Orbiter Chris's Last Will and Testament

[CwChalk]

I like how Chris is giving all his shit to MKR instead of letting his poor ailing mother pawn it off for financial support and just sticking her with some retarded troon.

Well, one retarded troon is probably a step up as long as it isn't Chris.

Seriously though, this seems like some Idea Guy-motivated video. I doubt Chris or Barb would just willingly give any of their shit away unless there was some other factor in play.

 

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

Since it's never made really clear whether this is Chris's last will and testament or Sonichu's, try that one in a court of law...

And the TRUE first-person perspective involves fiddling with our lank, greasy hair. Also, the A/C cutting on or off is a 'sign'. Good to know.

'Give all of mine and Barb's stuff to MKRNightvee.' If Snorlax outlives you, Chris, that will is gonna be contested.

As has been stated, I don't think seriously that he's planning on offing himself and/or Barb. He's finally realised that he, too, is mortal, and it fucking scares him. It might genuinely help if he reached out to a genuine attorney or solicitor, but hey I guess that's too much like hard work.

 

[Vyxenn]

Reality of mortality is finally slapping him in the face and it isn't pretty.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Like planning everything, Chris does it half-assed. I doubt he spoke to Barb about this and I highly doubt she'd let two strangers move in. Unless Chris already discussed it with her and she agreed with it. Imagine her listening to the same words Chris used in this video. "What's a temple?"

 

[Pickle Inspector]

Maybe Chris is playing 4D chess with them?

He knows that his horde is worth so little that the time spent sorting through it automatically makes it a deficit business.

As for the troon moving in, Barb will make clean the dogshit out, and as soon as he’s done call the cops on his ass.

Also they’d be no way Barb would let anything of Chris’s go without a huge fight if he for some reason was presumed dead.

 

[Baguette Child]

This makes me feel bad for Chris. I mean yeah, she's

Stopped reading right there. If you genuinely cared about Chris' mental health you wouldn't indulge in his delusions. Chris is not trans, Chris is ill.

 

[Deadpool]

Go Kevin, go out and exploit him to the extreme!

 

[Tiger Tanaka]

I like how Chris is giving all his shit to MKR instead of letting his poor ailing mother pawn it off for financial support and just sticking her with some retarded troon.

It probably should go to Barb given her immunity to the toxicity of those items. Any possession of Chris Chan's will likely have the same positive chi around it as Sadako's Cursed Tape. I suspect when the bank comes to claim their property, the Chernobyl roof liquidators are going to be re-conscripted to clean the perimeter.

 

[Deadpool]

I'd love to read whatever message he sent to the wallflower. He probably started off with some insane babbling about being "Sonichu" writing her in behalf of his "mama".

Gee, I wonder why she didn't reply!

She was probably busy staring at her underwear clad father while writing incest erotica.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Imagine having such a lack of a life that you'd be participating in Chris's delusions at this point

 

[BScCollateral]

Taken at face value, this is a list of instructions for what to do if Mama vanishes off to C-127. I'm not sure it could be considered a will.

It's not even Chris giving the instructions; it's Sonichu. How can Sonichu leave Chris-Chan's stuff to Megan?

"Being of sound mind." Jesus.

 

[Murgeruni]

I wonder if he's body is getting ready to fail and this is the only way to cope with it. Not likely, but still. Even listening to him sounds like he is falling apart.

 

[Philosophy Phil]

So that means they'll inherit his debt as well? I mean the repo men will take whatever they can to recoup loss of debt, meaning not much will be leftover other than items deemed "Too crusty to pawn."

Great prize there.

 

[Fapcop]

I dunno about you guys, but in the eventually that Chris diesnor disappears, I’d pay good money to be a fly on the wall at any sort of hearing involving that will...

”Your honor, I must OBJECT! The person featured in the ‘Last Will and Testament’ video tape entered into evidence by opposing counsel IS NOT Christine Weston Chandler, but a certain Electric Hedgehog going by the name of Sonichu, that the deceased was channeling at the time! I therefore move to strike the will off the record!”

 

[Pvt. Real G]

after a chris content drought, finally some new shit. Yoooo, are there gonna be more leaks?

 

[Raiken]

ofcourse he spends over 200 dollars on a single transformer on the background.

 

[Picklechu]

So, that Fairchild guy is totally the person who created the original CWCki article and then came here to talk about it, right?

No, if Chris is put in a group home the other tards will rape and murder him.

While wearing Bob's clothes, and afterwards, they'll dig up Patti.

Also they’d be no way Barb would let anything of Chris’s go without a huge fight if he for some reason was presumed dead.

Chris' shit would become part of the Hoard.

So that means they'll inherit his debt as well? I mean the repo men will take whatever they can to recoup loss of debt, meaning not much will be leftover other than items deemed "Too crusty to pawn."

Great prize there.

Even if this "will" somehow could hold up legally (L-O-fucking-L), debt can't be inherited in the United States. Also, Chris has nothing of any real value for his creditors to take.

 

[Super Book]

I'm not ready for all the god awful thinkpieces that are going to come out when Chris finally kicks the bucket.

 

[Booey]

I'm not ready for all the god awful thinkpieces that are going to come out when Chris finally kicks the bucket.

I hope one of those think pieces is about who will inherit Officer Nasty

 

[StraightShooter2]

I'm curious what Chris' expected lifespan is, given his diet, exercise, and hygienic habits.

(From what I can tell, his entire diet is basically sugar, salt, and grease; I'm not sure he's ever worked out or seen the sun in years).