Clarkson's Farm - Amazon Prime series about the most inept farmer... in the world

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What's up with the weather on that god forsaken island? One year there's drought, then endless rain, now TB. Is god trying to say something?
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The British isles receives the brunt of moist air from the Atlantic. This means our climate is more temperate than the likes of Norway and we receive less snow, but our relatively flat terrain means we have no mountains to catch/block storms/cold air hence a shit ton of rain and gloom that the UK is typically known for. Mountains force air upwards meaning any rain gets dumped on one side whilst the other is spared, or it gets colder and freezes near the top, hence why Sweden gets less rain than Norway, or why Iceland is mostly just cold but gets little rain.

Once you see the connection between the movement of water, wind, and geography, you can kind of see why everything is the way it is. The Alps prevent hot air from the Med/Africa from reaching into Germany, but the small gap between Spain and the Alps allows the French to get a decent warm climate in the South which the rest of the country gets a taste off but to a lesser degree. This is also why south England gets a touch nicer weather as a pleasant side effect, but the collision of moisture and cold air from the North sea with this little bit of warm air means we can (and do) get a lot of rain and storms too. The hills in Scotland and mountains in Norway also help shield central and Eastern Europe from moisture, but they also receive very little warm air due to mountain ranges in the Balkans and Anatolia and being so far inland that any do they get from other sources (such as travelling along the flat terrain of Northern France and Germany) has cooled down by the time it reaches them.

It's all rather interesting... if you're autistic.
 
Series 5 | Official Trailer
https://youtube.com/watch?v=GJxPc3B2osUClarkson's Farm returns to Prime Video on the 3rd of June.
I hope they don't talk about the pub anymore. It's called Clarkson's Farm, not Clarkson's Pub, and while I understand the pub culture is important in the UK, the place seemingly ended up being more of a family restaurant than a local pub with decent side dishes.
 
I hope they don't talk about the pub anymore. It's called Clarkson's Farm, not Clarkson's Pub, and while I understand the pub culture is important in the UK, the place seemingly ended up being more of a family restaurant than a local pub with decent side dishes.
twas the only way to make farm to table profitable i'm afraid. i'd like to know its at least mildly successful and if so, if other farmers have been able copy it.
 
twas the only way to make farm to table profitable i'm afraid. i'd like to know its at least mildly successful and if so, if other farmers have been able copy it.
It's not really practical, Jeremy had to spend a fortune setting up the place and even then it was a money sink that maybe will return the cost in a decade, and that's with his advantage of publicity. A normal farmer will have to risk taking a massive loan and need to compete with corporate bars to make a profit, with the pub location being a big issue (close to the farm means no business, far from the city means massive loss on transportation).

An actual solution would mean the UK government step in and massively limit/tax food imports to make buying from British farmers the only viable option. But that's way too unpopular politically to happen.

Starting a popular sentiment to buy only UK produce is just doomed to fail for politically sperg reasons.
 
It's not really practical, Jeremy had to spend a fortune setting up the place and even then it was a money sink that maybe will return the cost in a decade, and that's with his advantage of publicity. A normal farmer will have to risk taking a massive loan and need to compete with corporate bars to make a profit, with the pub location being a big issue (close to the farm means no business, far from the city means massive loss on transportation).

An actual solution would mean the UK government step in and massively limit/tax food imports to make buying from British farmers the only viable option. But that's way too unpopular politically to happen.

Starting a popular sentiment to buy only UK produce is just doomed to fail for politically sperg reasons.
Half the show is Jeremy basically flexing his wealth and how even with it and Amazon farming in the UK is fucking Sisyphean. The other half is Jeremy fucking around on Amazon’s dime because he is a good presenter and can genuinely make a lot entertaining because Jeremy knows how to create chemistry with basically anyone.

Sincerely, the dynamic with Charlie is great because it’s Jeremy letting Charlie have his platform.

The issue with the UK is that they have to import food. They have always had to. The World Wars hit them hard because depopulation and because of limited farm land. The other issue is that the British have really retarded powers given to town councils (basically the farm shop problems in season 1) and are insanely anti-business if you aren’t in London.
 
Half the show is Jeremy basically flexing his wealth and how even with it and Amazon farming in the UK is fucking Sisyphean. The other half is Jeremy fucking around on Amazon’s dime because he is a good presenter and can genuinely make a lot entertaining because Jeremy knows how to create chemistry with basically anyone.

Sincerely, the dynamic with Charlie is great because it’s Jeremy letting Charlie have his platform.

The issue with the UK is that they have to import food. They have always had to. The World Wars hit them hard because depopulation and because of limited farm land. The other issue is that the British have really retarded powers given to town councils (basically the farm shop problems in season 1) and are insanely anti-business if you aren’t in London.
The issue with the UK is that the government wants people in London to eat cheap no matter what, while also refusing to reduce their bureaucracy. So the non corporate farmer is fucked on all fronts:
* He needs to compete with imported food prices from countries that have slave labour and zero regulations and barely any tariffs.
* He needs to work with insane government regulations that only increased and didn't update in 50 years.
* He gets barely anything from the government to keep him afloat.
* He consistently gets fucked by greens and councils that think that without farmers the fields will still stay green.

