OPTAVIA UNBOXING!!! 2/3/19

[raritycunt]

Ah just think how funny it’ll be in a month or two when she’s completely given up on yet another diet and she’s trying to convince us of her NEXT stupid scheme. This video will not age well.

 

[London Raine]

I didn't see one healthy item. She'll eat a box of cheetos, bars, etc., when the binge monster shows up. Then what?

 

[Erica]

It’s terrible MLM trash food, but she could lose weight on it. Where she will fail is how the food is meant to be rationed out. I expect she will probably eat way more than she is meant to per day and then end up having to go grocery shopping anyway, which would defeat the purpose of any diet plan like this.

We will see, I suppose.

 

[peengu]

I felt mildly autistic this morning so I decided to look up how much if would cost to buy items that match as close to her feelings as I can. Bear in mind, this is in britbong currency:

Spoiler: Autism under cut

There are 7 types of bars, some of which come in packs of four, others individually wrapped, but let's say you want at least 7 of each, then your total is £26.50- ish. This could go down significantly if you just bought bars in multipacks.

Pancakes- cheapest I found were £0.42 for 6, although they were raisin and honey. They'll likely go off before you eat them all, anyway, so rebuying at a later date is inevitable. 7 in a pack, so while it's a big waste I need another pack for £0.84.

The shakes are a good one. I went for two tubs of Slimfast at £5.50 each, chocolate and strawberry. I forgot about the cherry and chia ones, but I thought, why not, let's add a banana Nesquick in there for £2.10. That's £13.10 total. I also think it's universal for everyone to have some sort of protein powder floating around the house, so chuck that in as a freebie.

Smash is £1. But why not get a second box anyway just in case. £2.

Pastas and noodles soups are four a pack again, so for 8 of each we're looking at a good round £5.

The sticks and biscuit shit is a bit tougher, but I figured since we're putting the effort in to buy this ourselves, we can probably manage to portion it appropriately. There weren't any direct equivalents so I just got what was closest: packets of mini cheddars and some onion crackers. You get 12 packets of cheddars for £3, and they're only 128kcals each. Bargain! I then found some crackers that only have 22kcals each. I figured you could probably do 3 of them for a fueling, so you'd want 2 packs. Total of £5.20.

Lastly is the chocolate brownie and the chocolate chip cookies. Now, I'm not sure if the Optavia items are pre-made or theu have to be mixed, so I decided to go for the middle man and just buy the most expensive item I could with chocolate brownie and chocolate chip cookie. At a staggering £4.75 per 100g, two bars won out for the brownie. One had chia seeds in, the other had pink Himalayan salt. Perfect for detoxing. 7 of them at £1.90 a pop, is £13.30. For the cookie I chose Musclemax cookies and cream. £3.64 for 100g and £2 a bar: £14. That's a total between the two of £27.30.

Cheerios and almond tard cum, £2.65 for cereal, way more than enough considering the 30g serving size, and £2.50 for organic almond condiment.

That totals to £85.09.

We done knew she'd been ripped off, but she's been ripped off hard.

 

[MissyMissy]

see y'all at the Optavia mukbang

 

[Aldora]

Just what Amber needs, more journals.

People like Amber don't want to lose weight, but they LOVE to make plans about losing weight: buying a new journal, gotta get some new pens and pencils at the same time too, so much fun planning and drawing everything out!

Either Amber will eat some of this junk and continue to eat her normal calorie intake, or she will eat all of it in a week, because Amber doesn't eat because she is hungry or bored, she eats because she wants to feel full, and not just normal full, the really stuffed stomach full, and I don't see how any of this Optavia stuff will satisfy her.

 

[Fatguypewdiepie]

At 2:06, you can hear her chair suffering.

