AIO for taking a break from friends for a while after none of them came to my engagement party?
I 33(f) got engaged earlier this year & last weekend my partner & I threw an engagement party. It was meant to be a chance for all our friends & family (who live all over the state) to meet & have a fun time.
My partner has so many friends haha he's very well liked & it makes me feel proud that I get to be with such a kind person.
I, on the other hand, have only a few close friends & 2 family members.
I used to have a quite severe drinking problem & during that time I lost quite a few friends (I have made amends but unfortunately I'll never be close with many of them again).
Without sounding too victim-y, I've had a lot of trouble during my life of being used. Until
I started medication for ADHD a year ago I struggled with social anxiety & being a chronic people pleaser (amongst some pretty dark stuff happening)
Anyways, I think I'm over explaining haha I invited my 3 closest friends who I've known for 15+ years (all separate from each other) & 2 newer friends (who replied with "no, we work weekends"
).
My partner had at least 50 people show up. Over the afternoon/evening I got messages from each of the 3 saying they weren't coming. My two family members left early; they aren't very social & got a bit overwhelmed.
Then my partners parents bought out a surprise cake & gave speeches. They were all so wonderful & welcomed me into the family... But afterward I had to sneak off & cry. I felt so embarrassed & disappointed, and normally it takes a lot for me to feel like that.
It's not that I'm worried his friends/family will think I'm a friendless weirdo; it's that I was so excited to share these people with them & I feel like I'm not all that important. It's not the first time these people have missed important events for me.
Since then I haven't responded to anyone or gone out with my partner & his friends. Maybe I'm just being a sook, but I just feel... Sad? Nah.. more just like I want to do my own thing for a while.
I feel bad though because I've completely ghosted my friends but I feel like there's a brick wall blocking me from getting in touch. Am I overreacting?
