Money Financhu Crisis / Chris sells his stuff megathread

What's your favourite Chris excuse for wanting money?

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James Howlett dijo:
It's a less stupid plan than I originally theorized, but it's still a stupid.

Maybe I'm playing the game "X-Files: Autism Edition" too seriously.
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If there's anything I've learned in this past month of trying to piece together these troll plans: there's no such thing as too stupid, too expensive, too complicated or too autistic.
 
Okkervils dijo:
Speak for yourself.

On a serious note, things Chris tends to find not embarrassing, would be pretty humiliating to the average person. This is just a thought but I wonder if this is a paradoxical thing where when/if the true story does come out about all this, the situation will portray him in a sympathetic light and it won't seem that embarrassing to us.

A typical person falling for a scam or being cheated out of money can be embarrassing, but if you look at it as, "this is Chris"... The standards for embarrassment from the outside looking in are quite different.

Like I said, just a thought. Obviously it's more likely he just wired 1k to a ween posing as Sonichu or another fictional character. Or fake brony-con tickets. Who the fuck knows at this point.
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It seems like the biggest difference that a normal person with something they want to conceal doesn't go around saying "Ooohh. I have such a big secret, but I can't tell you." That is 6 year old girl shit.
 
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Marvin dijo:
Now what I'm wondereing is: how would being suckered in by a cult fit into all this? Like if you are wiring someone money because you believe they're god.
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A cult would have to find and connect with Chris first. I don't know which, if any, operate in his neck of the woods or where they recruit. Otherwise it's possible - specifically after Barb passes - because Chris would eagerly accept what's ostensibly a welcoming social group if only he could find them, and pretending to be as much is how cults always snare their targets.

Mind you, I'm talking vis-a-vis cults that promise happiness and belonging, like Scientology. Some MLM scams have been described as cults (they promise money instead) and Chris has already been caught in one such scam (Cutco).
 
How is Chris going to explain to Rocky, who is church affiliated, that he got mixed up in a heathen religion?

Is she even in the picture anymore?
 
Most enforced tard wranglers are just because various assholes have Christian moral bullshit that makes them want to control charity for tards, to make sure they don't wander off their moral path.

In theory, Chris should have a tard wrangler to keep him from spending his money on bullshit, but in reality, he isn't wasting it anywhere near as badly as drunks, drug addicts, and other idiots who blow all their welfare on shit like heroin.

In short, leave Chris alone. He's nowhere near as bad as most of these assholes.
 
AnOminous dijo:
I wouldn't actually be surprised if his IQ is above average, at least on paper. I think he is a tard by choice, and that his parents basically amplified his autism to the point of turning him into a tard by completely refusing anything other than mainstreaming him. If the tale about Bob basically paying girls to be his friends is true, they were also his worst trolls, because his formative years where you learn how to interact with the opposite sex were warped because every interaction in his life was staged or influenced by others.

Already autistic, he was doubly fucked because most of his interactions with other people even before Internet trolls were essentially fake. He didn't really have any models for proper behavior because his parents deliberately deprived him of them. They didn't intend to harm him by doing this, but they certainly didn't understand autism or how to raise an autistic child, and did exactly the opposite of what any sane people would have done.

tl;dr the irl version of The Truman Show is more like Cronenberg's version of The Fly. Chris's personality is a deformed mess.
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Hollywood Hulk Hogan dijo:
I would be really shocked if Chris was even average IQ. And not just because he is autistic, but he legitimately seems below average intelligence. He is the same guy who made up the fact that Panda died because she was in Australia and there were wildfires there, despite the fact she was hundreds of miles from the fires (and that's a pretty big leap in logic). He's the same guy who thought Molvania was real, even though he couldn't find it on a globe. He also took years to finish a CAD certificate
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Gotta agree with Hulk here. Sure Chris had a shitty upbringing, but he also was exposed to some form of education and clearly just got passed through. I'm sure they would have let him excel if he could.. but Chris doesn't want anything beyond minimum effort. If he was actually clever his malicious attempts would be way more intimidating.
 
