Final Fantasy XIV - Kiwi Free Company

[Dopey Cunt]

Starting today I'm going to do a segment called "Why are tanks shit?" starring me and how pissed off they make me.

Spoiler: Are you unironically retarded?

-Why are tanks literally programmed, HARD WIRED to pull mobs out of my Doton every time I put it down? Like...why? Why pull them out of the DoT circle? Why? Are you unironically retarded?

-Tanks love their pissing contests so goddamn much that at every opportunity they like to stand around, comparing their dick sizes during raids. Only when I decide to enter as a tank, do the tanks stand around with their fingers in their fucking asses not doing anything. But the second I take initiative and go to tank the fucking boss, they want to provoke off me. If you want to tank, than fucking tank. Now I refuse to give the boss to you because you wanted to act like a cunt.

-Stop spinning the bosses around, you brainlet. Why does this only happen when I play a melee job?

-Why don't you ever use mitigation when I heal but you want to pull the whole goddamn room?

-There's a literal black mage in the fucking party, please stop pulling only one mob pack at a time.

-Can you be consistent when pulling, for fuck's sake? Don't pull a single mob, aoe a few times...not move and then only decide to move and pull another mob pack when the dps start to get their aoe damaging attacks ready. You just made me waste a cooldown, you piece of shit.

-Please aoe the mobs more so that they don't keep breaking away to smack one of the dps or the healer. Aoe combos literally cost no resource and can be spammed to fuck. You have literally no reason NOT to fucking use it, so fucking use it.

-Nobody gives a shit about your parse in casual play. You're a tank, your job is to eat damage, not spit it out. That parsing, try hard bullshit is for savage raiders. Nobody likes them, they're fags.

-For the 10 gorillionth time, in gauntlet, you don't need to pull that one pack of mobs all the way up to gate before the final boss. The mobs there don't even fucking spawn until the first group is dead and do you have any fucking idea how difficult it is to attack the mobs when they are social distancing from each other? No? That's why you're a shit tank.

-Goddamn it, can you pull the fucking boss away from the wall so I can land my positional attacks? I can't do the extra damage if it's back is AGAINST THE FUCKING WALL AND HALF OF IT'S FUCKING HIT BOX IS UNREACHABLE. PULL IT AWAY FOR THE MELEE. Jesus tapdancing CHRIST.

-Yes, you're doing a great job by tanking Nu Gaius at the center of the arena during full rank and making no effort to position yourself so that you can both be safe and so the melee can actually damage the fucking guy. But no, I'll just be waiting over here in the safe zone with my knuckles in my hands and my thumb up my ass.

 

[Kane Lives]

Starting today I'm going to do a segment called "Why are tanks shit?" starring me and how pissed off they make me.

Spoiler: Are you unironically retarded?

-Why are tanks literally programmed, HARD WIRED to pull mobs out of my Doton every time I put it down? Like...why? Why pull them out of the DoT circle? Why? Are you unironically retarded?

-Tanks love their pissing contests so goddamn much that at every opportunity they like to stand around, comparing their dick sizes during raids. Only when I decide to enter as a tank, do the tanks stand around with their fingers in their fucking asses not doing anything. But the second I take initiative and go to tank the fucking boss, they want to provoke off me. If you want to tank, than fucking tank. Now I refuse to give the boss to you because you wanted to act like a cunt.

-Stop spinning the bosses around, you brainlet. Why does this only happen when I play a melee job?

-Why don't you ever use mitigation when I heal but you want to pull the whole goddamn room?

-There's a literal black mage in the fucking party, please stop pulling only one mob pack at a time.

-Can you be consistent when pulling, for fuck's sake? Don't pull a single mob, aoe a few times...not move and then only decide to move and pull another mob pack when the dps start to get their aoe damaging attacks ready. You just made me waste a cooldown, you piece of shit.

-Please aoe the mobs more so that they don't keep breaking away to smack one of the dps or the healer. Aoe combos literally cost no resource and can be spammed to fuck. You have literally no reason NOT to fucking use it, so fucking use it.

