Adult novelty items - Unnecessary things that just make life more fun - NO SEX TOYS, we have a thread for that

[Aunt Carol]

Arise, thread, and hear my reviews of HiSmile toothpaste flavors!

I never joined their toothpaste-of-the-month club, because I am only one woman with one mouth, even if they do let you save up credits. I did order a few more tubes when they were having a really deep sale, and I couldn't pass up the "mystery flavor" which ended up being old club flavors. This lady on eBay seems to resell club flavors, and is a better list of the weird and discontinued flavors than their actual website. (Man, "blackcurrant" and "custard" have me rethinking my non-subscribing ways.)

Getting on the HiSmile mailing list is worth it; they usually have something boring to say about a collaboration, or hyping the toothpaste club, but then they'll occasionally announce a sale with selected flavors for less than $5. I have no idea what they're thinking in Australia regarding toothpaste pricing and availability.

Biscuit Spread (limited edition): aka fake Biscoff. Agreeable; nice mellow cookie flavor, weird to have a "crunchy" flavor in toothpaste form. I'm not a huge Biscoff fan so it mostly had me thinking how great spekuloos cookie flavor would be. Biscoff (the actual cookie) has a similar flavor strength to graham crackers; it doesn't sock you in the mouth, but it's nice and you can put most things on it.

Candy Cane (limited edition): really good! I can't explain how it's not just mint, but it isn't. It's candy mint. If mint toothpaste always tasted like this I wouldn't be mail-ordering fancy toothpastes. I think they didn't explain this difference adequately in their copy, because the candy cane flavor is marked down a ton, and I see it all over reseller sites.

Energy Drink (limited edition): this tasted exactly like Red Bull, which I do not care for, so I'm glad I only got a sample size. They really should have caffeinated it and sold it to gamers.

Gingerbread (limited edition): nice flavor but nothing at all like gingerbread, sadly. Mostly cinnamon. It's the flavor of picking Jelly Belly cinnamon jelly beans out of a multi-flavor bag, while you stand in the chocolate place in the mall that made fudge so the air is kind of a cold chocolatey backdrop to everything.

I was disappointed because I really like gingerbread, and got my hopes up after how accurate the Biscoff was.

Also the tube design seems weirdly penile; this background downplays it. I don't know why they went with a pink tip.

Lucky Charms (limited edition): perfect flavor recreation, albeit I was raised by granola parents who only got to try Lucky Charms when it was in the multi-pack of mini cereals we took camping. They didn't just make it marshmallow horseshoe flavor; they got the oatiness in there. I did end up giving the tube to a child-haver because it didn't have that "clean" aftertaste. I mean, my teeth felt clean, but I couldn't convince my brain I wasn't stewing in sugar cereal juice.


eta: I've figured out that you can get another couple of days out of HiSmile toothpaste pumps. Pop off the cap at the bottom (may need a lever, like a scissor blade). Inside there's a plunger that serves the pump; by the time you're near the end, the plunger will be high up inside the tube. Push the plunger up higher (toothbrush works well) and you should get a few more pumps, and you can do this several times.

 

[autoerotic bus accident]

Arise, thread, and hear my reviews of HiSmile toothpaste flavors!

I'd like to add on to this. I switched to HiSmile recently (Mango Sorbet being my favorite, then Miffy Sweet Apple), and actually received a compliment from my dental hygienist on how awesome my teeth looked.

That plus the fact that morning post-brush coffee no longer tastes appalling are worth the price in my book. It just plain FEELS better to brush with this stuff. I've been picking up whatever mystery flavors go on sale for $5 because I like trying new things and I haven't hit a bad one yet.

 

[Aunt Carol]

That plus the fact that morning post-brush coffee no longer tastes appalling are worth the price in my book. It just plain FEELS better to brush with this stuff.

Speaking as a grown-ass adult, I like fun flavors! And surprises! The "oral hygiene" part is the responsible adult part.

