Money Twitter 10/8 - Why Chris won't get a job

[Sinner's Sandwich]

Chris already has a fulltime job as a lolcow

 

[Sperglord Dante]

*I don't want to get a job, stop telling me to get one.


ftfy.


Multiple grocery outlets will purposely hire slow in the minds for a tax break, so yes they can very easily do something as simple as bag groceries, fetch carts, mop floors, etc. There's jobs out there for people like Chris, he's just lazy and got accustomed to a certain lifestyle.

Chris seems pretty bottom of the barrel even by special needs hiring standards. He's clumsier, creepier and even less socially competent that the downie boys I occasionally see working on Mickey D's. The downie boys are also likely to not have a criminal record.

 

[Alpha Centauri]

I personally know a handful of intellectually disabled people who are lower or about as functioning as Chris and they all either have jobs or want to get them. Even the mentally disabled have a sense of belonging and tend to have some awareness of their low status in society - When you know you don't have the faculties to attain a higher education then getting stable employment is a big achievement and they recognize it as such. They feel like gaining employment and being self sufficient validates their existence to themselves.

Chris is simultaneously disabled and incredibly arrogant at the same time. Even if he was neurologically perfectly ordinary his personality would be toxic.

----

There are actually ways for Chris to pass background checks. If he could get over his need to expose his most intimate secrets to everybody he meets then he could simply change his legal name to something totally generic and unassuming and only refer to himself as that when in employment or recruitment. And obviously cross his fingers that the internet doesn't find out.

Also somebody needs to tell him to speak to Nikola Tesla about this theory that great minds don't need jobs.

 

[Traditional Tet]

r/iamverysmart(FART)

 

[idosometimes]

So you do not have to work and you get to have sex with 15 year olds? Maybe we were a bit hasty in our dismissal of CWC-ville...

Okay, now I'm 50/50 on whether or not this is Chris himself, "Magi-Chan", or someone else in his Twitter account.

The last few tweets do not seem like stuff he would write. It has his general view of life, but not his understanding of it. i do not care really, so I will continue living my life and not research it further.

It seems a wee bit strange though. Why would he even mention work now? He has ignored these comments for years and years.

 

[The Captain]

So you do not have to work and you get to have sex with 15 year olds? Maybe we were a bit hasty in our dismissal of CWC-ville...

The last few tweets do not seem like stuff he would write. It has his general view of life, but not his understanding of it. i do not care really, so I will continue living my life. It seems a wee bit strange though. Why would he even mention work now? He has ignored these comments for years and years now.

I asked him about the Tweets and he basically changed the subject.

And I honestly have no idea what's going on with him at the moment - he's been going outside with other people lately and I'm happy for that.

 

[Xanax]

Wagie wagie get in cagie
All day long you sweat and ragie
Chris is comfy Chris is cool
Chris is free from work and school
Wagie moans and wagie cries
Chris eats burgers, sauce and fries

 

[CiaphasCain]

Chris is free from school

I'm pretty sure Chris would do anything to go back to his High School days.

 

[ZehnBoat]

chris, if you don't NEED a job, that means you don't NEED money

 

[Subconcious Offense]

I asked him about the Tweets and he basically changed the subject.

And I honestly have no idea what's going on with him at the moment - he's been going outside with other people lately and I'm happy for that.

Can you at least make sure one of them isn't a 15 year old girl? There's always a chance that tweet and darwing of Cryzel wasn't actually egged on by Idea Guy, in which case it would be the usual headcanon retcon of reality by Chris. That was what the whole Sonichu story originally served as for him.

 

[The Captain]

Can you at least make sure one of them isn't a 15 year old girl? There's always a chance that tweet and darwing of Cryzel wasn't actually egged on by Idea Guy, in which case it would be the usual headcanon retcon of reality by Chris. That was what the whole Sonichu story originally served as for him.

They're legal adults with similar shared interests.

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

They're legal adults with similar shared interests.

So they're on the spectrum too. Reading you loud and clear.

 

[The Other Chandler]

Apparently you can get a job in Cwcville, you just don't have to. It still doesn't make sense, since Denys bitches about her job in the comic, and Cwcville still has money and canonical homeless shelters. But on the optimistic side, Chris actually admitted to misspeaking

Spoiler: Tweet

 

[The Captain]

So they're on the spectrum too. Reading you loud and clear.

I will neither confirm nor deny 8)

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I will neither confirm nor deny 8)

That's a yes. It's always a yes. Normal people don't hang out with creepy McBubbleguts.

 

[Contingency_1]

Work is for the inferior. A godlike being such as Chris operates beyond our pitiful metrics.

 

[Mason Verger]

They're legal adults with similar shared interests.

The autists with shared interests are the ones that mean Chris the most harm. Fuckers like Wise and Lucas are the types that are going to pull a "slender man stabbing" kinda thing on Chris behind Sheetz.

 

[The Captain]

The autists with shared interests are the ones that mean Chris the most harm. Fuckers like Wise and Lucas are the types that are going to pull a "slender man stabbing" kinda thing on Chris behind Sheetz.

People are being vetted and it's in a professionally supervised setting - which is a good thing for Chris.

 

[Buck Mullet]

The autists with shared interests are the ones that mean Chris the most harm. Fuckers like Wise and Lucas are the types that are going to pull a "slender man stabbing" kinda thing on Chris behind Sheetz.

If it took dozens of hours interacting with Chris online to deceive Chris into doing bad things, imagine how long it would take irl. Even Chris can likely read people to some degree. To Slender Man (lol which he'll never be) Chris would require so much time, coordination, and interaction on a local and personal level among the conspirators there would be red flags all over the place. I mean Chris attracts his share of weirdos, but doubt a cadre of megalomaniacal sociopath's all happening to live near Charlottesville are among them.

 

[Apocalypso]

I was thinking

https://youtube.com/watch?v=LH-i8IvYIcg

I'll just post this here again,

Spoiler

My friend's got a trans pal
Who won't shut his hole
He bitches every day
He blames not himself except the Internet trolls
In the worst kind of way
He sits on his ass
While being spooned by a crone
Complaining about his daily dismay
But he wants more dinero just to stay at home
Well my friend
I gotta say

I won't pay, I won't pay ya, no way
Why don't you get a job
Say no way, say no way, no way
Why don't you get a job

I guess all his money, well it isn't enough
To keep the stupid jerkops at bay
I guess all his money, well it isn't enough
With that manchild's autistic taste

I won't pay, I won't pay ya, no way
Why don't you get a job
Say no way, say no way, no way
Why don't you get a job

Shitting in your pants and doing nothing at all
But hey Chris, free rides just don't come along
Every day
Let me tell you about his crazy mom now

My friend's got a trans pal, and his mom's a bitch
She tells me every day
She wants more dinero just to sleep at home
Well my friend
I gotta say

I won't pay, I won't pay ya, no way
Why don't you get a job
Say no way, say no way, no way
Why don't you get a job