Final Fantasy XIV - Kiwi Free Company

Time for todays segment of "Why are X shit?" Healer version, starring me and how pissed off they make me.

-Great job wasting your mp to use holy on a single mob.

-Stop casting cure 3 on the tank, you're gonna run out of mp. Just fucking use cure and cure 2.

-Whms....sweeties, honies, babies. You have a literal skill that negates all mp usage for like 15 seconds. USE IT. Even better if you use it before casting a raise. If you use it combined with presence of mind, you become a machine gun of attacks with 0 MP cost.

-Astros, you have a literal skill that lets you instant cast spells for 15 seconds. USE IT.

-If I'm a white mage in a raid with an astro, why don't they ever use the sect OPPOSITE of what I am? Astros, here's a tip: if you see a whm co healing with you, use nocturnal sect, if they are a scholar, use diurnal. it's not that hard.

-If you choose nocturnal sect when there's a scholar in the party, you are a literal fucking brainlet. YOUR SHIELDS DO NOT STACK. I REPEAT, ASTROLOGIAN SHIELDS AND SCHOLAR SHIELDS DO NOT FUCKING STACK. Don't pick nocturnal when you have a scholar as a co healer. That pisses them off.

-Why am I getting balances placed on me when I'M A FUCKING DANCER AND THERE'S A SAMURAI IN THE PARTY?

-If divination isn't immediately being cast at the beginning of a pull as soon as you're able to, I'm side eyeing you super fucking hard. Astros have tools to make it happen. Draw a card before pull. After fight starts use the card. The cooldown is short enough where you can pull another card, if it's not the one you need, you can reshuffle until you get it. Use it. Then use Sleeve Draw to get the last symbol you need. Cast Divination, boom done. Near instant party wide 6% damage buff right at the start. Combine that with a dancer's tech step, a bard's songs, a ninja's trick attack, or a monk's brotherhood. Even better if you have 2 or more of these. NOW THAT'S A LOTTA DAMAGE. Damage = good.

-Scholars, your job is to SHIELD, so standing around and not shielding anyone before we get hit with a bunch of damage kind of defeats the point of you being a scholar. Switch to whm if you want to be a lazy cunt. Scholars aren't made for big dick healing, they're made for mitigating damage. The fairy alone won't pick up the slack for you.

-Why do I NEVER see a whispering dawn being cast? It's a fucking party wide HoT.

-You do realize fairies can be placed right? Stick your fairy smack in the middle of an arena so they can reach anyone. If you have to move around, just tell it to follow you again. Fairies are pets and GASP good golly garsh, you can command them to do things!

-We're 5 minutes into this pull, why do I not see a chain stratagem yet?

-People complain about scholars being a weak healer, especially for big mob pulls in dungeons, but here, let me help you. USE DISSIPATION AND OR CALL YOUR SERAPH. THAT IS WHY THEY ARE THERE. TO BE USED. Use whispering dawn, use fey illumination to help you. USE YOUR FUCKING TOOLS.

-Healers, if you're ever in a situation where both the tank and a dps are taking damage, the tank ALWAYS gets priority. Because guess what happens if the tank dies because you were too busy trying to heal a dps, that's riiiight WE ALL DIE.

-Also if you're getting attacked by a mob, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BRING IT TO THE TANK AND DON'T RUN AWAY WITH IT. Not only is it fucking goddamn annoying chasing after you but it also makes it harder for the tank to pull it off you if you keep PULLING IT OUT OF RANGE OF THEIR ATTACKS.

Ver archivo adjunto 1873450
As a mediocre healer, I'm getting mixed signals here. Are we suppose to do Cure -> Cure 2 because I've seen people say Cure does too little damage later to be practical.
 
As a mediocre healer, I'm getting mixed signals here. Are we suppose to do Cure -> Cure 2 because I've seen people say Cure does too little damage later to be practical.
Cure 2 if you need quick healing back up (for a tankbuster or something)
Cure 1 and freecure procs if you're only healing autoattack damage (unless the tank is geared like garbage)
Either one is fine in normal content, though
 
Which is a shame because Recitation > Adlo on MT > Deployment Tactics is one of the most satisfying things in any game that's ruined by the one or two dps who wandered out of range.
For AST, I personally prefer nocturnal sect, because I like SCH as well but I can see why people forget it exists since they use diurnal the large majority of the time while leveling but if someone's not switching in savages or extremes, then yeah they're dumb.
Why would you recitation Adlo now? The crit shield you get are not spread by Deployment Tactics. SEnix made sure to kill that one the moment they put Recitation in.

Recitation Excogitation is legit though. Big dick heal that doesn't even need me to pay attention.
 
Why would you recitation Adlo now? The crit shield you get are not spread by Deployment Tactics. SEnix made sure to kill that one the moment they put Recitation in.

Recitation Excogitation is legit though. Big dick heal that doesn't even need me to pay attention.
The catalyze doesn't spread but the main shield does, which is as good as you can make it because of Recitation.
 
Time for todays segment of "Why are X shit?" DPS version starring me and how pissed off they make me.