Okkervils dijo:
Ah, thanks for the correction. For some reason I thought he attended a Unitarian Church at one point but he never has. My bad.
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It's probably a moot point anyway, she was pretty old when she first found Chris 9 years ago, I'd hope she's not still doing pro bono life coaching for a guy who really hasn't taken her any of her advice anymore.

Plus she kinda sucked at it.
 
Mr. Pickles dijo:
You know if he took a fucking shower, minded his own business, and didn't go out of his way to look as out of place as possible... No one would have cared if he showed up at the mall.

Why is Chris completely incapable of going anywhere without being banned? God damn it
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Also add to the mix that Chris admitted recently that he goes everywhere wielding a baseball bat and he frequents many places that don't welcome openly hostile behavior like that.

Take End Games for example. Indie gaming shops like that are tight knit communities that are supposed to be safe spaces for geeks to forget about the real world for a while and nerd out. Chris coming in screeching and swinging a bat would be a huge buzzkill at the very least.
 
chris would solve all his financial problems if he sold barb into sexual slavery to @Huntin' Slash

she'd stop screaming into his ear to pay her shit and the bill collectors would magically know she doesn't live there and would stop calling the house to tell them the bills are past DULAAAAAY
 
Subconcious Offense dijo:
When exactly will we know if he's fucked? @Marvin do you know what time of month his bills' deadlines are?
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Pickle Inspector dijo:
I'm assuming if he was truely fucked Barb would be getting him to sell more stuff right now and it's possible he's scrambling to find a way to still go to Bronycon.
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Oh, I didn't mean to say Chris would necessarily be fucked. He might be fucked, we'll need to wait and see. Just saying that he's in serious shit. Like back when Barb had lawsuits, I never expected them to go anywhere, so I wasn't surprised when they just made payment plans. It's different this time and there's actual financial issues that they can't wave away.

They might scrape by. They might not.
 
Marvin dijo:
Oh, I didn't mean to say Chris would necessarily be fucked. He might be fucked, we'll need to wait and see. Just saying that he's in serious shit. Like back when Barb had lawsuits, I never expected them to go anywhere, so I wasn't surprised when they just made payment plans. It's different this time and there's actual financial issues that they can't wave away.

They might scrape by. They might not.
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Does THIS involve Barb? Because she is not a tard like Chris. If she's involved she might think of something, saving Chris yet again.

I don't see Barb throwing Chris under the bus until she knows she's going to die. She's beginning to need to depend on him, and she must know this.
 
Subconcious Offense dijo:
Does THIS involve Barb? Because she is not a tard like Chris. If she's involved she might think of something, saving Chris yet again.

I don't see Barb throwing Chris under the bus until she knows she's going to die. She's beginning to need to depend on him, and she must know this.
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Well it's not Chris alone that needs saving. They need to pay the mortgage. Even if Chris is drained to $0 but she's untouchable, she still needs his tugboat to stay afloat.
 
I think Chris still has $1300 a month SSDI to take care of the mortgage if they can get on a payment plan. They're probably going to be fine if that's the only problem. He'll just tard out about not being able to afford toys anymore (or people from Twitter will start buying him toys)

I think that's the end game, Barb will push Chris to give up more and more of the monthly income to keep both of them afloat, and it will work, because Chris isn't moving out.
 
So much of the Chandlers staying afloat hinges on them basically becoming entirely different people in regards to spending.

Chris has both court and bronycon coming up, court fines could be paid off in installments, but its still a bill that absolutely must be paid or it goes to warrent. Bronycon is already running at a loss, he's out $250 for the ticket whether he stays home or not. Personally I think he'll move heaven and earth to get there and basically spend everything he has/will have on one weekend of pony bliss.

However bad things seem now, I think by August they're irreversibly fucked.
 
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