HiSmile does have xylitol as well as fluoride, so the xylitol health benefits are a tradeoff for not being able to share the flavors with your dog.

 

[Plethora+]

Agreed, it's not easy finding interesting (and non-mint flavors) toothpastes. I found a rose flavored one once that turned out to still be minty. My favorites are the fennel from Tom's of Maine and cheap old Pepsodent which is sassafrass.

 

[long waters]

Butterfly knife comb or trainer.

Ver archivo adjunto 6056024

The teeth on regular combs tend to snap off when I leave it in my back pocket, so this was a nice solution. Also doubles as a fidget device if I wanna be retarded and pretend I'm a greaser nigger.

Was lurking the thread when I saw this. 5 minutes later, I found a pack of 2 butterfly combs for 10 buck at a local store and ordered it. I expect they're pure chinesium, but it should amuse me for a while, big cheers!

 

[Aunt Carol]

Was lurking the thread when I saw this. 5 minutes later, I found a pack of 2 butterfly combs for 10 buck at a local store and ordered it.

I usually have this problem in the Most Autistic Thing You've Purchased Lately thread; glad we're adding to the Kiwi Shopping List.

eta: the nice thing about butterfly combs is that when you get bored of them, you can pass them to children without moral or legal issues

 

[GaryGray]

Someone got a bacon scented candle as a gag gift and decided to light it in the office. Not only did it not smell at all like bacon the smell lingered for over an hour. To be clear this was not a candle with a misleading label but a very poor attempt at making a bacon scent.

Butterfly knife comb or trainer.

There is also a bottle opener version.

 

[weebs are pedo]

just spent $40 on fuckin toothpaste but if it gets my retarded adhd ass excited about brushing my teeth it will be worth. my fiance makes fun of me because I currently use kids sparkly bubblegum toothpaste

 

[Sacrarium Spiritus lumine]

I want to make a mention of the fly shooter. It is absolutely worthless, but you never stop trying.

 

[Julie Newmar]

I want to make a mention of the fly shooter. It is absolutely worthless, but you never stop trying.

You mean the gun that shoots salt at flies? You gotta use pretzel salt, it’ll really up your game. I got wicked good with that at a shitty kitchen I worked in for a while.

 

[Sacrarium Spiritus lumine]

You mean the gun that shoots salt at flies? You gotta use pretzel salt, it’ll really up your game. I got wicked good with that at a shitty kitchen I worked in for a while.

Sorry, I swore that I uploaded the image.

 

[Julie Newmar]

Sorry, I swore that I uploaded the image.

I’m so intrigued

 

[Aunt Carol]

You mean the gun that shoots salt at flies? You gotta use pretzel salt, it’ll really up your game. I got wicked good with that at a shitty kitchen I worked in for a while.

I really am just picturing you in an apron, shooting salt onto pretzels with the Bug-a-Salt gun from across the room.

Your fellow chef has the pretzels pinned to a clothesline with old-fashioned clothespins and is cranking them past rhythmically; obviously the entire process is animated by Fleischer Studios.

 

[Julie Newmar]

I really am just picturing you in an apron, shooting salt onto pretzels with the Bug-a-Salt gun from across the room.

Your fellow chef has the pretzels pinned to a clothesline with old-fashioned clothespins and is cranking them past rhythmically; obviously the entire process is animated by Fleischer Studios.

More work got done in your scenario; I was eventually banned from bringing it to work as customers caught me hunting in the lounge before opening one day.

Thread tax: I am endlessly amused by trucker hats with obnoxious sayings on them. My current daily driver says “I got my gooch pierced at Claire’s.”

 

[Accept Only Substitutes]

I recently splurged on a pair of Apple Airpods. I wanted to see if the user experience was really that much better with a really expensive set of earphones.

