🍗 Deathfat Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votos: 27 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votos: 147 5.3%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votos: 385 13.8%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votos: 560 20.1%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votos: 424 15.2%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votos: 334 12.0%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votos: 206 7.4%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votos: 705 25.3%

  • Total de votantes
    2,788
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LOL. I sincerely doubt that a human hippo like Tess is going to be satisfied with toast and jam for breakfast. She's going to eat all three of the day's meals and chase it down with a mega sized iced coffee and a dozen donuts at Dunkin'.

Donuts are totally vegetarian, y'all!
 
LOL. I sincerely doubt that a human hippo like Tess is going to be satisfied with toast and jam for breakfast. She's going to eat all three of the day's meals and chase it down with a mega sized iced coffee and a dozen donuts at Dunkin'.

Donuts are totally vegetarian, y'all!
Yeah, I see a repeat of Chantal's devouring of three days' worth of ready-made meals all at once, and the subsequent fast food pig-out. Nobody gets to Tess's or Chantal's size by practicing restraint, and I don't expect that to change for her without intensive psychotherapy (which she'll never get). Fatties gotta fat, y'all, and there's always another shipment of ice cream or custom-decorated cupcakes headed her way.
 
I suspect that Tess isn't actually paying for this, and that it's the company comping her these meals because they want to convince other deathfats to buy this GOOP-lite woo-woo diet. Even with fat fetish paypigs, there's no way Messy Tessie could afford this overpriced rabbit food.

Of course, once the company realizes that Tess will continue to become a living couch despite their "healthy meals", they're going to bail on her, she'll shit all over them, and then yet another bridge will be burned. The cycle of fat and failure will continue onward.
 
Tess: "Omg such vegan clean eating, small portions, gonna lose weight!"
Also Tess: makes cookies to accompany clean eating program
"Making" those cookies involved slicing rounds of pre-made dough off the plastic-wrapped log it came in. Standing at a kitchen counter to show her kid how to measure out ingredients, stir them together, and actually form cookies is too much work for her; it cuts into her precious Instagramming time.
 
Where I live $420 puts a nice roof over your head.

I'm totally not the market audience for this meal service.
However, seeing somebody like Tess pimp stuff, totally turns me off from seriously considering a service or product.

There is no way people who can afford $420 a week, for one person do not feel the same way.

And if Tess was truly sticking to this meal service alone, she would be dropping weight like all get-out.
I was thinking about signing up for Fabletics, I thought some of the stuff was nice, and I liked that they had bigger sizes.
But once I found out Tess shills it, no thank you.
 
I don't think I was spending $420 a month on food when I was buying bulk packs of chicken at $1.99/lb, ground beef at $2.99/lb, and strip steaks at $7.49/lb (pre corona prices).

Tess is spending this in a WEEK on bullshit food.
I don't spend that much in a month for multiple people, and that's including buying meat and a ton of fresh produce. This has to be some kind of sponsorship so they can shill their program as healthy for sustainable weight loss. Joke's on them, she will only gain and never lose.
 
$420...for five days...for one person. This has to be a scam right? There is no way that food is worth that much. I'm not even sure how you would pay that much if you went grocery shopping for yourself unless you bought way too much.

Where I live $420 puts a nice roof over your head.
Where I live, I could pay a decently pricey mortgage 2X over for that price per week.
 
Their food is very low on protein. That is all I have to say.
It's all very high in carbs as well. The only protein sources are; lentils, chia seed, almond butter, pumpkin seeds, flax seeds, oats, avocado and brown rice. With most of the protein sources already having a large amount of carbs in them. Tess will never feel full. The meal plan should of added; Spirulina, broccoli, nutritional yeast, tofu, chickpeas and quinoa. It still would of not been enough for Tess, but it would of helped her feel a little more full after meals.
 
I haven't looked at the whole website, but I guarantee that somewhere (maybe included in the overpriced box) there is a paragraph stating that this is GUARANTEED weight loss or weight maintenance IF you follow the program exactly.
That means drinking plain water and NOTHING but plain water and the one piddly ass Anthropolgie tea pack per day
NO McDick's, No In and Out, No Steak n Shake, No Five Guys, just...NO (smacks Guntster over the head with a rolled up newspaper)
Light to moderate activity.
NO EXTRA FOOD
WATER, Tess. No Pepsi, WATER. And no, you can't have Crystal Light because I DO NOT believe in you.

