the first thing I hear is phil bitching the gamma is way too high and the devs are apparently stupid.
"what a piece of shit remake this is"
it's been 2 fucking minutes, dude?
"according to this im using only 3gbs of my graphics memory, so why the fuck does it look so bad?"
I don't think phil knows what graphics memory is, most cards only have 4 or 8gbs. for example, mine has 8.
phil is pleased with the fact there is an auto-save now.
"there is no input delay"
phil is talking down the Nvidia Reflex setting or whatever which claims to remove input delay, phil hates this setting and has proclaimed there's no input delay. i am assuming this is foreshadowing for things to come.
"in the original doesn't this woman look like a complete crazy woman? like her hair looks crazy?"
no. she looks the same. phil then gets upset the camera starts on isabella's ass. the only ass phil likes is one that struggles to fit through a door.
"what the fuck, WHAT THE FUCK, are you kidding me? that's the water effects? nice remaster, huh."
i see we're getting a "phil resents having to play this and is going to shit on it every chance he gets" playthrough ala Cyberpunk and a dozen other games.
"i don't remember who that guy is."
phil doesn't remember Dr. Barnaby, one of the single most important NPCs to the plot. reminder that Phil put off playing this game for nearly a month because he "has played it too much"
brad shows up and demands phil get to the stairs, screaming it at him. after the cutscene ends phil hits us with the iconic "wait, where are we going?"
phil did not get the early game shotgun.
"i dont remember the old guy at all. i dont remember who he is in the plot."
"guys, we're at 95 likes, let's hit 100 likes-"
then he goes into his beg script. i don't care to transcribe this. it's boring.
phil is now explaining how the game works, his expert opinion essentially breaks down to "you can play the game better when you know everything and what to do." brilliant insight, sir.
phil keeps saying he has to fight "josh" then changes it to having to fight "brad" the person he has to fight is actually named Carlito.
phil is kicking around the idea of doing a second run, since, naturally, his fans asked him if he will do a second run after he got done with his "the game is always better on the second run" speech, phil is non-commital.
"why would there be a guitar store in the mall? that's a little weird."
why the fuck wouldn't there be?
"so you cant' go to the movies yet? or can you?"
I guess we'll never know, because phil immediately turned 90 degrees and ran into the food shop like a fat fuck instead of trying to answer the question he posed.
"I went to the movie land way early, we're not supposed to be here."
why not? why aren't you supposed to be here? the game let you in, so what makes you think you shouldn't be here?
"oh god, this place is wild now."
it is the exact same.
"you heard that right? gun fire?"
he then proceeds to get shot by a zombie, and for some reason, does not pick up the zombies gun.
for some bizarre reason, even though phil explained the game runs on a time system, he made an immediate bee-line for the movie theater and wanted to fight the Sean psychopath. he seems disappointed he can't do this. i have no idea why he even attempted it.
he is freaking out over the "lighting" in the park area and how amazing it is.
"I don't think this first run is going to be a good one. im not really looking for it to be a great run. i might do a second run, but it depends on you guys, if you like it.....if you wanna support it. if the support is lackluster I probably won't do a second run."
begging off-record now.
phil is NOT happy with the current amount of tips he has.
for some reason phil is not getting points for PP stickers and he's VERY unhappy about it. he has paused the stream to demand answers.
the issue was he was pushing his fat face as close to the PP sticker as possible which meant it wasn't in focus and didn't count.
he's seriously not doing anything. he's just running around the mall with a lawnmower in the north plaza right now. like he's quite literally not doing anything.
"so basically because I went where I am, I can't DO anything now."
then why did you go there?
he's getting view botted again, nearly 2k viewers. phil is currently addressing it on stream and giving the detractors the attention they're looking for.
i have to stress he is literally not doing ANYTHING. he is just walking through north plaza with a lawnmower killing zombies. that's it. he's not going anywhere or doing anything of value.
phil is angry he doesn't know what a book he picked up does because Otis called him. the idea of moving to the book in his inventory and reading it goes beyond him.
"I don't get it. does anyone know what's going on?"
no dude, I really don't. you're just running around north plaza, for no reason, fighting zombies. brad is being shot at by 600000 south Americans right now in the food court.
a zombie corpse glitches and flies across the screen at 3 miles an hour, phil does not notice.
uh, phil died. i have no idea why he did this, but he just fucking died. he literally just ran around fighting zombies until he died, with no attempt to save himself.
"so now I have to restart from like an hour ago."
he has been kicked back to before his lawnmower adventure.
the Remake added in a new tooltip that tells you what a book does before you pick it up, but they didn't count on phil running up and mashing the pick up button so hard you can't see what it is.
phil has found Cletus.
phil fired his megaman buster at Cletus expecting a giant burst of destructive energy, what he got was a ping-pong ball, cletus responded with a shotgun blast to the head.
phil managed to just barely kill Cletus because they made the remake much easier, unfortunately.
he is now raiding the gunshop.
