The very thing that lead me to all of this was, would you believe it, Vicky herself. Trawling through her u/teenytinybaklava account, I spotted a reply that gave me a hunch to check.
Could it be...
u/anykindofguy (
Archive) is Ana Victoria Markhoff AKA Victor Markhoff AKA u/teenytinybaklava's alt. account. She used the account to represent and reflect her real-life identity, and I believe she initially made it as a throwaway to confess into the void her feelings of wanting to be a Tumblr softboi. She continued to use it through her time in NYU, at the peak of her student activities, before the account went silent. Overall nothing remarkable, but we do get to see some rare twink softboi Vickies and a whole lotta naval gazing.
2017-04-23
Wanting HRT but also fearing it
So I've known something was off gender-wise for many years, and I've known I'm a guy for several months now. I'm moved past the point of questioning whether I'm trans, because my gender has been such a huge fucking obsession that there's no way I'm cis.
The internal battle that I've been having, though, is whether I want to go on T.
I pass 80% of the time now (if not even more often), but I'm acutely aware that I look like a 14 year old boy. It makes me so anxious that I don't look like my own age and that without hormones I'm doomed to stay trapped as a teenager. 14 is bearable at 18. It might not be so bearable in a few years when I'm, say, 22. And I want many of the effects of T so bad. I'm acutely aware of my fat distribution, and I want it changed now. I want bigger arms. I want the male hairline. I want a beard. I want to be hairy. I want my boobs gone, and while I know T won't get rid of them at least they'll stop growing.
But then when I think about going on hormones I panic because what if I end up too masculine? I love that I'm giving off a feminine boy vibe, and considering how masculine all the other guys in my family are, it would crush me if I ended up like them. I imagine myself as a guy with a high pitched voice (for a guy), slender (like I am now), and switching between growing a beard and being clean shaven. I'm especially worried about my voice. I mean, I don't want my current pitch, but I still want to speak on the higher and more feminine side, you know? I'm also worried about ruining my singing voice. And what if I end up being gross? I really don't want to be macho. I may be a guy, but I embrace my femininity.
Basically, I'm switching every two seconds between "I can live my life without T" and "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE I NEED IT RIGHT NOW." How can I figure this out?
I’m a student at NYU trying to make our food system completely allergen free. To those of you in accommodating schools: what did they do right?
Hello!
I’m a student senator currently working on an initiative to make New York University (NYU) accommodate those with food allergies and intolerances. I have Celiac disease myself, and right now, apart from a couple of small gluten free bread stations, the dining halls are a cross contamination nightmare. A lot of staff don’t understand what cross contamination is and how serious it can be. This means that people like me mostly can’t eat within our dining system.
However! NYU is soon renegotiating its food provider contract, giving us an open window to mandate accommodation and change things for the better. So far, this initiative has a lot of support.
I want to learn from those of you who are in schools, colleges, and universities who appropriately cater to those with food intolerances and allergies. What does your school do? How do they do it? What do they do right?
I’m open to any suggestions. Also, for now, don’t limit yourself budget-wise!
As can be discerned from her u/anykindofguy account, she has an
insatiable need for attention as a 19 year old, made even worse with the kind of impulsive behaviour that warranted every bit of her parents' worry. She posted her desire to take testosterone April 2017, and by July of the same year she was poonin' out chemically. She was ceremoniously kicked out in August after coming out. No forethought, no planning, just WANNA BE A BOI NOW NOW. My God, no wonder her friends booted her off.
Aside, I do believe that her attention-seeking behaviour was tolerated (maybe even enabled) by the fact that she was genuinely good-looking. She had the advantage of being young, tall and skinny, and knew how to dress in an inoffensive and age-appropriate way -- very much unlike a lot of the pooners of today's age who appropriate punk fashion in an obtusely maximalist manner. 2016-2017 was also the best time for pooners in terms of acceptance, and enjoyed microcelebrity popularity in certain circles -- as I recall Miles McKenna came out early 2017, Jammidodger reached 50k subs in YouTube in 2016 -- and Vicky successfully rode that wave until she decided to look for excuses for her academic failings.
Was it worth it, Vicky?
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