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I have put down about 3 liters of lager a day for at least 20 years, consistently. Not much more but not much less.. I know a few real alcoholics and I don't count myself among them; I don't hide it or lie about it or feel shame about it, but I definitely abuse alcohol. As someone said earlier in this thread it's an effective but expensive coping mechanism (in terms of life expectancy).. When I choose not to drink, I don't drink, but so far I inevitably eventually choose to go back to it. I do not miss work, I keep up on my obligations. I'm not dealing with childhood trauma, I don't have it that bad overall. I do a job others shy away from, I thrive in it. I have very few real but fierce friends. People exhaust me, but many people confide in me. I am always thinking, remembering, trying to solve problems. I only experience silence when I'm deep in the woods. Alcohol temporarily turns down the noise otherwise.
I do not know what happens next or what will happen eventually. I will try to figure it out.
Always starts as band aid. You're okay, you're loved by someone. People tire me too, but a quiet mind can be acquired without alcohol. The noise only gets louder with it. Just give it a try for a week?
I have put down about 3 liters of lager a day for at least 20 years, consistently. Not much more but not much less.. I know a few real alcoholics and I don't count myself among them; I don't hide it or lie about it or feel shame about it, but I definitely abuse alcohol.
I was the same, but with wine in the end (I can't drink much beer without feeling bloated and shitty), and an extra decade. I was putting away a couple of bottles if wine a night, plus whiskey on the weekends (especially a few morning whiskeys).
I never really felt shame, except that all the bottle shops in town knew me as a regular. In the end though, it became difficult to have a night off. I have 10 years of drinking on you, but I think it would have been much easier to stop after 20 years.
If you're thinking about stopping, today is better than tomorrow, even if it's just for a month or a year.
Eh, it's more of a storytelling and creativity thing. Some degree of sobriety is necessary for complex plots. I don't play, but my brother does and it sounds great.
Eh, it's more of a storytelling and creativity thing. Some degree of sobriety is necessary for complex plots. I don't play, but my brother does and it sounds great.
On an unrelated note I've looked into this relatively popular normie app here for making friends and I swear 4/5 couple posts are "board games and d&d". Really seems like the most lukewarm way to hang out with people. "I love board games" is the most vague of hobbies but also better than "going for walks".
Anyway. Man, the growing heat is making it tough not to want to drink. The only thing holding me back is the fear of drinking to the point it actually becomes a problem. The whole "you call that addiction? I've sucked dick for crack". I can and want to stop drinking, others barely entertain the notion. I should just, balls up.
I've had attempts at breaking sobriety ruined by the store being out or closed on holidays. There's a single store open in the other end of the town and I had no car at the time, so instead of taking it as His will, I went "nah bruv" and biked an hour to/from in heavy snow just to get drunk. That shit was a fucking low point.
Once drinking becomes literal labor it's beyond the molecule of fun it might otherwise have been. I had 3 heavy beers for the first time in probably years on a warm day. The second the taste hit my tongue it lost all appeal and at that point I fought through every sip, unsure whether I'd even get drunk. Whole thing was misery. I swear the few times I've had beers at a party, I've socialized so much I never got buzzed, simply from thinking "oh yeah im drunk time to talk to people".
I saw a post on reddit ages ago about how the redditor makes his own kombucha because drinking it "scratches the itch" of wanting to drink something pungent and powerful. I found that white wine vinegar scratches that itch for me. I will have an entire tablespoon of the stuff, and I actually enjoy it. It also settles my stomach, because oftentimes acid reflux and discomfort can actually be caused by a lack of acidity in the gut. Hence the recent apple cider vinegar craze.
I also enjoy having white wine vinegar diluted in water, might add more stuff and make some posca.
I'm just now realizing that I'm making mocktails like Patrick Tomlinson, but at least my coping mechanism doesn't involve grinding nigglets into niggeronni!
Apparently, balsamic vinegar made the traditional way might scratch that itch too. It's supposed to be good on everything from cheese, to strawberries, to vanilla ice cream. Might invest some of the saved money and saved calories into this.
Go to bed several hours before everyone else because they all caved to the social pressure to go party. Wake up stupid early and have the entire slope and its pristine powder snow to yourself. No chance of accidentally impaling someone's toddler while moving at warp speed. Yeah, I like where this is going.
I've looked into this relatively popular normie app here for making friends and I swear 4/5 couple posts are "board games and d&d". Really seems like the most lukewarm way to hang out with people. "I love board games" is the most vague of hobbies but also better than "going for walks".
I have tried those normie apps before and had a blast making friends while playing board games and going for walks. You won't believe how much more fun it is to have conversations in nature while not having an alcohol-atrophied brain.
I have tried those normie apps before and had a blast making friends while playing board games and going for walks. You won't believe how much more fun it is to have conversations in nature while not having an alcohol-atrophied brain
It reads like Tinder all the same. Women posing with requirements, dudes begging for attention and roughly half the posts are just "me 54 friend?"
It does seem more appealing, able to hit up people with no romantic attraction or expectations, but the app is clearly for outcasts. Half are early retirees and the other got tens of diagnosis.
And nobody reacts or replies, just like dating apps.
Anyway: Working weekends kills the drinking urge quite a bit. It really is just a boredom thing just like eating.
