Dead Rising Deluxe Remaster Ultimate Hyper Edition - Fat Boy Rising

[JimiHendrix]

busy with work lately, will get to it when I can, sorry for the delay.

i've got some time to kill now.

Spoiler: fat boy adventures in the mall

phil doesn't remember where he is in the game. that's what happens when you stop playing for over a week.

phil is once again praising the checkpoint system and how much he loves it.

still amuses me how phil is perfectly happy to say the dreaded retard word now.

"i forgot how to play. i haven't played this in a week and a half, i don't remember"

phil is now struggling to read an analog clock.

he is heading off to stop carlito. his commentary has just been "so...okay...i don't remember how to play...what are we doing...okay..."

that's literally all he's said for the last 8 minutes.

"the mantainence tunnel has been locked up to this point"

no it hasn't.

"how do i access the mantainence tunnel? i forgot."

reminder he said he wouldn't play this game because he already played it too much.

"why would they tell me to do this mission if i have no access to the mantenance tunnels? WHAT? how am i supposed to do this? if i don't have the key, how can i do it? what duh fuck. someone just said i access it through the park? thank you, the game didn't explain this at all, how would i know that?"

like i said, he has legitimately gotten dumber over the years, he NEVER had this issue in the original game. probably a side effect of the game gettin' rid of the big "GO HERE RETARD" arrow.

phil tried to take the motorcycle into the tunnels, he then slammed into one of those red/white lil wooden barriers that i realize now i don't actually know the name for. he complains you can't take the motorcycle into the tunnels, you can actually.

while phil is collecting the bombs, Kendall makes his move and tries to cause a mutiny back at the safe room.

"fucking asshole, he waits until i'm trying to stop the bombs to do this. so dumb."

"what do i do? does anyone know what the fuck i'm supposed to do? i have no idea what i'm doing"

phil is trying to extract a bomb from a truck that has no bomb.

"i don't know what i'm supposed to do, how do i do anything with this bomb guys?"

he eventually figures out he's at the wrong truck.

phil manages to easily defeat Carlito 3 because this game makes bosses take like, literally, 300% more damage from attacks, its kinda insane.

"this is just fucking stupid that they can grab me that fast."

phil continues to be mad there are zombies in this zombie video game.

"i think i remember carlito being way harder in the original too and i just whooped his ass with this sword real easy, no problem."

more whining about low tips.

"i remember this segment was incredibly frustrating, but now it's much easier."

phil can not stop giving this game glowing praise for how easy it is now.

he has now paused the game and is asking people how to get the bombs out of the mall.

"how the fuck do i get over there? does anyone know what i'm supposed to be doing?"

again, he NEVER had this issue in the original game.

it's been 30 minutes and i think he's said some variation of "does anyone know what i'm supposed to be doing?" like, maybe 4 times.

phil claims he liked the remaster of Dead Rising a lot, the reality is he said the game was complete dogshit and he absolutely hated it and said the game was objectively bad numerous times.

Phil fails to save Simone because he's a blind fat bitch and literally can not see her despite her being marked on the map and him standing in front of her at one point.

"i guess im just not going to care about the survivor. i dont really give a crap."

"there is no distraught woman here, so i guess i give up. i give up on the mission."

phil has paused the game to now rant about Doody.

"nah, she's not here guys. i don't know what to say. i'm out of here. im literally where it says she is, and she's not here. she's gonna just die, nothing i can do about it, she's a moron i guess. i don't know what to say, she's not here, i give up. alright, whatever, forget it, i guess we're not going to save every survivor."

i mean, you already weren't going to save every surivor, but yeah, rip simone.

"if people are interested in collabing they need to reach out to me, im not going to reach out to them."

sounds like a great way to run a business, my guy.

phil gets asked his favorite vegetable of all time, he does not have an answer. shocking.

begging again.

"there's been a decline in tips recently"

you are sitting at 150$ contributions, that's the goal, why am i being asked to give you more money?

"that woman literally never spawned in my game so i couldn't save her. i don't know what to say Capcom, i would've loved to save that survivor."

please refer to the picture i posted above.

phil is unable to answer his favorite vegetable, but you ask him his favorite dunkin donuts? even after not having one for 20 years according to him, it's the raspberry jelly filled donut that he loves.

phil has been murdered by Larry the Butcher, despite healing four times.

