Manwithn0n0men
kiwifarms.net
- Registrado
- 19 de Ago, 2019
@FROG
I read your book you magnificent bastard
First I want to give anyone on the farms an HONEST OPINION on this book
@UndeliveredCrowdfundMaste So Cuck did you get your books?
I read your book you magnificent bastard
First I want to give anyone on the farms an HONEST OPINION on this book
Chromium cover is very pretty and [in some respects] whomever did the binding on this for you has done I think the best binding of any one of these books I have gotten. The spine feels weird when I put my finger over it. Weird like having a spot you burned on the inside of your mouth and you know you shouldn't touch it but you keep touching it. Its not a bad weird but it keeps making me do it.
The "Ruined pages" is kind of weird. Like I didnt really notice it till I held it a certain way. If I was a collector and not a filthy savage who believes comics are read and enjoyed that might bother me more.
Kyle is worth every dollar you pay him and then some. While your art is good, even great in places Kyle takes you to a higher level. Frankly the Mainstream Comics if they were going to take one person from Comicsgate into their circle of talent to produce work it would be Kyle.....he is that good. Which makes me excited for Starblazers.
The Bill Clinton thing: People are confused because that section there [I will get to that in a moment] has a lot of stuff going on. I was confused when I saw snippits of the book in videos.
The Story:
This is where the fault lies. But you are alot like George Lucas in the Prequels. You wanted someone else to come in and do the writing for you.....
I know you got cecil writing your next joint [And that one isnt your pride and joy] but if you have to write a story again let me give you your pointers
#1) You need a bit better of a structure
the first Half to 60% of the book was setting up the fundamentals. Realistically you could have done that in a lot less
1. Ship from an alien race shows up to warn/save earth from an invading alien species
2. It wanted to transform a human into earths protector but was unable to do so
3. It had to do that to a frog and salamander
You needed to put more into establishing cyberfrog and Heather's relationship as it seems to be where the heart of the story is.
AT MOST you needed 3 pages to do that. All the Lore stuff you put in there is neat and everything but thats not whats interesting.
What it should have been (in my opinion)
Cyberfrog is in the 90s on earth, the Invasion happens and he and Salamandroid have an AWESOME battle , their MOM is taken out, Cyberfrog fights valiently but falls into the river and slowly recovers. THEN you need to have someone else in the future come to save Cyberfrog because earth being invaded by hostile aliens isnt enough. Maybe the big aliens are about to launch the hive to another world and they have the chance to save other worlds and put a stop to them now. Heather's Daughter and Sal have to run the risk of leaving the isolated human survivors to reactivate Cyberfrog......and they do and the Swarm is there in force to stop them and thats where you cut off the story for the cliff hanger.
You waste a lot of time with indulgences in back story [especially since you are going to re-release all the old cyberfrog books]
Now having READ it.....its not as bad as the negative reviews make it out to be. Its a bad writing thing [But not as bad as Ren's writing LOL] but you want some one else to write on the next comic. It hurts your visual storytelling in places (the lack of a coherent story structure).
When I read Jawbreakers I was struck with a story that was very conservative and didnt go deep enough on what its writing was. YBZ kind of was insecure in writing that book. This story seemed to be [In my opinion] you wanting to introduce the comic that started you as a Pro to the world. And it didnt feel like you were engaged in the story beyond doing that.
You sold me on Cyberfrog on your charm and charisma. When it comes to the next book my big concern will be [Unless you dont do RB next] is how good a writer IS cecil. I'm not going to buy for your and Kyle's AMAZING art alone. While you neg the shit out of him JDA is a Journeyman writer. His stories dont set the world on fire BUT they deliever consistently good work. He has some of the most polished writing of any of these books. His art is never as good as his writing. IF you guys could get over your egos I think you could deliever a tip top book. I expect YBZ to level up his writing game (and a lot of the other writer lead projects). You need to find the next writing talent. He doesnt need to be an Ace out of the gate but he needs to deliver solid and consistent work. And that guy may not be Cecil.....but you need to find a good writing partner.