-Why are dancers the worse at this game than any other job? I've seen more dancers eat it than every other job combined in my 9 years of playing this fucking game and THEY HAVE A FUCKING DODGE BUTTON and are the literal easiest job to play.

-Dancers, you have a literal fucking dodge button, why do I see you running across the arena like a retard?

-"Oh boy!" Says the idiot black mage. "The tank is doing a large pull. Welp, time to roll up my sleeves and cast Fire 4 on a single mob out of the 15 currently fighting the tank! Later on the boss I'll just stick to using ice spells because I'm an ice mage hurr durrrr"

-Any casters who don't utilize their aoe spells during big pulls are fucking dumber than a mentally retarded sloth. Any dps who don't utilize their aoe attacks on large pulls are dumber than a mentally retarded sloth.

-Somehow despite being the most geared dps in the party, the dancers partner with lesser geared dps who end up dying most of the time. It's called the inspect option, you dumb cunts.

-If you're dying a lot and your dps is about the strength of a wet piece of paper and your party members are giving you suggestions on how to improve, how about you listen to them instead of being a passive aggressive twat?

-Red mages, ya'll need to stop with the fucking trigger finger limit breaks. It's blinding and on top of that, you force the entire alliance to sit there and watch as their screen is completely obscured in red effects. They are bright as fuck and guess what else, THEY HIDE AOE MARKERS ON THE FLOOR SO PEOPLE CAN'T TELL WHERE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO MOVE TO AVOID IT. Pick your times better, fuck's sake.

-Melee, if you're the only melee in the party and limit break is available, fucking use it. It's more damage if you use a single target limit break than letting the goddamn red mage use it for the upteenth time. Learn to stop tunneling.

-This isn't really dps related but anyone who greets the start of dungeons and or raids with "Meowdy" needs to light themselves on fire as penance for being awful. In fact all miqo'te need to light themselves on fire. Do it and erase yourselves from existence.

-Dps who use rp macros and enter dungeons or raids in rp need to be quarantined to their own little slice of hell.

-Ranged dps...if you're in a dungeon and you see a dragoon, STAY FUCKING CLOSE TO THEM will you? You can't benefit from the dps increase from eye if you're all the fuck way on the other side of the arena. And if that's the case, they might as well give it to the tank because at least the tank will always be in range.

1611762416482.png
 
-This isn't really dps related but anyone who greets the start of dungeons and or raids with "Meowdy" needs to light themselves on fire as penance for being awful. In fact all miqo'te need to light themselves on fire. Do it and erase yourselves from existence.
*purrs at you* *wraps self in blanket nest* *meow!* *owo* *cuddles with (name)* *(name) wiggles excitedly* *Non-stop. Fucking. Cheer. Spamming.* *Kneads (name)* *Pets*

Urggghhh...
 
Time for todays segment of "Why are X shit?" DPS version starring me and how pissed off they make me.

-Why are dancers the worse at this game than any other job? I've seen more dancers eat it than every other job combined in my 9 years of playing this fucking game and THEY HAVE A FUCKING DODGE BUTTON and are the literal easiest job to play.

-Dancers, you have a literal fucking dodge button, why do I see you running across the arena like a retard?

-"Oh boy!" Says the idiot black mage. "The tank is doing a large pull. Welp, time to roll up my sleeves and cast Fire 4 on a single mob out of the 15 currently fighting the tank! Later on the boss I'll just stick to using ice spells because I'm an ice mage hurr durrrr"

-Any casters who don't utilize their aoe spells during big pulls are fucking dumber than a mentally retarded sloth. Any dps who don't utilize their aoe attacks on large pulls are dumber than a mentally retarded sloth.

-Somehow despite being the most geared dps in the party, the dancers partner with lesser geared dps who end up dying most of the time. It's called the inspect option, you dumb cunts.

-If you're dying a lot and your dps is about the strength of a wet piece of paper and your party members are giving you suggestions on how to improve, how about you listen to them instead of being a passive aggressive twat?

-Red mages, ya'll need to stop with the fucking trigger finger limit breaks. It's blinding and on top of that, you force the entire alliance to sit there and watch as their screen is completely obscured in red effects. They are bright as fuck and guess what else, THEY HIDE AOE MARKERS ON THE FLOOR SO PEOPLE CAN'T TELL WHERE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO MOVE TO AVOID IT. Pick your times better, fuck's sake.

-Melee, if you're the only melee in the party and limit break is available, fucking use it. It's more damage if you use a single target limit break than letting the goddamn red mage use it for the upteenth time. Learn to stop tunneling.

-This isn't really dps related but anyone who greets the start of dungeons and or raids with "Meowdy" needs to light themselves on fire as penance for being awful. In fact all miqo'te need to light themselves on fire. Do it and erase yourselves from existence.

-Dps who use rp macros and enter dungeons or raids in rp need to be quarantined to their own little slice of hell.

