Opinion 5 Reasons Atheists Make Better Husbands (As Written By One)

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5 Reasons Atheists Make Better Husbands (As Written By One)​

I once dated a woman who rediscovered Jesus halfway through our relationship. I'm not certain where he was hiding all this time, but she sure did find him.

And yes, it felt a little awkward for my girlfriend to be with another man, even if that other man didn't actually exist. I tried to be open to the idea — I let them see each other every Sunday; I even participated in the love triangle every now and then.

But eventually, there were things he could give her that I just couldn't. Eternal salvation is a pretty big deal I guess.

In the end, her religion turned into the primary destructive force in our relationship.

And not the discord in our beliefs — we were pretty tolerant of each other in that respect — but the actual rules and values her religion forced her to follow.

Learn from my mistakes. Here's why relationships are much better with a non-religious person.

Here are 5 reasons atheists make better husbands, as written by one:​

1. We believe that having a healthy sex life is totally rad, not some sinful Catch-22​

With a religious person, sex is a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" proposition. Technically, only they're damned if they do. But your relationship is damned if you don't.

With the 3 major religions, premarital sex engenders shame, guilt, and self-loathing in the pious party. You either have no sex life at all or are someone who hates yourself a little more every time you do it.

It's a recipe for resentment, for both parties. Erasing God from the equation helps you both have a healthy, positive attitude about sex. You can still scream his name in bed if you want.

2. You come first in our life​

If you date a devout follower of religion, you'll never be the most important thing in their life. If it came down to you or their god, guess who has power over their eternal soul? Not you. Not even the Ghostbusters.

With an atheist or agnostic, you'll never have to compete ... and lose.

3. We make the most of our life because that's all we've got​

Religion is like an audition, except you spend your whole life trying to get the part. And you're not sure the part even exists. And maybe this guy isn't even a casting director and he's just trying to take advantage of your naivety to get in your pants ... or something like that.

Religion requires a lifetime of appeasement and concession. Sex isn't the only sin.

Do you want to spend your time with someone on their best behavior, preparing for another life? Or would you rather be with someone living this one to the fullest?

4. We let science handle birth control, not divine intervention​

An atheist will never protest using a condom on moral grounds or deny you Plan B for faith-based reasons.

All the better to revel in our dirty, heathen sex consequence-free.

Imagine how different the world would be if THAT sentence was in the Bible.

5. We don't (automatically) subscribe to the idea that women are inferior to men​

Obviously, I can't speak to the opinion of all atheists. There surely are misogynistic men out there who don't subscribe to religion.

The difference is, with religion, it's institutionalized. All three major religions essentially consider women property and treat them as such.

Do you want someone who considers you subservient or your equal?
 
Real women respecter hours with the OP here. Totally not a weirdo trying to play up their appeal.
 
What a strange and petty list. And of course directed only at Christianity.
 
We're reaching levels of m'lady that shouldn't even be possible!

This feels like an article from 2004- the petty, snide, passive-aggressive sniping (which women don't like in men, they have other women for that) to reinforce the idea that yes, ladies, I'm totally fuckable despite having the social skills of plankton.
 
Athiests like this remind me of vegans. If you feel a constant need to try to convince everyone that you're better than them you're probably not. Either way everyone hates you because you act like a smug asshole so congrats I guess.
 
Imagine having sex with a dedicated atheist.

"OH GOD! OH GOD!"

"There is no god, the proper thing to scream when you're cumming is OH SCIENCE!"
 
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Soy leaking from his pores.
 
I once dated a woman who rediscovered Jesus halfway through our relationship. I'm not certain where he was hiding all this time, but she sure did find him.
Oh, ho, ho! Very clever! Sky-wizard-believers will never recover!

1. We believe that having a healthy sex life is totally rad, not some sinful Catch-22

I guess so, if you define "healthy sex life" as "your wife getting fucked by the bull while you watch from the closet, then you get to lick it up afterward." Honestly, people can have differing opinions about what constitutes a "healthy" sex life, and I think traditional Christian ideas of chastity and monogamy are about as healthy as you can get. And it's not like all Christians always observe this 100%, but it's the ideal, and keeping the ideal in mind keeps the more animalistic instincts in check.

