OPTAVIA UNBOXING!!! 2/3/19

[Ann Berlin]

Does she actually read all the books she hoards? I actually wouldn't be surprised if she did, her days consist of a whole lot of bedbound time and it's not like she picks up War and Peace.

 

[ThisWillBeFun]

The boxes will taste better than that stuff.
As she gushed over each tasteless granola bar & how she gets to eat so many times a day, all I remember is Chantal & her Hello Fresh delivery. A big box full of food that was supposed to last 3 days. Dinner for 4 people for 3 days. She ate it all in one night.

Amber will open every box & try every flavor. The ones she likes will be gone in an instant & the rest left to rot. Not sure what else she's planning on eating for the last 3 weeks of the month.

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

Seems like half that crap she showed had the words chocolate in them. I've never seen someone so excited about eating complete trash.
Is it so hard to eat a banana with some yogurt like a normal white female?

 

[Recent Lurker]

With a $1,000 she can afford to have someone come in every Sunday and meal prep all her meals for the week, the food expense and STILL have a little something for health insurance.

 

[kill me now]

Our gorl got a new jornal to write about eating her "feelings." Great, boo boo
It was so cringey to watch, sounded like a mix between your typical MLM shill and a desperate idiot doubling down on their bad decision.
I hope Optivia likes their new spokeswoman

She can become their first 600lbs “health coach”

 

[JambledUpWords]

With a $1,000 she can afford to have someone come in every Sunday and meal prep all her meals for the week, the food expense and STILL have a little something for health insurance.

That would be a smart thing to do, but Big Al doesn’t have enough foresight to do that.

 

[manicpixiebasementdweller]

She bought a box of candy bars and cookies. This is what $400 gets you? I think the Girl Scouts are selling cookies right now; for once she would’ve saved money by going to Wommart.

 

[497]

She's going to find some of those bars taste better than others, so she'll eat all the tasty ones first, leaving her with only the most tasteless stuff for the long haul.

have to admit that is cheap on optavia's part. people can't even pick and choose what bars they want, they just send them the box of random stuff whether they like it or not.

 

[Big Al's Crusty Sty]

Dear Lord she looks bad!! It looks like the package came & Becky woke her up & rolled her out of bed, she didn’t brush her hair, just piled it in a bun & put some dangly earrings in. She looks like she smells like stale drool.

If she were being real with herself the moment she saw the size of the box & realized that besides her small dinners that, that box represented EVERYTHING she was allowed to eat for a month she would’ve had a panic attack!!!

 

[Long time lurker]

how long these boxes just keep coming before she finally cancels. Those bark boxes need company

I know that Amber keeps repeating the story of how she got 9 of the same toy because she forgot to cancel the subscription, but have we ever seen all of the 9 toys together?

The beauty of social media is that the audience only sees what the person wants to show them. Granted, Amber is inept and some of real life leaks into her social media, but she too only shows parts that will, in her mind, make her look good.
Many of those subscription boxes offer a free trial.

she's "not a cinnamon person, a raison person OR an oat person".

Funny she would say that...She did videos before showing herself cooking instant oats, and there were at least 2 packages of oats in the cupboard.

I felt mildly autistic this morning so I decided to look up how much if would cost to buy items that match as close to her feelings as I can.

Thank you. I was tempted to do the same, but didn't want to watch the video.

Booklet has a section called "transform with habits of healthy sleep"

Another interesting point. A few videos ago Amber said that she was adjusting her sleeping schedule - going to bed earlier and waking up earlier, but in a more recent video she mentioned going back to her old habits.

Has she ever actually written anything of value

The rest of the words in your post aren't necessary. No, she hasn't.

if it isn't just her trying out this crap, will be her saying it just "doesn't work for me" and forgetting all about it.

Unless she goes dark, I think she'll pretend to stick to this diet for a video or two, stop talking about it and start ignoring questions, go dark and then (in a month or so) admit it "doesn't work for her".

Does she actually read all the books she hoards?

I don't think so. At some point she took pleasure in showing all the books she was buying, but I suspect she'd put bookmarks at random places to pretend she was reading them.

If she were being real with herself the moment she saw the size of the box & realized that besides her small dinners that, that box represented EVERYTHING she was allowed to eat for a month she would’ve had a panic attack!!!

