DDP Yoga - Get Fit! Get Strong! Get Yelled At By Diamond Dallas Page!

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Internet War Criminal

Ladder Enthusiast
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
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9 de Dic, 2015
I have suggested this to so many people, and got so many chat comments and PMs about it. might as well make a thread


Yoga is some gay ass suburban mom shit I'm not gonna lose weight saluting the sun and shit. And yeah I might learn to balance but who gives a shit I won't get stronger.

You are right, yoga is terrible for weight loss. It's also terrible to get fit. Because that's not what yoga is about. Yes yes I know one annoying poster, you know someone who does Ashanti yoga in a sweat lodge for 3 hours and lost 10 pounds cares go drink some more soy latte faggot. That's not what we're talking about then.

DDP Yoga, what the fuck is that then?

To quote the blurb: "DDP Yoga is not traditional yoga, it’s a hybrid workout that incorporates
some traditional yoga movements and adds dynamic resistance, active breathing techniques and power movements to make for a more challenging and results oriented workout.

The main benefits are body fat loss, lean muscle growth, and improved cardio levels all without placing undue stress on the joints. A valid comparison to yoga is they both provide increased flexibility and core strengthening."

This is actually a pretty good description. Calling it yoga is more of just a shorthand to describe all of that shit up there. It's mostly about body weight exercises and some of them really involving cardio.

This came to be after Diamond Dallas Page got a bad injury in 1998 and decided he had to completely revamped the way he worked out and find a way that wouldn't put stress on his joints while maintaining and even growing in strength

Wait, Diamond Dallas Page? As in the wrestler?

Yes.

Does it really work?

Yes.

I have seen it work with customers I suggested it to (at the cost of losing customers because it thought it was a better fit for them and much cheaper), I've seen it work with friends and relatives and I've seen it with people from this forum as well. If they wanna share, all the better, too.

The most famous example of how it can change your life is this veteran named Arthur


This is what he looks like 18 months later

maxresdefault.jpg

There are tons of success stories you can find on his website

Man, I don't have hundreds of dollars to spend getting in shape.

All it's gonna cost you to begin with is $10-15 for a yoga mat. That's it. Just download that shit on Pirate Bay (the no-rar one) to try it out

Now, don't be a dick. If you try it out and you find that you like it and it works for you, go and buy it. If you are too poor to buy it now, then wait a couple of months and buy it when you can. $50 for a workout system you can do anywhere and that doesn't require any equipment is not much, especially considering how it could improve your life as well

What about a heart monitor?

Lol don't bother. Just give it you're all in you don't need a heart monitor to know you're sweating and struggling. If you want to buy one sure go ahead but after a couple of weeks you'll stop using it anyway

Ok fine it's really cheap but I'm so busy, those video games won't play themselves!

The four main sets that you will do in the first few months last between 20-45 minutes. Three times a week, throw in a 10 minute warmup and that's about an hour and a half to two hours and a half of your time. Much quicker than going to the gym.

Wait I'm not fat I don't want to lose weight how is this even relevant for me I'm just too poor for the gym

That's why:

https://sneed-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/49/25/0f/49250f2b838d856adf2df4a7d7616b0d.jpg

Become the supreme gentleman you were always supposed to be

dave_2.jpg


No, but really you will never grow as big as you would lifting in the gym and getting on roids but you can a real nice definition and a six pack if you're not fat and stick with it. I'd definitely suggest a 5x5 routine if you want to get buff but this is definitely enough for 90% of people who don't want to turn into gym rats
 
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Stuff about routines and my twist on the program that I'll fill in later and shit
-----
Before I write this section (nigga I got two jobs and I'm working on a third thing get off my dick I'll write it when I can I charge over a hundred bucks an hour for that shit irl) I'll go ahead and give those completely new to this a few tips:

You can either

1) follow the DDP program
or
2) follow my improved version of the program

If you want to follow 1) perfect, now fuck off.

