Opinion 5 Reasons Atheists Make Better Husbands (As Written By One)

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5 Reasons Atheists Make Better Husbands (As Written By One)​

I once dated a woman who rediscovered Jesus halfway through our relationship. I'm not certain where he was hiding all this time, but she sure did find him.

And yes, it felt a little awkward for my girlfriend to be with another man, even if that other man didn't actually exist. I tried to be open to the idea — I let them see each other every Sunday; I even participated in the love triangle every now and then.

But eventually, there were things he could give her that I just couldn't. Eternal salvation is a pretty big deal I guess.

In the end, her religion turned into the primary destructive force in our relationship.

And not the discord in our beliefs — we were pretty tolerant of each other in that respect — but the actual rules and values her religion forced her to follow.

Learn from my mistakes. Here's why relationships are much better with a non-religious person.

Here are 5 reasons atheists make better husbands, as written by one:​

1. We believe that having a healthy sex life is totally rad, not some sinful Catch-22​

With a religious person, sex is a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" proposition. Technically, only they're damned if they do. But your relationship is damned if you don't.

With the 3 major religions, premarital sex engenders shame, guilt, and self-loathing in the pious party. You either have no sex life at all or are someone who hates yourself a little more every time you do it.

It's a recipe for resentment, for both parties. Erasing God from the equation helps you both have a healthy, positive attitude about sex. You can still scream his name in bed if you want.

2. You come first in our life​

If you date a devout follower of religion, you'll never be the most important thing in their life. If it came down to you or their god, guess who has power over their eternal soul? Not you. Not even the Ghostbusters.

With an atheist or agnostic, you'll never have to compete ... and lose.

3. We make the most of our life because that's all we've got​

Religion is like an audition, except you spend your whole life trying to get the part. And you're not sure the part even exists. And maybe this guy isn't even a casting director and he's just trying to take advantage of your naivety to get in your pants ... or something like that.

Religion requires a lifetime of appeasement and concession. Sex isn't the only sin.

Do you want to spend your time with someone on their best behavior, preparing for another life? Or would you rather be with someone living this one to the fullest?

4. We let science handle birth control, not divine intervention​

An atheist will never protest using a condom on moral grounds or deny you Plan B for faith-based reasons.

All the better to revel in our dirty, heathen sex consequence-free.

Imagine how different the world would be if THAT sentence was in the Bible.

5. We don't (automatically) subscribe to the idea that women are inferior to men​

Obviously, I can't speak to the opinion of all atheists. There surely are misogynistic men out there who don't subscribe to religion.

The difference is, with religion, it's institutionalized. All three major religions essentially consider women property and treat them as such.

Do you want someone who considers you subservient or your equal?

 

[Spicey McHaggis]

Ver archivo adjunto 4315181
Soy leaking from his pores.

That's not soy leaking from his pores as much as it's the dead eyed stare of a serial killer. This dude has some major skeletons in his closet.

 

[Ita Mori]

Lol cucked by Jesus. Behold his holy chadness.

We don't (automatically) subscribe to the idea that women are inferior to men​

We're just as sexist as religious men, we just take a bit longer to get there.

 

[Kiwisee]

All I get from this article is that the author is a sex obsessed hedonist who doesn’t actually want to deal with commitment of any sort.

Sex isn’t the end all and be all of any relationship. If “good sex” is the only thing you’ve got going for you, you should take a step back and reflect on yourself. To be more specific; ask yourself why you’re obsessed with it to the point of making it your whole identity aside from being an atheist.

 

[WonderWino]

i expected this to come from a sex obsessed coomer

was not disappointed
1st reason lmao

Yeah.... serious lucas werner vibes coming off the author:

 

[MadStan]

The person that wrote this had an ego bigger than God. No wonder they are atheists.

 

[cybertoaster]

Imagine being so desperate, so thirsty that you write a fucking listicle in 2023.

I bet $100 he is a virgin, and no hookers, gay sex and date rape doesn't counts.

 

[X Prime]

I posited that idea to other believers, that really, the reason why a lot of people 'choose' to be atheist is simply because they don't want to be told what to do and their are limits to degeneracy. It is was bizarre as it seemed they literally never thought of that before. No wonder evangelization has a long way to go.

I would characterize it as "fear of judgment."

Think about it. Virtually every hedonistic philosophical point has, at its core, the central thesis that no one has the right to negatively judge you.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

I would characterize it as "fear of judgment."

