💥 Trainwreck Pixyteri / Sarah Guilbeaux / Ashton Winters - Glorious Nippon Cosplayer and Stomach Penis Pooner, she's peein' and poopin' the bed, mother is equally crazy

[Phouquehead]

1. Don't smell bad (insta-Pixy fail, right there)
2. Don't be too weird or weeby (see above)
3. Don't creep on your kids (I am trying to be nice, but she'd likely do something inappropriate with one of the young males)
4. Show up on time on do your damned job (Pixy's near-daily crises make this a problem, too)

Why am I feeling like a defence-attorney whom just did the prosecutor's job for him?

Sorry, but you lost your case. Pixy still has to carry out the rest of her life sentence of being an unemployable social reject in Texas, even if other losers got to become eikaiwa teachers.

Anyway, I guess once in a blue moon Sarah will solve one of her problems all by herself.

"I'm so sheltered." More like she's always acted like an incompetent tard, so her parents didn't bother to teach her anything because she never demonstrated the ability (or interest) to actually learn. Or maybe they did show her how to do some car maintenance years ago but she forgot, figuring she could always pay someone else to do it. Again, she sounds like a child in most of her posts, and expects to be taken seriously. And why do we need to know she drives a Ford Edge? Does she think a Karen-ass SUV is some kind of status symbol?

 

[Lord Of Shit]

Sorry, but you lost your case. Pixy still has to carry out the rest of her life sentence of being an unemployable social reject in Texas, even if other losers got to become eikaiwa teachers.

Anyway, I guess once in a blue moon Sarah will solve one of her problems all by herself.
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"I'm so sheltered." More like she's always acted like an incompetent tard, so her parents didn't bother to teach her anything because she never demonstrated the ability (or interest) to actually learn. Or maybe they did show her how to do some car maintenance years ago but she forgot, figuring she could always pay someone else to do it. Again, she sounds like a child in most of her posts, and expects to be taken seriously. And why do we need to know she drives a Ford Edge? Does she think a Karen-ass SUV is some kind of status symbol?

Of course I lost my case: I took a shit on it, set it on fire, and flung it at the judge's face while screaming about how I ran over his dog and plan to face-fuck his twelve-year-old granddaughter. (Just so you know, that last bit didn't spring from my diseased mind, but an actual bodycam video; the cops were fucking Buddhas).

I was just trying to find hope for her, y'know? She's one of our oldest (lol) cows, and she had potential. If she turns her life around, my atheist ass will start going to church, 'cause miracles happen.

OT: This is more pooner-style gender-LARPing, and it fits the profile: the tranny in question obsesses over (potentially-nonexistent) negative (but "desirable!") traits in the other sex, and fetishises them:

Troon: "uwu im so cwumsey and weak; i hope noebody wapes me... "
Pooner: "I did ultra-basic car maintenance. I have no vagina and I must menstruate".

 

[Stinkyboy]

"I'm just a girl"

 

[Dysnomia]

I know! The BA in English would easily get her in, even considering her age and lack of practical experience. It's the spaz-whore (and likely being a useless moron) bit which would tank her within a week, and trust me: the standards for eikaiwa teachers are not high. Several of the people I worked with were utter fuck-ups, and not even the entertaining kind which we document here.

Here, the standards:

1. Don't smell bad (insta-Pixy fail, right there)
2. Don't be too weird or weeby (see above)
3. Don't creep on your kids (I am trying to be nice, but she'd likely do something inappropriate with one of the young males)
4. Show up on time on do your damned job (Pixy's near-daily crises make this a problem, too)

Why am I feeling like a defence-attorney whom just did the prosecutor's job for him?

The pronoun meltdowns would definitely be a problem. That's how she lost her job at Lowe's. Then she got into that physical fight over pronouns with a fellow LARPer. And then we have her talking about having tantrums and throwing silverware when waitstaff calls her "ma'am". It was in a fanfic so it likely happened.

Didn't she refer to her male high school students as cute or sexy back when she was substituting? People told her not to say that because it might be taken the wrong way.

Sorry, but you lost your case. Pixy still has to carry out the rest of her life sentence of being an unemployable social reject in Texas, even if other losers got to become eikaiwa teachers.

