OPTAVIA UNBOXING!!! 2/3/19

What are Al’s top three places to binge?

  • Burger King

    Votos: 157 42.9%
  • McDonald’s

    Votos: 184 50.3%
  • Taco Bell

    Votos: 137 37.4%
  • Cheesecake Factory

    Votos: 339 92.6%
  • Texas Roadhouse

    Votos: 109 29.8%
  • IHOP

    Votos: 46 12.6%
  • Red Lobster

    Votos: 12 3.3%
  • Panda Express

    Votos: 44 12.0%

  • Total de votantes
    366
Attached is the Optavia dining out guide. I skimmed it and it isn't incredibly interesting and mostly gives tips that anybody with half a brain would already know such as "eat lean, grilled meat" and "avoid fried foods" - aka plenty of wiggle room for Amber to play with. It also has suggestions of what to get on the menu of specific restaurants, including some of her favorites.

Making her own meal once per day will quickly change to "going out, but sticking with my eating out guide!" which will pretty easily morph into orange chicken and McDonald's.
Gorls, I was perusing this guide and one of the recurring items was to avoid rice and pasta. This is going to be spectacular.

ETA: This shit is straight up low carb. This bitch has been avoiding low carb for years. This is astounding. You can tell she did fuck all in terms of independent research. I guarantee that her "coach" or whoever reached out to her sent her all kinds of "testimonials" and she never bothered looking elsewhere for any opposition research. If she had, it's lidurrrallly some of the first stuff that comes up in a Google search.
 
Última edición:
Pretty sure Amber's extensive "research" of Optavia consisted of her drooling over names like Decadent Double Chocolate Brownie and Dark Chocolate Covered Cherry Shake. Wouldn't surprise me if she bought into this scheme because the food sounded tasty to her.

Any bets on when she'll upload an Octavia mukbang where she eats 2 weeks worth of chocolate bars in one sitting?
 
Hold up a minute, if this is a true pyramid scheme then the suckers are supposed to recruit more suckers. How does this work in this case? Does every customer just become a coach who needs to peddle this shit to earn back the money they already sunk? Did Amberlynn buy her inventory directly from her upline?

I actually poked around my net friend list and one of my friends used this diet <like they did it well over a year ago, so things may have changed.> The 'Coach' as far as I can tell isn't necessarily who ever got you into the scheme. There is a dedicated site etc for users. I think alot of what they are shilling is the encouragement and apparently there is some actual professionals involved in all of that. My friend even flat out told me from the food/actual diet aspect, it's a horrible waste. It's the fact you have a good support network that made them stick with it. They did lose about 60 pounds on it and largely contribute that to the support network. I can understand that, but Hamber won't even use that part of it, and she has no chance of shilling this to other people as a life coach of any kind. She's literally dying from overconsumption on an hourly basis. She'll never market this crap.
 
This is the first Amber video I honestly thought i couldn’t get through. It just started sounding like word salad at a certain point. Chocolate peanut butter crisp cookie shake penne zesty chicken shake decadent brownie with coconut sugar from the Philipines berry granola golden pancake potatoes. Also she sounds especially stupid lately.
I'm starting to think Amber is somehow even more idiotic than she is obese.
 
There's potentially so much great entertainment on the horizon. Amber's really doubling down on how amazeen Optavia is.

That, combined with her self pro-claimed hours and hours of research, telling everyone else that they're wrong (stupid) and she's right (smart, ha!), blocking followers on Twitter, telling us she's taking a break from social media/reading comments (sure, Jan), "threatening" to take her weight loss journey OFF of YouTube (bish, you'd be broke) and just being her snarky, cunty self in general about this whole scam is going to lead to some great (for Amber) content in the very near future when she fails this diet miserably and it's ayyg on her moon face. - sorry for the run on sentence, am exceptional today.

The excuse(s) she'll come up with - the possibilities are endless - so it's hard to narrow down just one. Without a doubt the blame will be cast on anybody or anything but herself, duh. Probably some sob story about how her "health coach" lied to her or really let her down (cue invisible tears).
But, like I said, the possibilities are endless so don't quote me on that, gorls.
 
Many of those bars only have 11grams of protein and still have 6g of added sugar (http://www.optavia.com/Products/optavia-products/optimalweight/essential/bars/prd~77895.jsp) and a box of 7 bars is $20.95 holy shit.