-Nobody gives a shit about your parse in casual play. You're a tank, your job is to eat damage, not spit it out. That parsing, try hard bullshit is for savage raiders. Nobody likes them, they're fags.

-For the 10 gorillionth time, in gauntlet, you don't need to pull that one pack of mobs all the way up to gate before the final boss. The mobs there don't even fucking spawn until the first group is dead and do you have any fucking idea how difficult it is to attack the mobs when they are social distancing from each other? No? That's why you're a shit tank.

-Goddamn it, can you pull the fucking boss away from the wall so I can land my positional attacks? I can't do the extra damage if it's back is AGAINST THE FUCKING WALL AND HALF OF IT'S FUCKING HIT BOX IS UNREACHABLE. PULL IT AWAY FOR THE MELEE. Jesus tapdancing CHRIST.

-Yes, you're doing a great job by tanking Nu Gaius at the center of the arena during full rank and making no effort to position yourself so that you can both be safe and so the melee can actually damage the fucking guy. But no, I'll just be waiting over here in the safe zone with my knuckles in my hands and my thumb up my ass.

Ver archivo adjunto 1872605

Every so often, I get the feeling that I'm letting people down when I play my tank because it's not my main, but I enjoy the change of pace. I'm 100% not very good at it; my uptime on the burst DPS cooldown is trash and I occasionally forget to pop mitigation.

Then I read these horror stories and I instantly feel better about myself.

 

[Gravemind]

Starting today I'm going to do a segment called "Why are tanks shit?" starring me and how pissed off they make me.

I kinda want to break down some of this shit since I'm a Tank main myself:

-Tanks love their pissing contests so goddamn much that at every opportunity they like to stand around, comparing their dick sizes during raids. Only when I decide to enter as a tank, do the tanks stand around with their fingers in their fucking asses not doing anything. But the second I take initiative and go to tank the fucking boss, they want to provoke off me. If you want to tank, than fucking tank. Now I refuse to give the boss to you because you wanted to act like a cunt.

God, this. It hasn't happened as often lately, but boy, have I gotten dickwad tanks who suddenly Provoke off of me mid-fight. Worse yet, I've had a couple that Provoke and build aggro lead off of me... Then proceed to act like they're OTing instead. I used to fight cunts like that back, but now I just Shirk them like, fuck it. You want to wear the big boy pants today, don't get mad at me if you do dumb shit and wipe the raid. I allow one, maybe two disasters, before I decide to take the reins back and get shit back on track so they can get their dumb fuckery out of their system.

-There's a literal black mage in the fucking party, please stop pulling only one mob pack at a time.

-Can you be consistent when pulling, for fuck's sake? Don't pull a single mob, aoe a few times...not move and then only decide to move and pull another mob pack when the dps start to get their aoe damaging attacks ready. You just made me waste a cooldown, you piece of shit.

I usually do that first one when the healer is total dogshit. I've been having to do that a fair bit lately, come to think of it. Hell, I dropped dead during an easy trash pull in a levelling roulette earlier because the healer "wasn't paying attention, sorry."

That second one, I sometimes make sure I pop two AoEs to guarantee my aggro lead's established before pulling further because I've often had the problem where one DPS likes to go hard while I'm doing a full wall-to-wall pull and they end up pulling the shit off of me. Doesn't always happen, but it happens enough that I've started taking the precaution.

-For the 10 gorillionth time, in gauntlet, you don't need to pull that one pack of mobs all the way up to gate before the final boss. The mobs there don't even fucking spawn until the first group is dead and do you have any fucking idea how difficult it is to attack the mobs when they are social distancing from each other? No? That's why you're a shit tank.

Makes me laugh because I've had people try to run ahead on that very last stretch and then stand far away as possible and not do anything like they're waiting for me to follow with the mob when I'm just, I've run Gauntlet dozens of times already. I know the enemy spawns by now. Those last ones don't spawn until this mob's dealt with.

