Facebook Update 15/05

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Back in the day I used to help out at the local food pantry. We'd get all sorts of folks come in, the majority of them actually needing food, toiletries, etc. But sometimes, we'd get those assholes that are just going camping for the weekend int their big-ass RVs and literally expect to get free food from us simply because they didn't want to stop and spend $20 at the grocery store. I always thought that those types of people were some of the most disgusting, shallow, reprehensible fuckers on the planet.

Chris however, just made those leeching assholes seem modest in comparison.

He's expecting gifts...? GIFTS?! Whatever the fuck for, Chris, did you not shit yourself for a whole month? Did you manage not to make yourself into a public spectacle of fail for two weeks? Did you manage to go into a public establishment for more than twenty minutes without getting yourself banned? Oh well, Praise JAYSUS, give the boy a prize!

I would normally say "Sorry Chris, no can do," but that would be a lie. I am not sorry for his house burning down. I'm really not. Fuck being borderline A-Log here. I really don't care. This was second chance for the Chandlers- get out of the hoard, re-evaluate their lives, start anew- and OF COURSE what manbaby does is think he now deserves presents for fucking burning down a building!

I just... this isn't autism. This is just straight up being an ugly, unrepentant, narcissistic, selfish shitfucker.

 

[CWCissey]

Looking at the sets Chris requested, I think I see Wayne Manor...

There's certainly some Batman related stuff there, one of the minifigs looked like Poison Ivy.

 

[BatNapalm]

Looking at the sets Chris requested, I think I see Wayne Manor...

There's certainly some Batman related stuff there, one of the minifigs looked like Poison Ivy.

That was an Arkham Asylum set actually. And it'll be all yours for the low low price of $160

 

[TrippinKahlua]

Chris, if I give you $200, will you go have sex with a prostitute again?

I'd never fund you otherwise.

 

[Fuzzy Wuzzy]

I mean, it could be. Several of the items were discontinued (like the Speed Racer sets) and could have been considerably more expensive than their 2008 retail prices (which I used because I didn't feel like looking them up on ebay). Also, a few items were on sale AND I didn't include shipping and handling prices. This was my low-end, conservative estimate.

Discontinued items you say? Looks like our OPL will be raging hard over that.

 

[MY 405]

Not like I'm pointing out anything new here, but he's actually been TAUGHT to beg like this and that this is a truly viable method of reward.

"Say the name on this box, I will buy you this toy."

Well, he sure as shit learned how to say 'Lego'.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I think I've liked more posts in this thread than I have in any other because of how many good posts have been made here.

"Gif freebies! Don't mak... force me into go... hav... having to go shoplifting!"

If he got caught shoplifting, he almost certainly would try to blame the trolls for "forcing" him to do it by not buying him the toys he wants.

Perhaps we should purchase these gifts, cash, and gift cards - all for ourselves. Then we can send Chris pictures of ourselves vastly enjoying them. "Hey, Pikonic! Remember when you, me, Noble Grey Horse, BB, Null, Alec and the rest of the gang got together at Applebees and exchanged our great big Lego gifts before goin' over to Best Buy to pick up some PS4 games? Man, that was a hoot!"

I'm totally down for that. I say it has to take place in C-ville, at one of the many venues from which Chris is banned. Bonus points if we can get the walshing witch bitch manager of the place to take a picture giving the finger so we can mail it to Chris.

"need/want"

Have I ever told you how much I admire your parsimonious nature?

But yeah, really, Chris, get some fucking tact. At least ask for more gift cards, so people can at least tell themselves you're spending their money on something good. You're coming up and saying "boo hoo, my house burned down, give me some legos." Really? Fucking really? Nothing else, at all in the world, you could spend your time begging for? Jesus fucking christ.

No shit.

I just... this isn't autism. This is just straight up being an ugly, unrepentant, narcissistic, selfish shitfucker.

No fucking shit. Goddamn, Chris. GODDAMN.

Hey everybody, remember that $700 lego purchase he made a little while back? If anyone here thinks that was an exceptional occurrence, you're wrong. It's pretty consistent behavior. He doesn't want you to buy him legos, he wants you to buy him more legos than he can buy for himself already.

 

[BatNapalm]

Discontinued items you say? Looks like our OPL will be raging hard over that.

Some of the stuff he listed isn't even out yet.