"they keep taking health from me right away, it's very frustrating"
that's how getting damaged in video games works.
"the controls are bad"
he's button mashing and getting angry over it.
"I had to press it like ten times to get it to drop the magazine"
pretty sure you hold the button, you don't press it.
"I have two handguns, I don't know why, because I didn't pick that one up"
to be pedantic, you dropped the one with 23 bullets instead of the one with 30 bullets, so, technically, that's definitely the one you picked up. the one you "didn't pick up" woulda been the 30 bullet one. but that's just me noticin' shit.
"am I right in thinking this boss fight is pretty tough? i think it is."
him harping on this has led me to the conclusion that after Phil got MURDERED by Carlito in his first playthrough, him bee-lining the gun shop and weapons shop was no coincidence.
phil is riding the roller coaster in wonderland plaza, I didn't know you could do this.
phil doesn't focus his pictures, so everything he takes is big foot tier blurry photos. even more alarming is phil apparently took a picture by accident when he meant to use his gun.
he has beaten Carlito 1 with ease.
"someone in the chat asked, did the game get easier or did I just get better? i think it's a combination of both."
no, the game is significantly easier.
begging for 150 likes and more money.
"I was really hoping we'd start off this week strong, but I don't know. we're at 70 right now, it'd be great if we could get to 150 or at least closer."
phil is being chased around by Burt right now.
"I don't know how to save the survivors yet"
you literally saved 2 survivors, nancy and her fat fuck husband, an hour ago, what do you mean you don't know how? are you retarded?
phil is having trouble navigating the gym to find the save room, I ain't surprised he can't find his way around the gym.
"does anyone know where to go to save these people? i really don't know. i don't know how to get back to the starting area. i don't know how you save survivors. HOW DO I SAVE SURVIVORS?"
jesus fucking christ he's stupid. there is no doubt in my mind he has gotten dumber over the years some how, because he never said this shit in his original playthrough.
he's just looking at the map and mad dogging chat asking them how to get back to the survivor room.
phil is flabbergasted he can't go through a gate that is closed. like, it's clearly closed.
"uhhhhhhhh. why can't I go through here? it's still locked?"
phil is about to make the iconic Dead Rising mistake, he's trying to get back to the safe room by going through the Entrance Plaza hallway, you know, the safe room which we saw get blow torch sealed?
looks like a fan has warned him though. he did however miss the secret survivor in Paradise Plaza.
"they definitely improved the survivor AI because they are staying with me and they didn't used to, so maybe this is one of the big improvements they made. they fixed it. they totally fixed it."
the fat boy is pleased. keep this in mind for the future.
phil has encountered the convicts.
phil died within 45 seconds.
"ARE YOU SHITTING ME? THERE WAS NO CHANCE TO DO ANYTHING, THERE WAS LITERALLY NO CHANCE TO DO ANYTHING. this is stupid."
"oh my god, they gave me a checkpoint. thank you. as long as there's check points I'm not upset."
like I said, real aggressive auto-save. burt is dead btw.
he is now reloading because burt is dead.
"what the fuck, how did he even die? i was with him."
phil shot burt in the head point blank with a shotgun blast, that's how he died.
and here in lies where the gold might be. Phil can't fuck up too bad because of the aggressive auto-save, but if he gets autistic over saving everyone....things might get fun.
phil has managed to kill the convicts, I also want to note hs IS playing with streaming mode on, so no Gone Guru because he's a fag.
"this is so annoying. i need to save them all and save the game and then im out of time for this stream."
phil laments the fact this game doesn't have combo weapons, he claims it's the best part. i personally think combo weapons are awful and I'm objectively correct.
"they're getting held up AGAIN, this is ridiculous, come ON"
thought you said they fixed the survivor AI, phil? thought you said it was fixed?
phil has managed to save four more survivors, that puts us at 6 total out of a possible 49 for true ending, I believe. we'll see how it goes.
"I think the graphics are good, notably the character models look a lot better. lot more modernization. they definitely look better. the controls feel better. you don't feel like it's sluggish anymore. it's definitely easier to use guns, it plays like a modern game with guns now. it was very frustrating. that boss fight against Carlito was very significantly difficult in the original. it's still annoying the zombies grab you through stuff, like im pushing the lawnmower and they grab me anyway, but maybe they needed to maintain some level of the original difficulty....there's plastic on the floor...i don't know....story and everything looks the same. im having a good time with it so far and the survivor behavior is dramatically different."
basically his feelings boil down to "game looks better and is way way easier so im liking it a lot more."
modern remakes are definitely made as phil with the target audience. he's calling out how "incredibly helpful" it is that survivors scream at you about shit now.
"some might say the original game is too easy, that the original run is supposed to be really hard. i think some people might have a serious problem with that. i guess we'll see the further in that I play what I really think about it, but im liking it. im enjoying it a lot."