-Ranged dps...if you're in a dungeon and you see a dragoon, STAY FUCKING CLOSE TO THEM will you? You can't benefit from the dps increase from eye if you're all the fuck way on the other side of the arena. And if that's the case, they might as well give it to the tank because at least the tank will always be in range.

Ver archivo adjunto 1875306
I'm suprised you didn't mention the overwhelming amount of RDMs that either don't use their raise or just backflip off the edge.

You know I’m genuinely curious, has there ever been a FFXIV player who has opened an OnlyFans for their character?
Probably if you look hard enough.
 
You know I’m genuinely curious, has there ever been a FFXIV player who has opened an OnlyFans for their character?
Shhhh, don't give the ERPers ideas; the player base is thirsty enough to buy into it. Plus I think it's a legal quagmire waiting to happen.
 
You know I’m genuinely curious, has there ever been a FFXIV player who has opened an OnlyFans for their character?
I'm pretty sure there is. If they can do some degenrate shit in the game, than OnlyFans is probably nothing.

Don't get me started on the degenerate modders. I've seen some fucking cringe shit as I am sure you guys have. Thank God we're not forced to see people's horrible mods on their characters.

Someone once showed me that they installed a mod for really cringe, sex poses for gpose and an option to make the characters nude. Naturally, they then proceeded to send me several screen shots of them having lesbian sex with my fc mate's character, a fem highlander.

I can see and understand why this gross shit is a touchy subject for Yoshi. You know it irks him to see a game he and his team work so hard on be twisted for purposes like that rather than what he intended but he also knows that in NA, most people who play the game are degenerates and those degenerates pay a monthly sub to be degenerates in the game. He implements things for the people who want to do genuine roleplay, but man, it gets overshadows so much by the literal worst parts of the game's community.

I'm suprised you didn't mention the overwhelming amount of RDMs that either don't use their raise or just backflip off the edge.
Surprisingly, it happens less for me. If anything, I see more Samurai launch themselves off the edge.
 
Any dps who don't utilize their aoe attacks on large pulls are dumber than a mentally retarded sloth.
Unless you're a Monk. Because everyone knows Monks don't have any AoE whatsoever.

No joke, back in mid 2.x, friend and I were doing dungeons with him on Monk and we had a healer just stop healing me and bitch about me doing big pulls after about two of them solely because we had a Monk in our party because "Monks can only do single target." Monk piped up and attested that he had AoEs he could do, and the healer threw an even bigger fit saying, and I quote, that they're "not going to party with a bunch of liars and abusers" and straight up left the dungeon right then and there. And I have never forgotten that for all the years I've played since then.

Moral of the story is: The next time you see a melee DPS refusing to use their AoE, just remember that melee DPS aren't capable of AoE and that you're just being a liar and abuser for thinking otherwise. 🙃
 
I'm pretty sure there is. If they can do some degenrate shit in the game, than OnlyFans is probably nothing.

Don't get me started on the degenerate modders. I've seen some fucking cringe shit as I am sure you guys have. Thank God we're not forced to see people's horrible mods on their characters.

Someone once showed me that they installed a mod for really cringe, sex poses for gpose and an option to make the characters nude. Naturally, they then proceeded to send me several screen shots of them having lesbian sex with my fc mate's character, a fem highlander.

I can see and understand why this gross shit is a touchy subject for Yoshi. You know it irks him to see a game he and his team work so hard on be twisted for purposes like that rather than what he intended but he also knows that in NA, most people who play the game are degenerates and those degenerates pay a monthly sub to be degenerates in the game. He implements things for the people who want to do genuine roleplay, but man, it gets overshadows so much by the literal worst parts of the game's community.


Surprisingly, it happens less for me. If anything, I see more Samurai launch themselves off the edge.
Holy shit there is
1611768474054.png
 
Unless you're a Monk. Because everyone knows Monks don't have any AoE whatsoever.

No joke, back in mid 2.x, friend and I were doing dungeons with him on Monk and we had a healer just stop healing me and bitch about me doing big pulls after about two of them solely because we had a Monk in our party because "Monks can only do single target." Monk piped up and attested that he had AoEs he could do, and the healer threw an even bigger fit saying, and I quote, that they're "not going to party with a bunch of liars and abusers" and straight up left the dungeon right then and there. And I have never forgotten that for all the years I've played since then.

Moral of the story is: The next time you see a melee DPS refusing to use their AoE, just remember that melee DPS aren't capable of AoE and that you're just being a liar and abuser for thinking otherwise. 🙃
I'm a Monk main and it's absolutely satisfying watching packs of mobs melt to my aoes. Every single melee job have good aoe options. All jobs in general. Even scholars, bless their hearts, have that aoe that takes like 1 quarter of their mp bar to cast.
Holy shit there is
That makes me sad on a fundamentally atomic level.
 
Última edición:
I want to gripe about the game changing the dungeon boss music for Amaurot. You can keep it the same butt rock in the others but in Amaurot it fucks with the atmosphere
Yeah I feel like, as generic the mini-boss music was in 5.0, it suited the atmosphere really well. Now it's just Insatiable-lite and it's getting grating.
 
Atrás
Top Abajo