Feeling stuck and seeking advice.

[Cascade]

I can't say anything about college and work, but for hobbies I can recommend hiking.

1) Good for physical and mental health, helps reset your brain (especially considering >the constant stress and noise in my home life)
2) No obvious perfectionist triggers
3) Subjective, but for me it's less exhausting than running/gym and brings more joy

Ideally hike with a small group of friends you trust, especially if someone is more experienced, but worst case scenario you can find a local hiking group; I wouldn't advise doing it alone in the initial stages, unless it's a one day easy route.

 

[Irregardless]

Drop out. If you don't have a specific career goal in mind just nut up and drop out of school. College is already not worth the price even if you do get a job. Just drop out and start working somewhere like a warehouse or even look at a temporary labor service like Express Pro to get in at a factory or do some day labor for easy cash while getting off your ass and moving around.

Number 1 advice is drop the fuck out though. Like today. It's not worth going to school even if you have a goal, going to college for no reason is total lunacy.

If you ever get a real goal in life that requires college you can just go back later. Colleges will take anyone, they see you as an ATM.

This is retarded ass way of giving advice and you should not listen to the "Just work a trade" crowd. Now let me say, yes, there are a lot of degrees that have terrible ROI and are essentially worthless. The majority of liberal arts degrees, degrees that are too specific or are in small fields, the majority of people should stay away from these degrees unless they either have an in, or are planning to go for a post grad where the bachelors doesn't matter. Remember, the balldo lawyer got his bachelors in English or some useless shit like that, but then went back to get his Law degree and if he didn't destroy his credibility he would've been just fine.

A lot of degrees are still worth it simply due to the fact that it's a degree. You need to take some time and figure out what you want to do, the requirements that are needed, and pivot into it. You don't need to go into the fuckin trades, or IT, or some other cookie cutter shit, there are jobs out there that require a degree, that no amount of "certifications" are going to get you. Biologist, Chemist, Historian, Accountant, etc. These might not interest most people, but they're interesting to somebody, and somebody has gotta do them, so don't think that there are only like 10 paths to take. Just make sure that what you do has an achievable outcome that will pay your bills.

 

[56 others]

And perfectionism stuns me so much

Sheer force of will, you have to make yourself do things. Dont think about all the steps to do something, just start doing it.

Try cooking. Easy to do, not really expensive, doesnt take a lot of time, and you get instant gratification at the end when you eat. Pick something you've missed eating and find a recipe for it, shop around for a simple versions.

Most important part of cooking, just get your ass to the grocery store.

Try an italian pasta dish, at worst you'll make something bland.

 

[TotallyNotMeIswea]

...that depends. what do you enjoy?
Let me rephrase, say you would win the lottery today and never had to work another day in your life, what would you do? (after you went on a huge spending spree I mean)

Like think about what you like, what makes you happy? If it is remotely bearable you should finish at least some degree, trust me. you`ll regret it if you don`t.
Take a few days off if need be. Calm down. I promise you it`s all gonna work out, one way or another.

And I know, I always get hate for saying this, but fact is: Being happy is a choice. Maybe start there. The rest is gonna fall into place soon enough.

 

[oldTireWater]

Take your pick:

A) Drop out and join the Army. Seriously. Either you hate it and you have the time to figure out what you want to do, or you like it and your problem is solved. Or you die, but the odds of that are very low. Any other job that requires a long binding commitment will achieve the same effect.

B) Devote yourself to money. You don't need to feel fulfilled if you're getting paid enough.

C) Exercise. Go all Forrest Gump.

D) Realize you're not special, that you don't deserve to have a purpose, and join the ranks of the rest of us.

 

[David Brown]

You don't need to go into the fuckin trades, or IT, or some other cookie cutter shit, there are jobs out there that require a degree, that no amount of "certifications" are going to get you. Biologist, Chemist, Historian, Accountant, etc. These might not interest most people, but they're interesting to somebody, and somebody has gotta do them, so don't think that there are only like 10 paths to take. Just make sure that what you do has an achievable outcome that will pay your bills.

OP is a miserable sad sack asking a gossip forum for life advice. Think about the type of person that does that. He doesn't even have one tenth of the agency required to succeed in a low paying fields like chemistry or biology (LOL) without a PhD and there's not a chance he could thrive in the rigors of a PhD program. Get real. I'm trying to give real practical advice that worked for me. I am literally a college dropout who joined a trade apprenticeship program and it transformed my life and raised me up like Lazarus. The difference between myself and the many other people who succeeded alongside me, and OP, is that OP is obviously very low agency. I'm trying to save him money in his life by giving the correct advice that he should stop throwing money into the fire pit of modern "education" and just bust his ass doing something physical so he can feel some satisfaction in his life for once. If there's anything resembling a will to power still smouldering in his guts he might actually make something of himself. If not, I will at least have saved him some money and the boredom and stress of failing in school.

 

[baws man jack]

Easy.

You need to figure out if you even want to work in the field you're studying for. If not drop out and start working or go to trade school. Go meet people. Life not so bad.

Or booze. Simple as.

 

[Just A Butt]

Having no hobbies only worsens this issue since I have zero outlet. And perfectionism stuns me so much that I’ve only ever been dreaming about doing fun stuff but never really doing it.

You might be tarded

 

[AFAB Transwoman]

I want to thank everyone who replied so far. Yes, even the ones who are unnecessarily aggressive.

There is a lot of good advice offered here and I hope to reply individually! But I’ve been considering many of the stuff said here and I do appreciate this.

By the way, I don’t know what this changes but I feel the need to clarify that I am an actual woman. Not trans and not a man.

