Didn't drink last weekend; working this one, having parents over next. Hopefully this'll be the start of a good run. I've absolutely no urge to drink throughout the week other than friday/saturday night, and only one of those at a time, so it's hard to really relate to people itching for a handle tuesday noon. What I truly fear is getting to the point where staying sober is a daily challenge. I get the urge 1-2 days of 7 a week; if I can rid those precious weekend hours of the urge to basically waste an evening and a morning being hungover, I'm good.
Some of my best road biking experiences have been butt o'clock in the morning, seeing rabbits and pheasants run through dew-fresh nature. I'd sooner kms if given that option than to lay in bed hungover, but road biking is just such a fucking task. The clothing, the food, the maintenance. I hope getting a motorbike as per my current plans will make it easier. My dad quit drinking to bike and I've read others doing so as well. Sadly, it's a summer sport and the winter would still be dark.
I keep seeing people go "Ayo join a tabletop group" etc., but I just can't stand the thought of socializing in such a shallow manner. It's perfect for connecting with old friends but to make a fucking party game the basis of your group? AND without alcohol? Basically every day after work I'd probably accept an invitation to go do whatever. Fucking volunteering. But having to seek out and plan that on my own is not exactly scary but just a large undertaking. I know what community and club-life can do to a mf'er, but I just don't know which kind I'd want.
God I've done this to my mum, dad, sister, best mates and even the local post office manager at some point. And the shame of it was enough to at least make me severely cut back instead of quitting.
Read a story somewhere of a guy who went to a cafe with his friend and was told "you're not allowed here", literally forgetting having been drunk there and causing a ruckus. That shit must be life-long embarrassment and enough to go cold turkey alone.
Every social occasion involves booze, and there's something wrong with you when you're the odd cunt drinking lemonade or coke.
Yet, being so pigeon-holed as I, instantly thinking of other people in terms of career and financial success, it's one hell of a one-up to look at Mr CEO and think "poor guy has to lube his gears to talk to people?". I genuinely don't recall last alcohol made my socializing better. At my uni, I got so into talking before I was buzzed that I forgot to drink and never got drunk. I don't like being drunk in public to the point I feel actual embarrassment, which is why I do that shit alone at home. I'd love to stay sober so that others may have a good time, but sadly I've never been in a position to exercise this.
