Facebook Update 15/05

[Yukon Cornelius]

That said... I wonder if Chris wants these gifts badly enough.

$10 Gift Card = video

$25 Gift Card = New Sonichu comic, 10 page minimum

Lego set = video, not less than five minutes, of Chris talking about his hooker, his mom, Rob Bell, Snyder, or any other matter of significance

ChurchOfGodBear, you sly Fox.

 

[The Mackers]

My first and most TRUE and HONEST reaction is this: Fuck you, Chris. I'm feeling guilty about stopping for lunch some days because I want to make sure my family has sufficient grocery money for the next week, and you're expecting me to buy you top-shelf Legos? Shit, some of those sets could pay my utility bills for two months and that's why I don't buy them for myself!!

That said... I wonder if Chris wants these gifts badly enough.

$10 Gift Card = video

$25 Gift Card = New Sonichu comic, 10 page minimum

Lego set = video, not less than five minutes, of Chris talking about his hooker, his mom, Rob Bell, Snyder, or any other matter of significance

Now that's something I can get behind. Wasn't that long ago that the forums raised 1000 dollars for nothing in return, what would be donated to get something everybody wants

 

[Observers]

My first and most TRUE and HONEST reaction is this: Fuck you, Chris. I'm feeling guilty about stopping for lunch some days because I want to make sure my family has sufficient grocery money for the next week, and you're expecting me to buy you top-shelf Legos? Shit, some of those sets could pay my utility bills for two months and that's why I don't buy them for myself!!

That said... I wonder if Chris wants these gifts badly enough.

$10 Gift Card = video

$25 Gift Card = New Sonichu comic, 10 page minimum

Lego set = video, not less than five minutes, of Chris talking about his hooker, his mom, Rob Bell, Snyder, or any other matter of significance

I think the idea of working for money/goods is a concept foreign to Chris that may confuse or anger him.

But I think your idea is insidiously awesome. Maybe it would teach him the value of a dollar.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

Is it possible to virtually design and then order a custom Lego set? If so we should put together a 14 BLC lego set and send it to Chris, because that's the only way that place is ever getting rebuilt.

plus, I think designing it would be a ridiculous amount of fun for everyone involved.

There's already a "Barb" minifig:

Spoiler

 

[milkshark]

@Mackers: I don't think Chris could use that little effectively with what he "knows" about money. So not giving it to him.

I hope someone helps him, or he tries to help himself. But once again I fear that it will never happen.

Don't buy Chris anything. He's working you, and if you fall for it that makes him smarter than you are. You're smarter than Chris, don't concede to his guilt trip for playthings.

 

[Kosher Dill]

That said... I wonder if Chris wants these gifts badly enough.

Are you kidding? He didn't even want sex with Jackie badly enough to do that stuff. And I think he's slowly learned not to trust anyone who promises him rewards. You'd have to give him the loot first, and then naturally he'd stiff you.

 

[CWCissey]

CWCisseyCharming Man
In retrospect I say no, but that's mostly because of Barb's poisonous nature on Chris as well as his general unpleasantness.

I also don't think his gratitude to this forum was genuine, like he was being polite out of necessity, but I will admit it is a step in the right direction, even if it is extremely tentative.

I am of the opinion that this fire could have been easily prevented though and because of Barb's selfish, manipulative ways, the Chandlers are now boned, and as this is a crisis of their own doing they should not be entitled to 'rewards for stupidity'. I also fear that Chris is going to start expecting this sort of thing after every tragedy and start giving it the big I am which will just lead to further degradation and humiliation, as well as the obvious depression.

However if people WANT to give Chris some help, then who the fuck am I to stop them? Hell, I was thinking about supplying some stuff, until the galpals outburst reminded me that Chris is rather like war.

He never changes.
(30 January 2014)

Looks like I was right guys!

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

And when no one sends him hundreds of dollars worth of children's toy sets he will write a profanity laced self-pitying post about how his friends don't care about him and enjoy watching him be miserable and how he needs sex.

Chris being the first person in history to resort to sex because he can't get legos.

 

[Silver]

People talking about how this inspires them to buy toys for kids and whatnot. I'd donate toys and money to the same cause were I not a non-working college student (maybe if some of the stores would ACTUALLY CONSIDER ME) off for summer whose money earned over the course of the year is going $50/month to sponsoring an African girl and were I not going to an event tomorrow to fundraise for beating cancer and making my own over-generous donation. Meh, oh well.