"at least you get the check point by the door, right?"

phil has died a second time.

"dumb, what a dumb fight. i like how bullets don't have any effect on this guy at all."

"let's get some contributions in tonight to end the stream well."

you're at 175$

"by the way, the prisoners are gone right? i thin kthe prisoners have been written out of the story."

that's....not what that term means?

"this game is so much easier and faster when you have the checkpoints, right?"

end of stream. phil says the next stream will be the last one.

 

[JimiHendrix]

forgot he was streaming it, but this is supposed to be the final stream.

Spoiler: the final fatboy

I just got here and phil has 206$ and has left to check if his wife is home.

after what felt like 10 minutes, phil has returned to belch into the mic.

"they despawned my car, you fucking bastards"

you left and reloaded the area.

jayde is angry that phil is a drama streamer now.

phil is whining that he can't be "classic phil" because everyone gets offended by everything and no one can take a joke anymore.

in his brilliance phil drank a nectar and summoned a queen in front of a door, then went through the door instead of picking the queen up.

"that's nonsense. you stupid fucking game. they fucked me. they fucked me out of a queen."

not only is it your fault for summoning the queen there, but the remake actually lets you switch between prompts, for example, if two weapons are laying ontop of one another, you can use the d-pad to select the one you want, I imagine the door/queen combo works similarly. so no matter how you slice this, phils at fault, as usual.

"you see any guys? i need your help. this is pissing me off. i don't wanna be doing this all day."

this is literally your job.

"this is incredibly fucking dumb and im wasting my time and im getting pissed. this is pissing me off man, I want to beat the game."

fat man is infuriated that he can't find 2 queens.

"the game is screwing me over, there absolutely was a queen there."

phil now goes on a rant about how they fucked up the remake. the "queen" was actually a zombie eating a hunk of meat.

"we're going to run out of time at this rate, this is dumb. when my food shows up im eating it. i don't give a shit. i guess we'll just be done with this game."

he is honest to god one of the worst video game streamers I have ever seen. he really should just drop games and do drama like he wants.

"no queens will spawn anywhere and I'm running out of time. i don't want to do this. why did they make the game like this?"

thank god they reduced the necessary queens from 10 to 5.

"im died"

phil died which means he has lost all of his queens, won't matter though, because he will just reload.

phil keeps mashing trying to escape the military, which is resulting in them beating the FUCK out of him. it happened twice in a row.

"how the fuck am I supposed to do this?"

phil has broken free from the military and has immediately reloaded before he died.

"fuck that stupid shit."

"thank god for the auto-save. could you imagine if you had to restart that shit?"

yeah, you might have to actually play the game. that'd be terrible.

"guys, lets get some support on the stream, I haven't had any support since I started the game"

the goal is 150$, you'r;e at 206, why am I being asked for money?

"no, I didn't skip a boss, you don't know what the hell you're talking about. i didn't skip any boss"

I don't know what the chatter was referring to, but Phil ignored Kent, who is a boss, who phil didn't fight, so, yes, phil did skip a boss, he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about.

phil has saved 35 out of 49 survivors, this is in comparison to his original playthrough which was a staggering 19/49. this should demonstrate how much easier the remake is.

"damn, a lot of them died huh, but a lot of them are supposed to die, you can't save everyone."

incorrect, from the survivor chart you can save everyone except Carlito, Brad, Barnaby, and Jessica.

phil thought he only needed 5 queens, he is now upset that there's a list of shit he needs to get beforehand.

"what about the queens in my inventory? what am I supposed to do with those? i have to go get these now?"

he is now slowly checking each item in the menu.

"I literally have to get all these, huh?"

it's like Phil is intentionally running down the clock for when he can drop the game, but surely he'd never?

"I shouldn't have gotten the queens ahead of time. I'm fucked. i don't think we're beating this game. this is ridiculous at this point. i don't think we're beating it."

the items he needs to get don't take up inventory slot, there is zero reason he can't beat this game today.

"how is he shooting me when im standing point blank? there were three other guys behind me? they weren't on the screen."

man nearly got jumped.

phil has been fucking murdered in the local grocery store.

