I don't know what to say 06/04/20 - "not at the beginning stage"

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I've had a few hours to ponder all of this, the original video & the thoughtful comments & solid info provided here. It's possible she misunderstood something she was told & immediately went to "worst case!" thinking. Or... she may very well have endometrial cancer & I doubt any sane person could argue with the many added difficulties her weight is going to add to further testing as well as treatment.

I'm struggling with mixed feelings. There's more than a tiny part of me thinking: "TOLD you something bad would happen with your health as a consequence of not taking weight loss seriously." I don't like that aspect of myself - but it's there. Cancer is a scary word - it just IS & more so when you've seen people suffer its many indignities as a result of some of the treatments. Everybody in a patient's immediate circle is affected & many in ways they couldn't possibly have anticipated.

I don't hold out much hope for her dealing with this with any degree of maturity. The tears & panic we saw today - perfectly understandable but there comes a time where you have to move beyond that & be prepared to THINK, to try & grasp the ramifications of treatment options the doctor is giving you, make a choice & as much as possible in advance, set up things to minimize disruptions, impacts, pain, wear & tear on others, etc. Example - if she's told she has to get "old fashioned" surgery - sliced from stem to stern, she should be able to figure out she's going to be bedbound for a time & that will impact the entire household. A sensible person would explore the possibility of hiring a home care agency to come in & help with personal hygiene, turning you & all that other stuff it's hard to do yourself early in the day & before bedtime for a bit.

A sensible person would find online cancer support groups - there are wonderful ones out there & once the surgeon & hospital are chosen, ask if the hospital has such a group. They can be a Godsend, as other patients post tips or tricks to handle various issues that can crop up. And it's SUPPORT from those who know exactly what you're experiencing.

Anyone else find it more than a bit sad that she immediately turned to "the Haydurs" for support & validation? There's a hint there that she doesn't see Becky as "close enough" to her to provide that... unless for once she's being a bit selfless & thinking Becky has enough on her plate. I'm cynical enough to think she doesn't have close enough friends to really help her through this & if she does & knowing how much of an emotional vampire she is - she'll suck them dry in a month or less.

This gives her the perfect opportunity to double down on her self serving behaviour. Who's going to refuse to go get fast food & orange chicken because... "might be dying?" It takes a person with a strong backbone to show love by doing RIGHT by a patient instad of catering to their every whim.

If there was ever a time an adult needed to move into that household & take over "Managing Amber", this is it. Not sure if she's got to this stage yet but a lot of things need doing & soon. As doctors say: "It wouldn't hurt to put your affairs in order right now." I appreciate her first instinct was: "I need my Mommy" - that's her level but she wants someone to soak up all her feelz for her. She needs an authoritative parental figure to help her negotiate the very real, very adult decisions she's going to have to make & has no clue how to handle. I know, not going to happen but if she reverts to her base level of... being, she's going to do her damnedest to make sure everything revolves around HER & given enough time, that is going to blow that household apart.

Ricky & Eric don't need her crap & it won't occur to her to NOT impose her will on anybody around her to get what she wants… but not necessarily what she needs.

I'll be very curious to see how much of the true situation she chooses to share. If she's inclined to gloss over significant details, I have every expectation that plenty of farmers can figure out what's really going on. She won't be able to hide the fact that she's getting certain treatments - it's going to show & show HARD & she may not be able at times, to do much filming.

It sure wouldn't be my priority.
 
Why wouldn’t she take time to compose herself before making a video? Be like this lady:

 
"You're going to die because of your obesity."
"I feel great! No diabeetus! PERFECT blood pressure!"
"You're going to die because of your obesity."
"Those doctors keep saying stuff about my weight, but, like, why can't they tell me the real way to make my issues go away and not just to fix my diet, sleep schedule and menthuls?"
"You're going to die because of your obesity."
"I know what's best for meee!"
"You're going to die because of your obesity."
"Shut up, haydur! Fatphobia!"
"You're going to die because of your obesity."
"Fucking PATHETIC. And I will go to my grave saying that the majority of you are fucking idiots." (c)
"You're going to die because of your obesity."
"YAS DOC! NO one EVER warned me about THAT!" *clap clap*

"You're dying, your obesity has been a major contributing factor to the development of your condition."
*surprised Pikachu face*

Granted, I'm currently in the camp of cynics and skeptics as far as the actual diagnosis is concerned. Amber is 1) not smart 2) is known to register a word or two of what a doctor is saying to her and immediately blow that out of proportion 3) is terrified, so amplify 1 and 2 by a thousand. So I guess all we can do is wait for an update where she can at least speak coherently.
That said, all I could think of when I read the title was "Welp. There it is.". We were expecting diabetes or infection, hell, even Corona seemed more likely. But, as many had already said, hindsight is 20/20 and many of her issues make much more sense now.
 
