I wonder if there’s been a brief moment where he breaks out of the Johma programming and remembers something from when he used to hang out with Max, Chad, and Joji, whether it be from hearing a song back then or stumbling on an old photo or video, and reminisces.
Too bad he’s already balls deep in the shit he started and chose transactional Twitch streamers over them. I bet he’ll start having his own “I had so many friends back there… in Manchester High…” ramblings soon, though.
yes to remember, no from breaking from programming. in fact that's probably one of the foundational problems he's so fucked by imo. recently showed his entire process when he did the mini arc of remembering making "i'm gay", and rewriting his memory as, paraphrased, "actually they fuckin told me to say some gay shit, max was very fuckin heteronormative and toxic cis and actually fuckin what i did was progressive for the time and i've heard a lot of fuckin gay people tell me how powerful it was"
for the average person, you would have some moment like if one night idubbz was almost asleep and then had a flash of holding h3's kid, or them hugging or sharing shit behind the scenes, and him having some form of thoughts like "was i right to have done what ive done?". or for other stuff, it'd be like remembering shit you did in school or disturbingly recently and cringe, but he has a similar thing anisa does and various irl mental people you meet have, and the sigil of the manic bpdemon where it's the most toxic, looking at noose shit to be around where there could be a situation where you all have a good time but 2 weeks later label you as a horrible person, or they could do a major fuck up but rewrite it so specifically and with such detail that without (or even with depending on their bpdemon level) concrete proof or a person to anchor you nearby, you believe you fucked up actually, and it's not a few occassional occurences, that shit's LIFELONG
anisa also, as the thread shows and knows, has the memory shit BAD where instead of accepting or cringing at just being a titty streamer for example, she remembers it as her being some form of like Pipkin pippa with a actual fan club instead of the equivalent of jeets shaking hands at the strip club, and has the convoluted video rants about how idubbzs screwed up her community growth and popularity, when in any reality it's incredibly easy to summarize with something within one sentence like "you were a titty streamer when there were few options and people didn't discover belle delphine or momokun yet"
memory rewriting is also how her delusions of grandeur set in, she wasn't a titty streamer, she was a force of personality, but even if she was a titty streamer, she had the makings of pokimane, but only didn't make it because ian ruined her life, she didn't just take glorified pe class she was very athletic and skilled in sports, she didn't just sign money, text people when she felt like it and hit a bag at the gym semi weekly she was a boxer and manager, she didn't just get flash art over and over in random locations, she's actually highly into tattoos as an art form and art in general, repeat til death, or hopefully for ian forever and ever with no escape