Think about it. Virtually every hedonistic philosophical point has, at its core, the central thesis that no one has the right to negatively judge you.

That is the whole idea behind not kinkshaming. But literally come on, if your kink is having underaged children fuck goats, seriously fuck you. You NEED to be shamed and publicly executed you child/animal abusing faggot.

 

[Anasûrimbor Kellhus]

lmao half these reasons is just him being a coomer and basically begging m'lady to sex him up reddit style.

 

[DankSmoker]

If it came down to you or their god, guess who has power over their eternal soul? Not you. Not even the Ghostbusters.

Who needs God when you have Bill Murray!

 

[ZazietheBeast]

By this logic, TJ "Banana man" would be your ideal husband.

Hope you like cooking oil.

 

[Isaac]

Is this the same science that tells you that men can sometimes give birth? Birth Control is a tool that enables married couples to plan their families, but it has also enabled a lot of highly destructive sexual behavior. There's also no guarantee that it will be used consistently and correctly even when it is used. It would be better to focus on educating women to make better decisions on who to date and what kinds of relationships are healthy than to focus solely on contraception to the exclusion of everything else. There's no reason why religious institutions can't be a part of this. The last time I looked, there were few religions that discouraged contraception outright, apart from the Quiverfull Nutters and some hardcore Catholics.

Contraceptives are bad.

Since we live in the Modern World where physical attributes don't have as much sway over what we can do and where life is much safer, it's no surprise that most religions have adjusted to allow for women leaders and practitioners. The Catholic Church is a holdout, but last time I checked my old Church, there were plenty of women leaders among the laypersons. Once again, an atheist gets his views about religions from the movies he's watched, not by observing actual reality.

Women should not be Priests/Preachers/Pastors. This is explictly taught within Scripture, and that's why Protestants (along with Orthodox Christians and other schismatics) prohibit women from having authority over a man. Men and women have different purposes, and for a man to obey a woman (other than his mother) is an abombination.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

With the 3 major religions, premarital sex engenders shame, guilt, and self-loathing in the pious party. You either have no sex life at all or are someone who hates yourself a little more every time you do it.

There's five major religions. Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, and Buddhism. According to some lazy searching, premarital sex is a social taboo in Modern Hinduism. Hinduism doesn't forbid it. In Buddhism, the third precept originally required consent from the woman and her parents. Premarital sex would be allowed if the parents were okay with it.

So three religions explicitly forbid it, one doesn't, and another requires permission from the parents.

 

[Coptakhenaten]

Going to be using Christianity here because that's obviously what it's referring to

1. We believe that having a healthy sex life is totally rad, not some sinful Catch-22​

A healthy sex life is one that isn't degenerate or barren. It is balanced, monogamous, and marital. There is biological incentive to do this to not overload dopamine receptors and make your desensitized to sex and seek more perverse avenues, or be so repressed you go overboard. Christianity does not deny this. Pre-Maritial Sex is a matter of patience and trust.

2. You come first in our life​

Maybe Protestants don't make this clear enough but God is Love in of itself. The Trinity is built on the mutual and eternal love of three Persons in eternal love. According to Christianity, in order for a person to even begin to understand love for a fellow human as a partner, one must understand the mystery of God's love from which springs the ability for romantic relationships to even form.

3. We make the most of our life because that's all we've got​

A Stoic would disagree here. You would make the most of your life by being reasonably restrained and living virtuously. Likewise a Christian would argue living a godly life makes one happy. The obsession over heaven and hell is more of a Western thing I guess, but church fathers typically clarify that the point of Christianity is to day-by-day improve yourself as a human being and reach the greatest state of happiness which at that point true love for God and one's fellow man can be achieved, true immortality. By living life to the fullest (in Christian terms), one is guaranteed paradise. Now I guarantee the author doesn't particularly like Stoicism and probably prefers a flanderized notion of utilitarian epicureanism, but I digress.

4. We let science handle birth control, not divine intervention​

Pretty sure the only churches that outright ban condoms are Catholics, Ethiopians, and maybe some more conservative Russians(?). Other churches tend to be more lenient on contraceptives like condoms as long as it isn't for the sole purpose of endless sex. Like if a family simply cannot afford to bear a child sex with a condom is fine. The pill is always banned however I am pretty sure but protestants probably break that. However, once again, there is biological reason for women not taking the pill. It has been really damaging to society medically, mentally, and environmentally.