-Goddamn it, can you pull the fucking boss away from the wall so I can land my positional attacks? I can't do the extra damage if it's back is AGAINST THE FUCKING WALL AND HALF OF IT'S FUCKING HIT BOX IS UNREACHABLE. PULL IT AWAY FOR THE MELEE. Jesus tapdancing CHRIST.

Usually in cases like that, I'll often try to turn the boss so that its back and flank are both accessible for the melee DPS. Or, y'know, getting real close to the wall itself and squeezing right between the boss will often turn it so that even though I'm practically right on its model, it's still front facing the wall and the back and sides are totally open. It's not hard to play from a tight spot like that as long as you know mechanics.

 

[Scuttlebug Jamboree]

Post some XIV lolcow twitters, I want to laugh at people.

 

[Dopey Cunt]

That second one, I sometimes make sure I pop two AoEs to guarantee my aggro lead's established before pulling further because I've often had the problem where one DPS likes to go hard while I'm doing a full wall-to-wall pull and they end up pulling the shit off of me. Doesn't always happen, but it happens enough that I've started taking the precaution.

I can't tell you how many fucking times I'd wait a full minute before I do anything in case the tank wants to pull more. Only until the second I decide to start attacking does the tank finally move to pull another group.

I've had tanks run out of my Dotons, Sacred Soils, Asylums, and Earthly Stars because the literal exact second I put them down the tank goes, "I think I'll run ahead and pull everything else" after a solid minute of them just fucking standing there.

Edit: Later I'll do a healer and dps version of my "Why are X shit?"

 

[Vapewizard]

I feel a special kinship with G'raha because apparently I accidentally made my character a recolor of him by just choosing the same hairstyle and not applying any tattoos and shit.

 

[Gravemind]

Post some XIV lolcow twitters, I want to laugh at people.

Follow literally any XIV Twitter. Most of them will generally be some degree of lolcow.

I can't tell you how many fucking times I'd wait a full minute before I do anything in case the tank wants to pull more. Only until the second I decide to start attacking does the tank finally move to pull another group.

I've had tanks run out of my Dotons, Sacred Soils, Asylums, and Earthly Stars because the literal exact second I put them down the tank goes, "I think I'll run ahead and pull everything else" after a solid minute of them just fucking standing there.

I do try my damndest to accommodate DPS and healer AoEs but I've seen Ninjas get itchy trigger fingers with firing them off from time to time. Side question: Is there some kind of meta with pre-dropping Doton now or something? Because in both raids and dungeons, I keep regularly seeing Ninjas drop a Doton pre-pull (in the case of raids) or in-between pulls/when there's absolutely no enemies nearby (in dungeons). Or has the average Ninja just gone full retard over time?

I also had an AST let me drop then proceed to throw a fit at me during a levelling roulette a few weeks back for accidentally moving out of their Earthly Star during a big pull. The only thing I can say in my defense is that particular AoE is a little hard to see when I'm not completely looking out for it, didn't notice it go out, and I'm trying to reposition out of big enemy AoEs. Honest mistake.

 

[Art of Quar]

just here to remind you to never trust a dragoon

I was able to cut in a World of Darkness run where 1/3 of the run rage quit. I have to say, that's a first. Alliance C was having issues with Angra Mainyu. I honestly can't imagine him being that difficult.

I think WoD might be somehow harder for pubs than having to do the basic math and single digit prime numbers in ridorana

Side question: Is there some kind of meta with pre-dropping Doton now or something? Because in both raids and dungeons, I keep regularly seeing Ninjas drop a Doton pre-pull (in the case of raids) or in-between pulls/when there's absolutely no enemies nearby (in dungeons). Or has the average Ninja just gone full retard over time?

It's because in organized statics for savage content, dropping the doton at max range 7 seconds pre-pull is just a bonus potency to your opener (since you still have all the mudra you need for the full opener.) The problem being that this needs coordination with the MT so the boss gets pulled into the doton, so when pubs do it, the tank rarely pulls the boss into the doton and it doesn't actually do anything.

