And yeah, something will probably swamp him someday. If he's got to survive this way until the grave, then yeah, the odds aren't great for that.

I think we'll forget about Chris by the time he gets swamped though. My standard isn't "will Chris survive this way forever", but "will we still be around to point and laugh when he does go broke?" I'm not convinced.

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

Strong avatar to post content ratio

Also, not to powerlevel or anything, but I am a cheap motherfucker but I also try to eat healthy and delicious. I work out a lot (so I need to eat a lot), but I enjoy cooking. I do a lot of beans, rice, and whatever meat is on sale. You'd be surprised how many people spend money stupidly on stuff they think is healthy. Organic food is no healthier than regular. As stated, salads (unless made yourself with healthy or no dressing) are not good, either. A lot of places put sugar in their salads to make them taste better. A lot of people think peanut butter is healthy, too (spoiler: it's not unless you buy the kind made only with peanuts and even then only in moderation)

fftopic:fftopic:fftopic:fftopic:
My brain read this entire post in a circa-1996 NWO, mascara beard-era Hulkster voice. Doing a PSA about why you should eat apples. Outstanding.
fftopic:fftopic:fftopic:fftopic:

That aside, is anyone here of the opinion that he looks or seems any healthier in any way since this gymrat/health food thing went full throttle? He actually looked unusually bloated to me in that Funko pic a day or two ago.

I guess that'll involve Chris not getting into the damned Son-Chu for half the movie, a breed of prototype ponies are unleashed, Sonichu and the chaotic combo all fight to the very end, everybody dies around him, the spear of Graduon's power is unleashed, hell rains from above, a bunch of random moments with Chris being told what reality he could be in, Chris makes his decision, and it ends with him accidentally choking his Neptunian waifu to death!

Well done, you savage. I just snizzled a faceful of orange juice.

 

[Done]

But Chris, you'd be the employee. If some sped comes into your workplace/store to fuck with you. Just kick them out and call the cops. Any management would understand I would think

There's no way Chris can be anymore than an entry-level employee, entry-level employees don't get to kick out people without permission from their supervisors, see the Retail Horrors thread if you wanna know what I mean..

I think Chris shouldn't even try for a customer-facing job, he should aim to work at a factory or office job, or even as a warehouse employee, where the very worst he will get is some co-workers messing around with him during lunch-break or something.

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

He hasn't sold any medallions in awhile. He sold the sonic totem, his porn drawings, and his ring. But he also sold Bob's stamps, Cole's stuff, and a bunch of other random garbage that he signed. He moved barbage more reliably than he moved christorical stuff.

Well, if you think about it, apart from making more medallions/amiibos (WORK! STRESS!!), there is actually not much Christorical material to sell left even if he wanted to. Trying to sell Cole's stuff and shit like that smelled like extra-desperation.

 

[Sperglord Dante]

I think Chris shouldn't even try for a customer-facing job, he should aim to work at a factory or office job, or even as a warehouse employee, where the very worst he will get is some co-workers messing around with him during lunch-break or something.

Chris and any work that require more than the absolute minimum social interaction with either customers or co-workers is a recipe for disaster.

Other than mopping floors the only way I could see Chris earning a living is if he got a job in assembly line doing a very, very basic chore. But said line of work is fairly uncommon now thanks to automatization and outsourcing.

 

[Mason Verger]

Chris would a managerial time-suck. The payroll needed to employ him plus keep him on task and productive would never be worth it. Plus he would call out "sick" three times a week till he's terminated.

 

[Done]

Well, if you think about it, apart from making more medallions/amiibos (WORK! STRESS!!), there is actually not much Christorical material to sell left even if he wanted to. Trying to sell Cole's stuff and shit like that smelled like extra-desperation.

I'm curious, did he ever manage to sell the dye bottles lol?

I think his best bet is to sell stuff from his own hoard (as much as it probably pains him), because it has some added nerd appeal and he can immediately see where his price stands alongside the competition and adjust accordingly, I think that he tends to fail in pushing items whenever they are out of that particular range.

Chris and any work that require more than the absolute minimum social interaction with either customers or co-workers is a recipe for disaster.

Other than mopping floors the only way I could see Chris earning a living is if he got a job in assembly line doing a very, very basic chore. But said line of work is fairly uncommon now thanks to automatization and outsourcing.

I don't think getting along with co-workers is impossible for Chris, it's far easier to brief them they're working with a tard rather than briefing every single customer that ever existed or will exist.

And I don't think working in say, a mail room is impossible for him either.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

I'm curious, did he ever manage to sell the dye bottles lol?

Yeah. Someone even bought two of them.

 

[Done]

Yeah. Someone even bought two of them.

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Chris you magnificent bastard!

 

[AnOminous]

Chris and any work that require more than the absolute minimum social interaction with either customers or co-workers is a recipe for disaster.

Other than mopping floors the only way I could see Chris earning a living is if he got a job in assembly line doing a very, very basic chore. But said line of work is fairly uncommon now thanks to automatization and outsourcing.