Throughout the years I've always thought to myself that amber and Becky needed adult supervision, even tho they themselves are hitting 30. Now more than ever amber needs a level headed adult around her but sadly she doesn't have that...she barely could remember anything the doctor did to her at the ER and it wasn't because she was groggy she just can't retain simple info. Shes always asking becky simple questions like a little child. If amber truly has cancer she needs to really take action and choose between dairy queen or save the one body she has.

Im sorry of I'm super late but is ambers mom on probation or something? or does she actively avoid amber due to her sobriety/mental health? If she didn't burn every bridge she could get support from tammy or that one foster parent she said she still talks to. Smh a fucking mess.
 
This will mark me as a dispeckful piece of shit, but I don't feel bad for her. I've tried. I've even tried to feel bad for Becky, but I don't. They are such vile people. If someone had to get cancer, it may as well be #Amberlynn.
 
Here's some info from a board review book. Can you guess which risk factor is the most common and most easily modifiable risk factor doctors are recommended to discuss with their patients? Prognosis is good after a hysterectomy, but her saying she should have gone to the doctor earlier makes it seem like it might have spread.
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If she just skips the Bedbound Saga and goes straight to being dead, I am going to be very upset.
 
Dosey dijo:
"You're going to die because of your obesity."
"I feel great! No diabeetus! PERFECT blood pressure!"
"You're going to die because of your obesity."
"Those doctors keep saying stuff about my weight, but, like, why can't they tell me the real way to make my issues go away and not just to fix my diet, sleep schedule and menthuls?"
"You're going to die because of your obesity."
"I know what's best for meee!"
"You're going to die because of your obesity."
"Shut up, haydur! Fatphobia!"
"You're going to die because of your obesity."
"Fucking PATHETIC. And I will go to my grave saying that the majority of you are fucking idiots." (c)
"You're going to die because of your obesity."
"YAS DOC! NO one EVER warned me about THAT!" *clap clap*

"You're dying, your obesity has been a major contributing factor to the development of your condition."
*surprised Pikachu face*

Granted, I'm currently in the camp of cynics and skeptics as far as the actual diagnosis is concerned. Amber is 1) not smart 2) is known to register a word or two of what a doctor is saying to her and immediately blow that out of proportion 3) is terrified, so amplify 1 and 2 by a thousand. So I guess all we can do is wait for an update where she can at least speak coherently.
That said, all I could think of when I read the title was "Welp. There it is.". We were expecting diabetes or infection, hell, even Corona seemed more likely. But, as many had already said, hindsight is 20/20 and many of her issues make much more sense now.
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Yea honestly she could have been told she has “abnormal cells” and she’s over here telling us she’s got cancer .. she literally held her period in for years .. I didn’t realize that was even possible . She is not in tune with her body whatsoever.
 
Slimy Time dijo:
I don't think she's lying. She does however have an IQ hovering slightly below room temperature. Outside of a blubbering, wailing, teeth gnashing video of ALR bawling her eyes out into the camera, we have little information about the exact condition other than "cancer in my womb and in my uterus". Whatever she conveys is not the most reliable source of info. It's possible that she has early stage cancer or something that could turn to cancer, heard the C word, thought about Becky's dying mother and freaked. Until I hear a specific stage, surgery or chemo mentioned, I would take it with a pinch of salt.

On the other hand, it could be serious, in which case, she's likely fucked with no healthcare plan or insurance and her weight making procedures difficult.
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Well said. I do hope this is a case of her being told that it was pre-cancerous changes and freaking out, and if not, I hope she can get to a healthy enough weight to be able to do surgery without dying under anesthesia. The anesthesia for a DNC is typically local and she was experiencing sleep anea symptoms....
 
It's amazing that whales don't get terminal cancer. See they are so large that when cancer occurs it grows so big that they divide into different kinds of cancer that they try to metastasize each other. It's like that Mr. Burns having every disease gag it's wild. Anyways farms, can you name more large mammals that can survive cancer?
 
very sad. obesity is of course a substantial risk factor for this kind of cancer, but also when she kept getting warning signs but refused to see a doc and shopped around instead she lost precious time.

i hope for a successful surgery and a quick and speedy recovery but there's just no way it'll be that simple.

Xenomorph dijo:
The cancer is not what will kill her, the surgery/recovery will. She has sleep apnea, heart problems, beetus, prone to multiple infections and who knows what else. If she doesnt stroke out or have heart failure fro surgery itself she will die of infection.
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very important point. some people can survive for years and years on chemo or other cancer treatment programs because they have no or minimal underlying health problems (grandpa was a case in point---rip), but for someone so unhealthy to begin with the treatment will be brutal and she's pretty much run out of time to get her body in better shape for it.
 
