Orbiter Chris's Last Will and Testament

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Sounds more like Chris is going to try something really stupid. No, I don't mean doing-a-flip levels of stupid, but something just dumb.

Maybe just me tho, but I guess he is going to try to do the dimensional backflip to be with Sonichu or something similar, but he thinks he'll achieve this with drugs or rotten food in order to have a small high and he's guessing this dimensional backflip might somehow be dangerous and could probably off him, hence the will and all the rest of the video thingie. Hit me with your rainbow ratings if you wish ~

Personally I am not worried about Chris anymore, not for lack of empathy but because there is nothing I can do to change what he does at all anyway.
I wonder what would happen if Chris took DMT or some other potent psychedelic to try and dimensionally shift into the CWCville. Part of me thinks he would quickly descend into a nightmarish trip and start freaking out, but with his delusions of grandeur & minimal self awareness he might not. It would be a disturbing sight to behold either way. I could easily see someone trying to bait him into taking drugs, he already blazed up a bit with the teen troon squad iirc
 
Oh boy there's so much to unpack with this ....first of all how can Chris assume Barbara will still be alive when he's dead? I'm aware she's actually a lot tougher than she looks when propped up on camera but still, she's nearly 80 and hasn't exactly been living a life that promises you live to reach 100 in tip top shape.

Second does Chris even know how a will and testament works? It's not like how it's portrayed in cartoons (of course he based this charade off how it works there) he needs to hire an attorney and get a notary public to authorize this video and a paper copy for records really video wills are at best a novelty and way to give your final thoughts to those you loved but only a signed document is legally binding.

Then there's the matter of him leaving stuff to people. His own personal possessions? Sure he can do what he want with them but again attorney would need to know how to contact the people he gave them to and send them to him I'd they can't or won't go out to Virgina for them. As for the house...well again assuming the very unlikely chance barb is still alive it's her house it's not going to be Chriss unless she croaks first and she's left it to him in her own will. As for inheritance of the house given the huge debt either of them own on it well I don't know exactly how that works but I doubt either of them can just give it away to total strangers who aren't immediate family unless there's a very specific reason.

Finally there's my thoughts on Chris himself and how he conducted himself in the video. And frankly I could ALMOST feel sympathy for him...but my God, The idiot can't drop the fucking role play as sonichu complete with his self induced hallucination of seeing his pink slut beside him for four minutes to make a serious statement. Nor can he admit that death is death and there's no alternative dimension to cross over into when his body finally gives in (I believe we go on but Chris idea of life after death is so asine the atheist belief in cession of existence almost sounds better in comparison) that coupled with him hitting himself on the head and almost admitting how dumb and messed up he is with the whole "this mind is messed up." Spiel. It all just fees like Chris is at the end of his rope, reality is trying to come down on is little 38 year game of playtime at last ad he's trying to ignore it even though he's slowly accepting his own mortality too.



On the bright side...I recognize the poster behind him. It's for some brony webcomic, the creator was handing them out at the bc 2019 vendor hall
 
So a man that once bought much joy to many has been reduced to giving away trinkets to retards that are abusing his need to be loved.

Well Chris never achieved mainstream fame, but he got a reasonable simulation of it.
 
It's amazing CWC made it so far through such a shitty life without feeling suicidal (AFAIK). I guess he copes with vidya, Sonichu, and the Dimensional Merge. And at least "Classic Chris" thought that one day his life would just magically improve.*

*Like Sonichu would become a hit pop culture franchise, "Lovely Weather" would finally approach him as he derped around at a McDonald's, and people would stop mocking him on the internet.
 
ofcourse he spends over 200 dollars on a single transformer on the background.

Why not? I mean, it's not like he has bills or debts to pay (except for the ones he pays the bare minimum on or just flat-out ignores so he can buy more childish shit that just sits on shelves).
 
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I doubt this could be legally binding because it's Sonichu speaking, nobody could watch this video and say "yes, this adult just gave a legal will", could they? All it would take is proving that Chris "roleplays" as Sonichu, to invalidate this entire thing because it's clear in the video that Chris introduces himself as Sonichu, who does not legally exist and cannot legally die.
 
I'm curious what Chris' expected lifespan is, given his diet, exercise, and hygienic habits.

(From what I can tell, his entire diet is basically sugar, salt, and grease; I'm not sure he's ever worked out or seen the sun in years).
Borb both lived/are living for awhile, despite shit diets and lack of exercise; Bob even had a bad heart. That being said, Chris does have a shit diet, gets no exercise, has a family history of heart problems, is autistic, and takes tranny meds, so I'd personally be surprised if he makes it past 60. I'll be even more surprised if he doesn't have a health scare of some sort within the next decade.
 
I don’t understand how people can genuinely feel bad for Chris anymore. he’s always been an idiot and sometimes you can go that sucks for him, but it’s all because of his choices and inability to learn and grow, and that will always be his Achilles heel.
 
Maybe I'm missing something, but why does Chris think the end is near?
I love how the cwcki already is saying protip Chris is not going to kill himself stop saying that. You never know just what someone is capable of especially if they someday just lose it and realize there's nothing to lose.
 
This makes me feel bad for Chris. I mean yeah, she's made some mistakes in her life but I can respect the fact that she's trying to be his true and honest self.

She knows that Barb is dying just like Bob did and she's not sure how to process it. She literally can't imagine a world without Barbara just like she couldn't imagine a world without Bob. He knows the clock is ticking but accepting reality is too hard, so he rejects it. His mother has given him nothing, instead she's leached off his father's social security. She owns nothing and he will inherit nothing. Her home belongs to the bank and once his mother dies she'll be left with nothing. 14 Branchland Court belongs to the government, not Chris. When Barb dies Chris will be on the streets, and he won't survive outside of a group home setting.

Some might think this is perfectly justified and they may be right, but some might think he's a developmentally disabled adult who deserves better than what his guardians provided him. Both might have some truth to them.

I feel such empathy is not warranted for Chris. Yes, they had a sucktastic beginning, but so have a lot of people and despite the obvious mental handicaps of Autism, such things can and have been overcome by people.

With Chris, the Autism card and the bad upbringing card do not excuse him from doing things that he is obviously cognisant are against his long-term self interests but the short term is more desirable, consequences be damned. Case in point: the macing incident. The video recording clearly shows that he went into that Gamestop fully intending to use that mace and that he was aware he was still banned from that exact store. Indeed, he does a quick glance around right before macing the employee and then shuffling off, because he knew what he was about to do was going to get him in trouble without a valid reason and he did it anyway, later claiming he did have a valid reason (Narrator: he obviously never did).

The idea Chris is limited only goes so far, because numerous times people have tried to help him, but he will always retreat into his fantasies and short-term indulgences instead of making do with what he has and going for long-term permanent improvement of his life. It isn't that he isn't capable of changing, its that he simply refuses to change. In Alcoholics Anonymous, the first step is admitting that one has a problem.

Chris never in his entire life has ever admitted he has a problem or otherwise is not always in the right.

Even in the 'golden age' he was self entitled - the whole Bluespike thing for instance, where Chris had the choice between Julie (who was of course Bluespike all along) or the PSN accounts, Chris chose the former...but not because of any sense of morality, but because Chris had seen it was the moral choice in various media and he expected to get the girl and the PSN accounts because it was the 'right choice'. Entirely self-serving. And to this day, under the weird-ass video game goddess merge prophet schtick, Chris really hasn't changed at the core.
 
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