IWC Improved DDP Yoga Program for Beginners

First week:

1 - Start with The Diamond Dozen.
The most important thing for you at this point is to become familiar with the poses because the actual workouts are fast-paced
2 - After a day of rest, do the TheDiamond Dozen again
Again, gotta learn the poses
3 - After of rest, do the Wake Up warmup, followed by The Diamond Dozen again.
The Wake Up is supposed to be a soft warm-up right after you wake up, but learn to use it to stretch out and get your body ready to jump into the routines that will be very demanding from the start. By this point you should be able to do all of the Diamond Dozen moves without hesitation. If you can, try and do them twice per segment instead of once as he's explaining them
4- Take two days off to recuperate


Notes: Now by the third you might be getting bit bored with The Diamond Dozen and feel like it's not a workout yet but it's actually really vital for you to master those because those routines move fast and you don't want to waste time thinking what you gotta do.

What you can do now for the last time (or last two times depending on how confident you are) is to try and fit in as many repetitions you can per segment. That should work a nice sweat on its own.

Wake Up modification: Fuck safety zone. Don't be a faggot. Whenever he goes into safety zone, go into half-dog and then down dog. When he comes out of it, go back to the mat with him.

Week Two
1- Wake Up with modification, then Diamond Dozen.
At this point you can probably fit in 3-4 times the moves per segment. If you feel confident you can do those moves without thinking about it you're ready to start. If not, one last time.
2- After a day of rest, Wake Up with modification then TD12/Energy
Energy will kick your ass. You'll fall, go holy shit, you'll sweat, it's gonna be a long ass 20 minutes but if you've mastered those moves it will go easier and you'll just struggle with how hard it is and not with implementing it
3- After a day of rest, Wake Up with modification then Energy
Get used to Energy.
4- Two days of rest

After a couple more times we will start adding other routines in rotation but this one is a mainstay, it's quick and really well rounded and especially good for beginners. Next up were gonna up to four workouts a week for those who feel ready.


I'll get one with future weeks soon (see previous note about having two jobs nigga, start already on this and stop complaining)
 
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DDP Yoga is fantastic, can't recommend it enough. But I really do think most people should get some sort of heart rate monitor for the workout, there's a 'sweet spot' when it comes to heart rate and you don't want it to be too high or too low. If it's too low you're not really accomplishing a whole lot, if it's too high you're at risk of damaging your circulatory system. This is especially important if your family has a history of heart disease. The guide tells you how to calculate the range you should stay within, it's really quite easy.

You'll probably stop wearing it once you can just innately tell, but having that metric to help you learn is crucial.
 
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I have a copy downloaded as my emergency measures if my health goes to shit.

Isn't this how Goldust got moving better than he ever did a few years back?
 
Yes

You shouldn't just keep it as a back up you can gain tons from it in terms of flexibility and use it on your recovery days too when not lifting
 
I've done regular yoga a good bit and I've been meaning to try DDP yoga since my wife has wanted to start doing a harder routine. If I'm doing 120 miles a week on my mountain bike (at about 60/40 between road and actual mountain rides) is there a way for me to set up the DDP program to help my recovery on off days?
 
No not really it's far too intense to be used as recovery when you use the actual program

What you could do is the warm-up workout to limber up, use it maybe twice and go through a few of the moves not covered (without dymanic resistance) that work on flexibility

It had the name yoga in it but it's actually a fairly intense body weight workout system
 
So it might be a better alternative for the weeks I can't ride due to weather or the bike being down for maintenance?
 
So it might be a better alternative for the weeks I can't ride due to weather or the bike being down for maintenance?
Oh yeah definitely

Especially the Below the Belt routine that works almost exclusively on your quads, hamstrings and calves

I still think you can work in the warm-up routine (I do it every day), and a couple of times + a few other moves on your rest days but yeah routines proper are very demanding
 
Wife and I started it lastweek, doing his schedule but not his diet (nutrition doesn't work that way, Dallas) changed up my riding schedule to ride on the rest days, wife just does her normal aerobics on the off days. Kicks your ass pretty good, but the energy jump is definitely there, the fat burner and red hot core programs are legitimately good exercise
 
oh yeah they are fantastic, glad to hear

and yeah i said nothing about his nutrition because lol shut up dallas just do your yoga stuff
 
Does DDP have anything to strengthen hips? I need to get back into running and my hips are shot to hell.
 
Yes, he has a few routines specifically for your legs and/or core

All of them will help you though
 
There was some nutrition thing? I don't think the copy I stole even included it lol.

It's all written in the paper manual. It's a lot of "Avoid GMOs, only buy organic meat and only eat steel cut oats!" bullshit. The entire section reads like a mommy blogger rant
 
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