Because without a Stan to your Jack ......you arent going to make magic happen. Morrison and Johns were both good talents for you to partner with and you need to find the guy to do that for this phase of your creative life.
The "Ruined pages" is kind of weird. Like I didnt really notice it till I held it a certain way. If I was a collector and not a filthy savage who believes comics are read and enjoyed that might bother me more.
Kyle is worth every dollar you pay him and then some. While your art is good, even great in places Kyle takes you to a higher level. Frankly the Mainstream Comics if they were going to take one person from Comicsgate into their circle of talent to produce work it would be Kyle.....he is that good. Which makes me excited for Starblazers.
The Bill Clinton thing: People are confused because that section there [I will get to that in a moment] has a lot of stuff going on. I was confused when I saw snippits of the book in videos.
The Story:
This is where the fault lies. But you are alot like George Lucas in the Prequels. You wanted someone else to come in and do the writing for you.....
I know you got cecil writing your next joint [And that one isnt your pride and joy] but if you have to write a story again let me give you your pointers
#1) You need a bit better of a structure
the first Half to 60% of the book was setting up the fundamentals. Realistically you could have done that in a lot less
1. Ship from an alien race shows up to warn/save earth from an invading alien species
2. It wanted to transform a human into earths protector but was unable to do so
3. It had to do that to a frog and salamander
You needed to put more into establishing cyberfrog and Heather's relationship as it seems to be where the heart of the story is.
AT MOST you needed 3 pages to do that. All the Lore stuff you put in there is neat and everything but thats not whats interesting.
What it should have been (in my opinion)
Cyberfrog is in the 90s on earth, the Invasion happens and he and Salamandroid have an AWESOME battle , their MOM is taken out, Cyberfrog fights valiently but falls into the river and slowly recovers. THEN you need to have someone else in the future come to save Cyberfrog because earth being invaded by hostile aliens isnt enough. Maybe the big aliens are about to launch the hive to another world and they have the chance to save other worlds and put a stop to them now. Heather's Daughter and Sal have to run the risk of leaving the isolated human survivors to reactivate Cyberfrog......and they do and the Swarm is there in force to stop them and thats where you cut off the story for the cliff hanger.
You waste a lot of time with indulgences in back story [especially since you are going to re-release all the old cyberfrog books]
Now having READ it.....its not as bad as the negative reviews make it out to be. Its a bad writing thing [But not as bad as Ren's writing LOL] but you want some one else to write on the next comic. It hurts your visual storytelling in places (the lack of a coherent story structure).
When I read Jawbreakers I was struck with a story that was very conservative and didnt go deep enough on what its writing was. YBZ kind of was insecure in writing that book. This story seemed to be [In my opinion] you wanting to introduce the comic that started you as a Pro to the world. And it didnt feel like you were engaged in the story beyond doing that.
You sold me on Cyberfrog on your charm and charisma. When it comes to the next book my big concern will be [Unless you dont do RB next] is how good a writer IS cecil. I'm not going to buy for your and Kyle's AMAZING art alone. While you neg the shit out of him JDA is a Journeyman writer. His stories dont set the world on fire BUT they deliever consistently good work. He has some of the most polished writing of any of these books. His art is never as good as his writing. IF you guys could get over your egos I think you could deliever a tip top book. I expect YBZ to level up his writing game (and a lot of the other writer lead projects). You need to find the next writing talent. He doesnt need to be an Ace out of the gate but he needs to deliver solid and consistent work. And that guy may not be Cecil.....but you need to find a good writing partner.
Because without a Stan to your Jack ......you arent going to make magic happen. Morrison and Johns were both good talents for you to partner with and you need to find the guy to do that for this phase of your creative life.
@UndeliveredCrowdfundMaste So Cuck did you get your books?