It's too bad you can't hear my suffering through out the whole video

Petition to add "dominoes" to the poll. She made a dominoes delivery guy deliver her ranch salad during snowstorm recently iirc

 

[Ailee]

I know it cost $400 for her hoard, but putting it into perspective, those boxes of the 7 bars sell for $20.95 on the Optavia website ... that's $21 for 7 cardboard tasting granola bars? what the actual fuck, could she not just go to Walmart and buy a $4 box of 12 granola bars? what an absolute waste of money. She's kidding herself if she thinks she'll only eat one at a time too, we all know the whole box will be eaten as one "fueling"

 

[FitBitch]

The way she reads the nutrition facts is uuuuugh!
"3 fat, 1 saturated fat, 0 trans fat 350 sodium" No grams of fat, just three whole fat which is less that four so you know it hulthy booboo.

 

[Captain Ahab]

There’s no way this junk is worth anywhere near what she paid for it.

 

[Maggots on a Train v2]

Another shot of the amazeeen hair Big Al is sporting in tonight's video. Who needs gel when your hair is so greasy it literally can stand up on it's own?
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Our gorl is a fashion icon who definitely showers DAILY.

ETA: Jfc Amber is manic af and her OTT facial expressions as she over-excitedly unboxed this garbage are truly something to behold.
>"Oh my god, LOOK AT THIS!! I LOVE this because I like to learn about stuff!" exclaims the girl who had to pester Zachary for basic editing advice because she couldn't be bothered to look at a manual or use Google.
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And the unboxing of the food was exceptional. "Cookies? I LOVE cookies!".
After all the oohing and ahhing over the boxes of peanut butter and chocolate flavored bars, her hesitation was pretty amusing at the raisin-oat-cinnamon ones because she's "not a cinnamon person, a raison person OR an oat person".
Why order an expensive box of bars when you dislike all the main ingredients? But then again, why would you eat ayyygs if you are convinced you're allergic to them. Making sense of Amber is a fool's errand, I suppose.

But these might be my favorite faces of all:

Spoiler: When reality hits

When it finally dawns on you that you have actually committed yourself to eating this nonsense for the next year.Ver archivo adjunto 656737 Ver archivo adjunto 656736

This time next month.

 

[SalamanderPrey]

New here but who cares.

Is excited for chocolate mint cookie crisp because she loves mint
The packaging of the dark chocolate covered cherry shake is so cute
Is excited for her savory tooth
The creamy double peanut butter crisp bar had better be good (or else) because she got two of them
Raisin oat cinnamon crisp is the only one she is unsure of which coincidentally is the only one without chocolate in its name
Is very happy about the fact that the food items she has to make herself has instructions "Ye-yah"
"Random factoid": eating 5 feelings a day supposedly gives her all the vitamins she needs each day and therefore will be feeling good
Booklet has a section called "transform with habits of healthy sleep"
Pumped for honey mustard & onion sticks
The caramel delight crisp bar is everybody's favorite so she's excited
The decadent double chocolate brownie is featured in what 'I ate today videos' of other Optavia fatties
She loves cookies
She loves peanut butter with chocolate
Everyone who has talked about the savory chip stuff says the bag is really full and fills them up
Not a fan of shakes so she will eat them when she first wakes up because she is never hungry when she wakes up...?
The workbook is everything
Dr. A's habits of health - "I would hate to get all of this and be like okay where's the science behind it--even though I've done so much research I have been obsessed obsessed, like that's all I do lately is just look up stuff about this like crazy.
She has gotten research with people's mouths
She "likes to learn about stuff"
Not everyone can just lose weight on their own. It's a fact

There is a nutritionist on their website people can talk to. Certified?
It saves money so now she does not have to go see a nutritionist.
Amber is fat.

 

[PorkchopSandwiches]

Today in Amber Virtue Signals She Loves Water
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Great screen cap. I mentioned this earlier in the thread and it was a signal to the audience because it was just shoehorned into the video.

Look HAYDERS I drink water and if water = healthy then our gorl is healthy right? If our gorl is healthy, then does boo boo really need to lose weight at all?

 

[Masta]

I’m wondering how much weight she gained while waiting on this “life-changing” box to come in. Because her face looks fatter.

