Feeling stuck and seeking advice.

[AFAB Transwoman]

I have no idea what I should do or how to move forward.

I have been throwing myself entirely into college and I’ve come to the point where I don’t care for it anymore— I don’t even know what degree I am working towards anyway. It’s made me so tired and all it does is exacerbates the seemingly constant stress and noise in my home life.

Having no hobbies only worsens this issue since I have zero outlet. And perfectionism stuns me so much that I’ve only ever been dreaming about doing fun stuff but never really doing it.

I have no idea what to do, where to look or who to turn to. Whenever I ask questions, no one really seems to have an answer so I’m absolutely lost. Maybe there’s something I’m overlooking but I want to start changing already.

 

[Dollar Store Crack Whore]

Whittle a flute and play a tune on it. Boom, two hobbies.

 

[Unarmed Gunman]

Always start with the end in mind, and work backwards.

So for instance, where do you hope to see yourself in 10 years? Once you've identified that, you have to create the goals needed to get there. Goals should always follow the SAM format - Specific, Achievable, Measurable.

Once the SAM goals are identified, put a timeline to it and get to work.

 

[David Brown]

Drop out. If you don't have a specific career goal in mind just nut up and drop out of school. College is already not worth the price even if you do get a job. Just drop out and start working somewhere like a warehouse or even look at a temporary labor service like Express Pro to get in at a factory or do some day labor for easy cash while getting off your ass and moving around.

Number 1 advice is drop the fuck out though. Like today. It's not worth going to school even if you have a goal, going to college for no reason is total lunacy.

If you ever get a real goal in life that requires college you can just go back later. Colleges will take anyone, they see you as an ATM.

 

[rrtyui]

What is your biological sex? And are you really trans? No transphobia when I say this, but being trans as a biological male is very hard. You need to get your T up if you want to be happy and effective, especially as a young man.

 

[Astro Loafo]

Sounds like you just need to get your life in order. Like did you go to school just because people told you to?

 

[Unnecessary Surgery Land]

Just don't fall into the debt hell that is 'professional student' and you'll be fine
Dropping out is fine, especially if you're not going into a hard-science field or a specific certification.

I think every nerd in their late teens-twenties has this sort of crisis so don't feel too bad.

 

[urr13 account]

Depending on how deep you are into a degree might be worth finishing it if you only need a few more credits or something, Many jobs still filter out resumes that don't have at least a BA, even if you have the skills for the job otherwise, so if you're more than half-way through I'd say finish it even if its something stupid like English or "Communications".

Do you have any interests or skills? If you have any kind of skillset that has value you could try freelancing, (offer your service in facebook groups or try to start on upwork or fiverr or something) by being forced to get a lot of small projects done in a short-turn around time it might help you get past perfectionism and help you get better at whatever it is you do.

Getting a part-time job, or joining a club at your school could be a way for you to make friends.

And if you are a literal tranny you could probably meet other trannies on assorted subreddits and discords, its not something id do myself but if you're already brain broken to the point of thinking you're a different sex than the one you were born as I don't think you have much to lose and you probably don't have to be worried about being groomed anymore than you already have been and maybe one of the other trans people will invite you to go bowling or something and then before you know it you're really into bowling and now you've got a hobby.

 

[Shig O'nella]

You've gone stale, that's all. Like flat beer. No life or motivational crisis here, you just need a couple weeks off and a complete change of pace and scenery.

Go on a road trip. No agonising about where to go, just drive. (Or if you can't drive, bus station and grab the first long haul bus that's leaving).

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I have been throwing myself entirely into college and I’ve come to the point where I don’t care for it anymore— I don’t even know what degree I am working towards anyway. It’s made me so tired and all it does is exacerbates the seemingly constant stress and noise in my home life.

School's over for the year, or, depending on your school's schedule, soon to be. Just put your head down and do your best for the rest of the term. Hang on for now and shove the doubts aside until school is done.