From The Balance:
Why is there a doton in my opener? Because its free damage if the tank is willing to cooperate and pull the boss into the doton on pull.
oGCDs in Parentheses
-11s: Huton
-7s: Doton at max aggro range (Hide)
-1s: Suiton (Kassatsu) Spinning Edge (Potion) → Gust Slash (Mug + Bunshin) → Aeolian Edge → Spinning Edge (Trick Attack) → Shadow Fang (Dream Within a Dream) → Hyosho Ranryu (Assassinate) → Raiton (TCJ) → Fuma Shuriken [Ten] → Raiton [Chi] → Suiton [Jin] (Meisui) → Gust Slash (Bhavacakra) → Aeolian Edge (Bhavacakra) | Trick Attack ends | → Raiton

 

[Kane Lives]

I also had an AST let me drop then proceed to throw a fit at me during a levelling roulette a few weeks back for accidentally moving out of their Earthly Star during a big pull. The only thing I can say in my defense is that particular AoE is a little hard to see when I'm not completely looking out for it, didn't notice it go out, and I'm trying to reposition out of big enemy AoEs. Honest mistake.

I don't get pitching a fit if the tanks moves out of the healer bubble tbh. ESPECIALLY in levelling roulette.

At worst you're missing some healing ticks and damage mitigation but this isn't minimum ilevel ShB where every tick of heals matter. Most of the time it doesn't even matter; the mobs die easy anyway, and it's not like overall team DPS is badly affected if you spend a few GCDs healing. Even ShB content is now generally faceroll as these things often turn into. (Except Bardam's, which still hits so goddamned hard for some reason, and maybe ungeared tanks in Malikah's.)

 

[Gravemind]

I don't get pitching a fit if the tanks moves out of the healer bubble tbh. ESPECIALLY in levelling roulette.

At worst you're missing some healing ticks and damage mitigation but this isn't minimum ilevel ShB where every tick of heals matter. Most of the time it doesn't even matter; the mobs die easy anyway, and it's not like overall team DPS is badly affected if you spend a few GCDs healing. Even ShB content is now generally faceroll as these things often turn into. (Except Bardam's, which still hits so goddamned hard for some reason, and maybe ungeared tanks in Malikah's.)

Can confirm that Malikah's Well has hard hitters even for a geared Tank, because that was the one I just mentioned earlier where the healer "wasn't paying attention" and let me drop to an easy, baby trash pull, even though I was cycling CDs and doing just about everything I could to keep myself alive.

 

[Overcooked Raccoon]

Post some XIV lolcow twitters, I want to laugh at people.

I will do you one better.

There is a player infamous across Aether and now Crystal(since the DC split) known as Sovereign Phil. This player is a known booster, as in they pay someone actual money to then play on their account for clears. They've done this to clear every Savage Tier, and Ultimate tier. However Phil doesn't just stop there, he also boosts through ranked PVP (Feast) matches, and has been doing so since Stormblood. These are ranked matches with exclusive rewards and Phil has managed to weasel his way in through every single one. He actually caused a huge upset least season in ranked Feast by causing no one to play as they didn't want to feed into his boosting. Phil also has two accounts Sovereign Phil and Sovereign Phillia where is he paying god knows how much money to constantly get these rewards and has the actual nerve to act is if they know what they're doing. They wear the burger king crown, talk in their novice network, and are always looking for reasons to put down someone over dumb shit so that they can look like they can come out as the mentor.

The best part is Phil has actually released gameplay videos of HIM (not his booster) actually playing the game uploaded on his youtube channel, as a GNB in full 5.1 BiS including his TEA weapon and Perfect Legend title, and this faggot actually macroes almost all of his GCDs (you can tell by the little gear in the corner of each action on his hotbar). This person is one of the most pathetic, losers I have EVER met in this game, and I want all you to appreciate how bad this person is because they have zero idea of what they're doing.

Fun fact, there was a comment on this video before that said "So how much did you pay for your TEA clear?" which was deleted by Phil. He was also featured on the Shameless Clear Buyers FFXIV account before it was also taken down. You can also tell Phil only does this content if he can assure it's a clear, as he does zero Frontlines matches despite being in the top 100 for Feast multiple years now, all because it's RNG with the alliance system and is never assured and he has no idea how to play the mode.