[EDIT] she mentioned spending more on groceries than on this program. I dunno about y’all, but I don’t know anyone—rich or poor—that comes close to dropping that much on a grocery run...unless she counts fast-food and eating out

I notice this too, there is little room between her double chin and her neck now, and she is just overall swollen from water retention.
She must be binging like crazy, because we do know how she is before she does start a new diet, she needs that last hoorah.
Her notion is so foolish, just because you do not have the octivia kit now, does not mean you cannot start implementing healthy changes now.
She must be at least 570, by now, and if this diet does fail, and causes her to binge, then it will only bring her an inch ever so closer to 600.

I cannot wait until her day 1 starting weight to see how much she has packed on.

 

[AbraCadaver]

New here but who cares.

Is excited for chocolate mint cookie crisp because she loves mint
The packaging of the dark chocolate covered cherry shake is so cute
Is excited for her savory tooth
The creamy double peanut butter crisp bar had better be good (or else) because she got two of them
Raisin oat cinnamon crisp is the only one she is unsure of which coincidentally is the only one without chocolate in its name
Is very happy about the fact that the food items she has to make herself has instructions "Ye-yah"
"Random factoid": eating 5 feelings a day supposedly gives her all the vitamins she needs each day and therefore will be feeling good
Booklet has a section called "transform with habits of healthy sleep"
Pumped for honey mustard & onion sticks
The caramel delight crisp bar is everybody's favorite so she's excited
The decadent double chocolate brownie is featured in what 'I ate today videos' of other Optavia fatties
She loves cookies
She loves peanut butter with chocolate
Everyone who has talked about the savory chip stuff says the bag is really full and fills them up
Not a fan of shakes so she will eat them when she first wakes up because she is never hungry when she wakes up...?
The workbook is everything
Dr. A's habits of health - "I would hate to get all of this and be like okay where's the science behind it--even though I've done so much research I have been obsessed obsessed, like that's all I do lately is just look up stuff about this like crazy.
She has gotten research with people's mouths
She "likes to learn about stuff"
Not everyone can just lose weight on their own. It's a fact

There is a nutritionist on their website people can talk to. Certified?
It saves money so now she does not have to go see a nutritionist.
Amber is fat.

All of this shit sounds like a pile of junk food. I can see why she loves it but I can’t imagine a normal person having to eat it five meals a day, even if it did taste acceptable.

 

[Elbe]

Literally the first thing you see when Googlin 'Optavia reviews'

 

[Ann Berlin]

Our gorl got a new jornal to write about eating her "feelings." Great, boo boo
It was so cringey to watch, sounded like a mix between your typical MLM shill and a desperate idiot doubling down on their bad decision.
I hope Optivia likes their new spokeswoman

 

[Captain Ahab]

Has she ever actually written anything of value in her journals, other than some generic motivational bullshit?

 

[Maggots on a Train v2]

All of this shit sounds like a pile of junk food. I can see why she loves it but I can’t imagine a normal person having to eat it five meals a day, even if it did taste acceptable.

I'm pretty sure this is how people get and stay grotesquely obese in the first place, grazing on novelty junk foods, and being hooked on processed foods that have more packaging than clamshelled electronics.

 

[497]

10:14 - she adds a shot of her drinking water from a Starbucks cup

Look ya gorl is healthy she is drinking water

she's trying to act cool and smug after having just said she spends over a $1000 a month on food and eating out. Plus add what Becky's food bill is. Like doesn't everyone spend $1000-$2000 on food every month...sips her water like it's a normal everyday thing. Maybe a family of 4-6 which AL eats enough for.

She could of hired a personal chef food delivery at this point so it's not really all that impressive when she spends $400 on bars or McDs. Maybe even throw in a personal trainer or physical therapist for the super obese.

I think she went over the 570-580lbs mark while eating whatever she wanted waiting for this program.

She said she hopes the little bags of cheetos fill her up. Compared to the family size bags she eats now? What is she thinking?