Then take a couple of days to decompress and then
- think about your major
- think about careers you might want
- think about the life you want
- meet with an academic counselor to get on a path
- consider finding a therapist if that is available to you, to help with burnout and anything (like perfectionism or lack of outlets or any other possible things going on)

I'm 100% anti- drop out. Unless you have the ability right now to make a good living/life, you need to finish school.

Having no hobbies only worsens this issue since I have zero outlet.

Why do you have no hobbies?

Do you exercise?

And perfectionism stuns me so much that I’ve only ever been dreaming about doing fun stuff but never really doing it.

This is something you can change. Maybe find one thing that might be mildly fun (even if it's not jetting off to Bora Bora or climbing Everest - just mildly interesting and accessible to you) and go do it even if you think you'll suck, you'll be weird and alone, whatever. If it's a 10-minute walk, it's something. Push yourself to do things that cause trepidation (provided it doesn't cause some serious event). Then take a moment to congratulate yourself and feel good and feel powerful. And then keep pushing yourself to do another thing, and another.

 

[Unnecessary Surgery Land]

You've gone stale, that's all. Like flat beer. No life or motivational crisis here, you just need a couple weeks off and a complete change of pace and scenery.

Go on a road trip. No agonising about where to go, just drive. (Or if you can't drive, bus station and grab the first long haul bus that's leaving).

God, in my 20s solo road trips CURED all my stagnation issues. You feel like you can conquer anything when you go on a road trip.
Do this, OP

 

[Sweetie Kitty]

Pick up a hobby that requires you to sit down and develop patience and discipline. Crocheting is becoming extremely popular among college age women because it’s inexpensive to get started with and there’s a gorillion free tutorials on YouTube that are high quality. It’s time consuming but you can at least say you’ve developed a skill and can see the progress being made before your very eyes. Plus, you can make your own cute shit like plush toys, cardigans, blankets, etc. Buy some cheap ergonomic hooks and yarn off amazon and start with granny squares or small amigarumi.

 

[KittyGremlin]

Having no hobbies only worsens this issue since I have zero outlet. And perfectionism stuns me so much that I’ve only ever been dreaming about doing fun stuff but never really doing it.

I have no idea what to do, where to look or who to turn to. Whenever I ask questions, no one really seems to have an answer so I’m absolutely lost. Maybe there’s something I’m overlooking but I want to start changing already.

What hobbies do you want to try? I think you could start by posting on a related thread, there's many of them by other Kiwis on a variety of hobbies.

I'm sure many would help out. Personally I've been doing some fitness and also learning to weld. It really does help with your emotional problems, but you have to try a bunch of things to see what you like.

 

[1440p Curved Monitor]

Having no hobbies only worsens this issue since I have zero outlet. And perfectionism stuns me so much that I’ve only ever been dreaming about doing fun stuff but never really doing it

I was and still kinda am in the same position as you. Still dealing with my anxiety that is made worse by my ADHD. The best piece of advice I can give you, and anyone with anxiety, is "get comfortable with being uncomfortable". The more you push yourself gently everyday, you will make large progress in the long run.
I also recommend getting a daily journal. You don't even have to write a lot: do one sentence or one picture a day. I find that when every day feels meaningful, time doesn't seem to slip right out of my fingers.

Pick up a hobby that requires you to sit down and develop patience and discipline. Crocheting is becoming extremely popular among college age women because it’s inexpensive to get started with and there’s a gorillion free tutorials on YouTube that are high quality. It’s time consuming but you can at least say you’ve developed a skill and can see the progress being made before your very eyes. Plus, you can make your own cute shit like plush toys, cardigans, blankets, etc. Buy some cheap ergonomic hooks and yarn off amazon and start with granny squares or small amigarumi.

Crochet is really fantastic. I would do it more if it didn't make my fingers feel so weak

 

[Teghern]

I have no idea what to do, where to look or who to turn to. Whenever I ask questions, no one really seems to have an answer so I’m absolutely lost. Maybe there’s something I’m overlooking but I want to start changing already.

