🎨 Artcow Ellen Woodbury / Pizzacake / Pizzacakecomic - A 40 year old webcomic artist, mother, porn star, misandrist, dramacow and Reddit celebrity. Threatens to sue her critics and cuckolds her husband. Female Andrew Dobson.

[Drunk Smilodon]

I know I've gone on record saying I don't mind Ellen's nonpolitical comics all that much, but damn, I don't think I'll bother to defend that opinion at this point. Anytime she wants to complain about a pattern of behavior or something stupid someone does here and there, the comics depicting them are all the same, just set apart by the number of panels. The guilty party is always aware that what they're doing is bad/irritating, but still gleefully announces their intent to do it anyway while failing to mention the ramifications of their deliberate transgressions, especially on others. Bonus points for wide, derpy eyes to indicate a shortage of brain cells. It's a setup and (at this point) weak punchline Ellen's used more than once (the fairly recent package delivery comic comes to mind), and while it's versatile, it gets old quickly. Would I take ten of them over her entire gallery of political comics? Any day of the week. The problem is that I could reasonably believe she could make ten, twenty, or even thirty of these "stupid behavior" comics in a row and nothing else because she's that creatively bankrupt.

 

[AnOminous]

The problem is that I could reasonably believe she could make ten, twenty, or even thirty of these "stupid behavior" comics in a row and nothing else because she's that creatively bankrupt.

Meanwhile we can expect a few dozen versions of her sucking cocks in public and her children being embarrassed by it, and her response will be to mock her own children in public for disapproving of her being a public cocksucker. Somehow, children do not approve of their mother being an open whore.

Of course, a vile whore like Ellen couldn't care less about humiliating her own children by being a public whore. Basically a toilet available to the public to splooge into for a very, very small price. What a cunt! What a prostitute!

 

[Kabobs]

Pride photoshoot of Ellen and Jeff I guess?

Spoiler: Photos

Description:

This year feels more important than most to celebrate and show visibility, and I'm so happy to see all the lovely support and beautiful flags up all around my city! I will always do my best to make sure everyone feels safe and welcome in this space

I'm also happy to announce that a portion of this month's Patreon income will be donated to the Rainbow Railroad, a charity that gives support to at-risk LGBTQI+ people in Canada (and they're also matching all donations until June 30th if you want to donate as well)!

Love is love!!

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

Pride photoshoot of Ellen and Jeff I guess?

Spoiler: Photos

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Description:

Fucking hell, it's him.
I also see that us saying she never supported charity got to her.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Pride photoshoot of Ellen and Jeff I guess?

Spoiler: Photos

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Description:

So when's the next comic of her calling conservative men a bunch of dumb gay homos?

 

[Ghostse]

Pride photoshoot of Ellen and Jeff I guess?

Spoiler: Photos

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Description:

For pride month, Ellen is taking the bull's loads in the ass in solidarity.

 

[306h4Ge5eJUJ]

 

[harbringer883]

Pride photoshoot of Ellen and Jeff I guess?

Spoiler: Photos

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Description:

Jeff lowkey looks like a female to male troon.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

I know I've gone on record saying I don't mind Ellen's nonpolitical comics all that much, but damn, I don't think I'll bother to defend that opinion at this point. Anytime she wants to complain about a pattern of behavior or something stupid someone does here and there, the comics depicting them are all the same, just set apart by the number of panels. The guilty party is always aware that what they're doing is bad/irritating, but still gleefully announces their intent to do it anyway while failing to mention the ramifications of their deliberate transgressions, especially on others. Bonus points for wide, derpy eyes to indicate a shortage of brain cells. It's a setup and (at this point) weak punchline Ellen's used more than once (the fairly recent package delivery comic comes to mind), and while it's versatile, it gets old quickly. Would I take ten of them over her entire gallery of political comics? Any day of the week. The problem is that I could reasonably believe she could make ten, twenty, or even thirty of these "stupid behavior" comics in a row and nothing else because she's that creatively bankrupt.

It really does indicate her mentality, doesn't it?

Anything that inconveniences her personally is a deliberate act by the willfully ignorant subhumans of the world. It's such a juvenile way of looking at the world, and honestly shameful to be coming from a grown woman and mother pushing 40.

Lady Kiwis, imagine you're on your back, legs in the air, and *this* face is the one over you while he goes to town on your hoohah. Scale of 1 to 10, how dry are you and do you fake an orgasm?