This person is without a doubt one of the biggest pieces of shit I have ever seen playing this game. If you ever want of an example of a fucking loser look no further then the dude who probably shells out $400 (at least)+ every feast season and every new tier/ultimate just to get the rewards.

EDIT:
Phil has also removed comments altogether on the video I posted and from his youtube channel entirely. LMAO, if you're reading this in some kind of way Phil, we all know. Doing a quick search on google ties you right into Shameless Clear buyers and anyone with half a braincell can tell there's something going on with you.

 

[Dopey Cunt]

Time for todays segment of "Why are X shit?" Healer version, starring me and how pissed off they make me.

Spoiler: holy spam

-Great job wasting your mp to use holy on a single mob.

-Stop casting cure 3 on the tank, you're gonna run out of mp. Just fucking use cure and cure 2.

-Whms....sweeties, honies, babies. You have a literal skill that negates all mp usage for like 15 seconds. USE IT. Even better if you use it before casting a raise. If you use it combined with presence of mind, you become a machine gun of attacks with 0 MP cost.

-Astros, you have a literal skill that lets you instant cast spells for 15 seconds. USE IT.

-If I'm a white mage in a raid with an astro, why don't they ever use the sect OPPOSITE of what I am? Astros, here's a tip: if you see a whm co healing with you, use nocturnal sect, if they are a scholar, use diurnal. it's not that hard.

-If you choose nocturnal sect when there's a scholar in the party, you are a literal fucking brainlet. YOUR SHIELDS DO NOT STACK. I REPEAT, ASTROLOGIAN SHIELDS AND SCHOLAR SHIELDS DO NOT FUCKING STACK. Don't pick nocturnal when you have a scholar as a co healer. That pisses them off.

-Why am I getting balances placed on me when I'M A FUCKING DANCER AND THERE'S A SAMURAI IN THE PARTY?

-If divination isn't immediately being cast at the beginning of a pull as soon as you're able to, I'm side eyeing you super fucking hard. Astros have tools to make it happen. Draw a card before pull. After fight starts use the card. The cooldown is short enough where you can pull another card, if it's not the one you need, you can reshuffle until you get it. Use it. Then use Sleeve Draw to get the last symbol you need. Cast Divination, boom done. Near instant party wide 6% damage buff right at the start. Combine that with a dancer's tech step, a bard's songs, a ninja's trick attack, or a monk's brotherhood. Even better if you have 2 or more of these. NOW THAT'S A LOTTA DAMAGE. Damage = good.

-Scholars, your job is to SHIELD, so standing around and not shielding anyone before we get hit with a bunch of damage kind of defeats the point of you being a scholar. Switch to whm if you want to be a lazy cunt. Scholars aren't made for big dick healing, they're made for mitigating damage. The fairy alone won't pick up the slack for you.

-Why do I NEVER see a whispering dawn being cast? It's a fucking party wide HoT.

-You do realize fairies can be placed right? Stick your fairy smack in the middle of an arena so they can reach anyone. If you have to move around, just tell it to follow you again. Fairies are pets and GASP good golly garsh, you can command them to do things!

-We're 5 minutes into this pull, why do I not see a chain stratagem yet?

-People complain about scholars being a weak healer, especially for big mob pulls in dungeons, but here, let me help you. USE DISSIPATION AND OR CALL YOUR SERAPH. THAT IS WHY THEY ARE THERE. TO BE USED. Use whispering dawn, use fey illumination to help you. USE YOUR FUCKING TOOLS.

-Healers, if you're ever in a situation where both the tank and a dps are taking damage, the tank ALWAYS gets priority. Because guess what happens if the tank dies because you were too busy trying to heal a dps, that's riiiight WE ALL DIE.

-Also if you're getting attacked by a mob, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BRING IT TO THE TANK AND DON'T RUN AWAY WITH IT. Not only is it fucking goddamn annoying chasing after you but it also makes it harder for the tank to pull it off you if you keep PULLING IT OUT OF RANGE OF THEIR ATTACKS.