Assuming there's no hidden trauma you're just not saying here it appears you have no struggle in your life to challenge you so your mind is creating these dragons for you to fight.
I say finish your education even if it for applied mickey mouse studies, better than nothing, after that nool has it right when says lost fatherless bastard/ettes should get a bottom tier wagie job to build up your social immune system. The more time you spend actually seeing how other people deal with the issues that plague them even from a distance will offer strong perspective on your own problems.
Regardless it seems you lack guidance, this is fine you be your own rudder, just remember the only way you can do that is by staying in the water. Nothing more pathetically pitiable than those who retreat from the world moping all day when they could be robbing grocery stores or scaring farm animals.

 

[Mayhem]

Are you working an actual job right now? If you’re not enjoying college and you don‘t find it useful to meet your goals, it‘s probably not worth completing your degree right now. You can take a leave of absence (it’s usually a simple form you have to fill out), then, if you’re not already working, get a job. You can see who is hiring locally or look for a temp agency. Your college probably has a career office or center that can help you with resume writing and perhaps with making a LinkedIn page. You can also look into workforce development programs where you can get licensed to do technical jobs if you’re into that. If you need to stay in school - for instance, if your parents are requiring it - you can still go to your college’s career office and see if there are any internships available. All of these experiences can help you see what the workplace is like and what skills you may want to develop.

 

[Higgs Bonbon]

I think you should kill a goose with your bare hands, pluck and gut it, and cook it on a bonfire of old 2x4s. Eat the entire thing.

 

[Testacles Maximus]

Just shitpost with us, you’ll feel better.

 

[Owen Ferguson]

Drop out. If you don't have a specific career goal in mind just nut up and drop out of school. College is already not worth the price even if you do get a job. Just drop out and start working somewhere like a warehouse or even look at a temporary labor service like Express Pro to get in at a factory or do some day labor for easy cash while getting off your ass and moving around.

Number 1 advice is drop the fuck out though. Like today. It's not worth going to school even if you have a goal, going to college for no reason is total lunacy.

If you ever get a real goal in life that requires college you can just go back later. Colleges will take anyone, they see you as an ATM.

I disagree. Even if they don't get a job in their field of study, that piece of paper can open doors for you. You can't even drive the Weinermobile without having a degree and the odds of circling back to finish school aren't high for someone that leaves. Complacency is a bitch, likely why you're suggesting warehousing despite the coming automation.
But they should start doing the very bare minimum to pass. There's no benefit to trying if you're just seeking a piece of paper to show corporate you attended (((higher education)))

 

[YHWH's Strongest Soldier]

Do not drop out. You will waste the credits you earned since they might have an "expiry date" depending on your country and university. With the limited information that you gave, I can only give limited advice:

1. If you have not already, talk with your study advisor. They deal with many cases like yours and they are paid to get you through these issues well enough to at least get the degree. If they're useless, fuck them. Find a professor you trust or at least like a bit and ask them for advice. They went through university too and most likely did a PhD which is more soul-crushing than any bachelor's or master's program.
2. Focus on setting smaller goals and stop worrying about your future career and how your education connects with it. Make sure to pass your current courses first and once that is certain, allot some time to attending career events around your university. They are usually organized by student associations, your study program and the university's career support center. When attending these events, just stay friendly and chat with the recruiters about how your educational background could potentially connect with their organization. Do not go there expecting to receive a job. You are there to find out what kind of job you want and can get.
3. Do fun stuff and funnel your perfectionism towards it. Remember that the two most important things you get from your university are the degree and your network. It does not matter what degree it actually is and the network is built by doing fun stuff with others. Be good at that and become the person people want to be with. Join a sports club for example. Fencing is full of perfectionist assholes in my experience and they are very fun. Most importantly, avoid sitting in your room/dorm. If you need to study, go to the library or any suitable place on your campus. If you want to socialize, do not open Kiwi Farms. Look at a bulletin board or wherever students advertise events and pick one at random.

Hope this helps and I have to warn you against extending your studies by taking a gap year or a temporary absence. Once you take a break from studies to work or travel, the chances of you ever finishing the degree fall dramatically. Every single of my peers who took a break either never finished their studies or had a delay of more than two years.