Orbiter Chris's Last Will and Testament

[Pickle Inspector]

Why Chris is talking about only himself disappearing?

I thought the merge was a global event where people either survived it or didn’t?

Chris better not be considering something like:

Spoiler

 

[Chan Fan]

If Barbara wanted help in her old age she could have just not been a dirtbag her whole life and isolated herself from her family. And the delusion that he thinks anyone would live there by choice after he dies makes me sad

 

[Fapcop]

Why Chris is talking about only himself disappearing?

I thought the merge was a global event where people either survived it or didn’t?

Chris better not be considering something like:

Spoiler

Doubt it. And we can thank the idea guys for that.

They seemed to have knocked it into his head that suicide is taboo in Sonichu culture, and you can’t be a Sonichu if you threaten with or commit suicide.

So something good came from that I suppose, even though the chances of Chris doing an hero were always pretty slim.

He likes himself way too much to commit suicide.

 

[Leopold II of Belgium]

Holy shit the bags under his eyes

 

[Zvantastika]

Sounds more like Chris is going to try something really stupid. No, I don't mean doing-a-flip levels of stupid, but something just dumb.

Maybe just me tho, but I guess he is going to try to do the dimensional backflip to be with Sonichu or something similar, but he thinks he'll achieve this with drugs or rotten food in order to have a small high and he's guessing this dimensional backflip might somehow be dangerous and could probably off him, hence the will and all the rest of the video thingie. Hit me with your rainbow ratings if you wish ~

Personally I am not worried about Chris anymore, not for lack of empathy but because there is nothing I can do to change what he does at all anyway.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

Is this supposed to be some sort of new Idea Gai?

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

This makes me feel bad for Chris. I mean yeah, she's made some mistakes in her life but I can respect the fact that she's trying to be his true and honest self.

She knows that Barb is dying just like Bob did and she's not sure how to process it. She literally can't imagine a world without Barbara just like she couldn't imagine a world without Bob. He knows the clock is ticking but accepting reality is too hard, so he rejects it. His mother has given him nothing, instead she's leached off his father's social security. She owns nothing and he will inherit nothing. Her home belongs to the bank and once his mother dies she'll be left with nothing. 14 Branchland Court belongs to the government, not Chris. When Barb dies Chris will be on the streets, and he won't survive outside of a group home setting.

Some might think this is perfectly justified and they may be right, but some might think he's a developmentally disabled adult who deserves better than what his guardians provided him. Both might have some truth to them.

This. A thousand times this. Chris knows the walls are closing in and is slowly confronting the fact that, as a human being, he has utterly failed in every way possible.

 

[Aldora]

Whatever happens, Chris will survive.

He will forever be at the mercy of other people, but he will never be the homeless bum that people here imagine he will be.

Chris is wholly pathetic in every sense, and there will always be some kind soul that will take pity on him, and/or some troll that will make him dance for pennies.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

Sounds more like Chris is going to try something really stupid. No, I don't mean doing-a-flip levels of stupid, but something just dumb.

Maybe just me tho, but I guess he is going to try to do the dimensional backflip to be with Sonichu or something similar, but he thinks he'll achieve this with drugs or rotten food in order to have a small high and he's guessing this dimensional backflip might somehow be dangerous and could probably off him, hence the will and all the rest of the video thingie. Hit me with your rainbow ratings if you wish ~

Personally I am not worried about Chris anymore, not for lack of empathy but because there is nothing I can do to change what he does at all anyway.

If it was the olde Chris times he'd record himself running into a wall hidden portal.

 

[Spergichu]

I like how Chris is giving all his shit to MKR instead of letting his poor ailing mother pawn it off for financial support and just sticking her with some retarded troon.

 

[jawsome]

He ain't doing shit. Like everything else in the past 10 years, he was manipulated into doing it. Same people who told him this is a good idea are the same people taking money from him. Why would you convince your personal ATM to off themselves?

Just another episode of Fuckin with Da Tard Staring ya boi except no one is going to bail him out this time.

 

[Kingfisher9000]

that is a thinggoingclickclickclickclick....

if you only knew. Camera! Zerozerozerzerzerzer... the true first person perspective

I feel bad for Sonichu. It must be frustrating trying to communicate complex metaphysical concepts when you’re an extradimensional hedgehog trapped in the physical realm with the brain of a retard. Like a really autistic version of Beyond the Wall of Sleep.

 

[Jason Wynn]

He's not going to do anything. Suicide takes effort. Just tell him it's work and he'll recoil like Pazuzu being sprinkled with holy water.

 

[The Dude]

This shit right here is why we need to bring back mental asylums and make it easier to commit the mentally ill (and the fakers). It will relieve the burden on society and will scare the fakers straight (or at least get them out of the way).

Chris...does not look good. He's starting to look like he's literally rotting away, yet he's getting fatter ironically. It's almost like living a sedentary life of pure escapism and never facing reality is an unhealthy way to live.

 

[Cletus Kasady]

Is this supposed to be some sort of new Idea Gai?

i thought the idea guys broke up.

 

[CrazyRandomZyn]

So, this will is OPL's plan for when Barb kicks the bucket??
I'm quite surprised that Chris is still hung up on the Wallflower, despite her also having a thread here. I always assumed Chris would quickly forget about any potential sweethearts as soon as they dump him in favor for his fictional universe/comic/belief that he's a CPU Goddess or whatever.

 

[Fapcop]

I like how Chris is giving all his shit to MKR instead of letting his poor ailing mother pawn it off for financial support and just sticking her with some retarded troon.

Maybe Chris is playing 4D chess with them?

He knows that his horde is worth so little that the time spent sorting through it automatically makes it a deficit business.

As for the troon moving in, Barb will make clean the dogshit out, and as soon as he’s done call the cops on his ass.

 

[DeeCeeBees]

Goddammit. Did Chris buy another Keurig?

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

I'd love to read whatever message he sent to the wallflower. He probably started off with some insane babbling about being "Sonichu" writing her in behalf of his "mama".

Gee, I wonder why she didn't reply!

 

[Booey]

Nothing of interest on the discord. I Always thought Null would get a little something when Chris finally gave up the ghost and resigned himself to being diddled by the devil.