 

[godsmostcringepooner]

try to take less courses and spend more time on self discovery. it will be less hard if you know what you want to be

 

[retard strength II]

Have you been focused more on creative or physical hobbies? Are they frustrating you because you aren't immediately good at them, or have you only gotten to "I want to try X but Y stops me"?

 

[Claude Sigma]

God am I glad I never went to college, this sounds like such a scam if you're not aiming for a career that requires a college degree, like law or medicine.
What's the point if you don't even know what you're aiming for? Getting a very expensive paper in liberal arts, literature, or history? Come on now.

Just get a job out of highschool, and IF you have a vocation, an idea of something you want to do, then go study for it.
If you're already in college, then it depends how much you sunk the cost already. If you're near the end, finish it, if not, might be worth looking for a job and dropping college if you find something good.

 

[Cougar Pump]

The couple of years it took me to complete my undergraduate degree sucked. Absolutely fucking sucked. Had a very bad social network, terrible mental health, shit living situation, and I was entirely unsure about the field ahead of me once I had the degree.

But from then until today, many years after, I don't regret choosing to stay with it to completion. I wish the situation had been better, but it wasn't, and I slogged through it to ensure the thing at the end that I had committed to was seen through to the finish. I recall cultivating a kind of bloody minded spite about it in the final year, a kind of 'fuck you, I'm getting this fucking degree no matter what', and that helped motivate me to finish.

I know lots of people who dropped out and I also know that it's extremely common to get so far into a course and then be having very strong second thoughts. You can always rationalize justifications to stop, but ultimately if you walk away from finishing it realizes the loss at that point. Versus even if you limp pathetically over the finish line and barely squeeze it out, you realize the achievement at that point in an irreversible fashion.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

"get comfortable with being uncomfortable"

This is good, and something I am trying to emphasize to my kids, one in particular. But it is great for anyone, for many reasons.

you have no struggle in your life to challenge you so

Was just talking to one of my kids about this. Basic struggle, challenge, fear, can be elevating. Even basic shit like "gotta pay rent this summer so that means I'm working 3 minimum wage jobs, pita but nbd.". Sometimes a good thing is just to put yourself out there. Every decision is not your last; every embarrassment is not the end of you; every failure does not doom you. College is a time you can fuck up in certain ways and it won't necessarily follow you forever. Any by fuck up I mean things like taking a job and quitting it when you find a much better one or similar perceived imperfections; just get a job and don't spend eons agonizing over finding the most perfect one; same applies to having fun or whatever. A manager I once had, otherwise awful, was fond of saying, "don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.". Still think she was shite, but those words are gold.

 

[1440p Curved Monitor]

I also want to mention that "perfection" in regards to human achievements is not objective, it's subjective. What you might view as perfect, the artist might view as total shit because of a miniscule flaw. It takes literally years to build up mastery in a craft.
That's why it's better to just do things and compare yourself to how you were a week/fortnight/month ago instead of worrying about where you will be in comparison to others when you start. Dont think "oh I have done all of this work and effort and everyone is so far ahead of me", think "I have made so much progress over the past year, look at how much I've grown". This is why I recommend a journal because it would become a physical record of your growth.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Having no hobbies only worsens this issue since I have zero outlet. And perfectionism stuns me so much that I’ve only ever been dreaming about doing fun stuff but never really doing it.

Think of perfectionism as a goal, not something you're going to achieve overnight instantly. Just choose something you can devote some free time to as a breather from school work, then just do whatever that thing is. Your first result is likely going to be at best mediocre, but that's the good thing - it means you recognize you have flaws, and the next go around you'll work on improving those flaws. And then the process keeps repeating until you get the kind of results you've been dreaming about.

I also would strongly suggest, if you have the capability, to go on a trip. Go somewhere you've always wanted to visit and see, regardless if it's somewhere fairly distant or just driving around and never being more than an hour from your house. I've had the opportunity to do things both ways in the past several months and they are great for really escaping the normal daily grind. Especially the latter where you're essentially just in your greater local area, because you might discover things you never even knew were there, or have unique unexpected and personal experiences.

 

[behavioral swamp thang]

Work and live at a ski resort. Take a hard right turn. They often provide cheap housing options. Lots of young people, surrounded by happy people. Maybe learn to ski or snowboard, or just enjoy the village.

 

[Otterly]

I don’t even know what degree I am working towards anyway

Sorry can you clarify this for me? Are you speaking literally? Here in the Uk, you enrol in a degree with a title, like ‘maths’ or ‘chemistry.’ You know exactly what you’re getting, can see the module titles. Do you mean that you don’t know what degree you’re doing literally? Can you explain this?

Other questions:
How far along in it are you
How long do you have to go before you graduate?
What’s your degree in ? Is it useful?
What’s the employment market like for that degree?
Do you find it easy or very hard? As in, CAN you finish?

Don’t drop out. College life can be a bit weird, especially if you’re not that outgoing. If you’re finding the course difficult that can stress you. If you’ve been stuck indoors study that can stress you.

A few people have said ask where you want to end up - and work backwards. Don’t quit, having any degree is better than none for SOME things.
The only reason I’d quit is if the degree itself was utterly useless and I’d be in huge debt.

 

[NoReturn]

By the way, I don’t know what this changes but I feel the need to clarify that I am an actual woman. Not trans and not a man.

Check your diet and exercise and remember a lot of the advice you see online for fitness is either for men, or it assumes you want to be an onlyfans fitfluencer. Plenty of women to ask around here, though.

 

[Flatline]

Having no hobbies

We know that's not true. Stop watching anime.