Emptiness

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I think mine has to do with such a high level of stuff that I grew accustomed to that cannot really be met as an adult and wondering about what if things went differently. The first is an issue for a lot of people I grew up around in that normal life is just boring in comparison, and my standards for people I actually like are set really high.

A lot of the girls I liked growing up ended up moving or other things, one even was sitting with me the first day of class one year and was stoked to have a class with me and wondered why her name wasn't on the attendance sheet, but she moved later that year regardless.
 
To be honest, i felt terribly empty before i came across the best job i had until the coof hit. I was a hotel clerk and a tour guide and even if i wasn't making a lot of money nor i was living a glamurous life, i was the happiest i ever was. I stopped playing videogames and took up doing exercise regularly. I went out constantly to do sport and i enjoyed taking walks. And having a constant stream of new and different people every day made it all even better. Hard and honest work, but everything around it made it damn good. Even boring slow days were nice.

When the coof hit it all got wrecked, but i managed to help myself with drawing. I took up my old projects and decided to let my imagination loose on the paper. It's not great and even if i worry too much about the results, i've been steadily having fun seeing how everything takes shape. And i think that nothing fulfills me more than learning how to draw and dedicating myself to this project, even if the situation i'm in is not the best.

It may take time to find that sweet spot, but all of you can find something fulfilling. It's a matter of trial and error but once you find it, you probably won't be able to let it go.
 
Tekashi 69 dijo:
Does anyone else feel so... empty? I have a fun job, my family tolerates me, I have a social life and I even do charity work but none of it brings me pleasure. I play lots of videogames not because they bring me joy but simply because it helps me stay distracted.

Is anyone else like this?
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What jumps out at me is your use of the word pleasure. People usually don't feel empty because of a lack of pleasure, they feel empty because of a lack of meaning in there lives. Based on what you've said it seems like your path in life so far doesn't match what you are seeking.

So I have some questions to ask you.

How old are you? You could be feeling this way because you are aging out of one phase of life and moving into another and are having something like a midlife crisis.

Is your job what you want to do for your career? What do you want out of a career? Lots of money? An easy job? A challenge? Is it something you want to do for the next 40 years or however much longer you have until retirement?

You say your family tolerates you. Why do they only tolerate you? Also are we talking parents and siblings family, or wife and kids type family? Are they all at the tolerate level or is there someone you get along with better than the others? What can you do on your part to make it more than tolerable?

About your social life, what do you mean by a good social life? Is there anyone you're really close to? Like not we hang out and party, but more like I can have a deep conversation with this person without entertainment friend?

And finally you say you do charity work. Is it something you truely believe in, or do you do it for more selfish reasons, like you want to look like a good person, or it's expected of you or something like that? Is it something that you would do even if no one knew you did it?

I think you should take a long look inside of you and your life and try to find out what truly matters to you and work on directing your energies towards that. If you only focus on pleasure your going to feel emptiness, so I'd probably cut back on the games. Just remember, a meaningful life isn't necessarily a fun life,and a fun life isn't always meaningful. So which do you want to push towards? It seems that your pushing towards both and that's not always possible.
 
Bass dijo:
What jumps out at me is your use of the word pleasure. People usually don't feel empty because of a lack of pleasure, they feel empty because of a lack of meaning in there lives. Based on what you've said it seems like your path in life so far doesn't match what you are seeking.

So I have some questions to ask you.

How old are you? You could be feeling this way because you are aging out of one phase of life and moving into another and are having something like a midlife crisis.

Is your job what you want to do for your career? What do you want out of a career? Lots of money? An easy job? A challenge? Is it something you want to do for the next 40 years or however much longer you have until retirement?

You say your family tolerates you. Why do they only tolerate you? Also are we talking parents and siblings family, or wife and kids type family? Are they all at the tolerate level or is there someone you get along with better than the others? What can you do on your part to make it more than tolerable?

About your social life, what do you mean by a good social life? Is there anyone you're really close to? Like not we hang out and party, but more like I can have a deep conversation with this person without entertainment friend?

And finally you say you do charity work. Is it something you truely believe in, or do you do it for more selfish reasons, like you want to look like a good person, or it's expected of you or something like that? Is it something that you would do even if no one knew you did it?

I think you should take a long look inside of you and your life and try to find out what truly matters to you and work on directing your energies towards that. If you only focus on pleasure your going to feel emptiness, so I'd probably cut back on the games. Just remember, a meaningful life isn't necessarily a fun life,and a fun life isn't always meaningful. So which do you want to push towards? It seems that your pushing towards both and that's not always possible.
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This is a unexpectedly wholesome post from someone with a Crowley avatar.

I doubt transient pleasure seekers like OP will have the grit to follow it, but at least you illuminated the start of the path before he passes it by.
 
Bass dijo:
What jumps out at me is your use of the word pleasure. People usually don't feel empty because of a lack of pleasure, they feel empty because of a lack of meaning in there lives. Based on what you've said it seems like your path in life so far doesn't match what you are seeking.
Presiona para expandir...
This is also something that gets me today: people focus too much on hapiness and making everything pleasurable. I think it's a crude attempt at drowning their emptiness with a soft solution, always wanting the next hit before reality crashes through the door and breaks the illusion.

Meaning and Purpouse aren't pretty and they aren't kind, but they are more fulfilling than anything else. You will struggle plenty of days, constantly fighting an uphill battle, sometimes torturing yourself for not achieving results, seeing how everything you do is wrong and bad... But after a time, looking back and seeing your progress, you will see how far you have come with only your hands and head, dedicating yourself to something that matters and it's terribly important to you. It can be one of the usual drives that have been the main dedication of men and women through history: build a house, have a child, write a book... Or you can put that dedication into something else you want to achieve: learning agriculture, carpentry, smithing, art, learn music, new languages, learn how to fix a bike or a car, learn how to cook...

The easy way is never the answer, just a temporary fix that helps dull the pain. We always have to test ourselves, dreaming impossible dreams for our own sake. Nietzche was right saying that our lives have no purpouse. That's why it's our duty to give them one.
 
Feel that way rn, some how always manage to injure my shoulder from drawing then have to take a break from it. I try to space out my drawing sessions through out the day to limit any sort of strain but eventually I end up getting engrossed in something and 3hrs pass without taking a break, do this over the course of a couple days and it results in me not being able to draw for like 3-4 days. Then I just sit around mindlessly consuming, I like reading and it gives me genuine joy because it challenges me but I can only do it for so long, then I end up on here or youtube. Vidya just doesn't do it for me anymore, and tv/movies are really good after not watching them for a month but soon enough they also lose their charm. Drawing is literally the only thing I care about outside of reading, my whole life is oriented around it, specifically to maximize the amount of time I have to do it. I just started drawing last year around this time, and already have seen massive gains. I really hope I continue to improve at the pace I have been even if its not realistically possible. IDC about making money from it, I already have a job that more than pays the bills and allows time for my passions even if I could care less about it as a career.
 
Ughubughughughughughghlug dijo:
How find woman if sperg?
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Onlyfans.

To OP: Find something that gives you adrenaline. Get a fast car and go speeding with it, pick up an instrument and jam out, make a story with the worst parts of yourself winning and destroying everything. The world is a giant sandbox and if you have to kick some sand in someone's eye to get some enjoyment then do it. If all else fails, netorare porn feels great if you self insert as the fat guy.
 
Drugs fill the void

Your results may vary
 
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