If she wasn't so inept at reading labels and wanted to use bars as meal replacements, she could (and should) be buying ones with 20+g of protein for less than 200 calories and a lower added sugar count. Even the cheaper Pure Protein brand has bars for 180 calories that have 21g of protein and only 3g added sugar, and you can get a box of 18 for around $17.

People drag AL for not needing protein bars because she doesn't workout, but I actually think she COULD use them as a diet tool for some quick protein. Yeah it's better if she eats lean proteins she makes herself like eggs, chicken breast, and fish, but protein is what is going to keep her full, and the macro split on those Optavia bars are a mess. It's literally insane how much they are charging. She's going to be starving and cave within 2 days.
 
So from my understanding of this diet it is marked as a somewhat Keto diet. However none of it is far just carbs and you need to be below 20g of carbs to maintatain ketosis

So in other words this diet is a massive scam this totals more than 1000 calories a day easily . This video Amber was manic as fuck and it was exceptional as f too
 
There is a nutritionist on their website people can talk to. Certified?
It saves money so now she does not have to go see a nutritionist.
Amber is fat.

Nutritionists are not highly regulated and don’t need certification. They only need to have studied nutrition.

To be a dietitian, you need to be a board-certified person who studied nutrition.

Optavia could very well have a nutritionist on staff but it doesn’t mean much.
 
This is the level of the person we’re dealing with: she doesn’t like wild strawberry shakes, so she plans eat those when she wakes up because she’s not hungry then. ???

That makes perfect sense to Amber-does it to anybody else? Most of us would just skip eating something we don’t like, especially when we aren’t hungry. But like with weightwatchers and extra points, she thinks skipping food/fueling is impossible.

She also often mentions how these products contain probiotics. I haven’t read the ingredient list so I don’t know if they do or not. But I’m curious if Amber has any clue what probiotics do and are for? I’m guessing that wasn’t part of her research. It sounds like a good thing, so she mentions it.

I can see why it’d be worth it to her to have most of the decision making out of her hands. Yeah, it’d be cheaper to go to the store and buy some protein bars and packaged crap yourself. But she’ll never be able to plan how much to buy, how to get the right amount of nutrients, how to get to a normal daily calorie. She hasn’t eaten normally in her entire life, she has no idea what it looks like.

Learning would take real work, and she actually doesn’t want to learn. It’s a lot easier to have a box sent to your house and be told what to eat at what time. And for really determined people, who have 20 lbs to lose, it probably works.

Unfortunately, Amber isn’t a normie trying to get back to pre-baby weight. She is going to get hungry and she can’t tolerate hunger. It triggers all those feelings of abandonment and lack of care she felt as a child. And since the psychological motivations causing her overeating aren’t being addressed, there is no chance this will work.

Didn’t she say she already ate one of the bars? Is she starting the plan now or did she just taste one? She wasn’t clear.
 
As we are all appalled that Amber spends, by her own admission, $1000 a month on food, I genuinely think she spends more than that just for her own food. That's approximately $33 per day. Given how often she eats out or gets carryout, she blows far more than that each day. A typical Cheesecake Factory visit includes orange chicken at $16.95, a soda at $3, and a slice of cheesecake at $6.95. That's $26.90 for one meal. Imagine similar totals at the various restaurants and buffets she frequents, and double the total for Becky, and then add tax and a tip and she's eaten her $33 allotment in one sitting.

On days where they simply eat fast food, the totals still come in very high. Amberlynn packs away 20 piece nuggets as snacks, which is $5 minimum. Those wraps she talks about can go as high as $7. Fries and sodas add up, and I can easily see her eating a hamburger of some description, fries, nuggets, soda and maybe a cookie or pie as dessert and have a total near $20 per visit. Delivery pizza can run around $15 per pizza with delivery charges and tips, unless she uses deals or has Becky go pick them up. She can devour a Taco Bell party pack on her own and those run around $12-15.

Then factor in all the Walmart meals and snacks and it's clear she easily eats more than $33 in food every single day and spends more than that because much of the food and snacks she purchases to prepare and consume at home get trashed when she fails to eat them when the siren song of Burger King calls and it goes bad. If this plan really is only $400 a month plus what she must purchase for her lean and green meal, she's saving far more than she admits. Now she just needs to stick to it and make it work for her, which means she will be ordering Becky out to get fast food by Wednesday, at the latest.