Putting in tariffs and reducing regulations will immediately improve things for the farmers, but will come at the cost of a big increase in cost of food for Londoners, so it will never happen. But at the way things are going, any conflict in Europe will massive increase costs (if not outright prevent importing) and high food prices will be the least of the UK's problems as people starve.
 
The issue with the UK is that the government wants people in London to eat cheap no matter what, while also refusing to reduce their bureaucracy. So the non corporate farmer is fucked on all fronts:
* He needs to compete with imported food prices from countries that have slave labour and zero regulations and barely any tariffs.
* He needs to work with insane government regulations that only increased and didn't update in 50 years.
* He gets barely anything from the government to keep him afloat.
* He consistently gets fucked by greens and councils that think that without farmers the fields will still stay green.

Putting in tariffs and reducing regulations will immediately improve things for the farmers, but will come at the cost of a big increase in cost of food for Londoners, so it will never happen. But at the way things are going, any conflict in Europe will massive increase costs (if not outright prevent importing) and high food prices will be the least of the UK's problems as people starve.
The other issue is that the UK wants farmers to modernize, but effectively can’t fucking help them do it. They demand they do it, but do it in a way that effectively punishes them for attempting it.

I do know some farmers irl and a lot of the “Next Gen farming” shit to them is literally a gamble. The spraying drones are interesting, but a lot of them see it as a boondoggle. The maintenance, operation, and supply lines for parts make it look like it’s better not to invest. A lot of the Green Farming ™️ is literally just a product series. There’s nothing environmentally conscious about it beyond some faggot politician pushing it.
 
The other issue is that the UK wants farmers to modernize, but effectively can’t fucking help them do it. They demand they do it, but do it in a way that effectively punishes them for attempting it.

I do know some farmers irl and a lot of the “Next Gen farming” shit to them is literally a gamble. The spraying drones are interesting, but a lot of them see it as a boondoggle. The maintenance, operation, and supply lines for parts make it look like it’s better not to invest. A lot of the Green Farming ™️ is literally just a product series. There’s nothing environmentally conscious about it beyond some faggot politician pushing it.
In a sane country it would be done by having a large fund by the government with a panel of (actual) experts to go farmer to farmer and buying him the innovation and teaching him how to use it.

Modern UK probably fines you if you don't use it or fucks you up in the energy bill if you do (and assuming it actually increases productivity).

How is corporate farming in the UK? In the USA it's infamous for causing a lot of the unnecessary regulations.
 
I watched the 4 episodes last night, here are some observations:

-I'm glad they didn't make a spectacle of Clarkson's heart problems. It is, inevitably, brought up all the time as it interferes with the workings of the farm and anything he does, but his potato cutter accident in S2 probably took more screen time than the potentially fatal health problem;
-Way less pub coverage than expected (this is a good thing);
-Lisa's sidequests are more fun to watch than I remembered, the fact that her planning skills and patience are on par with Jeremy's just adds fuel to the fire;
-The growing trend of celebrity appearances is starting to test my patience. At least Andy Cato had a reason to be there back in S3. Way too much time was spent on hobnobbing with the Corrs;
-The farmer protests were nice. Some people were worried about far-right infiltration, but don't seem to notice the fact that, to the London elite, they are the dangerous elements that need watching out for;
-The Christmas Grotto was generally wholesome, but could have been more if Jeremy had waived the payment and just given away a few hundred pounds of small gifts instead of charging 10 Britbucks per visit; after all, it is implied that, due to Clarkson's very special brand of mathematics, all it did was reduce loss, not generate profit.
-Kaleb's ignorance of the outside world is a bit overplayed in general, so it was fun seeing him school Jeremy on agricultural machinery instead of being dumbfounded by celebrity/news trivia;
-Road trip, fuck yeah;
-Alan's back, and doing fine(ish); I like Gerald, and understand he's well loved by the people around him, but I get the impression that the producers are trying to push him as some sort of mascot;
-When "travellers" showed up at the pub in episode 4, I half-expected Jeremy to fulfill the dream of every European and reenact the bombing of Dresden against an encampment of gypsies/Irish travellers, but reality insists on being way less entertaining
-Sad to see the Sandy and Blacks gone, they are beautiful animals, and Jeremy genuinely liked them. At least Richard Ham is alive and doing well, according to a little research I did after episode 4
 
I finished Episode 2, and it's just not as entertaining as the first few seasons. two clebs so far, too much pub shit, not enough fun fun fun...
I think it's a good idea to make this the last season and be done with it.
 
Middle of episode 2 in the protest segment. Oh god it drags on, and it's weak as hell. No wonder nothing in the UK improves.

The pub itself becomes an example of diminishing social trust with thefts by jeets/gypsies, workers just wrecking the place (probably also jeets) and the toilet getting destroyed (absolutely jeets).

Lisa's breeding adventures are fun.
 
Half way through episode 3...zero farming at the moment. It's just two gay men taking a trip to Belgium.
 
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