Anyway, I guess once in a blue moon Sarah will solve one of her problems all by herself.
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"I'm so sheltered." More like she's always acted like an incompetent tard, so her parents didn't bother to teach her anything because she never demonstrated the ability (or interest) to actually learn. Or maybe they did show her how to do some car maintenance years ago but she forgot, figuring she could always pay someone else to do it. Again, she sounds like a child in most of her posts, and expects to be taken seriously. And why do we need to know she drives a Ford Edge? Does she think a Karen-ass SUV is some kind of status symbol?

Well, at least she did something stereotypically masculine that for once isn't incelposting. I'm actually impressed.

Is a Ford Edge some popular car or something? I don't drive so I know nothing about what car is hip to have or why. In her fanfics she keeps mentioning the heated seats like it's some amazing rarity.

 

[Lord Of Shit]

It was in a fanfic so it likely happened.

random.txt bait, right there.

The pronoun meltdowns would definitely be a problem. That's how she lost her job at Lowe's. Then she got into that physical fight over pronouns with a fellow LARPer. And then we have her talking about having tantrums and throwing silverware when waitstaff calls her "ma'am".

I know, I know...

I just really think that if she were majikarii teleported into a normie teaching job, she might get it together.

She will never be a smashing success, or even completely de-weeb, but women (yes, and men, too) often just want to settle down into some kind of stability at her age.

That's what gets me about this cow: she still has potential, while most cows have ruined themselves forever in so many ways.

Chris-Chan, or DSP and the like are cooked: they can never live a normie life.

Fuck, even Null can (probably, but troons are like elephants, man...) walk still around in public, go shopping for discount blocks of cheese and so on, but he still has to watch his back.

But Pixy?

*slap*
STOP BEING A WEEBTARD
"buuut. uwu"...
*slap* WHAT'D I JUST SAY ABOUT BEING A WEEB?
*slap**slap**slap**slap*
"uwu"...
*slap*

If that could work, she could live a normie, middle-class life RIGHT NOW.

Wasted potential, man.

Anyway, what the opposite of alogging? 'Cause I think I'm guilty of that right now.

 

[Picklechu]

Going blind in one eye? Maybe she should wear an eyepatch and we get the Solid Pixy saga.
Anything would be better than the current belted troonery nonsense.

I actually dreamed this about a year ago.

I took a nap earlier today, and had a dream that Pixy incorporated an eyepatch into her daily cosplay for seemingly no reason. (That probably means I'm spending too much time on KF again.) When I woke up, my brain decided to Pixy-fy Metal Gear Solid titles instead of doing anything productive.

Pixy Fear Squalid

Pixy Fear Squalid 2: Buns of Obesity

Pixy Fear Squalid 3: Cake Eater

Pixy Fear Squalid V: The Tummy Pain/Pixy Fear Squalid V: The Phantom Penis


Desiccated turd or hernia make far too much sense, it's obviously her hidden, urgent penis that the doctors refuse to pull out. Ashton is a manly man who has human rights and will not be harmed by hormonal Whataburger!

 

[Kosher Dill]

I just really think that if she were majikarii teleported into a normie teaching job, she might get it together.

Bruh, she couldn't even keep it together working at the Lowe's garden center doing the most tard-sheltered jobs they had.

 

[Dysnomia]

I actually dreamed this about a year ago.

I've had a few illnesses where I was so sick that my vision started going white and parts of the world just disappeared. It's bizarre to experience.

Anyway, it looks like the eye bleed happened when she was rubbing her eyes with the contacts in. Remember, those cheapo circle lenses are not prescription. She's wearing her prescription lenses underneath them. It's a wonder she hasn't gotten a major eye infection yet since she's already gross and double contacts is playing with fire. Surprisingly she took Facebook advice and is gonna go with glasses for now. That, coupled with the fact that she managed to fix her own car makes me wonder if she recently took a crazy pill or her dad hid one in her junk food. She's having a moment of clarity. Sadly it won't last.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

The problem with her Japan dreams is she wants to live there AND wants to be ethnically Japanese

And she wants to be a kawaii idoru desu desu and have legions of fans wanting to take pictures of her in her totally sweet cosplay.

Working an actual job is not for Pixy. She wants everything just handed to her.

Anyway, I guess once in a blue moon Sarah will solve one of her problems all by herself.

She's proud of being adequate. That's sad.

Anyway, it looks like the eye bleed happened when she was rubbing her eyes with the contacts in.

