Containment What If?

What if Bob discreetly paid a prostitute $500 every week to pretend to be a "boyfriend-free girl" who was interested in Chris's "attraction sign" and had sex with him, all the while pretending to a legit sweetheart?
 
If you could make a Chris Chan anime, who would you put in it? Who'd be the main villain? Who would you cut from the cast? What would the plot be?

Jiheishou Shippai Senshi Kurisu-chan no Densetsu na Daibouken

(translator's note: Autistic Fail Warrior Chris-chan's Legendary Adventure)
 
If you could make a Chris Chan anime, who would you put in it? Who'd be the main villain? Who would you cut from the cast? What would the plot be?
If that’s the case, it would be a monster of the week style anime where Chris will fight different people.

What if Chris piloted a Sonichu theme Evangelion?
 
What if Chris was actually right about the parallel universe bullshit he keeps blabbing about and he brings back sonichu to become the dictator of the United States.
 
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