Money Financhu Crisis / Chris sells his stuff megathread

[Nurse Ratchet]

The interesting and startling part is that he'd forgo somebody that he knows is reals friendship and guidance for continuing his invisible companion nonsense.

Not so arresting, really. He did punch his wilted, uber-old mother in the face bc an internet stranger basically told him his re.tarded headcanon was in peril.

I just pay attention to him as a marginally interested internet observer, but based on this equivalent of lolcow-watching through a pair of internet binoculars, it seems to me he does what he wants, & doesn't have much use for real-life internet people, malevolent or sincere, unless they're engaging his boring headcanon insanity randomizer realm, or getting him out of jams (many of which appear to ultimately be his fault, &/or the result of the fact that he's out there in the world & tethered only to his own tenuous devices of survival, &/or associated in some way with some agenda he has for his megalomaniacal headcanon).

And he really doesnt have a reason to act any differently because all these fucking losers shooting him money for his literal trash has taught him that nothing bad will ever all the way happen AND now sometimes he doesn't even have to make the effort to go hawk shit at a brick & mortar place. He has learned that screaming at Invisible Money Guy on the internet makes the Stress go away, so he can go back to another week or so of buying plastic trash and being hero-worshiped in 300+ different permutations, by consumer-directed pop culture intellectual properties. Till it all starts over again in a couple of weeks.

Just the impression I get.

 

[RustyNail(her)]

The supposed reason for the last beg spree was because Barb had a title loan and they wanted their money or the car would get repossessed. Not sure if he can be believed but Chris and Barb both strike me as the type of people to fall for late night Native American 99.9% interest rate loans commercials.

 

[Mason Verger]

Not so arresting, really. He did punch his wilted, uber-old mother in the face bc an internet stranger basically told him his re.tarded headcanon was in peril.

I just pay attention to him as a marginally interested internet observer, but based on this equivalent of lolcow-watching through a pair of internet binoculars, it seems to me he does what he wants, & doesn't have much use for real-life internet people, malevolent or sincere, unless they're engaging his boring headcanon insanity randomizer realm, or getting him out of jams (many of which appear to ultimately be his fault, &/or the result of the fact that he's out there in the world & tethered only to his own tenuous devices of survival, &/or associated in some way with some agenda he has for his megalomaniacal headcanon).

And he really doesnt have a reason to act any differently because all these fucking losers shooting him money for his literal trash has taught him that nothing bad will ever all the way happen AND now sometimes he doesn't even have to make the effort to go hawk shit at a brick & mortar place. He has learned that screaming at Invisible Money Guy on the internet makes the Stress go away, so he can go back to another week or so of buying plastic trash and being hero-worshiped in 300+ different permutations, by consumer-directed pop culture intellectual properties. Till it all starts over again in a couple of weeks.

Just the impression I get.

The sad part is, while that's true, this is all a fairly recent development. There was a time where Chris was nearly off the internet and had an honest to god social life. Even as recently as last summer he still wanted real life friends and still believed he could still find a woman. But now? Whew. None of that seems to matter anymore. Of all the many things wrong with him, it's the fact that given up trying to get laid that's most disconcerting.

 

[MY 405]

The supposed reason for the last beg spree was because Barb had a title loan and they wanted their money or the car would get repossessed. Not sure if he can be believed but Chris and Barb both strike me as the type of people to fall for late night Native American 99.9% interest rate loans commercials.

They pretty much did to up date the cars, paid too much for Chris’s Focus and Barb borrowed against his life insurance to pay for some damn thing around the same time. It was either to pay for the storage unit after the fire or for car insurance money for Chris.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

The reverse mortgage thing is a Chris urban legend because nool misspoke once and it caught on.

The result will still be the same, though. It's a secured loan that Chris won't be able to pay back on just one income and will eventually get foreclosed on. It just won't be instant like it would be with a reverse mortgage, where they could immediately evict him the day Barb died.

I bet they can put the hoard up for auction too. We'll finally get the autism papers for a reasonable price.

 

[Depression_Begins]

The sad part is, while that's true, this is all a fairly recent development. There was a time where Chris was nearly off the internet and had an honest to god social life. Even as recently as last summer he still wanted real life friends and still believed he could still find a woman. But now? Whew. None of that seems to matter anymore. Of all the many things wrong with him, it's the fact that given up trying to get laid that's most disconcerting.

It's a coping response to trauma.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fantasy_prone_personality

 

[Drawets Rednaxela]

"...here's $10 to spend on toys for the week."

You monster!

 

[The American Hedgehog]

Last month, Chris had put up a couple of spare license plates for sale. They were both bought by the same person.

That's baffling... I can kinda see someone wanting to shell out $100 for owning a piece of Christory or some BS. But what's the point of buying two?

 

[The Captain]

You monster!

If he wants more expensive shit he can save like the rest of us.. Especially when it's US that's paying for said toys.

 

[The Captain]

Last month, Chris had put up a couple of spare license plates for sale. They were both bought by the same person.

Ver archivo adjunto 543860

That's baffling... I can kinda see someone wanting to shell out $100 for owning a piece of Christory or some BS. But what's the point of buying two?

It's a local guy. Chris even drove an hour to meet him/drop off.

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

It's a local guy. Chris even drove an hour to meet him/drop off.

... No doubt chewing up no less than 1/3 of his profit margin in petrol getting there & back in that clunkbox of his...

... to meet up with a random stranger outside a 50+mile radius of the only area he's even remotely familiar with, & no, said rando having purchased shit from him once before doesn't count as a safe bet...