 

[Friendly_AI]

Time for todays segment of "Why are X shit?" Healer version, starring me and how pissed off they make me.

Spoiler: holy spam

-Great job wasting your mp to use holy on a single mob.

I usually spam Holy for AoE, after Assize, and since it has a long cast time, when just one mob remains, it's the Holy pressed couple of seconds ago that goes off. It also helps to accumulate Lilies faster, but you're right that one needs to be careful with their mp.

 

[Dopey Cunt]

I will do you one better.

There is a player infamous across Aether and now Crystal(since the DC split) known as Sovereign Phil. This player is a known booster, as in they pay someone actual money to then play on their account for clears. They've done this to clear every Savage Tier, and Ultimate tier. However Phil doesn't just stop there, he also boosts through ranked PVP (Feast) matches, and has been doing so since Stormblood. These are ranked matches with exclusive rewards and Phil has managed to weasel his way in through every single one. He actually caused a huge upset least season in ranked Feast by causing no one to play as they didn't want to feed into his boosting. Phil also has two accounts Sovereign Phil and Sovereign Phillia where is he paying god knows how much money to constantly get these rewards and has the actual nerve to act is if they know what they're doing. They wear the burger king crown, talk in their novice network, and are always looking for reasons to put down someone over dumb shit.

The best part is Phil has actually released gameplay videos of HIM (not his booster) actually playing the game uploaded on his youtube channel, as a GNB in full 5.1 BiS including his TEA weapon and Perfect Legend title, and this faggot actually macroes almost all of his GCDs (you can tell by the little gear in the corner of each action on his hotbar). This person is one of the most pathetic, losers I have EVER met in this game, and I want all you to appreciate how bad this person is because they have zero idea of what they're doing.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=KQXGJ8BfC60
Fun fact, there was a comment on this video before that said "So how much did you pay for your TEA clear?" which was deleted by Phil. He was also featured on the Shameless Clear Buyers FFXIV account before it was also taken down. You can also tell Phil only does this content if he can assure it's a clear, as he does zero Frontlines matches despite being in the top 100 for Feast multiple years now, all because it's RNG with the alliance system and is never assured and he has no idea how to play the mode.

This person is without a doubt one of the biggest pieces of shit I have ever seen playing this game. If you ever want of an example of a fucking loser look no further then the dude who probably shells out $400 (at least)+ every feast season and every new tier/ultimate just to get the rewards.

I thought paying other people to play the game for you was against ToS. Aren't people not supposed to be account sharing?

So how did this guy get away with it for this long and no action is being taken against him, despite him being so open with the fact that he pays people to get high tier rewards for him while robbing other, more skilled players from those rewards that he makes no effort himself to claim.

That's really sad and pathetic to deal out that much money for in game rewards in an MMO. There are children starving in 3rd world countries and this dick head wants to spend $400 for the Eden mount.

Smfh.

He needs to seppukku himself.

 

[Art of Quar]

The best part is Phil has actually released gameplay videos of HIM (not his booster) actually playing the game uploaded on his youtube channel, as a GNB in full 5.1 BiS including his TEA weapon and Perfect Legend title, and this faggot actually macroes almost all of his GCDs (you can tell by the little gear in the corner of each action on his hotbar).

Oh Jesus how much is he clipping his GCD with those macros? Sequential macros clip like half a second of GCD per cast, don't they?

He needs to seppukku himself.

To be fair he probably tried but since his suicide button was a macro it didn't buffer out of his last cast

 

[Overcooked Raccoon]

I thought paying other people to play the game for you was against ToS. Aren't people not supposed to be account sharing?

So how did this guy get away with it for this long and no action is being taken against him, despite him being so open with the fact that he pays people to get high tier rewards for him while robbing other, more skilled players from those rewards that he makes no effort himself to claim.

That's really sad and pathetic to deal out that much money for in game rewards in an MMO. There are children starving in 3rd world countries and this dick head wants to spend $400 for the Eden mount.

