Why I Want to Fuck Ronald Reagan - The J. G. Ballard thread

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RONALD REAGAN AND THE CONCEPTUAL AUTO DISASTER.

Numerous studies have been conducted upon patients in terminal paresis (GPI), placing Reagan in a series of simulated auto crashes, e.g. multiple pileups, head-on collisions, motorcade attacks (fantasies of Presidential assassinations remained a continuing preoccupation, subject showing a marked polymorphic fixation on windshields and rear trunk assemblies). Powerful erotic fantasies of an anal-sadistic surrounded the image of the Presidential contender.

Ronald Reagan Subjects were required to construct the optimum auto disaster victim by placing a replica of Reagan’s head on the unretouched photographs of crash fatalities.

In 82% of cases massive rear-end collisions were selected with a preference for expressed fecal matter and rectal hemorrhages. Further tests were conducted to define the optimum model-year. These indicate that a three year model lapse with child victims provide the maximum audience excitation (confirmed by manufacturers’ studies of the optimum auto disaster). It is hoped to construct a rectal modulous of Reagan and the auto disaster of maximized audience arousal.
Motion picture studies of Ronald Reagan reveal characteristic patterns of facial tones and musculature associated with homoerotic behavior. The continuing tension of buccal sphincters and the recessive tongue role tally with earlier studies of facial rigidity (cf., Adolf Hitler, Nixon). Slow-motion cine films of campaign speeches exercised a marked erotic effect upon an audience of spastic children. Even with mature adults the verbal material was found to have a minimal effect, as demonstrated by substitution of an edited tape giving diametrically opposed opinions…
INCIDENCE OF ORGASMS IN FANTASIES OF SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH RONALD REAGAN. Patients were provided with assembly kit photographs of sexual partners during intercourse. In each case Reagan’s face was super imposed upon the original partner. Vaginal intercourse with “Reagan” proved uniformly disappointing, producing orgasm in 2% of subjects.

Axillary, buccal, navel, aural, and orbital modes produced proximal erections. The preferred mode of entry overwhelmingly proved to be the rectal. After a preliminary course in anatomy it was found that the caecum and transverse colon also provided excellent sites for excitation. In an extreme 12% of cases, the simulated anus of post-costolomy surgery generated spontaneous orgasm in 98% of penetrations. Multiple-track cine-films were constructed of “Reagan” in intercourse during (a) campaign speeches, (b) rear-end auto collisions with one and three year model changes, (c) with rear exhaust assemblies…

SEXUAL FANTASIES IN CONNECTION WITH RONALD REAGAN. The genitalia of the Presidential contender exercised a continuing fascination. A series of imaginary genitalia were constructed using (a) the mouth parts of Jacqueline Kennedy, (b) a Cadillac, (c) the assembly kid prepuce of President Johnson…In 89% of cases, the constructed genitalia generated a high incidence of self-induced orgasm. Tests indicate the masturbatory nature of the Presidential contender’s posture. Dolls consisting of plastic models of Reagan’s alternate genitalia were found to have a disturbing effect on deprived children.

REAGAN’S HAIRSTYLE. Studies were conducted on the marked fascination exercised by the Presidential contender’s hairstyle. 65% of male subjects made positive connections between the hairstyle and their own pubic hair. A series of optimum hairstyles were constructed.

THE CONCEPTUAL ROLE OF REAGAN. Fragments of Reagan’s cinetized postures were used in the construction of model psychodramas in which the Reagan-figure played the role of husband, doctor, insurance salesman, marriage counselor, etc.

The failure of these roles to express any meaning reveals the nonfunctional character of Reagan. Reagan’s success therefore indicates society’s periodic need to re-conceptualize its political leaders. Reagan thus appears as a series of posture concepts, basic equations which reformulate the roles of aggression and anality. Reagan’s personality. The profound anality of the Presidential contender may be expected to dominate the United States in the coming years. By contrast the late JFK remained the prototype of the oral subject, usually conceived in pre-pubertal terms. In further studies sadistic psychopaths were given the task of devising sex fantasies involving Reagan. Results confirm the probability of Presidential figures being perceived primarily in genital terms; the face of LB Johnson is clearly genital in significant appearance–the nasal prepuce, scrotal jaw, etc. Faces were seen as either circumcised (JFK, Khrushchev) or uncircumcised (LBJ, Adenauer). In assembly-kit tests Reagan’s face was uniformly perceived as a penile erection. Patients were encouraged to devise the optimum sex-death of Ronald Reagan.
–J. G. Ballard
 
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The Gipper would not have had sex with you or Ballard. Also, spaces in between paragraphs if you want anyone to read that.
 
I've read quite a bit of Ballard but I couldn't help myself and post one of the more notable entries in The Atrocity Exhibition. I also like High Rise and Crash is immortal.

I think now of the other crashes we visualized, absurd deaths of the wounded, maimed and distraught. I
think of the crashes of psychopaths, implausible accidents carried out with venom and self-disgust, vicious
multiple collisions contrived in stolen cars on evening freeways among tired office-workers. I think of the
absurd crashes of neurasthenic housewives returning from their VD clinics, hitting parked cars in suburban
high streets. I think of the crashes of excited schizophrenics colliding head-on into stalled laundry vans in
one-way streets; of manic-depressives crushed while making pointless U-turns on motorway access roads; of
luckless paranoids driving at full speed into the brick walls at the ends of known culs-de-sac; of sadistic
charge nurses decapitated in inverted crashes on complex interchanges; of lesbian supermarket manageresses
burning to death in the collapsed frames of their midget cars before the stoical eyes of middle-aged firemen;
of autistic children crushed in rear-end collisions, their eyes less wounded in death; of buses filled with
mental defectives drowning together stoically in roadside industrial canals.
 
Isn't the Reagan family super rich? *Checks google*

Net worth of about 13 million? Not super high, but I could still probably squeeze some cash out of him if he banged me....

Remember, it ain't gay if you're broke.
 
J.G. Ballard is hit or miss but when he hits, his work is pretty good. I had a collection of his short stories in audiobook format laying around somewhere and I remember being bored to tears with some of them, and quite fascinated with others.

Whenever I read his work my internal narrator is Pinhead.


Just seems fitting as Ballard has that bleak finality in his tone.
 
J.G. Ballard is hit or miss but when he hits, his work is pretty good. I had a collection of his short stories in audiobook format laying around somewhere and I remember being bored to tears with some of them, and quite fascinated with others.
>Listening to audiobooks
Imagine being this much of a brainlet.
 
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