Dosey dijo:
"You're going to die because of your obesity."
"I feel great! No diabeetus! PERFECT blood pressure!"
"You're going to die because of your obesity."
"Those doctors keep saying stuff about my weight, but, like, why can't they tell me the real way to make my issues go away and not just to fix my diet, sleep schedule and menthuls?"
"You're going to die because of your obesity."
"I know what's best for meee!"
"You're going to die because of your obesity."
"Shut up, haydur! Fatphobia!"
"You're going to die because of your obesity."
"Fucking PATHETIC. And I will go to my grave saying that the majority of you are fucking idiots." (c)
"You're going to die because of your obesity."
"YAS DOC! NO one EVER warned me about THAT!" *clap clap*

"You're dying, your obesity has been a major contributing factor to the development of your condition."
*surprised Pikachu face*

Granted, I'm currently in the camp of cynics and skeptics as far as the actual diagnosis is concerned. Amber is 1) not smart 2) is known to register a word or two of what a doctor is saying to her and immediately blow that out of proportion 3) is terrified, so amplify 1 and 2 by a thousand. So I guess all we can do is wait for an update where she can at least speak coherently.
That said, all I could think of when I read the title was "Welp. There it is.". We were expecting diabetes or infection, hell, even Corona seemed more likely. But, as many had already said, hindsight is 20/20 and many of her issues make much more sense now.
Presiona para expandir...
Yea honestly she could have been told she has “abnormal cells” and she’s over here telling us she’s got cancer .. she literally held her period in for years .. I didn’t realize that was even possible . She is not in tune with her body whatsoever.
Bicassie dijo:
I only feel bad for Becky...her mental health is probably further deteriorating as we speak (aswell as her mom)....yikes
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thats what I was thinking between the mom and amber Lynn ... poor girl . Amber wanted to be “the victim “‘so bad to grab all Beckys attention .. welp.. careful what you wish for ...

najobo dijo:
The hospital's social services will fast-track her onto Medicaid. Cancer is pretty undeniable, and it's in their best interest to ensure payment/coverage for Amber. If I was her, I'd be more concerned about the surgery... even an appendectomy would be risky at her weight. Amber needs to ditch an entire organ.

I mean, this is sad. She's not an evil horrowcow like Susie Schofield, or even a nasty Colt-level grifter.
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I’ll be so pissed if she gets Medicaid .. that’s for people in need .. google says her networth is $1 million , Even if that’s an exaggeration... she needs to PAY for her health insurance for her self induced problems instead of hopping on the “free” bandwagon... which those of us who work pay taxes for
 
welsho dijo:
She had so many symptoms (leg/back pain, abnormal periods, fatigue, etc.) but always blew them off or attributed them to her weight. Hopefully her diagnosis will convince someone to take their health seriously and get checked out.

I don't know how Becky makes it through possibly losing her mom and then her gf going through cancer. That's a lot for anyone, but for Becky who still longs for a nephew who passed years ago and has her own medical issue to deal with...that's a colossal amount of shit to deal with.

brb; going to ask Misty Dawn for some lotto numbers
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Yea I’m sure w all those symptoms, including recent weight loss (No wonder she said she didn’t do anything different, it was the cancer) it spread by now. Some of those tend to be neurological type symptoms (the eye twitching and stuff) so could def metastasized to the brain.
 
She needs to act quickly and stick to her treatment plan. I know she has a respect/authority issue with doctors who don't tell her what she wants, but if there was ever a time to grow up.. I don't want to PL about folks I know who are or went through cancer in this area, so I'll just say, with a hysterectomy and a round of chemo and radiation, this could be something she looks back on as a scary, distant memory (assuming she gets her life together to live a long life, outside of any cancer.) If she acts freaked out now, but then gets scared and puts it off and lets it spread to someplace else, it could go from something very treatable to a very different scenario. Compliance and vigilance are needed.

Obesity can kill you quicker than some cancers. I don't understand people like this who do things to severely impact their health, but then the big C scares them. Cancer MIGHT kill you, but being 500-600s absolutely will..just a matter of when. Diabetes and high blood pressure can kill you. Untreated sleep apnea can kill you....just not waking up in the morning isn't scary? People told her to get insurance, to see a gyno and get a primary care physician. This makes me wonder about her stroke-like eye/facial movements everyone's noticed for the last year or more, however long ago that Burger King mukbang was.

If she gets a total hysterectomy, and that's a safe bet, and the main part of a cure for many, the means associated with a quicker healing time and less pain is going in via the vagina. Getting cut in the abdomen means a longer time in the hospital, more pain, and a longer recovery time. Not everyone is eligible for any particular type of surgery, not sure if her weight would make it more likely that they go that route, or less. I'd think more, because of cutting through fat.

On top of that, she thought the ER bills were bad? Surgery, possible chemo, radiation, medication, things to make her more comfortable while going through it..
 
Última edición:
Isn't this an exceptionally fast turnaround for a cancer screening? The only way it would be returned this fast is if the office she went to has its own lab. If the sample was taken at an ER, that's not likely.

I'd guess she was referred to a specialist to do more testing and now she's flipping out. RIP tho.
 
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