Smfh.

He needs to seppukku himself.

It is against ToS, however SE doesn't care. He's been reported multiple times and people in the know actually know who the booster(the person playing) is, but again SE just doesn't give a shit. They claim they have no way to properly track that being a thing, and since the convos are done not in game they can't text track everything. But anyone who enters into that rabbit hole knows immediately that they're clearly a booste. They've been reported multiple times, but they haven't even lifted a finger at giving them a ban, let alone a suspension, despite multiple people being denied and banned for dumb shit.

Funny story as well, there was also a player in ranked feast about two seasons ago who played bard. This person was clearly botting, as they were able to have their character move extremely fast like if they had sprint constantly. This player had been reported and had gotten clipped on twitch streams moving like this, the info was sent to SE, and yet they still did nothing. However the player was pretty much sniped on every instance and was pretty much bullied out of ranked matches because of what they did since the community is tight knit. Even now he's still on and doesn't play ranked in fear of reports but will still get sniped in Frontlines matches because he always uses bots to play.

Botting is way easier for them to go after, but boosting is far worse imo. It's straight up insulting for that reason you're ripping the rewards from someone else who's actually trying while you sit on your fat ass doing nothing. It doesn't happen often but with everyone knowing that they're a booster and SE not lifting a finger to it, really shows how much better a company like Blizzard is with handling shit like this.

The PvE stuff I view cowworthy because it's pathetic, but the PvP stuff is a whole different story that is just straight up wrong.

The community for XIV is a huge problem because of shit like this. If more people paid attention they'd see shit like this is just as bad as the people who mass reported for Ishgard rankings last week. That actually had mod action be taken care, but the PvP shit that's been going for years? "Nah bro that's fine no one cares, no one plays PvP lol"

Oh Jesus how much is he clipping his GCD with those macros? Sequential macros clip like half a second of GCD per cast, don't they?

To be fair he probably tried but since his suicide button was a macro it didn't buffer out of his last cast

He's doing a ton. Pretty much you're about like you want to aim for three lines or so for the macro to be read, so it's usually a delay of half-1 second. Add in the fact he's not weaving and it's a HUGE dps loss since his stuff would be completely off from his main damage buff No Mercy.

From what I remember looking at the footage he almost NEVER uses Rough Divide(Gap Closer with like 250 potency). So he's just sitting on charges for a long long time, and is obviously not using them to fill in the space from his combos. It's actually embarrassing and he's been made fun of by multiple GNB players (pve and pvp both) because this is just a shining example of a clear buyer.

 

[Gravemind]

Time for todays segment of "Why are X shit?" Healer version, starring me and how pissed off they make me.

Spoiler: holy spam

-Great job wasting your mp to use holy on a single mob.

-Stop casting cure 3 on the tank, you're gonna run out of mp. Just fucking use cure and cure 2.

-Whms....sweeties, honies, babies. You have a literal skill that negates all mp usage for like 15 seconds. USE IT. Even better if you use it before casting a raise. If you use it combined with presence of mind, you become a machine gun of attacks with 0 MP cost.

-Astros, you have a literal skill that lets you instant cast spells for 15 seconds. USE IT.

-If I'm a white mage in a raid with an astro, why don't they ever use the sect OPPOSITE of what I am? Astros, here's a tip: if you see a whm co healing with you, use nocturnal sect, if they are a scholar, use diurnal. it's not that hard.

-If you choose nocturnal sect when there's a scholar in the party, you are a literal fucking brainlet. YOUR SHIELDS DO NOT STACK. I REPEAT, ASTROLOGIAN SHIELDS AND SCHOLAR SHIELDS DO NOT FUCKING STACK. Don't pick nocturnal when you have a scholar as a co healer. That pisses them off.

-Why am I getting balances placed on me when I'M A FUCKING DANCER AND THERE'S A SAMURAI IN THE PARTY?

