Money Financhu Crisis / Chris sells his stuff megathread

What's your favourite Chris excuse for wanting money?

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BigTubboWithLittleChina dijo:
Briefly :offtopic:, but that seemed almost inevitable once he'd visited that hooker. Chris - I think - didn't see an ongoing sex life of any kind as gosh-darned important as just popping his cherry. Once that was done, he'd won the prize and unlocked the achievement.

Following that, he can just have mind-sex with as many hedgehog/Pokemon abominations as he likes. As he sees it, he's won. I doubt whether he even has a quick one off the wrist over a copy of Razzle anymore. Eats into that precious pony and toy-buying time.
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No, I don't think that's the case. I think Chris always expected to be regularly having sex because that's what's normal.

I don't think Chris has yet noticed that he's not constantly having sex, but if you brought it up to him, I do think he'd find it somewhat weird. (But he'd immediately justify it with something stupid, like as you said, with the psychic, transdimensional sex or whatever.)

I don't think Chris expected to be in the place he is now, especially not with sex.
 
After a 5 day lull in begging, Chris is back at it again.

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Marvin dijo:
I don't think Chris has yet noticed that he's not constantly having sex, but if you brought it up to him, I do think he'd find it somewhat weird. (But he'd immediately justify it with something stupid, like as you said, with the psychic, transdimensional sex or whatever.)

I don't think Chris expected to be in the place he is now, especially not with sex.
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I sure find it extremely odd that an uber chad like Chris isn't regularly getting the nookie.
 
Slowinthemind dijo:
What's shocking is that no female has fucked him just for the Internet fame, even when trolls set him up with a date with hambeast she thought she could do better, he really is unfuckable.
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There was that one woman from the Bronycon before last who was caught in frame in one of Chris's pictures, she ended up making an account here before being laughed out of here after revealing that she actually admired Chris. She might fuck him, though maybe Chris has long since missed the chance.
 
Subconcious Offense dijo:
There was that one woman from the Bronycon before last who was caught in frame in one of Chris's pictures, she ended up making an account here before being laughed out of here after revealing that she actually admired Chris. She might fuck him, though maybe Chris has long since missed the chance.
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Chris had enough trouble even before he was Internet famous and "straight", now he has narrowed down the list of potential lovers to autistic lesbians into fat, sweaty balding men on hormones that are also willing to be harassed by a legion of trolls for years to come. I do not think it is a coincidence that the prostitute that Chris fucked then doxxed is now no longer on the game.
 
Slowinthemind dijo:
What's shocking is that no female has fucked him just for the Internet fame, even when trolls set him up with a date with hambeast she thought she could do better, he really is unfuckable.
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When Chris has had actual supporters and fans, he's treated them terribly unless they're moderately attractive.

I suppose this is the kind of warped mentality one can have when your dad pays pretty high school girls to give you the time of the day.
 
The American Hedgehog dijo:
Buying posters from Chris is a really bad idea.

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That's not the first time he fucked up mailing a poster.

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Chris really is retarded.
How could you possibly fuck up sending a poster...?
He only has to do two things; roll the poster up and put it inside a postal tube. It's so simple - they probably even sell them at the same post office he sends all his items from!
 
Silver Octopus dijo:
Chris really is exceptional.
How could you possibly fuck up sending a poster...?
He only has to do two things; roll the poster up and put it inside a postal tube. It's so simple - they probably even sell them at the same post office he sends all his items from!
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I wouldn't be surprised he doesn't know that.
 
Mason Verger dijo:
He's been making that much in sales since April, if not twice that. Add in patreon for another $250 and $1300 in tugboat and that's nearly $3000 a month for the past 6 months. If he keeps that up for another 6 months he'll earn $36,000 a year, which is well above the national average.


Keep that in mind next time he begs for food money. Chris probably makes more than a lot of people that post here.
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Living the American dream...

I chuckle when people tell Chris to get a job that pays more, as if he could do that with his work history and internet persona. It would also be one of the few ways he can lose his tugboat. Many mentally disabled people I've been around work part-time but under whatever SSI amount they get per month. Chris is way past State workers bugging him about that, though.

Chris can also easily get SNAP benefits for food, if he's not already.
 
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