Great to see that Phil is keeping his white trash heritage alive and well by partaking in the trashiest of white trash traditions with his ugly, poorly drawn tattoos. He's a sweat stained wife beater, puffy trucker hat, and rusted out 1975 Camaro up on cinder blocks short of being full-goose redneck.
And that cheap-ass tactical gear has my sides in orbit! It's absolute garbage. It isn't even airsoft or paintball-tier quality, let alone combat grade. Basically all it's good for is for kids to play dress up or Halloween. But then again, all Phil is doing is playing dress up. What do you expect from a guy who thinks the mall ninja crap and fantasy wall-hangers he buys are real weapoms? He's basically wearing a "tacti-cool" black fanny pack, only Phil would look like less like a mouth-breathing mongo wearing a fanny pack.
What a loser. And he wonders why everyone laughs at him and no one takes him seriously.