 

[MY 405]

Chris, if I give you $200, will you go have sex with a prostitute again?

I'd never fund you otherwise.

More like: "Here's $200, Chris. You can spend it for china or Lego -- which is it gonna be?"

 

[Artard]

Chris, if I give you $200, will you go have sex with a prostitute again?

I'd never fund you otherwise.

I'd give him $200 bucks to film it and scream out THIS IS FOR MY NIGGA ARTARD while looking into the camera.

 

[Shadow Fox]

Ver archivo adjunto 1841

For some reason the pizza kid in the bottom left corner made me laugh.

Fuckin' hell, Chris, are you sure that's all you want? Maybe you ought to add a new car or an actual mansion to that list. Looking at this thing is like when as a kid you reach that age where you recognize the value of money, and maybe you're old enough to be earning some yourself through chores or whatever, and when your parents or relatives ask what you want for Christmas you list off all the really expensive toys that you don't want to save up for yourself.

 

[Marvin]

lol

Haha, yeah, I know, I know...

Really, lack of tact is why we're all christorians in the first place. It's what makes Chris Chris, y'know?

But... still... this just seems like a new low for Chris. It's like he's thinking, how more obnoxious can I be? I've gotta optimize the obnoxiousness quotient!

 

[Stuff and Things]

Haha, yeah, I know, I know...

Really, lack of tact is why we're all christorians in the first place. It's what makes Chris Chris, y'know?

But... still... this just seems like a new low for Chris. It's like he's thinking, how more obnoxious can I be? I've gotta optimize the obnoxiousness quotient!

Well, remember that Borb used to buy him all the toys and vidya so he would shut up, so yeah, i won't be surprised if he was trying to be as obnoxious as possible in order to make people buy him stuff, besides, being obnoxious is the only way that Chris knows to call the attention of the other people.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Really, lack of tact is why we're all christorians in the first place. It's what makes Chris Chris, y'know?

It's like Chris is saying to himself "ugh, not enough people dislike me yet. What more can I do to reinforce their reasons for thinking I'm a shitty person?"

 

[Fuzzy Wuzzy]

For some reason, I'm starting to think that he's inheriting his materialistic tendencies from his mother. Except, he wants Legos, vidya, and gift cards to keep him "happy". Lets say he has all that in the world and he uses them. He'll be sad all over again. Most people, in my opinion, are happy when they have jobs because they can make friends with their coworkers and get paid for their productivity. Having friends, even a few, is worth more than all the Lego in the world these days. Or at least that's how I perceive things. I'm Buddhist so I believe the greatest happiness comes from having another person who cares about your life with you than just having all the things from around the world.

 

[Pikonic]

We could send Jace some Legos and Chris some airsoft guns.

Jace gets a card saying "Sorry a Keurig burned down your house" Chris gets a card saying "Sorry a grilled cheese burned down your house"

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

He's opening himself up to be trolled hard. People are gonna send him Monopoly money or a few Lego at a time, or used gift cards.

 

[maninthepicklesuit]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1214729/James-May-size-Lego-house-wants.html

I just put two and two together: this is what Christian's up to. Except just imagine the same Lego house, but make the colors even more random, and stick Sonichu's face and the initials CWC somewhere.

Assuming a price of 0.12 USD per Lego brick, and given that there are 3.3 million bricks in the structure, that comes out to 396,000 USD just to build the structure. Then at the bare minimum, there'd be land, pipe installation, and wiring. Yeah, definitely better off buying a real house.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Having friends, even a few, is worth more than all the Lego in the world these days. Or at least that's how I perceive things. I'm Buddhist so I believe the greatest happiness comes from having another person who cares about your life with you than just having all the things from around the world.

You're absolutely correct - life feels empty unless you have someone to bond with. But Chris doesn't want friends, see. He only wants the fantasy that he thinks friends are, which means he wants people to serve him and tell him he's special and great while he does nothing for them in return. Same thing with his idea of what a girlfriend is.

He's opening himself up to be trolled hard. People are gonna send him Monopoly money or a few Lego at a time, or used gift cards.

Someone should take a pocket knife and carve a couple lego pieces in half, then send the useless broken pieces to him.

 

[Fuzzy Wuzzy]

Some of the stuff he listed isn't even out yet.

Looks like he'll have to wait for them and hope his tugboat can pay for that. By then, would he even have a home and his laptop then?