..I fucking wish we had a :facepalm: rating.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Last month, Chris had put up a couple of spare license plates for sale. They were both bought by the same person.

Ver archivo adjunto 543860

That's baffling... I can kinda see someone wanting to shell out $100 for owning a piece of Christory or some BS. But what's the point of buying two?

To put them both on their car and go around racking up speeding tickets in Chris' name

 

[GloryHole]

To put them both on their car and go around racking up speeding tickets in Chris' name

It's like a cult following that is so devoted to Chris that they will gladly accept his tickets and court fines as long as they are promised a perfect afterlife in the realm of CWCville

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

... No doubt chewing up no less than 1/3 of his profit margin in petrol getting there & back in that clunkbox of his...

... to meet up with a random stranger outside a 50+mile radius of the only area he's even remotely familiar with, & no, said rando having purchased shit from him once before doesn't count as a safe bet...

..I fucking wish we had a :facepalm: rating.

eh driving 2 hours to sell $200 in useless junk isn't such a bad deal

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

eh driving 2 hours to sell $200 in useless junk isn't such a bad deal

Oh, I thought it was $100.

Still tho, the difference between you or me schlepping some landfill treasures across a few counties to some random loser (which, lol, yeah no, but this is hypothetical) has vastly different implications for us than it does for him. We're not largely-reviled innurnet sped-lebrities. You & I have situational awareness. We'd have a pretty god damn good fighting chance if it turned out to be a bad situation.

Him? Done. Dog food. A risk not worth $135, no matter how dire the straits. Especially not when there's already a demonstrated market of shitlords that will flip you cash & you don't even have to send any of it till you're god damn good & ready.

Last I checked, 3 sold Fanta cans, Brother. **THREE**. Why drive anywhere?

 

[Lipitor]

Oh, I thought it was $100.

Still tho, the difference between you or me schlepping some landfill treasures across a few counties to some random loser (which, lol, yeah no, but this is hypothetical) has vastly different implications for us than it does for him. We're not largely-reviled innurnet sped-lebrities. You & I have situational awareness. We'd have a pretty god damn good fighting chance if it turned out to be a bad situation.

Him? Done. Dog food. A risk not worth $135, no matter how dire the straits. Especially not when there's already a demonstrated market of shitlords that will flip you cash & you don't even have to send any of it till you're god damn good & ready.

Last I checked, 3 sold Fanta cans, Brother. **THREE**. Why drive anywhere?

Chris is banned from a lot of his favorite area stores. So when he gets a chance to go a few towns over... well then he gets to hit up a gamestop or wherever else he's banned from. Plus he gets to get away from Barb for a few hours. Imagine how good that'd feel if you lived with your mom at 36.

 

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

None of that seems to matter anymore. Of all the many things wrong with him, it's the fact that given up trying to get laid that's most disconcerting.

Briefly fftopic:, but that seemed almost inevitable once he'd visited that hooker. Chris - I think - didn't see an ongoing sex life of any kind as gosh-darned important as just popping his cherry. Once that was done, he'd won the prize and unlocked the achievement.

Following that, he can just have mind-sex with as many hedgehog/Pokemon abominations as he likes. As he sees it, he's won. I doubt whether he even has a quick one off the wrist over a copy of Razzle anymore. Eats into that precious pony and toy-buying time.

 

[The Captain]

... No doubt chewing up no less than 1/3 of his profit margin in petrol getting there & back in that clunkbox of his...

... to meet up with a random stranger outside a 50+mile radius of the only area he's even remotely familiar with, & no, said rando having purchased shit from him once before doesn't count as a safe bet...

..I fucking wish we had a :facepalm: rating.

Same guy also claimed to be "low on funds" and bought the Guitar Hero custom geetars for close to nothing.

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

Chris is banned from a lot of his favorite area stores. So when he gets a chance to go a few towns over... well then he gets to hit up a gamestop or wherever else he's banned from. Plus he gets to get away from Barb for a few hours. Imagine how good that'd feel if you lived with your mom at 36.

I'm sure it's amazing, she seems insufferable & since he can't control his chimpouts, he can only hang out in like 25 local places he likes instead of all 70. (There are probably a few, I'm no scholar on him, but I only know of one ban that isn't confirmed to actually be his fault.)

I know this is probably Harrowing & Stressful for him & I'm sure he welcomes any reason to go spend money in a town he hasn't managed to alienate yet.

I was just talking about the risks inherent & unique to him, in venturing so far from home to meet up with a stranger. He's demonstratively not even capable of protecting himself from psychopaths when he's snuggled into his own bedroom.

I realize who I'm talking about, and I was making an outside observation that I think is pretty fair. The C/B analysis doesn't come out in his favor.

I've tried to rewrite this a couple of times without sounding like a smartass, I think I'm failing. But it's honestly not my intent. I see your points. We're just talking about 2 different things here.

 

[Mason Verger]

I was just talking about the risks inherent & unique to him, in venturing so far from home to meet up with a stranger. He's demonstratively not even capable of protecting himself from psychopaths when he's snuggled into his own bedroom.

There's a built in creep factor in anyone with a Chris memorabilia collection. There's already points in the "child, you ain't right" column if you're so much as breaking a $10 bill over Chris merch, much less somebody that's a high dollar repeat customer.

If this fool has shelf space devoted to Chris crap, it's not a stretch to assume he's got a gimp suit in a size 16 women's downstairs.