Amusing Engrish from Item Listings

[Aunt Carol]

Native speaker, I think. Not sure anyone needs a wholesale lot.

I really like their art style. I am not going to pay $20 for a 40-page staple-bound booklet, but I'm glad enough people are out there supporting small publishers.

 

[krazy orange cat]

Do they come in a pack of 60? 50? where do I get the pack of 100? Wait they're frogs? Well at least the resin is healthy.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Do they come in a pack of 60? 50? where do I get the pack of 100? Wait they're frogs? Well at least the resin is healthy.

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"A pack of 100 is enough for you." Did my mom write this caption?

This reads like the intersection of Engrish and AI. I'm also not convinced the ducks are "squeezable."

 

[Aunt Carol]

Ring of penis in the night


Multiple sperm locks and a fierce battle until dawn.


Masturbation and intense workouts
HORSE EYE CAKE TIDE
Twist and turn Specializes in glans

 

[Ventrue]

Love is...
a snowmobile racing across the tundra
and then it flips over,
pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come.

I now know what love is and that soft facial tissues can be used against those predatory ice weasels.

 

[Aunt Carol]

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Love is...
a snowmobile racing across the tundra
and then it flips over,
pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come.

I now know what love is and that soft facial tissues can be used against those predatory ice weasels.

I'd really like to know how the manufacturer arrived at that quote.

It's attributed to Nietzsche--but by Matt Groening, who made it up for one of his Life in Hell books.

 

[Pepe Cortisona]

Multiple sperm locks and a fierce battle until dawn

...multiple sperm locks were had, and yet, the fierce battle lasted until dawn.

 

[Aunt Carol]

As soon as he appears, he exudes a C-position aura

 

[Aunt Carol]

Enhance Male Charm

Spoiler: teaching aid but very anatomical

Main Functions of Men


TRENDY AND CUTTING-EDGE ITEMS
ARE ALL WITHIN YOUR GRASP

 

[Ventrue]

today, mood
feel the warm.
in our daily life and the mood


DO YOU HAVE THESE TROUBLES?
Acne Skin Itching Too Much Horny
Help you solve the above problems!


LAUGHS
As the face that laughs
is able to see it...
the gay voice of everyone

 

[Aunt Carol]

Highly elastic tensile test is not afraid of pulling good things



you will believe nipple orgasm is REAL
this is good English and/or it was stolen directly from a movie poster; still funny

 

[Ventrue]

Breathe in your ears
Not to my ears, fresh
and transparent

Interpretation of a more user-friendly way to wear;so
that the headset automatically adapt the shape of
the auricle makes it comfortable to wear all day


To confuse falsehood with truth


Description

Obsidian Citrine 8mm + steel Crystal Bracelet
Legend grows a mouth, looks like a golden plaque, scaly shape like a unicorn, having
a mouth without a butt, swallowing everything without diarrhea. You can recruit eight
squares of wealth, you can gather treasure, you can only enter, the magical power.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Excellent collection!

Legend grows a mouth, looks like a golden plaque, scaly shape like a unicorn, having
a mouth without a butt, swallowing everything without diarrhea. You can recruit eight
squares of wealth, you can gather treasure, you can only enter, the magical power.

I can solve part of this mystery! The animal bead is a Pixiu, a Chinese mythological creature that's sort of like a runty dragon. It eats precious metals and gems, and God once spanked it so hard that its butthole permanently sealed up.

Naturally this makes the Pixiu an auspicious symbol; it's more and more full of wealth and never loses any.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Express your love for cat
You are the cutest one in the party


LET YOU RESHAPE YOUR HEALTHY


Special (Camellia scent)
Exquisite girl finger muscle incense
After care hand armor fragrance 4-6 hours


Dead skin and horny skin will not be rubbed
Essential Oil Exfoliating Nail Pen

 

[krazy orange cat]

SAFET YELECTRIC SCISSOR
Safty lock


CUT ANYTHING YOU WAND


4V ELECTRIG FABRIG SCISSOR

 

[Aunt Carol]

SAFET YELECTRIC SCISSOR
Safty lock

 

[Coo Coo Bird]

CUT ANYTHING YOU WAND

Shoulda got this for Cobra.

 

[Aunt Carol]

(it's just Spanish)

 

[plgfarts]

Not so much Engrish, but this made me laugh pretty good when I saw it.

The despair the bottom child is feeling due his toy car not having eyes. The color has drained from his world. His face, buried in his hands to hide his anguish. The teddy bear realizing there is no consoling this poor, non-eye-toy-having-ass kid.

 

[Aunt Carol]

The teddy bear realizing there is no consoling this poor, non-eye-toy-having-ass kid.

This is hilarious. All he wants is eyeballs!

I do note that the non-eye-having toys are better--it's a whole bunch of diggers with moveable scoops! Even if the eyeball trucks' barrels spin, that's nothing like a scoop. But no eye stickers