 

[AnOminous]

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Lmao hide the pain.

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

Jeff lowkey looks like a female to male troon.

As a resident FTM simp, nope.

Lady Kiwis, imagine you're on your back, legs in the air, and *this* face is the one over you while he goes to town on your hoohah. Scale of 1 to 10, how dry are you and do you fake an orgasm?

I guess this is why, when he's depicted eating her out, she's sitting on him.

Spoiler: NSFW

 

[harbringer883]

As a resident FTM simp, nope.

Well thats just gay.

 

[Dickbucketz 117]

I guess this is why, when he's depicted eating her out, she's sitting on him.

Does this bitch really think she has abs like that?
Are we even sure that's Jeff and not some BVLL?

Where is Ellen flying to now?
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I mean, we all know it's Orlando, but let's just pretend this isn't a rhetoric question.

If she was the "couple too retarded to buy proper tickets" she would be absolutely rabid and make a comic about a STUPID MAGA CHUD not letting her sit next to her husband.

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

Pride photoshoot of Ellen and Jeff I guess?

Spoiler: Photos

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Description:

My buddy Cook estimated the cost of the cosplay.
Here are the findings:
(all prices in Canadian Dollars)


Headdress - 7,99$



Skirt - $12,99
...the dress is for children, however...

I wonder if it would actually fit anyone in her family.


Gloves - $3,99


Wig - reused from Mira cosplay


Shoes - reused from Barbie cosplay

Total cost: $23,97 CAD.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

My buddy Cook estimated the cost of the cosplay.
Here are the findings:
(all prices in Canadian Dollars)
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Headdress - 7,99$
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Skirt - $12,99
...the dress is for children, however...
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I wonder if it would actually fit anyone in her family.
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Gloves - $3,99
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Wig - reused from Mira cosplay
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Shoes - reused from Barbie cosplay
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Total cost: $23,97 CAD.

I honestly don't know which would be worse, an expensive porn shoot or a cheap one.

PLEASE STOP BRINGING YOUR CHILDREN'S TOYS INTO YOUR PORN, ELLEN

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

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SHE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!

 

[Drunk Smilodon]

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SHE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!
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It's interesting to me how she's been drawing inspiration from Looney Tunes lately. She tries to mimic it in some ways, perhaps in hopes of paying homage to the classics and tricking people into thinking her comics are funny. However, her imitations remind me of a skinwalker. Unnatural, unsettling, uncanny. Her "humor" is wholly inferior to Looney Tunes, yet she insists on attempting to borrow its appearance and memes. She crushes and twists its timeless charm into a grotesque weapon that she wields in anger. She puts so much attention into her distortions that she forgets to be funny, especially with the bastardizations of that reaction meme.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

Is it my 'tism or does fracking make no sense in this context? Fracking contaminates groundwater and erodes rock strata leading to sinkholes, not global warming. And isn't fracking a dead topic in the big 26? Last I remember hearing people yap about fracking was 2012.

 

[Drunk Smilodon]

Is it my 'tism or does fracking make no sense in this context? Fracking contaminates groundwater and erodes rock strata leading to sinkholes, not global warming. And isn't fracking a dead topic in the big 26? Last I remember hearing people yap about fracking was 2012.

I'd be shocked if Ellen knew what fracking was. Knowing her, she probably heard the word get used in a negative light a couple times and just ran with it for quick asspats. Also, the only other person I hear talking about fracking these days is a friend of mine who saw some documentary on it and likes to bring it up once every few months. Then again, I forget when the documentary came out...

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

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SHE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!
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In the same vein...

"New" Reddit comic...
(archive)

...uhhh...
(archive)

She must be trolling at this point...
Right?
.
.
.
Right?



EMERGENCY UPDATE: MOMBIE 20 IS OUT!
(archive)

Thoughts?

- The artstyle is WAYYYYY worse.
Just compare these two pages.


- Ellen didn't know how to end a story, so she made yet another deus ex machina

- The shapeshifter's name is Lyra, and all of her shit was a trial in itself by another deity...

- The punchlines are "Haha Ellen doesn't know Pokemon" and "Haha Ellen is a horrible human being and the story made zero sense to begin with!"

- Typo in the final panel "blatent"

- Do not continue this series, please.


In addition, this released on June 16th...
The first part was October 27...
It has been 232 days.