 

[CWCissey]

Chris being the first person in history to resort to sex because he can't get legos.

You don't have to buy LEGO blocks dinner. Or shower for LEGO blocks. Or cut your hair for LEGO blocks. Or live in a clean house for LEGO blocks. Or have a job to support LEGO blocks ( will cover it nicely it seems) You can continue to be Chris for LEGO basically.

 

[Silver]

and I thought people with waifus and body pillows/plushies were bad

 

[Axiom]

Maybe we could make some donations for needy families/kids, specifically ones that provide birthday gifts for kids who would otherwise get none. And do it in Chris's name, so he gets to see actual kids who are actually needy playing with the toys his spoiled selfish ass wanted.

 

[CWCissey]

and I thought people with waifus and body pillows/plushies were bad

Pfft, just wait until 'CWC And The Real Girl' becomes a thing.

And when I say 'CWC And The Real Girl' I mean 'CWC And The LEGO Girl With Some Spare Parts Taken From A Nearby Corpse'

 

[DeadMansHand]

People talking about how this inspires them to buy toys for kids and whatnot. I'd donate toys and money to the same cause were I not a non-working college student (maybe if some of the stores would ACTUALLY CONSIDER ME) off for summer whose money earned over the course of the year is going $50/month to sponsoring an African girl and were I not going to an event tomorrow to fundraise for beating cancer and making my own over-generous donation. Meh, oh well.

You sir, are a heartless, selfish monster for putting the basic needs of those less fortunate than you ahead of Chris's desire for tiny, uncharred blocks of plastic to play with. Shame on you. Shame.

Chris being the first person in history to resort to sex because he can't get legos.

But LEGOS ARE EXPENSIVE!!! And Chris can get sex anywhe.... Oh, wait. Nevermind.

 

[Marvin]

That said... I wonder if Chris wants these gifts badly enough.

$10 Gift Card = video

$25 Gift Card = New Sonichu comic, 10 page minimum

Lego set = video, not less than five minutes, of Chris talking about his hooker, his mom, Rob Bell, Snyder, or any other matter of significance

Haha, oh man, I'm loving this idea.

I wonder if Chris would feel like a hooker at some point, that he's selling his happiness for legos, or if he'd just go and do it completely mindlessly... (It'd be a fight between his entitlement, that we're jerks and should just give him his legos for free, and his strong lego addiction)

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

Haha, oh man, I'm loving this idea.

I wonder if Chris would feel like a hooker at some point, that he's selling his happiness for legos, or if he'd just go and do it completely mindlessly... (It'd be a fight between his entitlement, that we're jerks and should just give him his legos for free, and his strong lego addiction)

As far as I can tell, it's not even trolling. The forum tends to define trolling as "actions designed to upset Chris". This wouldn't be designed to upset him, in fact, it's literally giving him exactly what he wants. In return, he'd have to do some things of his own free will which should not be physically or emotionally distressing. Now granted, actually needing to put forth effort WILL be upsetting to Chris, but that's only because he's Chris and it's not our fault he's a lump.

 

[Marvin]

As far as I can tell, it's not even trolling. The forum tends to define trolling as "actions designed to upset Chris". This wouldn't be designed to upset him, in fact, it's literally giving him exactly what he wants. In return, he'd have to do some things of his own free will which should not be physically or emotionally distressing. Now granted, actually needing to put forth effort WILL be upsetting to Chris, but that's only because he's Chris and it's not our fault he's a lump.

Oh absolutely. Chris was being a shitheel, because he thought he could take advantage of the generosity of others.

But instead, fine, OK Chris, we'll buy you some legos, but it ain't free. (like nothing in life is free, which fatty needs to learn)

 

[DC 740]

Feeding the cow with cash... Sounds kind of depraving.




Eh fuck it it's a good idea.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I still say "content today for goodies tomorrow" is the oldest trick in the book as far as Chris is concerned and he probably wouldn't go for it.
But I do like the idea because I'm curious how Barb would react to him suddenly having a new source of funding that she can't interfere with. (... OR CAN SHE)

 

[DC 740]

I don't think she'd be able to interfere if it were online card codes. Like the ones you can buy from Amazon.

But then the problem lies in that most of the shit Chris would want would need to come from a physical card.