It's not about the money, it's about your ego and your desperate attempt to save face for a bunch of people who don't give a shit.
Exactly, sex with a prostitute does nothing to satisfy my ego because I know it's not an actual accomplishment, it's all fake.
@The_Cowcel Alcohol isn't cheap, especially if you drink ten hours a day three days a week. I have alcoholism in my family and it's hard to watch. You're going to be ruined before you're 40 if you don't change your ways.
I plan on changing my ways but it's hard when it's the only thing I've found that helps make me social. Again this is something that would be helped by dating, if I was dating I wouldn't feel the need to spent so many hours trying to build a network.
1. Cultivate genuine interests and hobbies
This is mandatory. Saying you want women to be attracted to you while refusing to have anything interesting going on in your personal life is like saying you wanna make pancakes while refusing to turn on the stove. Find something to occupy your free time that has nothing to do with women, sex, or self-pity. It can be pretty much anything.
Are you a handsy guy? Maybe invest in some basic carpentry tools. More of a brainy guy? Maybe an Arduino kit is a better investment for you. Sensory guy? Maybe go on a hike and start identifying wildflowers. Maybe learn to cook.
Whatever it is, you will naturally pick up interesting topics to discuss, things to show, and stories to tell. Such is standard fare for not being a chore to be around.
I don't have any carpentry work that's in need of fixing and it's something too expensive and bulky to get into, I don't have anything use for an arduino at least for the moment and I don't get the point of identifying wildflowers. I already know how to cook, I enjoy good food, and I do a decent amount of repairs myself but I wouldn't consider that to be an interest or a hobby really. What kind of hobbies do women even like in a man?
2. Make a basic effort your appearance
Don't do any gay looksmaxxing shit. That level of neuroticism is actually counterproductive. Just get your basic hygiene squared away then take the little extra steps that normal people do.
Try growing your hair just a bit longer than you're comfortable with and then visiting an actual stylist. Tell them you want a low-maintenance cut that looks professional which you can pull off. This is a normal request these trained professionals receive and they're usually more than happy to have the freedom to play. It's genuinely impressive what these people can do. And you should only have to do this once and then go back to your regular barber for monthly maintenance. Even if you're not overjoyed with the results at first, just rock it until the novelty wears off. You will be pleasantly surprised how differently people start to treat you.
As for clothes: Keep them clean; people notice stains. Press and fold or hang them after drying since wrinkles make you look much sloppier than you realize. Women have a weird fixation on other people's shoes that I'll never quite understand. Buy a nice pair and take good care of them. Other than that, just wear the style that you want people to associate with you. People generally prefer to be around people who look the way they act.
Get a nice cologne and go easy on it. A few sprits in the neck and chest area is all you need.
Alright, all of that has already been checked off,
3. Actually go out and talk to people
Now that you have things to talk about and your appearance doesn't cause people to write you off as a schizoid, start talking to people. Conversation is a skill and you probably have a lot of catching up to do.
Learn how to pivot from a boring discussion about the weather to a topic that interests you (see: "cultivate genuine interests and hobbies"). Find out what gets people talking about their interests and what ends up killing a discussion.
Alright, just initiating any sort of conversation at all is a huge step that I usually struggle to pass while sober(and when I'm out I don't drink enough to even get slightly buzzed too expensive). How would I even go about starting a conversation and learning how to act? Hell one of the big discussion killers I have is just that I'm intentionally passive and try to let the other person lead the conversation, I'm too nervous to try to lead or even offer much input.
After having developed genuine interests, securing a look that works for you, and obtaining basic social skills, you will find that women will start being as interested in talking to you as you are to them. Women are not the gatekeepers of sexual pleasure. They're not hoarding their pp touches until they find a man they deem worthy. They are just as horny as you are. They enjoy rubbing their genitals just as much as you do.
Nothing would have changed from their perspective though, I don't make it far enough in my interactions with women for my interests and hobbies to come up, I'm already in decent shape and well groomed, and my social skills are irrelevant unless I'm able to make it over the hurdle of initiating interaction as well as being relaxed enough I'm willing to take mild social risks rather than overanalyzing everything I plan to say and intentionally trying to curate an unobjectionable blank slate persona.
You've already said that that is because you incessantly pester them to solve your problems without adjusting your own thinking and orientation.
What is there to change other than just giving up entirely? My thinking is almost entirely devoted to trying to escape my loneliness. I was trying to get information on socializing from the only peers I had that I considered to be close to me and all I got out of it was abandonment.
You continue to go in the same circles.
No one has to show you how - but if they try, you're a jerk for blaming them for your failure.
The reality is you reject all of the people trying to help you by dismissing their direction or advice out of hand.
I don't feel like the advice as presented is actionable to me. How am I meant to get genuine interests when nothing interests me much? What advice have I recieved that I have yet to try? I've even tried giving up as some people here have suggested. I'm not dismissing advice I'm pointing out that it's not enough and I know that because I've spent years trying it.
Then I'm guessing you've been sourcing from incel or similar places, because the correct Maslow's hierarchy is what I posted.
This tells me you have been lazy and lacked curiosity and inquisitiveness. You should always verify and seek to understand, not just mimic or parrot or cherry-pick what confirms your rigid beliefs.
The one I quickly referenced before leaving that comment was whatever the search engine fed me, probably from Wikipedia or something, it's not like I was cherry picking here.
What's the common denominator here?
My starting position and the fact that I'm desperately chasing a life milestone most kids reach before they can even drink legally? No reason to assume it's my personality that's the problem rather than my delayed developmental state.
Again, your thinking is circular, bent around a single central belief and obsession. It's possible you'd still have these friends, but as evidenced by how many friend groups you've gone through, that's not likely.
I lost the later friend groups for basically the same reason of being desperate for a woman. My desperation has consumed and ruined my life so what's so unreasonably about trying to solve said desperation?
Lol the current generation is your generation, Young Werther.
And? I'm too out of touch to know what we listen to, I'm only familiar with the music my parents and their friends listen to.
You know why you have no friends (that you want, except the guy you're too good for*) yet you refuse to address it or stop it. Or appreciate the one person who likes you.
How do I just stop being desperate to reach a sorely missed life milestone? To me the easiest and clearest way seems like it would be to *reach* that milestone