5. We don't (automatically) subscribe to the idea that women are inferior to men​

Christianity was extremely popular with women because it asserted women were made in God's image and had certain protections to marriage, divorce, childbearing, etc Judaism and Paganism did not offer. Women are not inferior to men. They have different roles than men because believe it or not, divisions of labor are a transcendentally sanctioned thing in Christianity.

Overall: Don't use dumbass baptists as a gauge for religion/10

 

[LurkTrawl]

If you date a devout follower of religion, you'll never be the most important thing in their life. If it came down to you or their god, guess who has power over their eternal soul? Not you. Not even the Ghostbusters.

With an atheist or agnostic, you'll never have to compete ... and lose.

Imagine being such an unbelievable fucking narcissist or whatever that you demand to be held in the same position as God. Sounds like the problem ain't the religion of your partner if that's the case.

 

[Weeby Catto]

Atheist can never help but write their articles from LIES, always the same.

1st point, immediately a lie lol. Christianity never ask people to refrain from sex, in fact, Christianity advocates it as it writes, do not deny each other from your body as it is no longer yours alone, except during soecial occasions like fasting etc. It simply encourage you to stay loyal, fuck your partner not others. The rest of the ooints are just further lies.

Atheist's arguments only work if you already ascribe to their lies.

It's really like JK Rowling's tweet, you keep hearing about how hateful it is, then when you look it up yourself, you discover she was just saying "hey, sex is real, otherwise husband and wife marriage wouldn't exist"

 

[WAHbert Plant]

Atheist write shit like this and wonder why they barely get pussy.

1. We believe that having a healthy sex life is totally rad, not some sinful Catch-22​

Yeahhhhh, "healthy" sex life. You know, religious people don't obstain from all sex. The bible does say that you can fuck all you want as long as you're married, but few actually abide by this rule and just don't make babies until they're married. Also, monogamy is healthy, cheating is a sign of disloyalty no matter what you believe in.

2. You come first in our life​

Wellllll my bf has said that he loves me the most, but slightly less God or Jesus. So what? Being Catholic has nothing to do his love for me. You don't see him praying for me when he is in deep trouble.

With an atheist or agnostic, you'll never have to compete ... and lose.

Uhhh, it's not a competition, nobody loses. Worship and love are two completely different things.

3. We make the most of our life because that's all we've got​

Everyone tries to do the most of their life, regardless of religion. Religious people don't want approval just from God, they want approval from the people they love. Do good, and everyone around you will feel good too, maybe you'll get that special ticket to Heaven, or get reincarrnated. Who knows? That's why we do our best.

4. We let science handle birth control, not divine intervention​

You know science also says? The human brain was made for religion. It also says that porn use can cause depression, anxiety, erectile dysfunction, will make it more likely that you can rape someone, and has the same chemical reaction as addictive drugs like cocaine.
Look, as a chick myself, I'm not gonna take any BC pills. Mainly because I don't want to fuck up my body, especially with hormones and how it can fuck up things like sex drive. If I wanna do it with my bf, I'd just let him wear a condom it's much easier to put on a rubber sleeve than estrogen pills.

5. We don't (automatically) subscribe to the idea that women are inferior to men​

Good for you then. But the things is, women were never regarded as inferior to men, just different. Women liked Christianity because of the values it instituted onto them. Besides, christians weren’t the ones banning women from education or covering their entire bodies up, unlike Muslims.

So, I’m sorry you had a bad experience with a religious person, but please have respect for believers, if you really think you are “tolerant”, and don’t generalize factions of Christianity into one big religion. No two Christians are the same.

 

[The Nothingness]

1. We believe that having a healthy sex life is totally rad, not some sinful Catch-22​

Yes, because it's not like fucking so much results in people becoming numb to the experience (like one thread on this subforum covered a dominatrix who discussed this). Or as others have said, you end up with a hedonistic addiction and look for new forms of pleasure (see Frank Cotton from Hellraiser).

 

[Smug]

3. We make the most of our life because that's all we've got

*spends their time writing buzzfeed-tier articles*

My sides.

 

[neverendingmidi]

Wow, this guy is such an obnoxious athiest, he chased some woman into becoming devout.

That's on par with a guy I know who's ex wife became a nun.