DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Lapsus of the bepsus]

He'd just be a guy with no personality who is terrible at games. Who would watch?

with a positive attitude (lmao why even discuss a never gonna happen hypothetical like this) he might at least have something interesting to say about the games, as he has indeed played a lot of games in his kuhreer. the limiting factor would become his ginbrainedness and overall retardation

 

[Pargon]

with a positive attitude (lmao why even discuss a never gonna happen hypothetical like this) he might at least have something interesting to say about the games, as he has indeed played a lot of games in his kuhreer. the limiting factor would become his ginbrainedness and overall retardation

I think there is a significant amount of his personality that he withholds for a number of reasons. I’d guess “not getting deplatformed” is the big one, but he also very clearly is accustomed to being mocked for his likes/dislikes because he refuses to discuss them outside of his own terms. I really do think he’d have a larger audience; they’d be mostly all cunts just like him but it’s not as though he cares about that now.

I do agree that it’s extremely hard to imagine Phil as a positive person. That’s like asking someone to imagine the airspeed and lift of a winged elephant seal.

 

[Dr Pavel I'm CIA]

he might at least have something interesting to say about the games, as he has indeed played a lot of games in his kuhreer. the limiting factor would become his ginbrainedness and overall retardation

Not even true as he'll likely lie about them to make himself some sort of OG.

Not only is he retarded and ginbrained, he's also a pathological liar. He clearly doesn't go out enough to have any personality outside being that negative asshole.

Even his fat horse of a wife struggled to say what she likes in Phail.

 

[woc_krava]

In an imaginary world where Phil woke up tomorrow and decided to have a positive attitude about everything, would he actually lose viewers?

- no complaining about lack of support
- no claiming games are badly designed
- never blaming his losses on bugs or network code
- never calling his opponent unskilled or a button masher

He'd just be a guy with no personality who is terrible at games. Who would watch? At this point he's locked into being the lolcow who whines about everything.

I recognize this is probably not an original insight.

Somebody should just do a deep fake of Phil and be the polar opposite of him in gaming live streams. They should also use the Metokur name of "Bright Side Bob".

It would be so funny if they made more money in donations than Phil. Phil would seethe so much about that.

 

[GibMoneyPls]

Somebody should just do a deep fake of Phil and be the polar opposite of him in gaming live streams. They should also use the Metokur name of "Bright Side Bob".

It would be so funny if they made more money in donations than Phil. Phil would seethe so much about that.

Even better, make every stream a charity stream where half goes to a charity the Undents vote on. Also, Light Side Leroy works better because it has to be a black guy. Just being super over-positive about everything.

Oooh, oooooh! They gotta be gay too, and happily married to a dude. Just to show Phil how he could have at least been a little bit happier if he followed his heart.

It would work for a little while. But nothing outlasts Phil. The insanity of someone exactly like Phil existing is hard to reproduce. Thats what really keeps the crowd around.

 

[SilkyJohnson]

In an imaginary world where Phil woke up tomorrow and decided to have a positive attitude about everything, would he actually lose viewers?

- no complaining about lack of support
- no claiming games are badly designed
- never blaming his losses on bugs or network code
- never calling his opponent unskilled or a button masher

He'd just be a guy with no personality who is terrible at games. Who would watch? At this point he's locked into being the lolcow who whines about everything.

I recognize this is probably not an original insight.

I think Phil got in at the ground floor when it came to lets plays, so if he were the polar opposite, I could still see him retaining a fanbase of some sort. Without the constant pan handling, he'd be unable to sustain himself off of youtube alone so he'd need to have a job. Maybe in this alternate world he'd be the proud owner of the ole sandwich shop and streamed Street Fighter on the weekends, teaching the new generation some of the old meta from back in the arcade days.

Of course in reality, as you pointed out it is his narcissism and retardation that keeps him afloat. I fully believe we're quite lucky that he's the deformed, mentally stunted hermit that we know today. If he had some form of charm or charisma, good looks and any ambition, he would actually be a danger to others. Only his own ineptitude masks what an abhorrent, spiteful fuck he really is.

 

[Lei Wulong's Left Leg]

The thing about Phil turning over a new leaf is that we already have a good comparison of what it would look like: Aris, AKA AvoidingThePuddle. Aris is literally just a more successful DSP. Bolth:

• Are fighting game boomers who hate online play
• Hate their chat
• Go on long-winded rants and snca stories
• Are lazy as hell
• Are bad at video games despite being variety streamers
• Complain a lot
• Are slow to adapt new tech

And yet Aris is successful and Phil isn't.

 

[strandedcastaway]

We all know Phil hates memes and that everyone sits around making up memes about him and they're all wrong.

Yesterday though, him saying "weatherman is the one job where you get paid to be wrong" is the memeiest Boomer meme that ever was. Still, in a situation where the forecast was for "full sun" but it's cold and rainy, if you see that it's raining, say "Duh" then still go outside with no umbrella, walk around, then come back in soaked and complain about being cold and wet....it's not the weatherman that is the dumbass.

 

[King of Hateful Slurs]

The thing about Phil turning over a new leaf is that we already have a good comparison of what it would look like: Aris, AKA AvoidingThePuddle. Aris is literally just a more successful DSP. Bolth:

• Are fighting game boomers who hate online play
• Hate their chat
• Go on long-winded rants and snca stories
• Are lazy as hell
• Are bad at video games despite being variety streamers
• Complain a lot
• Are slow to adapt new tech

And yet Aris is successful and Phil isn't.

Aris can be funny on purpose and I've never heard him beg once that is the main difference. Also they both have gout kek

 

[Angry Shoes]

It Cums In Denim

 

[SwiftBucks]

I think there is a significant amount of his personality that he withholds for a number of reasons.

