💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votos: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votos: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votos: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votos: 34 2.1%
  • October-November 2024

    Votos: 37 2.3%
  • December 2024

    Votos: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votos: 256 16.1%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votos: 260 16.4%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votos: 929 58.5%

  • Total de votantes
    1,589
How the fuck do you get a salad up to 1300 calories? Pour pure lard over it?
Restaurant salads are shockingly prone to being just as bad as the entrees when you actually start comparing numbers. Sure, it starts with some lettuce, which is basically just water and fiber. Maybe a few tomatoes, which are the same but a tad sweeter (sugar). But once it's loaded up with dressing, cheese, croutons, etc., it's basically just an entree with some lettuce for garnish.

Fitting, because they're catering to fat fucks who want to eat a whole entree but also want to lie to themselves and pretend they're eating healthy.

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Well, almost as bad as the entrees. Entrees actually tend to be even worse.

edit: and honestly that salad is above the bar... at least it's topped with a nice, clean protein. On a lot of salads, even the protein is breaded and deep fried.
 
Última edición:
Because they're usually a plate of fried bread (croutons), sugar, cream and butter (dressing), bacon, cheese, egg and meat garnished with a few leaves.

Actually much healthier to just eat a burger
 
It costs 0 dollars to pay attention to the shit you purchase. But it's not food so I guess he doesn't give a shit. I have a easy time believing he's "that" customer.
Unless his waist size got bigger (which isn't out of the question). Walmart will return damn near anything within reason, and an open pack of underwear is one of those reasons.

Poor coward Jack doesn't want to admit he got fatter during quarantine!
 
Wait until you get to Buffalo Wild Wings. I did the checkout calculator and couldn't believe my eyes. So I made an excel sheet and it was only off by 200 calories. This is what Tam-Tam and Jacky-Boy consider NORMAL!

Myfitness pal is acting up on my end - so the macros aren't working - but I did note the quantity of food in the Buffalo Wild Wings video. Here's the calorie count:

Ver archivo adjunto 1296248


My calculations of reading the nutrition PDF and making a shoddy excel sheet about it. If anybody wants to replicate it and show me any errors, please do. These nutrition sheet pdf's are obnoxious to read, and It's easy to misread something. The order for posterity :

30-Piece Buffalo Boneless Wings (Parmesan/Caribbean Jerk) - I split it up for nutrient sakes (15 parm/15 jerk)
3 Blue Cheese dressing
3 Ranch
1 Basket of Fries - that's a double order of fries according to the internet.

2 orders of 10-Piece Buffalo Bone-In Wings(Parmesan/Caribbean Jerk) - Split it up to 10 piece jerk and 10 piece Parmesan.
2 Blue Cheese Dressing - 5 dressing servings total for people counting
2 Celery Sticks - Too lazy to add them since I finished the Excel, but it's celery, FFS.


16.8 grams of Sodium split between the two.

Ver archivo adjunto 1296304
Just imagine if he eats like this nearly every day. It's no wonder he had 2 fucking strokes. This is nearly 4 days worth of food in one sitting. Most healthy people eat 2000 calories a day.
 
Just imagine if he eats like this nearly every day. It's no wonder he had 2 fucking strokes. This is nearly 4 days worth of food in one sitting. Most healthy people eat 2000 calories a day.
Check out his smoking pizza video. His fridge is literally stuffed with frozen pizza, hot pockets, frozen convenience food. I think that vid was made post stroke #2.

They are no doubt snacks/ lunches.

This dude clears 30k calories a week easily.
 
Check out his smoking pizza video. His fridge is literally stuffed with frozen pizza, hot pockets, frozen convenience food. I think that vid was made post stroke #2.

They are no doubt snacks/ lunches.

This dude clears 30k calories a week easily.
Interestingly, some googling and some back of the napkin math suggests that pretty darn close to 30k calories/week is needed to maintain a weight of 350 lbs with a slightly less than average activity (gotta figure you subtract something for his missing arm, right?).
 
Check out his smoking pizza video. His fridge is literally stuffed with frozen pizza, hot pockets, frozen convenience food. I think that vid was made post stroke #2.

They are no doubt snacks/ lunches.

This dude clears 30k calories a week easily.

Out of curiosity I put 'Salmonella Jack' into Google and look what comes up

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Poor coward Jack doesn't want to admit he got fatter during quarantine!

Everyone has gotten fatter during this quarantine. Gyms are closed, your normal way of life is on a standstill and your probably eating more crappy foods than healthy ones.

This is like the one acceptable and understandable time that Jack could say that he's put on weight. He of course though can't admit to it even when he has an acceptable excuse in front of him.
 
Fitting, because they're catering to fat fucks who want to eat a whole entree but also want to lie to themselves and pretend they're eating healthy.

Restaurants invented these because they figured out it's cheaper if instead of serving you a salad and then a meal, presenting it and all that shit, you just throw it all in a bowl and toss it and feed it to the fat pig who won't notice anyway.
 
Everyone has gotten fatter during this quarantine. Gyms are closed, your normal way of life is on a standstill and your probably eating more crappy foods than healthy ones.

This is like the one acceptable and understandable time that Jack could say that he's put on weight. He of course though can't admit to it even when he has an acceptable excuse in front of him.
It isn’t hard to eat less, you don’t need a gym to lose weight.
 
lol this one was full of gold

someone asked him why his bbq sauce has a jelly consistency. he says its because he doesn't add any water, vinegar, or lemon juice to it. "its more of a gourmet sauce than a bbq sauce...no one wants to buy the world's best gourmet sauce, they want bbq sauce."

jack says these hackers are from kosovo. "i've had many different countries try to attack me." he claims he has no idea how he was hacked and now he can't get rid of them. jack doesn't want to admit he tried buying followers and likes again

jack gets triggered because someone asks how a guy who runs a tech channel could get hacked twice. "explain to me how i can sit here and breathe and get hacked." he continues to blame the hacking on facebook security flaws

jack says he's realized that facebook was a big waste of his time. interesting thing to say considering that's literally all he does

he calls out facebook's new fact checking system for removing freedom of speech and being the work of leftists

someone comments about the new PC&LM podcast episode and jack, clearly knowing about the podcast, starts talking about his new social media marketing video before qucikly changing the subject

jack says he's got a "gaming sponsor" and is doing a video on the best food for gamers with jack jr

"i've had food addictions." you still do fatty

someone asks why he calls sugar poison when he still eats carbs and sugar. "do you want to come to my house and see my stuff?"

jack again gets triggered because someone asks how a guy with a tech channel could get hacked. "i'm not a tech guy. i don't claim to know anything about tech." thank you captain obvious

someone asks if there's anywhere jack wants to travel to. "i want to go to italy and i want to go to israel." el o fucking el. jack in israel: "so where can i sign up to napalm the palestinians?"
 
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