And items like roasted peach chana masala might sound "sexy" for something different. But if you're an average American like me, this will put you in kill mode inside 24 hours. We just are not used to sweet/savory Moroccan and Indian flavor profiles every day. This is just vegan instathot orthorexic food. Fine if you already eat like this. NOT FINE if you plan to make a lifestyle change which Guntster is not.
 
It's all very high in carbs as well. The only protein sources are; lentils, chia seed, almond butter, pumpkin seeds, flax seeds, oats, avocado and brown rice. With most of the protein sources already having a large amount of carbs in them. Tess will never feel full. The meal plan should of added; Spirulina, broccoli, nutritional yeast, tofu, chickpeas and quinoa. It still would of not been enough for Tess, but it would of helped her feel a little more full after meals.
I just can’t imagine how many more times she’ll need to use the bathroom with this meal plan. Plant based and vegan diets usually mean more bathroom trips (due to high fiber). She’s going to have some expensive poop at the end of this. I feel bad for whomever will have to wipe her.
 
Tess posts a birthday throwback, featuring yet another cake
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Ok, so is addition to her being the fattest bitch of a whole pack of fat bitches, by my reckoning this is the THIRD cake she had for her birthday - or, an even more scary thought, this is merely the third birthday cake she documented.

The first was the weird sculptural cake of herself in a pool, accompanied by a smorgasbord of sweets; the second was the dozen free birthday cupcakes; and this is the third cake.

In addition to these "birthday" cakes, she's gotten free cupcakes to accompany that LA / chola wannabe makeup brand, and then there's the craptastic m&m cookies she made last night.

I don't know any normal adult who eats 5 multi serving desserts in just a couple weeks' time. This is why you're fat, Ryann, and no amount of pre portioned hippy food is going to cancel out all the cakes, snacks, and other shit you throw down your gullet.

Why do fats think that if they eat some ostensibly healthy food, not only does the healthy food have zero calories, it cancels out anything "bad" they eat?
 
Tess posts a birthday throwback, featuring yet another cake
Ver archivo adjunto 1470607

Ok, so is addition to her being the fattest bitch of a whole pack of fat bitches, by my reckoning this is the THIRD cake she had for her birthday - or, an even more scary thought, this is merely the third birthday cake she documented.

The first was the weird sculptural cake of herself in a pool, accompanied by a smorgasbord of sweets; the second was the dozen free birthday cupcakes; and this is the third cake.

In addition to these "birthday" cakes, she's gotten free cupcakes to accompany that LA / chola wannabe makeup brand, and then there's the craptastic m&m cookies she made last night.

I don't know any normal adult who eats 5 multi serving desserts in just a couple weeks' time. This is why you're fat, Ryann, and no amount of pre portioned hippy food is going to cancel out all the cakes, snacks, and other shit you throw down your gullet.

Why do fats think that if they eat some ostensibly healthy food, not only does the healthy food have zero calories, it cancels out anything "bad" they eat?
I grabbed a screenshot of the video:
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It’s amazing how big she truly looks when standing next to other people (that are overweight as well). Also, that is one ugly dress that Tess is wearing.
 
Jesus, she looks utterly rectangular in that hideous frock. She has corners, ffs.
That drop waist isn't helping matters - but when you need to order size 26-28, they're also needing to accommodate for tall fatties like Anna / Glitter. Tess is 5'2", so by the time she finds a mummu that can fit around her waist and arms, the waist is around her hips.
 
Tess posts a birthday throwback, featuring yet another cake
Ver archivo adjunto 1470607

Ok, so is addition to her being the fattest bitch of a whole pack of fat bitches, by my reckoning this is the THIRD cake she had for her birthday - or, an even more scary thought, this is merely the third birthday cake she documented.

The first was the weird sculptural cake of herself in a pool, accompanied by a smorgasbord of sweets; the second was the dozen free birthday cupcakes; and this is the third cake.

In addition to these "birthday" cakes, she's gotten free cupcakes to accompany that LA / chola wannabe makeup brand, and then there's the craptastic m&m cookies she made last night.

I don't know any normal adult who eats 5 multi serving desserts in just a couple weeks' time. This is why you're fat, Ryann, and no amount of pre portioned hippy food is going to cancel out all the cakes, snacks, and other shit you throw down your gullet.

Why do fats think that if they eat some ostensibly healthy food, not only does the healthy food have zero calories, it cancels out anything "bad" they eat?
This is a sponsored ad for an alcoholic beverage, and while she looks bad in the screencap, the whole video is super awkward and embarrassing. none of them look like they are authentically having funl
 
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