In any case, sexual morality is orthogonal to theism. You can be an atheist and think Christians had the right idea because it leads to successful families and propagation of DNA, or you can be a theist and think God wants you to lock virgins in your basement dungeon and impregnate them.

I don't think his "catch-22" idea is worth addressing.

2. You come first in our life

This has nothing to do with theism.

3. We make the most of our life because that's all we've got

If writing listicles for YourTango.com (what even is that?) is the most you can make of your life, you better hope you get a second go-round because this one is an embarrassing failure.

4. We let science handle birth control, not divine intervention

I have no idea what to make of this.

5. We don't (automatically) subscribe to the idea that women are inferior to men

Again, this has nothing to do with theism.

Is there some theist/atheist version of Haidt's moral foundation research to explain why atheists have no idea what theists believe and rely on bizarre caricatures?
 
I appreciate the jump of Bible-thumping fundamentalist evangelical Christian versus fedora-tipping bugman atheist.

If only there were an in between of these two categories! Alas, your choices in life are assuredly limited to one or the other...
 
#1. While a lot of religions depict sinning as black and white, there's also usually a road to repentance (I don't know all the religions). It could be you being stupid, a moment of weakness, there's various reasons for why it may have happened; but there's also something to be said from an atheist perspective about religious doctrine. Namely, is there a physical or non-religious benefit to this behavior; and with pre-marital sex, there is. Women with more partners have a harder time pair bonding (I imagine men do too, just in a different way), and the earlier someone has sex has negative affects on their life. I'm sure there's more, but the idea is, there are benefits to a safe and monogomous relationship; and even if you falter, there is a chance to get it back on track.

#2. I struggle with this one at times, about God coming first, and from what I've witnessed it's more about giving thanks/praise. This should also be combined with that passage in the Bible (I don't remember where, I'm bad at this) where your prayers should be private and not public. So when your kid nails their recital, your wife gets her dream job, or whatever; praise them as they worked for it, but also praise God for being a rock/foundation, whatever as well. And you don't need to Allah Ackbar at the top of your lungs at the moment either, do it in private.

#3. When you consider the only thing waiting for us at the end is the cold void, the nihilist comes out and asks "What's the point?" You traveled the world, stepped foot on all seven continents, banged a hot girl from every Asian country, so on and so forth... only to be left to the void and have it mean nothing. I don't know what's waiting on the other side, but I would like to think there's something more than just "You had consciousness for X-years" and then it's erased. The Rapture, Reincarnation, something, something offers something more to make those experiences worth something. Because unless you're big enough in your time to have your name and pictures in a book, in two to three generations, no one is going to remember you. Why make the most of it, if you're not even gonna remember it?

#4. The amount of estrogen in the water supply is doing real damage to people's health. There's also the idea that birth control messes with a woman's hormones and makes them more deranged than normal. You're fucking with nature to get your rocks off; which again I wander into nihilism territory, because you're making shit worse and don't care because you'll be dead. You're not making anything worthwhile or leaving something for anyone who may come after, so again I ask, what's the point.

#5. You should; men are shown to have higher IQ, better spatial awareness, stronger bones, better cardiovascular system, and a whole host of other things. Granted these come with negatives like increased risk of heart disease and other problems. But if we are to measure humans in sheer bodily performance, men exceed women in a number of ways. As for what religion thinks of them, that's mostly Islam. Jews have this weird sect where the women do all the work, so the men can sit around and discuss the Talmud. Christians call for women to be submissive, there's nothing in there about how to beat your woman. And while I understand it's hard to see this, they do honor their women, because it's only women who can make children, which the religions also praise.

This article feels like a dude who's having a hard time finding a fuck buddy and is trying to convince someone to sleep with him.
 
