The thing I don’t get is, are some of these women aware that they’re beards?
How do they deal with that?
Back in high school I had a (closeted) gay best friend that of course got a lot of shit for it because everyone could tell he was gay as much as he denied it.
So I offered to be his beard, and we “dated” for a while to try to get these guys to calm down.
I knew he was gay, he knew he was gay, we didn’t do anything but hold hands in school.
He was my friend, but I wasn’t attracted to him any more than he was attracted to me.
From what I understand, it’s a case by case.
A lot of lavender weddings were between a screaming poofter and a tuppence licking dyke as a convenient way for both of them to keep parents and relatives happy.
Sometimes it was because an inheritance was locked off unless the trustee got married.
Sometimes it’s because the man is deeply in the closet, engages in cottaging or bath house encounters, but plays a straight act all day long.
Sometimes the woman is either in denial or just really does love her gay husband and, perhaps she hasn’t got much in the way of sex drive.
The wife who boasted about her husband’s hair talent while being oblivious to his other practices was a thing up to the 80s.
It might still occur, but it was a semi stereotype of the beard.
But also there are complete marriages of convenience, in which the man and beard are open about their habits and lovers with each other, but make a point of attending events and functions together.
This is usually when there is a financial incentive and the man is in a position which he is expected to be a married man.
A conservative Christian community for instance.
It’s not unheard of in Muslim and jewish communities either.
Though Muslim gay men of this sort in the west usually can just arrange for an inbred cousin who only speaks their native tongue to come and wed him, then he can keep her isolated in their community and go and fuck boys.