On another note, how did she not notice that her hair is so filthy that an entire hank of it is standing up due to sheer grease? She eye fucks herself more than any other YouTuber we discuss here (though I think Kai or Chantal may come close). How the fuck did she not realize that her hair looked this bad? She's either so fucking manic she isn't noticing such details or she's absolutely given up.

This hasn't been a slow descent, either. In under two years she went from doing make-up daily, clean and ironed hair, clean clothes, and sometimes even nails got done to what she is now. She's now filthy, seldom bothers with cosmetics, hair a biohazard and visibly thinning, grimy nails. Her clothes are barely holding on, are often stained. During each era, she looks so awful but when compared to earlier eras she's an immaculate beauty queen. How much worse will she look a year from now if she doesn't drop dead first?
 
As we are all appalled that Amber spends, by her own admission, $1000 a month on food, I genuinely think she spends more than that just for her own food. That's approximately $33 per day. Given how often she eats out or gets carryout, she blows far more than that each day. A typical Cheesecake Factory visit includes orange chicken at $16.95, a soda at $3, and a slice of cheesecake at $6.95. That's $26.90 for one meal. Imagine similar totals at the various restaurants and buffets she frequents, and double the total for Becky, and then add tax and a tip and she's eaten her $33 allotment in one sitting.

On days where they simply eat fast food, the totals still come in very high. Amberlynn packs away 20 piece nuggets as snacks, which is $5 minimum. Those wraps she talks about can go as high as $7. Fries and sodas add up, and I can easily see her eating a hamburger of some description, fries, nuggets, soda and maybe a cookie or pie as dessert and have a total near $20 per visit. Delivery pizza can run around $15 per pizza with delivery charges and tips, unless she uses deals or has Becky go pick them up. She can devour a Taco Bell party pack on her own and those run around $12-15.

Then factor in all the Walmart meals and snacks and it's clear she easily eats more than $33 in food every single day and spends more than that because much of the food and snacks she purchases to prepare and consume at home get trashed when she fails to eat them when the siren song of Burger King calls and it goes bad. If this plan really is only $400 a month plus what she must purchase for her lean and green meal, she's saving far more than she admits. Now she just needs to stick to it and make it work for her, which means she will be ordering Becky out to get fast food by Wednesday, at the latest.

On another note, how did she not notice that her hair is so filthy that an entire hank of it is standing up due to sheer grease? She eye fucks herself more than any other YouTuber we discuss here (though I think Kai or Chantal may come close). How the fuck did she not realize that her hair looked this bad? She's either so fucking manic she isn't noticing such details or she's absolutely given up.

This hasn't been a slow descent, either. In under two years she went from doing make-up daily, clean and ironed hair, clean clothes, and sometimes even nails got done to what she is now. She's now filthy, seldom bothers with cosmetics, hair a biohazard and visibly thinning, grimy nails. Her clothes are barely holding on, are often stained. During each era, she looks so awful but when compared to earlier eras she's an immaculate beauty queen. How much worse will she look a year from now if she doesn't drop dead first?
Honestly, it does boggle the mind that a person who isn't supporting a family of at least 10 could spend that much in food alone. I'm sure everyone of us here has what we buy week to week pretty down pat and only really deviate for special occasions or holidays.
The fact that she doesn't see that as odd, or sees purchasing "feelings" at $400 per month a pop in addition to the "lean and green" shit she'll have to buy as a better deal somehow just points to her lack of understanding of real life in general. She's in a manic phase. Expect a crash any day now.
 
I'm starting to think Amber is somehow even more idiotic than she is obese.
Maybe it's due to the fact that her brain isn't getting enough oxygen anymore. She looks terribly out of breath most of the video which is pretty dark.