Or... it just happened. Sure rubbing the eye can trigger it but so can sneezing. coughing or straining. Fact is it's not dangerous unless it hurts, vision changes or it's the result of a head / eye injury.

But this is Pixy we're talking about when everything is life threatening.

 

[Breadbear]

For the brake fluid, that's something they check when you take the car in for a tune up... But that would eat into her cosplay and hormone burger budget.
In any case, she figured out how to top it off, quite possibly with the help of a YouTube tutorial. Hopefully there isn't a leak.

 

[Dysnomia]

I just really think that if she were majikarii teleported into a normie teaching job, she might get it together.

You have to take into account that she has to be fully medicated to even stand a chance of acting acceptable in a teaching job. Back when she was subbing she was acting like a self entitled twat dressing in inappropriate clothes and flip flops and seemed clueless as to why that wasn't ok. Her mental state is even worse now. She couldn't even do her tard job at Dollar Tree.

I'm of the mindset that even if Pixy won the billion dollar Powerball she'd be miserable because she will always find a reason to moo about being HARMED.

 

[Balthier]

I don't think this unstable woman with no sense of boundaries or what is/isn't appropriate should be anywhere near kids, especially not with any sort of authority over them.

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

Even if she were to get a teaching job, she's absolutely fucked for retirement and SS, unless she plans and is lucky enough to be able to work past 70. She's going to end up like Lucas Werner, pulling $200 a month and blowing it on Whataburger while being homeless.

 

[Exist0]

Been thinking maybe the rape ghost is the ghost of Pixy future,

 

[Shay Van Buren]

 

[Falcon Sebben]

More whining and whinging from Pixy.

(*spoiler goes here*)
The kanji is for orchid.
Her chili looks like shit and she's in Texas. There's no beans in Texas chili.
She's in the US. Guys give women chocolate on Valentines not the other way around. And even if she got it in Japan it would be giri-choco or "obligation chocolate". Basically the cheap mass produced stuff. You give more expensive stuff to superiors, cheap stuff to everybody else and something home made to the special man in your life. Now I bet you she's not going to complain next month about not having anybody to give stuff to on "White Day" where the roles are reversed.
(*End of spoilers*)

And the less said about the painting the better.

Also, on a purely unconnected level, since the changeover I'm unable to do anything but give a "thumbs up" like to anything. And it goes to another page to ask if I really want to do so. Seems weird. Also the spoiler function doesn't work.

EDIT: formatting

 

[KuwabaraTheMan]

"I made chili all on my own with dad's help"

She genuinely can't do shit by herself and it's getting shocking at this point.

 

[knux]

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"Try AI"
"But it's not the kanji for Ai"

Same as when people said she needs to show some grace
"My name's not Grace, I'm a man!"

This is what keeps me coming back. Pixy is both completely nuts and dumber than a box of rocks.
Also, if your dad helped you, then you didn't make it "all on your own".

 

[Vampirella]

Forget magic windchime, now we have bathroom rock.

 

[Phouquehead]

She has no shame in posting for everyone to see that she's 40 years old and has to have her father help her in the kitchen. The way she complains about "being sheltered" makes me think maybe Debbie forbade Sarah from doing things like cooking and car maintenance for herself for some deranged reason, but that's giving Sarah too much credit. This bitch really went 20 years without doing much of anything for herself except driving and it's only now because she's broke, isolated, and Debbie's out of the house, that she's finally making attempts at being an adult. Guess she's dropping the "daddy diddled me after giving me too much Benadryl on family vacation!" allegations because she has literally no one else in her life.

She also has no shame in that she's just painting nudes of her dream girl now, the type she used to be jealous of: young, petite and redheaded. Because she can't be that, old, fat and dark haired Ashtray wants to dominate and abuse the woman she didn't get to be, the woman that stole fuckbuddy Kris' attention away her. She thinks we all forgot her years-long grudge against redheads. How much do you think she'll sell her deep psychosexual disorder/gooning material painting for, $300?

She's probably trying to sell that kanji rock too and that's the only reason she's asking about its meaning. "What's AI?" Jesus Christ, Pixy, do you live under a rock?! She's made shitty AI-filtered pics of herself with a beard a few years back and reposts generated slop images all the time, but I wouldn't be surprised if she thought those were all real, drawn or manually Photoshopped/edited. Must be nice being permanently trapped in 2007 with an IQ of the can of beans she used for her dog food-looking chili.