Short review: Holy shit yes. Sound, can't tell the difference between these and my $10 ones. Everything else: vast, vast difference. Went to the movies, they were super loud as usual, put the airpods in my ears on noise canceling and the sound was perfect. 10/10 would spend ridiculous amounts of money again. Not at all a waste of money, unlike the retarded apple pencil. If you don't keep your pencil charged at all times it will completely brick itself. Which is only mentioned on forums when you Google "why won't my apple pencil charge", fucking Apple.

But that's not the novelty item.

This is!



My case for the earphones. It's even better in real life. Soft, but not silicone so not a lint magnet. The text and stuff on the front is raised, so it feels nice and looks expensive as shit. But it's Chinese so it wasn't expensive at all.

Several of the reviews say people irl are fooled. Including one person who got a phone call after leaving them at a hotel saying they forgot their lotion.

Also got these for the actual earphones. Super easy to install and look fantastic. Just as a way to make them look a little bit different from every other pair in the world.

 

[Kitty kitty cat]

Speaking as a grown-ass adult, I like fun flavors! And surprises! The "oral hygiene" part is the responsible adult part.

HiSmile does have xylitol as well as fluoride, so the xylitol health benefits are a tradeoff for not being able to share the flavors with your dog.

I love that youve tried so many flavours. We cant get the full range here but i did buy the chocolate one. I honestly dont know how to feel about it. It just seems so wrong to be brushing my teeth with chocolate and I need that fresh sensation in my mouth.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I love that youve tried so many flavours.

Alas, they don't seem to sell the "one of everything" bag of trial sized sachets any more. I was looking because I thought it'd be a fun gift for people.

Man, if I were in charge of a novelty toothpaste company and made sample packets, I'd at least be thinking "toothpaste advent calendar"

 

[Kitty kitty cat]

Alas, they don't seem to sell the "one of everything" bag of trial sized sachets any more. I was looking because I thought it'd be a fun gift for people.

Man, if I were in charge of a novelty toothpaste company and made sample packets, I'd at least be thinking "toothpaste advent calendar"

Id buy that. Id also buy one with perfume samples. I know theres beauty advent calenders but they often seem like a bunch of crap with few nice items mixed in.

 

[long waters]

Someone got a bacon scented candle as a gag gift and decided to light it in the office. Not only did it not smell at all like bacon the smell lingered for over an hour. To be clear this was not a candle with a misleading label but a very poor attempt at making a bacon scent.

There is also a bottle opener version.
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I received the comb-butterfly, it's fun to mess around with. I'm glad it's a comb and not a knife because as retarded as I am with it right now I'd cut my fingers off. I need to learn to use this properly.

 

[ChompChomp]

(Warning: Multiple replies below because I just discovered this thread.)

unless you're an advanced vinegar person

I'd like to use this as my profile post title, please .

Hismile toothpaste flavor bonanza continues:

I'd like to subscribe to "Aunt Carol Reviews."

it's a lot easier to measure liquid ingredients for a recipe without spilling, and easy to clean.

Allow me to introduce a solution: This digital scale.

Not only does it measure dry goods with precise 0.1g accuracy, but soso measures liquids in milliliters (ml).

Edit: Added images.

Spoiler: Measurements

Measures are 100- and 500-milliliters.

I need to save up to pre-order stuff from the cyberzoic line

I thought the website and products were going to be dumb until I clicked the link and agree that you need to start saving up.

Would I want to pilot a battle-gear clad dryptosaurus?

Spoiler: Yes

I would.

Last question, do you think these would make a good gift?

Adult male here: If you got me something from that collection, we'd immediately become best friends and I might even add you as an insurance beneficiary.

Biscuit Spread (limited edition): aka fake Biscoff. Agreeable; nice mellow cookie flavor, weird to have a "crunchy" flavor in toothpaste form.

Please tell me you've seen this.

Spoiler: NFSW-ish

morning post-brush coffee

What in tarnation...

There is also a bottle opener version

I tended bar for a while and thought it would be cool to have one of these; it's fun to play with (giggity), but a bit too long (giggity) for practical use.