-If divination isn't immediately being cast at the beginning of a pull as soon as you're able to, I'm side eyeing you super fucking hard. Astros have tools to make it happen. Draw a card before pull. After fight starts use the card. The cooldown is short enough where you can pull another card, if it's not the one you need, you can reshuffle until you get it. Use it. Then use Sleeve Draw to get the last symbol you need. Cast Divination, boom done. Near instant party wide 6% damage buff right at the start. Combine that with a dancer's tech step, a bard's songs, a ninja's trick attack, or a monk's brotherhood. Even better if you have 2 or more of these. NOW THAT'S A LOTTA DAMAGE. Damage = good.

-Scholars, your job is to SHIELD, so standing around and not shielding anyone before we get hit with a bunch of damage kind of defeats the point of you being a scholar. Switch to whm if you want to be a lazy cunt. Scholars aren't made for big dick healing, they're made for mitigating damage. The fairy alone won't pick up the slack for you.

-Why do I NEVER see a whispering dawn being cast? It's a fucking party wide HoT.

-You do realize fairies can be placed right? Stick your fairy smack in the middle of an arena so they can reach anyone. If you have to move around, just tell it to follow you again. Fairies are pets and GASP good golly garsh, you can command them to do things!

-We're 5 minutes into this pull, why do I not see a chain stratagem yet?

-People complain about scholars being a weak healer, especially for big mob pulls in dungeons, but here, let me help you. USE DISSIPATION AND OR CALL YOUR SERAPH. THAT IS WHY THEY ARE THERE. TO BE USED. Use whispering dawn, use fey illumination to help you. USE YOUR FUCKING TOOLS.

-Healers, if you're ever in a situation where both the tank and a dps are taking damage, the tank ALWAYS gets priority. Because guess what happens if the tank dies because you were too busy trying to heal a dps, that's riiiight WE ALL DIE.

-Also if you're getting attacked by a mob, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BRING IT TO THE TANK AND DON'T RUN AWAY WITH IT. Not only is it fucking goddamn annoying chasing after you but it also makes it harder for the tank to pull it off you if you keep PULLING IT OUT OF RANGE OF THEIR ATTACKS.

Ver archivo adjunto 1873450

You just made me key into the fact that 70-80% of the healers I get partied with don't actually use their fucking toolkit.

I have a feeling of abject horror now, thanks.

 

[Art of Quar]

Which datacenter is thirstier, primal or crystal? Because I see ERP PFs at all hours of the day on Hyperion and the biggest brothel we have is run by an actual groomer who swatted someone who was streaming an expose on him.

 

[Shqueefa]

I thought paying other people to play the game for you was against ToS. Aren't people not supposed to be account sharing?

So how did this guy get away with it for this long and no action is being taken against him, despite him being so open with the fact that he pays people to get high tier rewards for him while robbing other, more skilled players from those rewards that he makes no effort himself to claim.

That's really sad and pathetic to deal out that much money for in game rewards in an MMO. There are children starving in 3rd world countries and this dick head wants to spend $400 for the Eden mount.

Smfh.

He needs to seppukku himself.

Square Enix doesn't care at all. There are people who have botted since HW and still do to this day with multiple accounts/characters. There are RMTs right in the party finder, along with ERP and other gross shit that they don't touch at all but if you dare say a swear word, you'll get a suspension. Hell, it's been found out that some of their own North American employees for this game have been shown to be abusive people who stalk and harass players in-game and IRL. One of them you an find easily by watching their god awful community streams who is front and center in the webcam. The best way to play this game is to find a small group of people to play so you can ignore all the sociopaths.

EDIT: You can read about one of the Square Enix employees here.

 

[FencePost]

You just made me key into the fact that 70-80% of the healers I get partied with don't actually use their fucking toolkit.

I have a feeling of abject horror now, thanks.

Which is a shame because Recitation > Adlo on MT > Deployment Tactics is one of the most satisfying things in any game that's ruined by the one or two dps who wandered out of range.
For AST, I personally prefer nocturnal sect, because I like SCH as well but I can see why people forget it exists since they use diurnal the large majority of the time while leveling but if someone's not switching in savages or extremes, then yeah they're dumb.