Ohh that doesn't sound too great. The site I was thinking of was MeetUp, where anybody can organize events, and anybody with an account can say they're showing up. Usually, about 1/3 of people who show up actually show up, but it's a good way to meet other people who are actually determined to make friends, and not just 54-year-old losers who WANT WOMAN.
If MeetUp has gone under, there must be some alternatives out there.
I'm close to 8 months now, never had one urge to drink since I started. I've even had a few sips of some friends' drinks just to taste them and had zero urge to continue. It's kinda wild how much I've changed
Been listening to Scarcity Brain by Michael Easter and there's some good brain science in there about addiction. In no particular order:
Surveys indicate ~86% of people with substance abuse issues get clean within 10 years. This is contrasted against clinical data in part because clinicians are disproportionately exposed to particularly bad, long-term or persistent cases as a matter of course; they don't see the people who succeed in getting clean on their own. Which means recovery is most likely a lot more achievable, and a lot more often achieved, than the science would otherwise indicate.
The perception of alcoholism or addiction as an incurable disease is a significant contributor to relapse. Whether or not you believe it's the case, there's a very real chance that that perception may backfire, so be aware of that. Once again, if you're in need of an alternative program that doesn't tell you you're powerless and incapable of controlling yourself, SMART Recovery exists.
Several famous animal studies on substance and behavioral addiction, for example the one with the rodents that keep pulling a lever and doing coke until they starve to death and the one with the pigeons that prefer a randomized payout to a consistent one, fail to be reproduced when the animals are taken out of laboratory environment and placed in a natural habitat with ample space. This blew my fucking mind and draws obvious comparisons to Jambi Calhoun's NIMH rodent experiments, as well as that experiment where people left in a room with nothing to do but shock themselves will shock themselves just to have something to do. Easter attributes the phenomenon to the perception of scarcity, for example the perceived scarcity of space or security triggering an urge to consume, because that's his larger thesis; whether that's accurate or not I don't know or really care, you could attribute it to any number of different hypotheses, I just think it's fascinating in itself and a good reason to avoid urban living.
According to neuroimaging studies, focusing on the long-term negative consequences of indulging in a given vice is actually pretty effective in curbing the urge/craving. Like, you can watch the brain activity subside in real time. Which is pretty cool. A lot of people in my recovery group, myself included, talk about various coping strategies they use that essentially amount to this so I believe it.
There's a lot more but that's what particularly stuck with me. Worthwhile listen so far.
Ohh that doesn't sound too great. The site I was thinking of was MeetUp, where anybody can organize events, and anybody with an account can say they're showing up. Usually, about 1/3 of people who show up actually show up, but it's a good way to meet other people who are actually determined to make friends, and not just 54-year-old losers who WANT WOMAN.
You don't even create an account, you just make a post and put on a picture, usually a selfie. So you could make one for friends, one for motorbiking buddies, etc. It's one long endless scroll with minimal filters, but even just the fact it's for friends instead of romances makes it all the more appealing. Like, your partner should be a good friend first, yet dating apps are always just "What I WANT; what you GOT; how many INCHES my gorilla groove DEMANDS!". I've been tempted to just blanket DM a bunch of people, seeing even good looking normies apparently lethally lonely, but chances are they'd be ghosted all the same.
It's friday, still no urge to drink, but I still miss the idea of drinking. A few hours out the window, play a bit, go to bed. But that's just not worth it. A bunch of my +55 yr old coworkers went to some big street party and the idea of just not being able to do that properly down the line is what keeps me from complete sobriety, but I have to choose it if I want to restrain myself. I don't even like being drunk in public, so..
My fine upstanding negro brethren, I am drunk at 10am on a saturday morning and nothing feels greater than this after a terrible week at work. The whole house is clean and all the laundry has been done. There's yard work to be done but it's more fun while pissed. I want this feeling to last forever, but I'm probably going to nod off and waste the whole day in a coma, waking up wretching and clutching the spot where my liver should be and claiming to never drink again. The cycle continues
My fine upstanding negro brethren, I am drunk at 10am on a saturday morning and nothing feels greater than this after a terrible week at work. The whole house is clean and all the laundry has been done. There's yard work to be done but it's more fun while pissed. I want this feeling to last forever, but I'm probably going to nod off and waste the whole day in a coma, waking up wretching and clutching the spot where my liver should be and claiming to never drink again. The cycle continues
I agree, and I'm sorry to inform you that you need to take up hobbies that girls like, or you'll never get a chance to meet and bond with them in person the way you want to.
I'm not sure what to say to this. That feeling of instant relief after feeling terrible is what got me hooked as well. All I know is that it's killing you and you should find a solution. Maybe you can quit your job and become the only local homeless guy not addicted to fentanyl?
I've felt a dull ache in that area before, over five years ago. Hoping it was just temporary fatty liver issues. Once it turns to full-blown cirrhosis there is nothing you can do. Even newfangled-oldfangled solutions like a 72 hour fast to trigger autophagy and digest your scar tissue becomes impossible, because cirrhosis-havers cannot fast.
This is what makes booze (and drugs) so addictive. You feel like shit, use the substance, and you do feel better. Until the comedown, and until those negative feelings return.
