Best way to wipe your ass?

[Dill]

front to back or back to front

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

 

[Snuckening]

Side to side

 

[Retink]

If you swallow a plastic bag with bottom facing down before you eat it will just come out inside of the bag and you won't need to wipe. It's like lining your intestine with plastic.

 

[Penis Drager]

So what you do is you wipe back to front. "But what about my balls?" you may ask. It's simple, really.
What you do is you hook your scrotum by your middle finger (in my personal experience it's just the best one to use for this purpose) and lift. This displaces the testicles sufficiently so that you can wipe in this manner without any risk of poop balls.

One dumbass question that may be asked in response to this solution is "What if I'm female?"
The obvious answer: "Shut up, woman! nobody asked for your opinion!" followed by a firm but regulated slap on the cheek.

 

[Shidoen]

From Prostate to Tailbone.

 

[sarah.onlyfans]

Cottonelle wipes, front to back

 

[Santa Fe Swag]

I'm a traditionalist. I just use leaves.

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

I keep an ice cream scoop next to the toilet for maximum efficiency

 

[Captain Obvious]

Back to front, also standing up.

 

[disgustingcreature]

I have a technique where I take two fingers together, each one with a sheet of Charmin Ultra-Strong toilette paper individually wrapped around it, and spin my arm around back and forth in a drilling motion so the two fingers get the full radius of my special hole, or my grundle if I'm being neurotic. Back and forth only because I cannot personally do a full 360 degree motion with my forearms. Your sister hates it.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Have ny maid do it.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I use a mussel shell like our ancestors did.

 

[Mr. Bung]

If Eurofags are doing at least one thing right, I'd say it's their use of the bidet.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

In a clockwise semi circle

 

[Manul Otocolobus]

I use a mussel shell like our ancestors did.

I thought our ancestors used the red corncob and the white corncob?

If Eurofags are doing at least one thing right, I'd say it's their use of the bidet.

I have to agree. For a little water, you can save many trees in a sloppy shart situation.

 

[Mister Uno]

Squat over the toilet. Your ass will spread enough to where you dont need to wipe. You're welcome.