"uh, no, no no no, fuck your mother dude. FUCk your mother."

reloaded again.

phil was mashing his attack so hard he accidentally freed a queen. another reload.

"this is terrible dude. this is seriously terrible. how the fuck am I going to beat this game? it was fun up till this point, now they fuck it up. unbelievable."

he smashed the queen AGAIN, another reload.

"FUCK THIS GAME MAN, I am TELLING YOU I am not beating it. the ending sucks shit. i am turning it off. they're out of their fucking minds."

reminder, they made this WAY easier, and he's still struggling?

used queen again, another reload.

"THEY CAN SHOOT UOU THROUGH THE FUCKING WALL?"

that's a window.

phil is dead.

"he just keeps firing. you can't do anything about it."

reloaded again.

"this SUCKS."

"this one recovers 3"

is his eyesight that bad or is he just that stupid? it clearly recovers 2.

phil is mad and thinks it's stupid he doesn't have the maintenance key yet, even though that's entirely his fault.

phil does not understand why a military squad, which is sweeping the mall to clear out zombies and survivors, would be in various stores and places.

he has nothing to say about the new bazooka weapon that was added. in fact, he seems offended that it exists, as he states he does not want it.

"I don't know if im gonna beat this guys. im trying, but it's too long. it's just stupid. i want too, but it's stupid how they did this. it's too long."

you control your schedule, why didn't you order food until after you beat it?

phil is now blaming his audience because "no one told me" about how the ending of the game is. so it's THEIR fault if he doesn't beat the game.

phil gets his bike stuck on an escalator, screams the game is stupid that he Austin Powered himself, then gets murdered by a soldier and angerly reloads.

"why did they put SO MANY soldiers? it's not even like a few, it's an INSANE amount"

"thank god for autosave, can you imagine having to do this over and over because the game is poorly designed?"

another reload.

"i can't use the gun, the gun is worthless"

he says as he continually shoots a soldier in their bullet proof helmet.

"the guns are AWFUL they just ignore the guns and keep firing on you"

i mean, yes, they're in fully military gear?

he died again.

"how am i supposed to get past all of these guys? was the original like this? i don't know, i've only played it once."

i thought you said you wouldn't play this game because you played the original so much?

phil has decided to dress up as Megaman with the Servo bot head for the finale.

"im about to have no melee weapon by the way"

there's a katana over the railing ontop of that awning, which i believe you were told by fans at the start of the game, but even then, kinda insane to not know it's there after 3 playthroughs on this game.

so the big horrifying reveal is that Carlito adopted 50 kids, infected them with the zombie virus, then injected them with a "cure" that slows their transformation. He then put them back up for adaption. This means that, eventually, these kids all over the country will turn to zombies. The game spells this out pretty clearly. Phils response is "I don't get it."

"once the food arrives that's more important than this. i forgot how bad this is."

he really hates it when the game asks you to do things. also the game just hard crashed.

"oh. delightful. just ontop of everything the game crashes"

"we're definitely not beating this today."

"if you don't do this, you get the WORST possible ending"

no. arguably ending B is the best ending because in it Jessica and Brad survive.

phil continues to praise Dead Rising 2, a game he hated so much he changed his channel banner to "DEAD RISING 2 SUCKS" during his original playthrough of it.

phil died to Brock, despite how SHOCKINGLY easy he is in the remake, he still died. at least our boy got one win out.

"dude, the controls re so bad with no lock on"

i will never understand his obsession with lock on.

phil has beaten Brock. like i said, he is MASSIVELY nerfed from the original superior game, but Brock still squeaked out a single win, which is enough for me.

phil has the licensed music turned off so these credits suck DICK without Justified playing.

"so you know, people asking, what do i think about this compared to the original? SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much easier. the checkpoints make it so................more modern, but at the same time the clunkyness of this overtime comes through. the main game is good. overall, this is a game that inspired an AMAZING sequel, I think dead rising 3 is still good. i would defintiely say because it is so easy, i would definitely argue that you should try playing the orighinal because it's much harder and that's representative of how they wanted you to experience it."

that's pretty much it. im not watching phil eat a whopper or whatever he's doing. i don't know when or if i'll do another thread like this. certainly not anytime this year. hope you guys enjoyed it. see you next time.