23 fuckin years and we're still hitting peak levels of 'Seething mad at Mommy and Daddy".
 
I don't even know what to say, every sentence is more ridiculous than the previous one, it's also just stereotypes against religious people with ridiculous amount of simping. Literally saying you are going to simp for a woman more than to the entity that created you.

Enjoy being consigned to oblivion after death, I'm gonna chill in heaven.
 
Wow, yikes, the linked article is really Islamophobic.

It's only ok to write this kind of tripe about Christianity. Remember that. Replace the word "God" with "Allah" and "Christianity" with "Islam" and you're going to jail for hate speech.
I posited that idea to other believers, that really, the reason why a lot of people 'choose' to be atheist is simply because they don't want to be told what to do and there are limits to degeneracy. It is was bizarre as it seemed they literally never thought of that before. No wonder evangelization has a long way to go.
 
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1. We believe that having a healthy sex life is totally rad, not some sinful Catch-22​


I take it this guy has never read "The Song of Solomon" The Christian Bible is totally okay with rampant banging as long as it takes place wthin marriage. Even Queen Victoria - whose era has become associated with prudery - had an enthusiasm for sex which produced enough kids to fill her own baseball team. Making sure the guy banging you is going to stick around if you get preggers is a good idea overall. Even in our secular age we "bind" provider males to the women they knock up via child support. We also shame and imprison men who fail their obligations as parents. This is hardly the sexual free-for-all that atheists promote as part of a Christianity-free life.

2. You come first in our life​

If you date a devout follower of religion single mother, you'll never be the most important thing in their life. If it came down to you or their god children, guess who has power over their eternal soul time and attention? Not you. Not even the Ghostbusters.

Guess what? Not everyone is going to put a potential partner above other obligations in their lives. For some people, it's religion, for some people, it's a career of public/military service, or a social cause, for some people, it's children from a previous relationship. If you're the sort of person who expects a potential partner to drop everything they care about to put you on a pedestal, we have a word for that: Narcissists.

3. We make the most of our life because that's all we've got​

Doing good works and living a life of discipline according to the principles of a moral system isn't something that's only limited to the religious. Some people just live that way because they recognize it as a healthy and sustainable way to live, and if there's a pleasant afterlife at the end of it, it's a nice surprise. But expecting an afterlife to be there is no more stupid than saving for retirement. There's no guarantee that you'll be around to enjoy the retirement, but you can at least have peace of mind that , if it does happen, you'll be comfortable.

4. We let science handle birth control, not divine intervention​

Is this the same science that tells you that men can sometimes give birth? Birth Control is a tool that enables married couples to plan their families, but it has also enabled a lot of highly destructive sexual behavior. There's also no guarantee that it will be used consistently and correctly even when it is used. It would be better to focus on educating women to make better decisions on who to date and what kinds of relationships are healthy than to focus solely on contraception to the exclusion of everything else. There's no reason why religious institutions can't be a part of this. The last time I looked, there were few religions that discouraged contraception outright, apart from the Quiverfull Nutters and some hardcore Catholics.

5. We don't (automatically) subscribe to the idea that women are inferior to men​

Most religions acknowledge differences between men and women, and that men are suited for certain positions because of their psychology and physical makeup. Feminists think that women's treatment of the past was based on sexism when the truth was that MOST people got the shaft and had very little power over their lives back then, and men had more freedom over their destinies because they were basically expected to take on more risks. Men were expected to lay down their lives at a much higher rate. Just look at the history of the Donner Party and the survival rates between men and women. You can't expect a standard of sexual equality to exist under those circumstances and no religion of the time - apart from some of the kookier Mystery Cults - would have encouraged it.

Since we live in the Modern World where physical attributes don't have as much sway over what we can do and where life is much safer, it's no surprise that most religions have adjusted to allow for women leaders and practitioners. The Catholic Church is a holdout, but last time I checked my old Church, there were plenty of women leaders among the laypersons. Once again, an atheist gets his views about religions from the movies he's watched, not by observing actual reality.
 
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