Chris isn't even as good an employee as many people with Down's Syndrome, who might pick up a task slowly, but are quite often hard workers that do their best. Chris is a jerk who resents being told what to do and would half-ass anything he got a chance to half-ass. On top of that, despite his stupidity, he's also arrogant and the kind of job where he'd be able to do even a half-assed job, he'd either be surrounded by other tards or would personally be the dumbest guy in the place.

I could see him resentfully and in a surly fashion holding down a job if he was really desperate, for a little while, but eventually he'd pull his usual shit and get fired.

I don't think getting along with co-workers is impossible for Chris, it's far easier to brief them they're working with a tard rather than briefing every single customer that ever existed or will exist.

It's not the tard part that would make him useless, but the entitled asshole part.

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

There's no way Chris can be anymore than an entry-level employee, entry-level employees don't get to kick out people without permission from their supervisors, see the Retail Horrors thread if you wanna know what I mean..

I think Chris shouldn't even try for a customer-facing job, he should aim to work at a factory or office job, or even as a warehouse employee, where the very worst he will get is some co-workers messing around with him during lunch-break or something.

I agree completely. But on the other hand, after observing & learning things about him for about a year (blip on the radar, I know, but still).. I will give him one thing. In a handful of certain ways, he is actually smarter than a few lawyers I've known. And no, I'm not being a drama queen when I say this.

I'm not at all implying that he could have been a lawyer, even with a lifetime of top-shelf cultivation. But as I'm sure you already know, the legal profession is an even bigger :autism::autism::autism: magnet than fucking DSP.

It just sucks that all the pieces fell where they did, & without dicking around w who's to blame, it's unfortunate that 99% of his "eccentricities" work against him.

I could see him resentfully and in a surly fashion holding down a job if he was really desperate, for a little while, but eventually he'd pull his usual shit and get fired.

And in the instance that the majority of jerbs he'd realistically have run of, would put him in close, routine proximity to women for the first time since high school [read: now that the virgin tard rage has had apx. 25y to boil in a pressure cooker, as opposed to its infancy stages in the mid-to-late 90s].

And in the current everything climates, it's almost completely in the bag that he'd catch himself a case. Which will not bode well for his Lego collection.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

I agree completely. But on the other hand, after observing & learning things about him for about a year (blip on the radar, I know, but still).. I will give him one thing. In a handful of certain ways, he is actually smarter than a few lawyers I've known. And no, I'm not being a drama queen when I say this.

I'm not at all implying that he could have been a lawyer, even with a lifetime of top-shelf cultivation. But as I'm sure you already know, the legal profession is an even bigger :autism::autism::autism: magnet than fucking DSP.

It just sucks that all the pieces fell where they did, & without dicking around w who's to blame, it's unfortunate that 99% of his "eccentricities" work against him.

While there are a lot of tard lawyers out there, Chris is certainly not smarter than pretty much any lawyer

 

[Done]

While there are a lot of tard lawyers out there, Chris is certainly not smarter than pretty much any lawyer

I don't know.. I'd probably put him on par with Maddox's lawyer, LanDUI.

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

While there are a lot of tard lawyers out there, Chris is certainly not smarter than pretty much any lawyer

I agree. Which is why that's not what I said, my dude.

I don't know.. I'd probably put him on par with Maddox's lawyer, LanDUI.

Lol, see there?

 

[Deadpool]

I don't know.. I'd probably put him on par with Maddox's lawyer, LanDUI.

He's not a lawyer but I'd put him on or above Russel Greer's level.

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

He's not a lawyer but I'd put him on or above Russel Greer's level.

(*Subject to my range of lolcow knowledge)

Reasons why you're right, & why RG is worse (and not on-par) w Chris:

1. Chris doesn't have any interest in effectively legalizing rape.
2. Even Chris knows he isn't entitled to china by simply existing; look how many years & how much effort he has put in to totally knowing this;
3. Chris never goes farther than polite v-logs or twitter handjobs when he thinks a celebrity is cool or he wants something from them. He uses these same mediums to just be rude to ones he hates;
4. Chris lets people pay him before he eventually generates creepy scribbles, RG writes manifestos, demands people buy them, then spergs when people do.
5. Chris doesn't sue people when he feels he has been slighted, although from what I've seen so far, there are a lot of people out there right now who should be hailing Satan that they weren't slapped with criminal harassment suits that they would have 100% deserved & probably lost. Even with the internet being in such a gray area of the law back when they were having a go at him;
6. I'm pretty sure Chris would never murder a celebrity if he was ever in close enough physical proximity to them. I think the opposite is true of RG;
7. Chris knows he isn't a lawyer, & he can at least be guided into knowing when it's appropos to hire one;
8. Chris is willing to resort to using his disability as a lazy, loose excuse for various things. RG wields his like a tire iron, at everyone, for anything, all the time.

 

[Prussian Blue]