If he locked in on his original 2000s gamerbro persona he would have had more unironic fans. He would still be watchable if he turned off his filter, and he'd be one of the few in that niche. So many gold lines from those days: chicky chang wang, HELLO JEW! and of course Look out! It's a black woman!

The humor has its place, but he's a coward.

 

[Pargon]

If he locked in on his original 2000s gamerbro persona he would have had more unironic fans. He would still be watchable if he turned off his filter, and he'd be one of the few in that niche. So many gold lines from those days: chicky chang wang, HELLO JEW! and of course Look out! It's a black woman!

The humor has its place, but he's a coward.

“You know when he’s black there’s gonna be trouble” is a running joke in my household

 

[Baklava]

What really shoots Phil in the foot is his fake positivity, holier-than-thou attitude---the entire good boy schtick. He pretends he's changed, that there's been some kind of inspirational redemption arc for him. For whatever reason, he needs to believe that (or needs other people to pretend to believe it) to preserve his ego. Maybe he's just sick of Kat calling him an embarrassment. Maybe his parents said something last time he called them.

Right now, he's boring and soulless because he feels bored and uninspired, and all he cares about is money (and attention from retarded men who have it). Phil just needs to go mask off. People would at least respect the honesty of acknowledging how repugnant his personality is. If he were honest and said, "I just want you fucks to give me money; I hate you and I don't care, I'm never getting a job!" without pretending it's just a joke, he could probably at least get some findom guys to throw bucks at him. Who knows? Maybe he could mail out sweaty socks on the side.

Phil is a shameless whore. He wishes he was a hot woman so it didn't make him look like a huge fag. Milo Yiannopoulos is straighter than this nigga.

As much as Phil rails against the guys on Lolcow Live, he only gets money these days when he's a proper dancing monkey, but he's both too stupid and too proud to willingly do this, so dents have to engineer kino by withholding their money when Phil does something they don't like, because Phil also has oppositional defiance disorder.

Phil! You are stupid! Please just be an asshole. We know you are. You're not even good at pretending to be a good person.

That Street Fighter kino was great the other night. He had some fire in him for once. Too bad the only way to get him there is to keep his daily income in the double digits. I wanna see how he handles six or seven straight streams of 50-80 bucks. How long before he just loses it?

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Even his fat horse of a wife struggled to say what she likes in Phail.

She likes being here with... Phil

 

[weliveinaMeritocracy]

Another year. Another 4th place finish for the pig roach. His LOTY chances are done for.

 

[SwiftBucks]

What really shoots Phil in the foot is his fake positivity, holier-than-thou attitude---the entire good boy schtick.

His on screen persona sucks and he's terrified of being himself. I don't know if anyone else has seen The Disaster Artist but that scene where Wiseau absolutely refuses to play the villain in theatre class, that's Phil. He's got thousands of hate watchers, entire channels dickriding his content, this entire subforum is basically a fanclub, we know his deep cuts better than the dents. But he can't accept being the heel.

 

[Lady Adjani]

If he locked in on his original 2000s gamerbro persona he would have had more unironic fans. He would still be watchable if he turned off his filter, and he'd be one of the few in that niche. So many gold lines from those days: chicky chang wang, HELLO JEW! and of course Look out! It's a black woman!

The humor has its place, but he's a coward.

I don't think you could get away with being *that* edgy nowadays, at least not on twitch / youtube, You need to be subtle and funny, something Mr. Phillipe "pyjama pants at noon" Burnell is incapable of, as his humor has never evolved past the poo poo kaka level.

He could enable text-to-speech donations and rake in thousands, just sit there and let people insult you and your mongoloid wife for $5 a pop. But because he's a bitch he'd just skip everything and go back to panhandling like a literal bum, because that's so much more dignified.

 

[SwiftBucks]

I don't think you could get away with being *that* edgy nowadays, at least not on twitch / youtube,

No, definitely not. He'd have to move to some third rate service or go indie, which shouldn't be an issue for sussessful business degree holder Burnell.

 

[Optimus Crime]

His on screen persona sucks and he's terrified of being himself. I don't know if anyone else has seen The Disaster Artist but that scene where Wiseau absolutely refuses to play the villain in theatre class, that's Phil. He's got thousands of hate watchers, entire channels dickriding his content, this entire subforum is basically a fanclub, we know his deep cuts better than the dents. But he can't accept being the heel.

The thing is is that he naturally is a piece of shit narcissistic douchebag. Zero self-awareness about it. He unironically believes he does everything correct and that the world just arbitrarily chooses someone to be the heel.

 

[Eekum Bokum]

The “why didn’t Jaha finish the job” works on so many levels. Do you (the person reading, not OP necessarily) remember how scared you were to take your first punch? To break your first limb, or fuck, go beyond physical injury, just do something you know is going to suck but have no frame of reference? And then it happens and you acknowledge the suck but you now also have perspective you didn’t have before.

Phil has none of that. Phil has an adulthood of an absolute dearth of that. So every potential blow whether it’s physical or emotional or mental has the outsider’s perspective to him. When you never got Two For Flinching during freshman gym all year, everything makes you flinch.

I fractured my elbow a few years ago for the first time and whenever i stumble over my own feet i get a Vietnam flashback, it's horrible. Jaha was the closest Phil has ever gotten to feeling the consequences for his actions and he pissed himself crying like a bitch. Didn't even try to fight back, didn't take a swing and go down like a man nope just cry like a bitch so your not even worth a beatdown. Like how pathetic of a person do you have to be to have 2 separate people who want to kick the shit out of you both come to the same conclusion that you aren't worth it.