I mentioned this a long time ago, so I'm going to repeat myself. Early in life most people learn the correlation between numbers and volume/weight of the thing being counted (for example, most people have a good idea what a pound of something feels like).
Amber seems to lack the ability to correlate numbers to anything. Say someone gave her the choice between 1 apple or 8 grapes. Chances are she'd choose the grapes because 8 > 1.

Another thing I've said a few times already is that Amber has no notion of future. When she saw what was inside that box she didn't think "wait. this has to last a whole month?". Her thought process was probably "wow! look how much I got to eat."

 

[Haesindang Park]

Al estimates spending $1,000 per month on food

I think this needs no further explanation about her.

 

[meangorl666]

I have some short and to the point questions about this insufferable video.

Who gets out of breath from talking...........slowly?
Why is the chair creaking every single time she grabs something from the box?
The lighting is the problem? Really?
Powdered potatoes?
She has a savory "tooth" as well as a sweet tooth? Why does she eat nothing but processed garbage then?
Does she even know what all the macro break down on the boxes means?
I thought she knew how to lose weight? Why is she excited to learn from books if she knows it all?
She mentions "your gorl isnt healthy". What happened to the singing doctor saying she is "healthy but obese"?
Does this program have any evidence it works for FOOD ADDICTS; cause hammy always likes to tell everyone she is an addict.

I will answer my own questions because its the same answer for all the questions;

Its Amber.

 

[Ann Berlin]

Hold up a minute, if this is a true pyramid scheme then the suckers are supposed to recruit more suckers. How does this work in this case? Does every customer just become a coach who needs to peddle this shit to earn back the money they already sunk? Did Amberlynn buy her inventory directly from her upline?

 

[Concerned Vagino-American]

Hold up a minute, if this is a true pyramid scheme then the suckers are supposed to recruit more suckers. How does this work in this case? Does every customer just become a coach who needs to peddle this shit to earn back the money they already sunk? Did Amberlynn buy her inventory directly from her upline?

Perhaps she'll start marketing it to her viewers. It'll be entertaining to see her inevitable weight gain while simultaneously trying to sell this shit.

 

[Harkonnendometriosis]

But she did research! She knows this will work!

I hope one day we get access to the vast cosmic library from which Amber pulls her "research".

 

[JambledUpWords]

Perhaps she'll start marketing it to her viewers. It'll be entertaining to see her inevitable weight gain while simultaneously trying to sell this shit.

Al is probably one of the worst possible people to try and sponsor things. She has a magical way of repelling people from even having the same phone case as her. She’s probably single-handedly dissuaded people from going to the Cheesecake Factory too.

 

[byanyothername]

this is a genuinely hilarious saga

 

[Rocketleaguer]

Jesus Christ, her only adjective seems to be 'cute' and it drives me crazy.

 

[HamFan]

So I don't think you need to be the prophet Nostradamus to predict the next video, if it isn't just her trying out this crap, will be her saying it just "doesn't work for me" and forgetting all about it.

She's damn near manic in this video, nearly every item she loves it, everything looks and sounds SOOO GOOD. She thinks she's done it, she's finally found the magic pill she always wanted that will let her stuff her face with cookies and cheetos all day long and magically lose weight doing it.

The hard crash into reality when she takes the first bite is gonna bring that down hard. She'll quickly grab another fueling, and then another, and another because maybe one of those damn things tastes like she imagines it right? And then, the binge monster takes hold. She'll crave real food, the salty, fatty, disgusting garbage she fills herself with every day...

Amber... Amber never changes.

I'm expecting an "What I eat in a day on Optavia" video. It will show her "being good." She'll have a couple of the allowed snacks, cheese sticks and pickles. Her "lean and green" will be a salad kit with a pre-cooked grilled chicken strips. She'll barely fake how much she loves it and how great it's going. Then nothing for a few days.

Then she'll have a torrid or dollar tree or wommart haul.

Then she might get bugged that people have noticed that she hasn't acknowledged Optavia for awhile and do half-assed video explaining that she's still on it but have made several changes because "she knows what works for her."

I expect all or some of this before she drops it entirely.

 

[TacoSoup]

Is it just me or does she look older in this video? Her hairline seems further back, those earrings do her no justice and that weird mauve muumuu.