There are so many things that could kill her any second, yet all she can afford to do is getting excited about a sketchy diet plan designed for people who are up to 20 kg overweight
 
That makes perfect sense to Amber-does it to anybody else? Most of us would just skip eating something we don’t like, especially when we aren’t hungry. But like with weightwatchers and extra points, she thinks skipping food/fueling is impossible.
Optavia actually stresses that you should not skip any "fueling":
https://answers.optavia.com/help/optimal-weight-5-1-plan-can-i-skip-fuelings
It is extremely important that you get in all of your Fuelings and the full portions of your lean and green meal(s) each day. Each Fueling is scientifically formulated with the right balance of carbohydrates, protein and fat which helps promote a gentle, but efficient fat burning state on the Optimal Weight 5 & 1 Plan.​

Here's about the probiotics:

Each Fueling also contains high-quality protein which helps retain lean muscle mass and a patented probiotic, GanedenBC30®, which helps support digestion. Skipping a Fueling may cause you to miss out on key nutrients, including your daily vitamins and minerals, which are essential to your health and success on the program. It will not help to increase your weight loss; in fact, it may have the opposite effect!​

Again, they stress not skipping any of their crap food. Double up if you must!

If you have to decide between "skipping" a meal or "doubling up" to ensure you get in all of your Fuelings and lean and green meal(s) within a 24-hour period, it is better to double up (eat two Fuelings at the same time) than to miss the nutrition provided by one of the Fuelings.
Great advice for Amber.
 
Pretty sure Amber's extensive "research" of Optavia consisted of her drooling over names like Decadent Double Chocolate Brownie and Dark Chocolate Covered Cherry Shake. Wouldn't surprise me if she bought into this scheme because the food sounded tasty to her.

Any bets on when she'll upload an Octavia mukbang where she eats 2 weeks worth of chocolate bars in one sitting?

Gorl did so much research she forgot how to pronounce the very program she researched!!!
 
I just watched the optavia video on the website. So amber is supposed to eat 5 of those small "fuelings" a day which is all boxed granola bars, cookies and crackers then one meal with actual meat and a veggie? Why is the entire fuelings list sweets and soups? she must have seen the list and chose it because the entire list is sweet food and onionn sticks. I doubt a 600 lb woman with a food addiction will put up with this restriction. Im confused how this is learning healthy eating habits plus everything looks disgusting.
 
Part of me hopes she sticks with this for comedy value, because her unboxing video already has 50k views in under 24 hours. The highest viewed video of all time on YouTube, when you search Optavia and sort by views, only has 82k. Whether the company likes it or not, she really is going to be the spokesperson for their company - it's going to be her massive face that pops up first when you do a YouTube search looking for more info. I wonder how long it'll take before their social media manager notices.
 
Part of me hopes she sticks with this for comedy value, because her unboxing video already has 50k views in under 24 hours. The highest viewed video of all time on YouTube, when you search Optavia and sort by views, only has 82k. Whether the company likes it or not, she really is going to be the spokesperson for their company - it's going to be her massive face that pops up first when you do a YouTube search looking for more info. I wonder how long it'll take before their social media manager notices.

wow- although I think alot know this would be a huge money maker for her coach and team. I guess big profits and advertising optavia in general... they should just secretly pay for her to get weightloss surgery and claim all of her weight loss was through the program. Then she could be their spokesperson and model instead of using those fake people in the eating out guide... what better person to model in a weight loss eating out guide then AL, not those unhealthy skinny people who eat salads and grilled chicken
 
Attached is the Optavia dining out guide. I skimmed it and it isn't incredibly interesting and mostly gives tips that anybody with half a brain would already know such as "eat lean, grilled meat" and "avoid fried foods" - aka plenty of wiggle room for Amber to play with. It also has suggestions of what to get on the menu of specific restaurants, including some of her favorites.

Making her own meal once per day will quickly change to "going out, but sticking with my eating out guide!" which will pretty easily morph into orange chicken and McDonald's.

This is great, Amber is barely literate obviously so 84 pages of widely spaced out suggestions will take twice as long to read as it should at least and she'll retain less than 10% of it I bet unless she reads it more than once and lmao, sure she'll be doing this in three days still and remember to refresh herself on the tips before the first all you can eat Chinese buffet trip to make up for lost caloric intake over recent time!

Also: "AVOID - Large and jumbo meal options." + PAGE 24: "AVOID - Any meats that are breaded, like General Tso's Chicken, Sweet and Sour Chicken, and Crab Rangoon." Why, that includes orange chicken.

Binge Monster: :twisted:
 
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